


Her Name Isn't Snow

by Rhaella_Emma_Targaryen



Series: Snow [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Drama & Romance, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2019-09-05 19:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 135,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16817263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhaella_Emma_Targaryen/pseuds/Rhaella_Emma_Targaryen
Summary: Her white hair wasn't kissed by snow, it was a sign of power, of strength. A sign of the dragon. Her last name may be Snow, like the bastard boy she had fallen for, but she was anything but. A fugitive princess hidden away, on the run, her own identity kept a secret from all of those around her. A game she never intended to play, but now one she had to win. It's everyone for themselves, lover torn away from lover. The game spares no one."I should never have left you" he whispered to me softly, tears in his eyes as he took in my broken body."I should never have returned"





	1. Sunrise

It was early, that time in the morning right before the sun rises and wakes all of Winterfell. I loved to watch the woods from the broken tower, right as the sun rises, seeing the light stretch out over the trees and warming up the endless land of snow. 

"I thought I'd find you here" 

This time I didn't jump at the sound of his voice. Once he found out this was my hiding spot he came here often, finding in it the same comfort I did. 

"You're up early" I replied, keeping my eyes on the impending sunrise. 

"Same goes for you" he answers in that soft, gentle voice of his. 

"You know I like to watch the sunrise," I say with a smile, feeling him walk up next to me, his very presence warming up my frozen body. 

"I do, that's why I came up here," He says softly as if he spoke too loud the sun wouldn't rise. 

"What's wrong?" I ask, finally allowing myself to face him. He looked handsome as always, his black curly hair and sharp jaw and those eyes. His beautiful hazel eyes that never ceased to bring me comfort when I needed it. But right now those eyes betrayed a look of worry. 

"I want to go to the wall," he admits with a shaky breath. I can feel my chest seize up at the very thought. The wall was a dangerous place, full of thieves and hard men. It wasn't a good place for him.

"Why?" I ask, although I already knew the answer. He didn't dare look in my eyes, knowing he would take the notion back the instant he did. 

"I don't belong here, I'll always be Ned Stark's bastard. At least there that doesn't matter" he says, continuing to gaze out, the sun beginning to rise and light up the tops of the trees. 

"It doesn't matter here, at least not to me," I tell him as he turns to look at me.

"I know" he smiles.

"When do you plan on going?" I ask with a deep sigh.

"When the time's right, maybe when uncle Benjen comes next" he mumbles, turning to look back out towards the sky. 

"I'll miss you...when you go," I tell him nervously. 

"I'll miss you too, but it won't be for a while," he says, trying to be reassuring, the cold winter air starts to blow. I shiver on instinct and cross my arms over my chest, trying to hold onto my escaping warmth. 

"Cold?" he asks, eyeing me with a teasing smile.

"Always" I answer with a small laugh. All these years and I still couldn't get used to the cold. 

"Well come here then," he tells me holding out his arms. I gladly walk closer to him, letting his right arm wrap around me and pull me into his warm body. 

"How is it you are always so warm?" I ask with a shudder, trying to let my frigid body relax. 

"Don't know, probably for the same reason you're always so cold" he teases giving my small frame a comforting squeeze. I smile, watching as the sun finally makes its way up above the trees. 

"We should go" he whispers to me. 

"Just a few more minutes" I whisper back, wanting to remember this moment with him. 

After a while, we make our way down the broken tower and head to the stables to begin our chores. Thankfully it was always warm in the stables. 

"Why don't you go learn sewing with the other ladies?" he asks during his shoveling, while I brushed the horses. 

"I'm not really a lady now am I?" I mumble back, continuing to brush the chestnut's mane. 

"You're Ned Stark's adopted daughter, I'd say that makes you lady enough" he huffs.

"But I'm not a Stark, I'm not even from the North. You know that Jon..." I tell him with an uneasy breath at the mention of my secret. 

"Aye, I do. But it shouldn't matter"

"But it does Jon, if anyone else were to ever find out...it would endanger the family, your family" I reason, giving him a threatening glance. 

"Then why did you tell me?" He asks, leaning on his shovel, watching me with curious eyes. 

"Because we're friends" I answer simply, but we both know it wasn't that simple. But how could I tell him that it was because I loved him, and trusted him with everything? 

"You're friends with Robb and Arya, you didn't tell them" He counters, giving me a crooked grin. 

"You know what I mean Jon....we're similar you and I...and I trust you....with things" I mumble, not quite sure how to gets the words to my tongue. He smiles at me, a blush starting to show on both our faces. 

"You trust me then?" He asks, slowly going back to continue his shoveling. 

"I always have" I admit, the blush on my cheeks deepening. I hear him stop and I stop as well, daring to look up into his chocolate eyes and see him approach me. 

"I trust you too" He mumbles awkwardly, his cheeks turned bright red. I smile and bite my bottom lip, trying to get my blushing to stop. 

"Is there something you wish to tell me?" I ask boldly, finding the courage to look up into his eyes. He freezes, I can sense the nervousness, him not knowing what to say, and me, afraid to listen to whatever it might be. 

"I...I" He stutters, trying to find the words. The words I've been desperate to hear, the words that have been whispered between us since we were little. 

"There you are!" 

Me and Jon both jump away from each other, causing the horse to neigh in annoyance. I can feel the blush burning my cheeks as we both turn to face Theon. 

"Did I interrupt something? Were you and Jon finally going to do it?" Theon teases, smirking at the two of us. 

"W-what? No" I mumble, trying to calm myself down. 

"Sure you weren't," Theon says with a snarky wink. 

"Alright, leave them alone," Robb says, walking into the stables to stand alongside Theon. I gave Robb a thankful smile, he was always there when I needed him most. 

"Fine" Theon grumbles and walks out of the stables. Robb looks between the two of us, a knowing smile gracing his lips. 

"Jon, Bran is about to start archery practice, I thought he could use some support," Robb says, using that future lord voice of his. 

"Of course," Jon says and quickly walks out of the stables. 

"You shouldn't torment him," Robb tells me as I go back to work, his arms crossed in a lazy manner. 

"I don't torment him," I argue as Robb walks over to me. 

"Of course you do. He likes you, just seeing you in the dining hall is torture for him" Robb says with an easy smile. 

"Of course he likes me, we're friends, have been since we were little," I tell him, trying to brush off the idea. 

"You know what I mean Emelya, he's growing fond of you" Robb teases, staring at me as I slowly continue to brush the horse. 

"Are you saying I'm leading him on?" I ask.

"No, because I know you feel the same way. I see how you look at him, it's the same look he gives you" 

"So what? Do we get married? The Bastard and the Orphan? No, he deserves better" I mumble sadly, trying not to think about Jon running away to the Night's Watch, running away from me. 

"Better? Emelya you're as good as it gets. You're loving and kind, titles and land don't matter to Jon, you know that" Robb reasons. I stay silent. Robb only sighs and turns to walk away sadly. As if this hurt him. 

"I'm just saying you should take him before someone else does," He says as he walks out of the stables and a few feet away towards where Bran waits with a bow in his hands.

"Maybe he isn't mine to take" I mumble to the horse with a heavy sigh. 

After I finished brushing down the horse, I pull on my fur coat over my ragged shirt and riding pants and quietly sneak out of the stables and past the walls of Winterfell, towards the wolves woods. 

"How could he ever want a Targaryen girl?" I ask myself as I trek through the thicket. My family murdered members of his family once upon a time. I was a fugitive, with no name but Snow, the same as his. But this was different somehow. If I were actually just a bastard this would be so much easier, if my hair wasn't silvery white, if I was a true northerner, we would stand a chance. 

I walk for what feels like hours, getting lost in my thoughts, when I stumble upon whimpering. I freeze in my tracks as I come to the small stream. Across the way was a dire wolf, with an antler sticking out of its side. 

I quickly made my way across the stream and approached the dying creature, seeing a litter of pups by her side. I knelt down beside her and she locked eyes with mine, emitting a small cry of pain before her eyes shut forever. 

"Look! It's a dire wolf!" I hear little Bran say from a little ways away. I quickly look up and see Ned, with Bran, Robb, Theon, and Jon in his tow.

"Emelya, what are you doing out here?" Ned asks, surprise in his tone instead of disapproval.

"I was out for a walk when I heard her" I answer, looking down at the pups. 

"We should put them out of their misery" Ned mumbles, Theon instantly goes for his knife.

"No!" Me and Bran both shout, as I step in front of the pups protectively. 

"Look, my lord, there are five pups...one for each of your children. It's a sign, they were meant to have them" Jon says stepping towards me, picking one up and placing it in Bran's awaiting arms. The pup instantly snuggled into Bran's chest, mouth open searching for food. 

"Alright, but you'll train them yourselves, feed them yourselves and if they die, you'll bury them yourselves," Ned says gruffly, walking off as Robb and Theon gather up the other four pups, but once they were carried away I could still hear whimpering. 

"Jon...look" I mumbled, grabbing his arm and pointing down into a bush where two more pups were huddled next to one another, both white, white as the snow. 

"Looks like their runts, guess there were enough for you two" Theon teases as Jon picks up one by the scruff. I gently pick up the other and cradle it in my arms. 

"Come on, you can ride with me," Jon says offering me his free hand, helping me walk up the trail. I ride on the back of Jon's horse, inspecting my 'runt' of a dire wolf pup, finding out it was female. I peeked over Jon's shoulder and quickly glance his over. Neither of them seemed to be injured, but they were oddly very similar.

"They must have been twins," I tell him, looking back down at the little pup sleeping soundlessly in my arms. 

"That's a bit odd, a dire wolf having seven pups is odd enough but for there to be twins? That's practically unheard of" Jon mumbles, glancing down at the small pup in his lap curiously. 

"It was also unheard of for there to be Dire wolves south of the wall, and here we are," I tell him with a smile, stroking the pup's soft fur. 

"I guess you're right, maybe it's a sign" Jon laughs. 

"You may not believe in signs Jon Snow but I do," I tell him affirmatively. 

"I know you do, and I expect I'm going to hear all your theories on what this sign could mean" He teases. 

"You know me too well" I laugh as we approach the gates of Winterfell. We ride to the center square and Jon gets off the horse first, allowing me to hand him his pup, once he grabs it he offers me a hand down. I take his hand and allow him to help me back to my feet, the little pup in my arms fast asleep. 

"You're sixteen, you should be able to get off a bloody horse by yourself" Theon teases as he rides past. I only roll my eyes. 

"Thanks, Jon," I tell him with an easy smile, turning to walk to the kitchens. 

"Now where do you think you're going? You rode here with me, help me put the horses away" Jon calls, making me stop in my tracks. I turn back to face him. 

"Winter needs to eat first," I tell him, turning back to go to the kitchens. 

"Winter? Really?" Jon teases glancing at the pup warily. 

"Yes, so she'll know what's home" I answer walking back over to him. 

"That's nice," He says giving me an odd look, making me feel uncomfortable.

"Here, give me yours and I'll make sure it gets fed as well," I tell him holding out my hand to take the wolf pup. 

"It's a he....and his name's Ghost" Jon answers, handing me his pup by the scruff of its neck. 

"Ghost? That's a rather handsome name" I say taking the pup in my arm and laying him by Winter. They seem to move closer to one another in my arms, using each other for warmth and I smile down at them. 

"Right well, I best put the horses away" Jon mumbles clearing his throat as he walks off. 

"We'll be in the kitchens!" I call turning and walking back into the kitchens. 

"Hello, Emelya," One of the cooks says with a warm greeting. 

"Hello, do we have any goat's milk?" I asked tilting my head to the pups in my arms. 

"Oh, precious things. Yes, we should have some in the back" She says with a smile and walks towards the kitchen's pantry. I walk around and grab two bowls off the shelf, moving towards the fire and setting them on the floor in front of it. 

"Ah, here we are, it's fresh from this morning," She tells me with a smile, pouring some from the goat's milk into each bowl. 

"Thank you," I tell her with a smile and gently set the pups down in front of the bowls. Each of them eagerly lapping up the milk. I smile as I watch them drink, both looking so similar yet so different. Ghost drank eagerly and fast, Winter, however, was a bit slower, savoring it as if it were her last meal. 

"Glad to see they didn't starve," Jon says from behind us.

"Twins are they?" The cook asks crossing her arms in front of her. 

"We think so, they seem to be anyway, look at them" I mumble watching as Ghost finished his bowl first and then crawled his way over to Winter, laying himself down right next to her. 

"Or they're just very attached to one another" Jon suggests, glancing down at them. 

"Either way they're close" I mumble back, smiling as I watched them snuggle up next to one another once Winter finished. 

They seemed to circle around one another, getting closer and closer with each lap before they were finally content and laid down, their heads on one another's backends. 

"Should we leave em there?" Jon asks glancing at me as the pups close their eyes. 

"Well, they're warm and safe. I don't see why not" I said glancing back at him. He nods. 

"I'll come to check on them later," He says as we start to exit the kitchens. 

"Not to worry, I'll keep an eye on the precious angels," the cook says with a smile as she ushers us out of the kitchen. Jon and I walk out back into the courtyard. 

"Did you get the horses all put away?" I ask pausing, considering if I should go back to the stables or not. 

"I did, which means we could sneak off to the woods" He whispers to me with an eager smile. I turn towards him and grin. 

"I'll meet you out there" I mumble back and head off to my room to grab my sword. I kept my boots laced up along with my riding pants as I headed back down the stairs. Jon had been training me in sword fighting for two years now, I had my own sparring sword, which I kept in my room. 

I started braiding my hair up into a bun in front of my looking glass, quickly grabbing my sparring sword and sneakily making my way down from my room into the woods. I make my way to Jon's and I's special spot, seeing him there already waiting for me. 

"Ready?" He asks twirling his sword in his hands before standing in a defensive position, sword up and ready. I grin and quickly lunge forward with my sword and the battle begins. I was better than that 14-year-old girl I once was when he first started teaching me after I begged him to. 

He was going harder on me than ever before, our swords clashing with the wind. We were an equal match, neither one of us able to get the upper hand. Then we started moving, through the woods and landscape and I started to move to the upper ground. As I stood above him on the hillside, I jumped onto him, something he wasn't expecting. 

He grunted as we both tumbled down the hill until I ended up on top of him, my legs straddling his waist, a triumphant smile on my lips. 

"I win" I smile. He grins and flips us over, so he was pinning me down, both our swords tossed away, forgotten. We were both panting, his warm breath fanning my face, his dark eyes staring into mine. I could feel the blush rise to my cheeks as I noticed how close we were to one another. I could see his blush too as he had the same thought. But neither of us dared to move, opting to stay in place and look into one another's eyes, studying them.

"Please Jon" I whispered, glancing at his lips, begging him to do something. And that's when he did. He moved his lips closer to mine, until they connected, causing a fire to ignite within me. The taste of his cool lips was the only thing keeping me grounded. His hand moved to the back of my head, gripping my hair with his gloved fingers. Only when we started running out of breath did we stop. Even then he only moved away an inch or two. 

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that" Jon whispered, cupping my cheeks with his hands and resting his forehead on mine. 

"And you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to" I breathed, only for him to connect his lips with mine once more. It was fiery and passionate like we would devour one another if given the chance. But we broke away once more. 

"We....we should get back" I whispered in a light voice, my head feeling fuzzing, a smile gracing my lips. He smiled back and got off of me, helping me to my feet. 

"I'd like to do that again" He announces with a sudden air of confidence, grinning at me. 

"Me too" I smile back as he walks over to me. I close my eyes, thinking he'll kiss me again, but he only places a hand on the back of my head and brings my forehead to his lips, leaving a soft, gentle kiss. 

"Later, I promise" he whispers, moving back to pick up his sparring sword, leaving me standing there breathless because Jon Snow always keeps his word.


	2. Chapter 2

I was afraid, my heart pounding so hard I feared it would explode out of my chest. Everywhere I looked there was snow, no trees or rocks, not even a blue sky, only snow. Snow. It was falling gently but I was still uneasy. I looked down, seeing that I was standing in a small circle of burnt grass, barefoot. I was dressed in a light flowing red dress that offered no warmth or protection from the harsh winter snow. Strangely, I wasn't cold. I was hot. 

I jumped as I heard something sizzling close by. I turned around only to find nothing, it continued but I couldn't find the source. Then I froze, my gaze traveling to my left arm, slowly lifting it up to about the level of my chest. Everything seemed to slow down as I began to stare at my arm, and that's when I saw it. A single snowflake drifted down onto my arm, but the moment it touched my arm, it melted, that sizzling sound and steam coming from the place where it once was. After another moment the snowflakes couldn't even reach my skin before turning to mist. That's when I looked up. 

Surrounding me was multiple groups of people. On the right were the Starks, but they were separated into groups. Bran and Rickon in one, Robb and Catelyn in another with Arya and Sansa standing on their own. Neither Ned nor Theon was anywhere nearby. On their right was a cluster of blondes, but standing apart from them was a dwarf man with dirty blond hair. And on my left was a girl with silver hair like my own, with three small dragons behind her and a small group of people. And there standing in front of me was Jon.

Jon stood apart from the small groups of people surrounding me in the circle, but he was older and different somehow. An older Ghost was by his side as well. Jon was dressed in armor, a cape made of black feathers sheltering him from the elements. He had a sword and seemed to be leaning on it, watching me curiously. 

"Choose" they all chanted at once, making me flinch. 

"W-what?" I asked, not sure who to look at, or who to answer to. 

"Choose" they all chant once again as I frantically turn about the circle, Winter suddenly appearing at my side whimpering. 

"Choose" they chant in a louder voice. I turned towards Jon, looking for an answer. 

"Choose" they chant again, all but Jon, who only continues to stare at me with his normally grim expression. Winter continued to whimper, seeming to stare at Ghost, begging to go to him. 

"Choose" 

"Choose, or they will," Jon says calmly, continuing to stare at me. 

"Why?" I ask as the others chant once more, still not understanding why.

"For the future" he answers simply as they chant again, this time they take a step forward, all of them but Jon.

"Fine, then I choose you" I answer, only for another chorus of Choose, everyone taking one step closer. 

"I'm not a choice" he answers with a sad smile. 

"Jon please, don't make me choose another" I beg, about to move towards him, but I couldn't. I couldn't leave my circle of dead grass. I was trapped.

"Jon, help!" I cry out, trying to will my way out of the circle and to him. 

"I'm sorry darling, but I can't," he tells me with almost a loving look as they chant again, advancing further. 

"I-I don't know who to choose" I call, fear racing through me as they obstructed Jon from view. 

"Yes, you do" I hear Jon call. 

"How?!" I call back as the circle gets smaller. 

"You've made it before!" I hear him shout. My heart starts beating harder and faster as they get closer. Winter's whimpering only growing louder. I thought I heard Jon shout something else, but I couldn't make it out. 

I woke up with a gasp, sitting upright suddenly in my bed, seeing Winter whimpering at the door. 

"It was just a dream" I mumble to myself, trying to calm down. Suddenly there was a knock on my door, causing me to jump. 

"Y..yes?" I ask, still feeling shaken by the strange dream. Why would I need to choose? 

"It's Jon...and Ghost, I uh think he wants to see Winter, he's been whimpering all morning," Jon says through the door, causing Winter to start scratching it. She was still a little pup, but both her and Ghost were getting bigger by the day. 

"Right...Just uh, give me a moment" I mumble, shakily getting out of bed and pulling on an old robe, walking to the door, and opening it. 

"Come on in," I say tiredly, Ghost instantly running inside and tackling Winter, I turn and watch them with an empty smile on my lips, hearing Jon enter and close the door. 

"You uh....look tired" Jon mumbles, causing me to turn back around and face him. 

"I look like hell don't I?" I ask with a tired sigh. He only nods, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, you do. Is everything alright?" He asks, concern filling his beautiful dark brown eyes. 

"I uh....just had a very interesting dream" I admit, moving to my trunk in front of the bed and sitting down. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, not daring to move from the door. 

"I doubt that would help, I can barely make any sense of it myself," I say with a tired smile, turning to look at him. He only smiles back, both of us glancing back at the pups playing on my bedroom floor in front of the fire. 

"I'll leave him here then, so you can dress. I doubt I could get him to leave Winter" Jon says awkwardly, moving to open the door. 

"Jon?" I ask softly, making him pause and turn to face me. 

"Yes?" He asks. 

"You....you don't regret it, do you?" I ask nervously, looking down at my hands as the words leave my lips. 

"I don't regret anything" He answers, a bit of confidence returning to his voice. 

"Do you?" He asks me, causing me to look back up into those comforting eyes of his.

"Never" I answer, smiling at him. He smiles back. 

"See you at breakfast," Jon tells me opening up my door and leaving the room. As the pups continue to wrestle on the floor, I pull on my work pants and shirt and lace up my boots, washing my face and brushing my hair in between. I didn't bother braiding my hair today, leaving it in its wavy state. I pulled on my cape of white furs, Sansa had made it for me for my name day the previous year, the day Ned brought me to Winterfell. 

"Alright you two, let's go," I tell the pups, opening up my bedroom door, Ghost, and Winter race down to the dining hall ahead of me. I entered the dining hall, seeing all of the Starks already seated at the table. Ned and Catelyn were seated at the head table, while everyone else was sitting at one of the tables on the left side of the room. 

I smiled as I saw Ghost and Winter eating next to each other under the table by Jon. I walked over and took my place between Jon and Robb, facing Arya and Sansa. 

"Good morning everyone," I say as I take my seat, a plate full of bacon and eggs instantly placed in front of me. 

"Morning" They mumbled through their food. Everyone continued to eat, making idle conversation as they did. Robb and Theon were talking, Arya and Sansa were arguing with one another as usual and Bran and Rickon were whispering and giggling among themselves. Leaving me and Jon to sit next to one another in awkward silence. 

"What's wrong with you too?" Arya asks after a few minutes, making me look up from my meal. 

"What do you mean?" I ask the attention of the table instantly turning to me and Jon. 

"Well normally you and Jon are talking non stop, now you'll hardly look at one another so what gives?" Arya asks as she takes another big bite of ham. I try to suppress the blush rising to my cheeks. 

"There isn't anything wrong with us" I answer back simply with a nervous smile. 

"Did Jon finally stick ya?" Theon calls from Robb's right, causing Robb to elbow him in the side rather roughly. I dared a glance at Jon and saw him glancing at me. 

"Don't be nosy Arya, it's not ladylike. Besides if Jon and Emelya want to be with one another that's their business" Sansa says before taking another dainty bite of her breakfast. 

"I wasn't being nosy" Arya grumbles. 

"Were too" Sansa says in that stubborn tone of hers, meaning her and Arya were about to have at it. 

"I was not!" Arya shouts at Sansa giving her a dirty look.

"Alright! Enough" Ned calls from the head table, silencing the rest of the room. 

"Right, now that you're quiet I have an announcement to make" Ned says with a calm voice.

"The royal family is riding north for Winterfell, they should be here in a week, meaning you all need to be on your best behavior" Ned says as he goes to take a drink of water. 

"Does that mean prince Joffery will be coming too?" Sansa asked, a hopeful look in her eyes. Ned smiles at her. 

"Yes, they will all be guests here" He answers simply before turning to look at me. 

"Emelya, I want to speak with you after breakfast" He tells me with a worrying glance and for good reason. If Robert Baratheon found out I was a Targaryen, he would have me killed and my white hair was a dead give away, even if I am 'kissed by snow'. And if it wasn't my hair he saw, it would be my violet eyes. 

"Of course my lord" I answer turning back to my breakfast, beginning to eat slower. Soon it was just me and Jon and the direwolf pups left in the dining hall. 

"You alright?" Jon asks turning to face me. 

"I suppose" I mumble, finally finishing my breakfast. 

"Emelya" Ned calls from the hallway.

"We'll talk later" Jon whispers to me before getting up himself, both Ghost and Winter following him out of the room. I get up as well and walk over towards Ned, following him silently into Winterfell's crypt. 

"Do you know why I brought you down here?" Ned asks, breaking the silence as we approach Lyanna's tomb.

"I'm assuming it has to do with the royal family coming to visit" I answer, looking up at Lyanna's statue. 

"You won't be safe with the King here, something I think you know" Ned mumbles, looking up at the statue as well. 

"What would you have me do?" I ask quietly, not wanting to disturb her resting place. 

"When they arrive, I want you to stay in the stables and keep your hair covered at all costs, try to stay as far away from them as possible. If you're caught, tell them as little as possible, do you understand?" He asks turning to face me, I do the same. 

"I understand," I say softly. He smiles at me. 

"Good" he answers and turns, walking to the crypt's exit. I stay inside a few minutes more, looking up at Lyanna's statue, quietly ask for her forgiveness under my breath before I turn and leave the crypt myself. 

"Emelya! Will you play chase with me and Shaggydog?" Rickon asks running over to me, the small black wolf running alongside him. 

"You better start running" I tell him with a large smile, making him laugh and take off running across the Winterfell center. I start jogging after him, chasing him through the corridors and up and down the stairs. I laugh as I get close to catching him, turning the corner to see him stopped in front of Robb. 

"Now what are you two doing?" Robb asks smiling down at Rickon as I walk behind him. I instantly pulling Rickon into a hug from behind, making him giggle as I pick him up. 

"I won!" I smile before setting Rickon back on the ground. 

"Not fair, you always win" Rickon laughs with a smile, his cheeks turning a bright red with his laughter.

"Better luck next time," I say. 

"Can we play again?" Rickon asks with a happy smile, practically jumping in place. 

"Maybe later, Emelya is going riding with me and Bran," Robb says, making Rickon turn to face him. 

"Awww, can't she do that later?" Rickon begs.

"When I get back we can play again" I reason with Rickon, making him turn back to face me. 

"Alright, promise?" He asks holding out his pinky to me. I smile and bend down, linking his pinky with mine.

"Promise," I tell him back with a smile, right as he runs off with Shaggydog at his heels. 

"You're good with him," Robb tells me as I stand back upright. 

"He's a nice boy, and fast," I say, making Robb laugh. 

"Made you tired did he?" Robb teases, making me laugh.

"Or was it Jon?" Robb asks, making my laughter stop. 

"You know we haven't" I mumble. Robb only smiles softly at me. 

"I know, but you've kissed haven't you?" Robb asks, making me give him a strange look. 

"Jon was asking how to kiss properly last week, I'm guessing he wanted to know for you" Robb teases, making me blush. 

"Yes...we have" I answer back, feeling embarrassed. 

"Good, it was only a matter of time," Robb tells me with a smile, offering me his arm. 

"Allow me to escort you to the stables, my lady?" Robb asks. I smile as I take his arm, rolling my eyes. 

"Come on Robb, you know I'm not a lady" I answer as we begin walking back down the stairs towards the stables. 

"Of course you are! You're one of us" He answers as we continue on. 

We meet Bran at the stables and saddle up the horses, Robb giving me a lift up much to my protest. We ride a little way into the woods before we reach a clearing with a stump in the center. 

"What are we doing here?" I ask as Robb gets down from his horse. 

"We, are going to teach Bran how to shoot properly" Robb answers, holding up a bow and sheath of arrows. I get down from the horse, as does Bran and we walk over to Robb. 

"Emelya, care to show him how it's done?" Robb asks, offering the bow and sheath up to me, which I gladly take. 

"She can shoot?" Bran asks as I take a few steps forward, pulling on the sheath and grabbing an arrow. 

"Indeed she can, and she's going to help you learn as well," Robb says from behind me as I knock the arrow and pull back the bowstring. I let it loose instantly, the arrow hitting the center of the stump. 

"The trick is not to over think it" I explain "Look at what you want to hit, and just let go" 

I walk back over to Bran and hand him the bow along with the sheath of arrows. He takes them from my hands nervously. He pulls on the sheath and takes a few steps forward, grabbing an arrow and putting in on the bow. He pulls back and releases, the arrow falling short and hitting the ground in front of the stump. 

"Not bad," Robb says in encouragement, as Bran loads another arrow. Robb and I stand silently, watching Bran practice, each of us seeming to will the arrow to hit its mark. Finally, after using up almost all the arrows in the sheath, Bran hit's the middle of the stump. 

"I did it," Bran says with a sigh. He walks back over to me and Robb with a relieved smile. 

"Great job Bran," I tell him as he hands me the bow. 

"Now you can go pick up your arrows," Robb tells him with a smile. 

"Oh alright" Bran mumbles, walking over to the ground full of arrows and begins picking them up. 

"Do you remember the first time you shot a bow?" Robb asks, giving me a knowing smile. 

"I do, I was Bran's age I think. I stole an arrow and bow from the armory and snuck out here to practice. But of course, I wasn't as sneaking as I thought I was, and you followed me out here" I say with a smile, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to keep warm. 

"Yes, I followed you out here because I thought you were going to hurt yourself. But then I saw you practicing and you seemed to be a natural at it. So I thought that I would rather help you get better at it than get you in trouble with father" Robb recalls, watching Bran thoughtfully. 

"You thought about all of that when you were 9?" I asked with a laugh. 

"Hey! I wanted to help you" Robb says in a playful defensive tone. 

"And you did, thank you" I answer with a smile. He smiles back.

"Alright, I'm finished," Bran says walking back with the sheath full of arrows. 

"We better head back," I say walking towards my horse, Bran follows suit. 

"Can we come back?" Bran asks as Robb climbs onto his horse, me and Bran doing the same. 

"I don't see why not" Robb answers and we make the trek back to Winterfell. I couldn't help the nerves I felt as we rode back, my mind wandering from my dream to the royal family riding this way. 

As we rode back through the gates, Winterfell felt different. It was no longer my sanctuary, a place I thought I'd call home for the rest of my life. Somehow in that short ride, it changed, I changed. 

The days leading up to the King's arrival seemed to fly by. Everyone was preparing to host the King, his family and his large train of people said to be riding with him. Sansa was radiating excitement, talking to me about Joffery and speculating on how handsome he was. Arya seemed as if she could careless, but I would catch her now and then talking to Nymeria about what the knights might be like. I, however, seemed to be the only one less than thrilled about their impending arrival. So I went for a walk to clear my head. 

Me, Ghost and Winter were walking along the path, to our training spot. They were inseparable, so Jon and I would take turns watching over them and training them. Occasionally we would do it together, but neither of us seemed to be able to find the time to. We continued walking, a raven on my shoulder when we approached the clearing. 

"Alright you two, do you remember what we were working on yesterday?" I asked pulling out a scroll from my pocket and handing it to the raven. Both wolves seeming to already know, they walked to the opposite side of the clearing and sat down, waiting. 

"I'll take that as a yes" I mumble and move my shoulder up, sending the raven up into the air. It circles around the clearing before landing a few feet in front of both of the wolves. 

"Ghost, you first," I say. I watch as Ghost walks over to the raven and gently grabs the large scroll from the raven's leg and carrying it back towards where Winter was, seeming to take care to be quiet in front of the raven. 

"Good boy Ghost" I praise, the raven flying back to my shoulder as I pulled out another large scroll of paper. 

"Alright Winter, your turn," I say, repeating the process from before. We continue a few more times until it seems perfect. 

"Good job, both of you" I praise, bending down as they walk over to me, giving them some leftover meat from the night before. I stand back up and shake the raven off of my shoulder, sending it back to Winterfell. I begin walking towards the Godswood, Winter, and Ghost following close behind me as I walk. 

After a short walk, we approach the small pool of water. I sit at the base of the tree, the wolves sitting by the water. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes, exhaling slowly, trying to calm my racing heart. I stared into the pool of water, hoping it would give me some comfort to take with me for the days to come. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't think anyone else would be here" 

I look up and see Catelyn walking over towards me. Both wolves seem to wake up simultaneously, staring at Catelyn as she walked closer, looking like they were ready to pounce on her if given the chance. 

"I'm sorry my lady, I can leave if you wish," I said about to get up.

"Oh please, there's no need. And I'd enjoy the company" she says with an easy smile, taking a seat next to me. 

"Strange, I don't think I've ever seen you here before" Catelyn mumbles, giving me a curious glance. 

"I don't come very often, I know you like to come here so I try to give you your space" I admit calmly. 

"That's very kind of you," Catelyn says with a gracious smile, nerves lacing her voice. 

"Is everything alright my lady?" I ask, seeing the worry in her eyes. 

"I fear the King is coming to take my Ned away from me" she admits, almost immediately the tension leaving her face. 

"Why would he do that?" I ask. 

"His hand died recently...why else would he ride all that way to come here?" Catelyn says, looking down at her hands, rubbing them together absently, almost mindless. 

"I'm sorry" I whisper, not thinking of anything else I could say to bring her comfort. If the hand did die, and Robert is riding all this way then her speculations must be true. She stays quiet, continuing to stare into the pool of water. I do the same. We stay like that for who knows how long, each of us searching for comfort and security, hoping to wake up from this nightmare we've found ourselves in.

"I'll leave you to it" I mumble, getting up and walking away, leaving Catelyn to her prayers. Ghost and Winter follow me as I walk back towards Winterfell. 

"Ah, there you lot are" 

I turn around and see Jon walking over to me and the pups. 

"What are you doing out here?" I ask walking over towards him. 

"Looking for you and the wolves" he answers, meeting me halfway. It was then I realized how much taller he was, the beard and defined jaw. It was like he changed somehow right before my eyes. 

"Well, you found us," I say with a nervous smile. 

"We...never got a chance to talk, about breakfast the other day" Jon whispers. 

"Oh right....well, I'll be staying in the stables while the Baratheons are here, it's safer that way," I say giving my brief explanation. 

"Makes sense, so I suppose I won't see you at the royal feast then?" Jon teases. 

"I'm afraid not" I answer back, unable to help my growing smile. 

"I'll sneak you some food," He says taking a step towards me. 

"And some ale?" I ask, closing the gap between us, both of us smiling and staring into one another's eyes. 

"Of course, whatever the lady wants," he says softly, leaning towards me. 

"If you think I'm anything like a lady than you know nothing Jon Snow" I tease back, leaning into him with a smile, our lips connecting for the second time in two weeks.

And for that brief, fleeting moment, everything was perfect. 

And then they arrived.


	3. Chapter 3

I was shaking with nerves, the royal family was spotted a few hours outside of Winterfell, meaning that they would be here before nightfall. One of the stable hands had given me a torn brown hooded cloak to wear while the royal family was there. I was wearing it currently, just in case they showed up earlier than planned. 

"Are you excited to see what the prince looks like?" Sansa asked for what must have been the millionth time in 2 days. I was in her room, brushing and braiding her hair for the prince's impending arrival. 

"I suppose" I mumble, continuing to focus on her braid. Ned was supposed to tell the others that I would be staying in the stables to make room for the guests and that I wasn't to be bothered. Sansa, however, was adamant about having a beautiful braid like mine for when the prince arrived and took me from my hiding spot in the stables to her chambers. I couldn't bring myself to snap at her or deny her this simple request, she was like a sister to me after all. 

"Come on, he's a prince! If we got married I'd be a princess! And I'd become queen" Sansa squealed in delight. I couldn't help but smile at her innocence, her ignorance of the world. I was glad to know she wasn't ambitious, at least not yet. 

"You'd make a wonderful queen," I say with a smile, giving in to her hopes. 

"You really think so?" She asks, a grin creeping up to her lips. 

"Of course! You're sweet, fair and kind. You'd rule justly. The seven kingdoms would be lucky to have you as their queen" I tell her with a smile of encouragement. 

"I think you'd make a good queen too, you put everyone else first, that's an important thing to have," Sansa says, turning to look up at me with her sweet smile. I lean down and give her a quick hug, making her laugh. 

"Alright now hold still, I'm almost done," I tell her, reaching back for her hair as she turns back around. As I finish braiding her hair she goes on to tell me what she thinks life in King's Landing would be like and how she wants to go see it, I tell her I'm sure she will someday. 

"Alright, I'm going to go down to the stables and check on Winter," I tell Sansa as I pull on my hood and move toward the door. 

"Will I see you at the feast?" She asks hopefully. 

"Sadly I don't think so," I tell her with a sad smile. Her smile fades a bit and she nods. 

"But I'll come by later tonight, and you can tell me all about Prince Joffery," I tell her with a playful wink, making her giggle and grin as I leave. 

I quickly walk over to the stables, feeling paranoid as I did so. It felt like someone was watching my every move, tracking me almost. I walked into the stables with my head down, trying to force myself to relax. 

"What are you doing here?!" 

I quickly look up and see the older boys getting groomed by one of the guards. All three of them were shirtless, bits and chunks of their hair littering the stable grounds. Theon was currently sitting on the stool getting shaved, while Jon and Robb just stared at me curiously. I had to will myself to not let my eyes wander down, to their chests. 

"I-I...I was looking for Winter" I say nervously gesturing to the two wolves playing with one another on the stable grounds, Grey Wind only watched them, uninterested. 

"Doesn't explain why you're lurking about, in a dress and ratty hood no less?" Robb said crossing his arms in front of him. 

"Why does it matter that I'm wearing a dress?" I ask, crossing my own arms in front of me, trying to redirect the conversation. 

"You never wear dresses, not even for your own name day, I can't remember the last time I've seen you in one" Robb says with a smirk, thinking he caught me. 

"Well, the King of the Seven Kingdoms is coming today in case you haven't noticed. I'm sure that's why you lot are getting all gussied up too" I argue. 

"You're right, but still it's strange" Robb admits, uncrossing his arms and walking over to a wash basin by the door. 

"I kinda like you in a dress," Theon tells me giving me a wink, making me roll my eyes. Once Theon is finished getting shaved he walks towards the basin as Robb is pulling on his shirt. Jon takes a seat on the stool next. 

"Well, I think you look nice," Jon tells me with a warm smile. I can't help but smile at the simple compliment, a blush rising to my cheeks. 

"Thanks, I'm sure you will too," I tell him awkwardly, walking over to Winter and Ghost and crouching down beside them, both of them nuzzling against me. 

"We'll see you later Jon" Robb calls, practically dragging Theon out of the stables. The man finishes grooming Jon and gets up and leaves without a word. I quickly glance up from under my hood and look at Jon. He was muscular, handsome, turning into a man right before my eyes. 

"Why are you staring at me?" Jon says, glancing down at me with a sheepish smile, making me blush. 

"I'm not staring" I mumble, looking back down at the wolves, moving my hands over their soft fur. I hear him move over to the basin, the splashing of watering filling the silence of the stables. 

"How are you doing?" Jon asks, making me look up, seeing him now fully clothed and walking to the stool to take a seat by me.

"Aside from shaking with nerves, I'm okay" I mumble, my voice sounding shaky and unsure. 

"You'll be alright," he says trying to give me a reassuring smile, but I could tell he was nervous too. We stay like that, just looking at one another for comfort before he breaks the silence. 

"Oh! I almost forgot, I uh, had something made for you" He mumbles, a blush rising to his cheeks as he pulls something out of his pocket. I watch as he holds up a necklace, with a steel wolf pendant hanging from the bottom. It was simple and yet it was beautiful, the wolf of Winterfell. 

"It's beautiful," I say with a smile as he stands up and walks over to me. I stand up in front of him and pull down my hood, turning my back to face him. I feel him gently place the wolf around my neck and clasp it in the back as I pull my hair away from the back of my neck. Once he's finished I turn to face him with a smile. 

"Thank you, Jon," I tell him earnestly, wrapping my hand around the cool metal. 

"I wanted you to have something to remind you of this place, just in case" he explains, both of us looking down at the small metal wolf. 

"That's very kind of you" I mumble, looking up to meet his eyes, seeing him do the same. I muster up my courage and slowly lean towards him, I see him do the same before I close my eyes, our lips meeting a moment later. My hands move slowly up and around his neck, his hands snaking down and moving around my waist, holding me tightly against him. 

Suddenly a trumpet sounds, signaling the arrival of the royal family. We break away as it starts up again. 

"That's my cue" I whisper with a smile, our lips only centimeters away. I could feel his warm breath on my face and wished I didn't have to leave his side. 

He smiles as well, slowly releasing me from his comforting hold. 

"Will I see you tonight?" He asks as my arms leave his neck. 

"Of course, you promised me food from the feast" I smile. The trumpet blares once more. Jon quickly leans down and gives me a quick kiss. 

"Be safe" He whispers as I pull up my hood and turn to the wolves, signaling them to get up. 

"I always am," I say with a smile and quickly hurry out the back of the stables, the wolves trotting right behind me as I escape into the woods until nightfall. 

Just outside the gates of Winterfell, I spot Arya with a practice sword in hand, swinging away at a tree. 

"What are you doing out here?! The royal family will be here within the hour" I call walking over to Arya and her wolf Nymeria who sits on the side, watching curiously. 

"I was just practicing" Arya grumbles, continuing to fight the tree. 

"Well if you're going to practice you might as well have a proper opponent" I mumble walking over to the side and grabbing the other sparring sword, left here by one of the boys no doubt. 

"You can sword fight?" Arya asks, confusion all over her face. 

"Every girl should know how to wield a sword," I tell him, testing the weight in my hands and doing a few practice swings. Finally, I turn to face her. 

"Sword at the ready," I tell her, getting into my fighting stance, she looks at me and does a somewhat poor imitation of my stance. Then we begin. It's a quick fight, I knock her off balance almost instantly. I try to teach her about keeping a firm stance so as not to lose your balance, but she was more interested in how to swing the sword. 

We stayed at it for 30 or 40 minutes, me trying to teach her about balance and agility and her continuing to swing the sword like an ax. We were interrupted when the trumpets sounded once more. 

"I better be off" I mumble, tossing the sword away and readjusting my hood, whistling to the wolves who were laying in the shade of the tree. They got up slowly and stretched before trotting over to me and Arya, Nymeria already at her side, Ghost and Winter moving to my side. 

"Wait! Will you teach me more?" Arya calls as I begin walking away. 

"I will, but later. Now go! You're already late!" I shout to her as I quickly run into the woods, Ghost, and Winter running by my side. I run deep into the Wolfswood until I feel safe until I feel alone. 

The wolves and I wander around the Wolfswood, they go off and hunt from time to time, while I lean against a tree and try to sleep the day away. 

I was back, standing in a circle of burnt grass, surrounded by snow. But there was only Jon, no Starks or other people I didn't recognize, just him. I looked down, seeing I was dressed differently than last time. I was wearing a heavy, thick, long-sleeved white dress lined with fur, the white fur cape Sansa made for me draped across my shoulders, my white hair pulled back into a single, long braid. My wolf pendant hung from my neck and my feet were covered in knee-high white boots. 

How did I not fade into the snow before his very eyes? 

"You look beautiful" He calls to me, dressed the same as before. He wore his black feathered cloak, armor, his hair a bit longer and his stubble a bit fuller. The wolves were nowhere to be seen, it was just us. 

"I still don't understand" I admit to him as he walks closer. 

"I know, I was a bit confused myself. But you'll understand, in time" he explains, stopping two feet away from my circle of burnt grass. 

"Are you real?" I ask hesitantly, making him laugh. 

"Yes, I'm real," He tells me with a smile, looking at me with love clearly written in his eyes. 

"But...are....are you my Jon?" I ask nervously, not completely sure what this was. 

"I am, always," He tells me, giving me a sad, longing smile. 

"But...but you can't be....my Jon is only 17....you must be in your 20's" I mumble, looking him over. 

"I'm still your Jon, I'm still the man who gave you that," He tells me, pointing to the wolf on my neck. 

"But....how?" I ask, still confused on how this could be possible. 

"We're bonded, you and I. By fate or the gods, I don't know, but we are. I am yours and you are mine" he tells me, stepping closer to me. I smile, moving my gaze to the ground.

"You've grown bold" I mumble, slowly looking back up to meet his eyes. 

"I have, time does that to you" he admits. 

"You at least seem healthy....and safe I hope," I tell him, trying to move closer, but I was still trapped. 

"Same goes for you, you look like a princess," He says looking me over. 

"Strange isn't it....last time I was dressed as a Targaryen princess, now I look like the princess of Winterfell" I mumble with a laugh. 

"A Queen you mean," He tells me with a sad look, making me all the more confused. 

"A Queen? Me? You must be mistaken" I laugh trying to ease the pained look on his face. But his expression remains dark. 

"Believe me, I wish I were," He says quietly. 

"I still don't understand what it is you're saying," I say trying to get an answer out of him. 

"You will" He whispers and begins to turn away. 

"Wait...where are you going?!" I call as he begins to walk away.

"Back" He answers and continues to walk. 

"Back where?!" I call, but he doesn't answer, he only continues to walk away. Suddenly everything starts to fade, I try to focus on him but he soon fades away too. Everything is gone.

I jump when I wake up, panting, my heart racing from the strange dream. How could that be my Jon? How could he not just be a fiction from my dreams? Maybe I was going mad like my father had. The Mad King they called him, maybe I was turning into his mad daughter. 

Eventually, I got myself up from the base of the tree and stretched my legs, wiping the sleep away from my eyes. I looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath as I look at the orange hues from the clouds from the setting sun. 

"It's probably time for the feast" I mumble to myself, looking around for the wolves, but they are nowhere in sight. 

"Winter? Ghost?!" I call, picking up my grey dress skirts as I spin around, peering into the darkened woods for the white wolves. There was no reply. That's when I smelled it, the roasting meats and sweet cakes. They had probably already made their way towards the feast. My stomach growls as the smell continues to waft through the air. 

"Alright Jon, you better have gotten me food" I grumble as I begin my trek back to Winterfell. I am extra careful of my hood, making sure it covers my hair in entirety and as I get closer, that my eyes remain down. White hair can be explained as kissed by snow, but purple eyes, that's a definitive mark of the Targaryens. 

"Well if it isn't the princess of Winterfell" 

I feel my breath catch in my throat at that phrase and his voice. So much like the voice from my dreams, I thought I was still in one. 

"Why aren't you at the feast?" I ask as I walk over to him, seeing the wolves playing with one another at his side. 

"I promised someone I'd bring them supper," he tells me with a smile, pulling out a small plate of food from behind his back. I break out into a smile as I take the warm plate into my hands, my stomach growling from the foods close proximity. 

"Thank you," I tell him as I take the food and sit on the bench outside of the great hall. He takes a seat next to me. 

"So how is it in there?" I ask as I begin to eat. 

"Oh you know, a bunch of drunk knights trying to prove themselves and the King is no better" Jon explains, telling me all about the fat drunk king of Westeros. 

We spend most of the evening on that bench, laughing and talking as we watch the wolves play with one another. Somewhere towards the end, we end up close to one another. His lips dance with mine. I could taste the sweet wine on his lips and swore I could feel myself getting drunk off of it. Who knows how long we stayed like that, arms wrapped around each other as our lips explored one another's. 

I felt my hood fall as Jon wrapped his fingers in my hair, tugging on it gently as my arms wrap around his neck, my hands moving to his curly, raven black hair. Each of us desperate to pull the other closer. 

"I hope I'm not interrupting" 

Jon and I instantly jump away from one another, both of us flushed and panting as we turn and look upon Tyrion Lannister with a cup in his hand, giving us a knowing smile. We stay frozen, neither one of us quite sure what to say. But the wolves immediately stop their playing and move towards us protectively. Each of them snarls and Ghost lunges forward, knocking Tyrion to his back as Ghost stood over him. 

"Ghost! That's enough" Jon calls, causing Ghost to slowly back away from Tyrion and move back towards us, standing in front of us and Winter in a protective manner. 

"That....that was actually rather terrifying. I think I might have pissed myself" Tyrion mumbles as he gets himself back to his feet. The poor dwarfed man leans down to retrieve his spilled cup. 

"Sorry M'lord, they can be a bit protective at times," I say apologetically, frantically trying to pull myself together. 

"That's quite alright child, although I wish they hadn't spilled my wine" he mumbles looking at his empty cup longingly. 

"You, Ned Stark's Bastard, would you be so kind as to get me some more wine? I would ask the lady here but something tells me she doesn't want to be seen" Tyrion says eyeing me curiously. Its then I realize that my hair is exposed, and he is looking at my eyes with fascination. 

I quickly pull up my hood as I feel Jon turn and look at me. I give him a reassuring nod as he leaves for the wine. Once Jon is gone Tyrion approaches me. 

"You must try to be more careful if the wrong person saw you it would mean your life," he tells me with a concerned tone. 

"Are you implying that you are not the wrong person M'lord?" I asked crossing my arms over myself, trying to shield myself from the cold. 

"No, fortunately. But were it my sister or the King, I'm afraid I could not say the same" He explains. I remain silent. 

"He seems nice, he must be very much in love with you," Tyrion says trying to keep up the conversation. 

"I'm not quite sure, to be honest" I admit, for some reason trusting the man. 

"He seems a bit pricklish about his title, he should wear it like a badge of honor. Always remember what you are, because the rest of the world will never let you forget" He proceeds to explain to me. 

"That's a very wise sentiment, but I'm afraid the same could not be applied to me," I tell him with a sad smile. 

"Ah yes, well at least you'll have him," He tells him with a smile as we watch Jon walk out of the building with two cups of wine in hand. He walks over and hands one to both me and Tyrion. 

"Ah! thank you" He says taking an eager sip from the cup. I whisper my thanks and do the same, hoping it would help warm me up somehow. 

"Right, well I best leave you two alone," He says before wandering off towards the feast. 

"He's a strange little man, but kind" I mumble before I swallow the rest of the sweet wine. 

"Is he going to say anything?" Jon asks me, looking at me concerned. 

"I don't think he will, but we should probably go," I say grabbing his hand in mine and leading him to Winterfell castle. 

"Where are we going?" he asks as we walk, the wolves choosing to remain outside. 

"To your chambers, I'm freezing" I admit as I tug him inside, through the lower corridors until we reach his chambers. I quickly open the door, pulling Jon inside with me. He shuts the door behind him and I immediately connected my lips to his, pinning him against the wooden door. 

He seems shocked at my sudden actions, but he snaps out of it and starts moving his lips against mine. His hands instantly move to the back of my hand, pushing the hood down and gently tugging on my white hair. My hands move up to his chest, pulling on his shirt, wanting it off. 

Our lips separate for just a moment as he starts to pull off his shirt.

"What are we doing?" He asks in a quick pant, my lips meeting his once again. I didn't want to be away from him, I needed him closer, I needed him to ignite the fire within me once more. I broke away to unbutton my brown hooded cape, Jon only moving after me as I stepped backward. I could see the lust in his eyes and I'm sure my eyes mirrored his. 

"Make love to me Jon Snow" I whispered once my cape hit the floor. Jon took a step forward and cupped my cheeks in his hands, pulling my lips back up to meet his. I couldn't help but smile during the kiss, at the feeling of his soft lips on mine. I placed my hands on his bare chest, moving them down, feeling his toned stomach under my fingers. 

Our kiss broke once more as he started untying the front of my dress. We both looked down as he untied my laces, causing the dress to pool at my feet, revealing my under things. I watch as his hungry gaze traveled over my body.

"You are absolutely gorgeous" He whispers as he takes in my appearance, making me blush and shiver under his penetrating gaze. Our lips lock once more, I feel him bend down, his hands cupping my ass and lifting me up. My arms and legs instantly wrap around him as he carries me over to the bed. He sits down on the edge and allows me to sit on his lap, facing him, keeping our lips connected. I quickly pull off my top and resume the kiss. I shiver as I feel his cold hands wander over my chest. 

I moan as I feel him grab my breasts, his cold hands wander over my body and I get lost in the feeling. 

"Please Jon" I beg as his lips move from my lips to my neck. I moan as his lips replace his hands on my breasts. He was my drug, he was mine. He pulls away from my chest and looks up at me as my hands wander through his hair, pulling at it lightly, making his eyes close in pleasure. 

"Are you sure about this?" he asks softly, opening his eyes to look at me. 

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life" I whisper back, looking at him longingly. But I couldn't stop my shivers. I was so cold, I needed to get warm. 

"You're freezing" he whispers, holding my shivering body, trying to bring me closer to him. 

"Then maybe you should warm me up" I tease moving my lips back to his. We continue to kiss but we stop as my lips start to shake from the shivering. My body soon grows cold, numb. I can't feel anything.

"J-Jon..." I mumble before I feel myself fall, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. There was nothing. I was nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

Although he would never admit it, Jon was terrified. After Emylea collapsed into his arms he quickly got them both dressed before carrying her to maester Luwin. The feast was well underway so he had to send little Rickon inside to get the maester and tell his father what was happening. 

The maester instructed Jon to carry her to her chambers and get a fire started while he grabbed his supplies. Jon quickly did as he was told, carrying her up to her chambers and tucking her cold form into bed while he got a fire started. He stayed by her side while the maester examined her and held his breath once he finished. 

"Well? Is she gonna be alright?" Jon asked, unable to mask the concern from his voice. 

"We can only hope for the best" maester Luwin said with a sigh. 

"So what's wrong with her?" Jon asked, trying to calm his racing heart. 

"A mild case of hypothermia. Her body is no longer capable of withstanding this northern cold. When she regains her strength, she will need to ride south, where it's warmer" the maester explained getting up from the stool by her bedside. 

Jon still wasn't able to process the words he heard once the maester had left. How could this be? She's lived in the north all her life, shouldn't her body be used to the cold by now? But then Jon remembered who she was. She was a Targaryen princess, she was a dragon, she was fire and fire couldn't survive in the winter, not for long. 

Both of the wolves were in her chamber with him. Winter was on her bed, her head facing the sleeping girl. Winter was whimpering, she seemed almost pained at seeing Emylea in such a state. Jon felt the same. Ghost laid at his feet as if trying to comfort Jon in his distressed state. But Jon only sat there and watched Emylea's chest move up and down. Even in her sickened state, she was still so beautiful. Her snow-kissed hair and pale skin. 

Although her eyes were closed he could still picture those beautiful dark purple eyes of hers. How they would light up whenever she smiled. He could see her smile and still taste her lips on his. How had Jon fallen for her so suddenly, so fast? And now she was going to have to leave. Lord Stark came during the night to ask about her condition. Jon told him what the maester told him and Lord Stark could only sigh at his words. 

"I'll need to talk to Robert and make traveling arrangements, hopefully, he'll be feeling merciful enough to let her come with me and the girls to King's Landing" Lord Stark mumbled trying to figure out how he would convince his oldest friend to allow a Targaryen under his roof. 

"So you'll take her with you then? She'll ride south?" Jon asked, unable to keep the sadness out of his voice. 

Eddrd looked at Jon and could see the love he felt for the girl. He could see it in his eyes and he was sure that Emylea felt the same about him. He knew that this would break both their hearts, but it had to be done. For Jon's sake as well as hers.

"Yes, once her strength has returned, she will ride south for King's Landing," Lord Stark said with a sigh as he turned to leave. Jon could feel something clawing at his heart at his father's words. Emylea would ride South, and Jon would ride North, to the wall. He had already spoken to his Uncle Benjen about it at the feast and it sounded like he would be able to go if he so desired. He was considering it, trying to justify the decision by telling himself that Emylea deserved more than he could give her. 

If he was a true Stark, wasn't a bastard even, it would be better. She was a princess, she deserved jewels and silk gowns, things he couldn't give her. He wanted to give her the world, but in order to do that, he would have to let her go. And the only way to do that was to leave. He knew that she wouldn't ride south, not when he would still be here in Winterfell.

"Hey, how's she doing?" 

Jon turned and watched as Robb walked into the room, his face sad and full of worry.

"She's still sleeping, the maester isn't sure if she'll wake," Jon said, his voice shaking from the emotion he was trying to hold back. Robb could sense it, he walked over to his half-brother and placed a hand on his shoulder. Both men stood and hugged one another, Jon doing his best not to break down right there, but he couldn't help the tear that escaped his eye. 

"She's going to be fine Jon, you'll see. She's a fighter, she'll make it through this" Robb told him, trying to be reassuring. Robb had to remain strong, even though he was as scared as Jon was. Robb knew they were in love, but he couldn't help the feelings that Emylea had stirred in him. She was his just as much as Jon was her's. Robb knew he had no chance, but he still cared and worried over her like he did. 

"She'll have to ride South Robb, she's going to have to leave," Jon said trying to pull himself back together. He glanced down at the beautiful girl who laid before him, praying in his mind to the old gods, begging them to let her live, promising them anything if they did. 

"I'm sorry Jon, I know how much you love her" Robb whispered, placing a hand on Jon's shoulder, trying to be comforting. 

"I should have told her" Jon mumbles to himself, thinking back to earlier that night. He had meant to tell her, he meant to pour out his heart to her last night, but it slipped his mind. 

"You still can, you'll have your chance, just wait and see," Robb tells him with a reassuring smile, turning to exit the room. 

"Thanks, Robb," Jon tells him as he takes his seat once more on the stool.

As Robb leaves, Jon resumes his watch, making sure her chest continues to move up and down in a steady rhythm. Jon wondered if this is how she felt when he got sick when he was ten when everyone was sure he was as good as dead, did she stand watch as he is now? Did she wait at his bedside for him to wake and return?

I was back, but instead of burnt grass, I was standing in the snow. I was trapped, the snow piled high and holding my waist firmly in place, only my arms were free. I was freezing, the snow no longer evaporated at my touch. It smoothered me. The cold air flowed endlessly through my lungs, my breath was no longer visible, I was no longer warm. 

"Emylea!" 

My eyelids suddenly felt heavy. I couldn't keep them open for much longer but I tried. My blurring vision looked out and saw a man cloaked in black come running towards me. I could feel myself dying, my heart beat getting slower, growing faint and cold. Cold as the snow. My eyes finally shut and I went limp. The cold was too much, I wasn't made for it, I was made for the heat, for fire. I was made to be burned. 

I could barely feel his hands against my skin. I was dancing on the edge of oblivion, about to fall off. 

"Stay with me love" his deep voice panted. His hands felt strange. They were cold like the snow, but different somehow. They were comforting. Oh, how I longed to spend the rest of time in his arms. 

"Open your eyes, come back to me" he begged, holding me close to his chest. But I didn't have the strength. I was tired, weak, I needed to sleep. 

"You can't leave me, you promised me. You promised me you'd live, that you'd be safe" he cried, his icy tears landing on my cheeks. How could I do this to him? How could I just allow myself to be taken? 

"Please...I need you" he said in a broken whisper. The emotion in his voice was thick, I could feel him breaking apart next to me. Somehow I knew, that if I died he would too. In this reality or the next, if I died right here, right now, so would he. 

So I made my choice. I forced my eyes to open and as they did a burst of heat cloaked my body. I was hot again, the snow around me evaporated and the grass under me started to burn. 

I looked up at him, a lazy smile gracing my lips as I saw relief break out over his features. 

"Don't scare me like that" he scolded, a smile on his lips as he held me in his arms. I so desperately wanted to close my eyes, to sleep in his arms, but I knew I couldn't.

"I...have to get back" I mumbled weakly, knowing I had to return if I wanted to live. I had to return to my Jon, to my reality. 

"I love you, maybe I haven't told you yet but I do. Since the day I first laid eyes on you somehow I knew. I knew that we were meant to be. So please, for my sake, try to stay alive because if you die I know I will too" he whispered quickly, cupping my left cheek in his hand lovingly. 

"I love you too Jon" I whispered weakly before I closed my eyes, willing myself to return. 

I woke with a gasp, my lungs burning from the cold air. I was alive. I turned and saw Jon looking at me with his soft chocolate eyes. He seemed shocked. Shocked that I was alive, that I was still breathing and to be honest, so was I. 

"How are you feeling?" Jon asked, moving to sit on my right bedside as I caught my breath. Should I tell him about my dreams? About these visions, I've been having? I look into his eyes and try to will the words off my tongue, but he looks so hurt, so worried and frightened. I couldn't. 

"Cold" I answer, pulling the blankets tighter around me. Jon gives a soft smile and moves his fingers to my forehead, moving a stray piece of white hair out of my eyes. He looks at me fondly, his eyes mirror the Jon from my dreams, so full of love. His fingers move to my left cheek, cupping it slightly, making me lean into his touch. 

"I meant to tell you earlier before everything happened last night but it felt as if I already had," he tells me gently. 

"Tell me what?" I ask, my voice weak from the cold. 

"That I love you," he tells me nervously, a blush creeping up to his cheeks as he says the words I've been dying to hear. 

"I love you too Jon" I whisper back, a smile on my face. He smiles back and leans down, planting a quick kiss on my lips, leaving me wanting more. But when he pulls away I can still see the pain in his eyes. 

"What's wrong?" I ask, moving my left hand up to grab his right hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze and smile. Trying to make the pained look on his face ease. 

"In a few days, you'll be riding south, with Father and the girls," he tells me sadly. 

"W-what? No, no I'm not" I reply, unable to get the absurd idea out of my head. The idea of leaving him. 

"Your body can't handle the northern cold much longer, if you stay here you'll die. You have to ride south" He tells me, trying to make me understand, but I don't. How could I understand that we needed to be separated in order for me to survive? 

"No! I'm staying here in Winterfell, with you and the boys and the wolves" I protest. At the wolves mention both Ghost and Winter lift up their heads to look at me from the foot of my bed. They seem to smile at my waking before putting their heads back down next to one another. 

"You can't," Jon says getting up from his place by my bed. 

"I can and I will! I'm not some noble lady! I'm a Snow, like you. I can do as I want" I snap sitting up, crossing my arms over my nightshirt, both out of anger and from the cold. 

"But you're not a Snow!" He snaps back. As if up until this point he was trying to keep his anger under control but it was at its breaking point. There was only silence, his words lingering in the air. 

"I'm not riding south, not while you're here in the north," I say in defiance, glaring at him for even suggesting such a thing. He looks up and gives me a sharp look, both of us too stubborn to admit defeat. 

"I won't be in Winterfell for much longer. Once you leave, me and Uncle Benjen are riding North for the Wall, I'm taking the Black" He explains to me under his icy stare. I feel my heart break at his words. 

"No! You can't! You know the oath Jon, you'd just cast me aside, you'd throw what we have away?!" I scream. I could feel my body temperature rise the more our conversation continued. He brought out the fire in me, and one day he would get burned because of it.

"I'm doing it for you! If you don't ride south you'll die! And if you died because of me I'd never forgive myself. You can't come to the wall and I can't ride south" He says trying to be reasonable, but we weren't reasonable, we were children. 

"Why not?" I ask, feeling tears start to brim my eyes. 

"Because I'm a bastard! I can't give you anything, I'll never be able to give you anything! This way you can move on, meet some fancy lord or prince" He snaps at me, his cheeks and neck turning red. 

"I don't care, Jon! How many times do I have to tell you that I don't give a damn about titles or fancy castles or any of it! I just want YOU!" I shout, seeing my hands start to turn red. 

"You have to ride south. And I need to ride north." He says with a forced sigh before making for the door. The wolves don't bother to move, content on sleeping by one another, unaware of the impending separation they faced. 

"I HATE YOU JON SNOW!" I screamed in frustration as I watched him walk out of the door. The tears started to blur my vision. He just told me he loved me, and that he was leaving me. Suddenly the words echoed back through my mind. 

"Fine, then I choose you," 

He only gave me a sad smile. 

"I'm not a choice"

It was my dream come to life. Jon would leave me, and I couldn't stop it. I sobbed into my hands, for everything I was loosing. I had lost what little control I had. 

Jon wanted to scream once he left the room, slamming the door shut behind him. How could she be so stubborn? Why couldn't she understand that he was doing this for her own good? That anything he ever did, he did for her. She didn't seem to notice or care that it broke his heart to tell her these things. That it killed him to leave her, but it had to be done. Whatever life they had pictured themselves living together, was gone. Jon sat in the corridor by her chamber door and pulled his knees up to his chest. He tried to will the tears, now falling down his cheeks away. Thinking about how Theon would call him a baby for crying over a woman. But she wasn't just a woman. She was a princess, determined, smart, beautiful. And she was his. But all that was gone now. In the span of a few hours, everything was changed. 

It was still dark, the only light in my room came from the roaring fire. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. The walls were closing in, trapping me. They would smother me if I didn't leave now. Maybe I could escape. I could run away, into the wolves wood and just forget that I was ever here. I could forget this place. I could try to forget him. But I knew in my heart I never could. 

I shakily got out of my bed, doing my best not to disturb the sleeping wolves, but they woke anyway. Ghost quickly walked to my door and placed his paw on the wood. 

"Going to Jon?" I snap at him, still feeling angry. Ghost only stares blankly as I open the door and he escapes into the hall. Winter stays on the bed, watching me with those icy blue eyes of hers, the opposite of her counterpart's red. Fire and Ice. 

Once the door was closed I quickly pulled on my coat of furs, not bothering to properly dress. All of Winterfell was asleep, all except two. I quietly pulled on my shoes and pulled up my fur lined hood. As I turned for the door Winter hopped down from my bed, walking with me. I looked down at her and smiled as I slowly pulled the door open. 

Winter snuck out the door before I could. I quietly tiptoed out of my room and shut the door behind me. I glanced to the left, seeing Jon sitting against the wall with Ghost laying by his side. Winter was making her way over to him. 

"Winter!" I shouted in a whisper, being careful not to wake Jon. She stopped and looked back at me with those icy eyes of her's. I quickly shook my head no, making her ears droop slightly. She continued forward past them, me right behind her as we snuck out of the main building. 

The sun was beginning to rise as we made our way towards the broken tower. It was still so cold. I could feel my body beginning to spasm from my shivers. It grew harder to breathe, but I still needed to leave. It was relieving to be out here, no one else was outside and everything was quiet and still. 

"What in seven hells do you think you're doing?!" 

I instantly felt heat flood into my body at the sound of his voice. My anger returning tenfold.

"Leave me be," I said through gritted teeth, continuing to walk forward. 

"You shouldn't be out here in the cold! Get back inside!" He snaps. I ignore him, hearing his pace quicken to catch up with me. 

"Emylea!" he says, grabbing my arm and pulling me back. I whirl around to face him and try to break free from his grasp. 

"Don't touch me!" I snap, desperate to get his hand off of me. But he maintains a firm grip, his other hand moving to my chin, forcing me to look up into his eyes. Gods those chocolate eyes. They tormented me in a way he only could. 

"It's for your own good," He says calmly, my body beginning to spasm from the cold air. 

"Really? For my good or yours?" I spit feeling tears start to form in the corner of my eyes. His hardened features begin to soften as he looks at me. 

"Please, I don't want to spend what time we have left fighting" he whispers in a broken voice. 

"And who's fault is that?! It's because of you we have so little time!" I snap, not wanting to give in that easy. Nothing could ever be that easy. His features start to harden again, his frustration becoming visible. 

"Gods Emylea do you really think I want to be away from you?!" he shouts, making me freeze. 

"I would die for you, anything in this world I would give to you if I could. I may be a bastard with nothing but at least let me do this for you. At least let me give you your life" he begs, tears in his eyes. Whatever anger he fostered melted away with his words. All that was left was the pain. 

"But you are my life" I whisper, my voice catching in my throat, tears falling freely down my cheeks, the cold freezing them as they did. 

"I can't let you die. Because if you die, I'll die too" He tells me, tears in his eyes. His words make me shiver all the more. The same words I heard from dream Jon's lips. The same words that would echo in my mind for the rest of my life. 

"If the cold doesn't kill me being away from you will," I tell him, trying to change fate. Trying to change the choice that was somehow already made. I wanted to choose him. I needed to. 

"Promise me, promise me you'll stay alive no matter what, that you'll stay safe" he begs, dropping his hand from my arm and moving his right had to cup my left cheek, wiping away my tears, breaking any resolve I had left. 

"I...I promise" I whisper, moving forward to rest my head on his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. He did the same, pulling me into him to hold me in his arms. 

"Promise me, Jon, promise me you won't die at the wall" I plead into his chest, feeling like the defenseless child I was. 

"I promise" He whispers into my hood. We stay like that for another second or two, but it felt more like a small lifetime. Once we let go we'd be different. Once we let go we would no longer be children. 

I started to shiver uncontrollably, making his arms release me. I was too weak to protest as he bent down and lifted me into his arms like I was his bride. 

"You need to get back inside," He tells me as I rest my head against his heart. I close my eyes and focus on the constant drum inside his chest. 

I didn't wake until I felt him lowering me back down onto my fur covered bed. 

"Wait...don't go" I begged in my sleepy state, grabbing onto the front of his shirt to pull him down with me. 

"I'll stay, just let me relight the fire first" he whispers, causing me to let go, allowing him to fully lay me down. 

I barely noticed him removing my shoes and I'm not quite sure how or when he took off my hood. But I was fully aware when he climbed into the bed with me. I smiled as he pulled up the fur blankets and wrapped his left arm around me, pulling me into his side. I moved my head up, back over his heart. 

I was exhausted but I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to be able to remember this moment and I was afraid I would forget. That I would forget him. I wanted to always remember the sound of his heart, the feel of his chest and arms wrapped around me. And when he placed a slow, soft kiss on my forehead I knew I couldn't forget. I could never forget him or this moment. So after he kissed my forehead and started rubbing soothing circles on my back, I gave in. I gave in to sleep and to him. 

She looked so peaceful, Jon thought as he watched the sleeping girl in his arms. Her head was laying on his chest and she was snuggled into his side. Her long white hair covered most of her face but he could still see the small smile on her lips. Whether it was from him or her dream he couldn't be sure, but he hoped it was because of him. Gods how he loved her. She was beautiful and so sweet and kind to everyone. She had a smile that could light up any room and those eyes. Those enchanting dark purple eyes. Jon prayed to the Gods he wouldn't forget this moment. That he wouldn't forget how it felt to hold her, to love her. 

He scooted down a bit and pulled up the furs so everything but her snow-kissed hair was covered. He tried to fight off that sleepy feeling. He wanted to keep watching her, but he couldn't. So Jon finally gave in and closed his eyes.

It felt different. Jon knew this couldn't be a normal dream, it felt too real. He was dressed in all black with a cloak of raven feathers hanging off of his back. All around him was grass. Grassy hills, and fields. It seemed as if it should be unbearably hot, but it felt kinda cool to Jon. That's when he looked down. He was standing in a small, unmelting patch of snow. When Jon looked back up there she was, standing in front of him with the most beautiful smile on her face. 

But she looked different. She looked a bit older, her figure was fuller and her curves more defined. She was still incredibly pale, but she looked like a woman. This wasn't the same girl he fell asleep next to. 

She only smiled at him, as if waiting for him to say something, but he didn't know what to say. 

"Umm, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here, to be honest" He admitted, nervously running his hands through the back of his hair. Making her chuckle. 

"That's alright, you'll understand, in time" She whispered to him with that gorgeous smile of hers. 

"Understand? Understand what?" he asked, more confused than he already was. Making her smile all the more. She was dressed in a long silk red dress that seemed to flow and billow all around her. She looked like the princess that she was. 

"This, why I left you the way that I did. You'll come to understand a lot of things Jon Snow" She told him, almost teasingly. 

"What do you mean you left me? Aren't we still at Winterfell?" He asked, becoming more and more aware how un-dreamlike this was. Her smile turned sad, into one of longing. 

"I suppose we are" she mumbled absentmindedly. She then looked down and started to turn away. 

"Wait! Where are you going?!" Jon asked, moving to go after her but he was trapped, unable to leave his snowy patch. 

"Back! I hope one day you can forgive me for all of this Jon, but I promised one day I'd come back to you and I plan to keep that promise" She called out from over her shoulder, continuing to walk away. 

"What promise? Come back from where?!" He shouted, not understanding a word that fell from her lips. 

"In time!" she shouted back before she disappeared, like a wisp of smoke. 

Jon slowly opened his eyes, looking to his right to see Robb standing over him and sleeping Emylea with a solemn look on his face. 

"What's wrong?" Jon asked in his hoarse morning voice, being careful not to wake the sleeping princess beside him. 

"It's Bran"


	5. Chapter 5

The departure from Winterfell had been delayed a week because of Bran's fall. Lady Catelyn refused to leave the room or allow visitors. The mood of Winterfell had shifted. What used to feel like a joyous home, turned into a castle of shadows. Everything was dreary, even the wolves seemed impacted by the sudden shift.

I prayed to the old gods that Bran would get better, that he would wake, but I was glad for the delay. Jon and I spent every spare second we could with one another. We had even taken to sharing a bed every night, but only for sleep. Though we were very madly in love with one another, which was obvious to all who saw us interact, we weren't quite ready to cross that bridge. Besides, I was content with sleeping on his chest, feeling his heartbeat underneath me. But there was a sense of urgency and pressure to do more. Time was running thin. 

Once Jon left for the wall and took his vows, we would never be allowed to share a bed. And once I left for the south, for King's Landing there was a chance we would never see one another. I would be pawned off to some lord or that. It seemed that if we ever were going to do such things, it would be now. But we were still just children. Neither one of us was ready to take that large step forward. 

Winter and Ghost seemed to be aware of their impending separation. They refused to leave each other alone, doing everything together, sleeping, eating, hunting. Through all of it, they never left their companion's side. They were bonded to one another, as anyone could see. I got asked frequently how I could tell them apart because they were so alike they seemed to be a single wolf. But for me, and Jon I suspected, it was easy to tell. It was their eyes. Ghost had red eyes, like fire or burning embers while Winter's eyes were blue as ice. One look and you could tell which wolf was approaching. It hurt to see the two together sometimes. They looked so happy being with one another. They didn't even bother to play with their other siblings, just each other, like they were all they had in the world. It pained me to think of the day when they'd leave each other. I tried my best not to think about it but the thought remained. Would they be reunited at a later point in time? 

I laid in bed with Jon, unable to calm my racing thoughts. It was early in the morning, too early to be awake, but I couldn't shake my thoughts. I was still weak, the cold unbearable to be in for too long, but I needed to clear my head. The heat of the room was too comforting. We had been living on a small warm island separated from the rest of Winterfell, I had to face reality, as much as I dreaded it. Who could think about such serious matters clearly in a state of bliss?

"What's wrong?" Jon asked, moving his hands through my hair. My head was laying on his bare chest. It got too warm in here for him so when we slept he often times removed his shirt. My fingers absentmindedly traced over his stomach. 

"Just feeling a bit couped up is all" I mumble, trying to gather my thoughts. 

"I'm sorry, but it is for your own good. When the sun comes up and it gets warmer we can go for a walk if you like" he says, slowly stroking my hair. It was hypnotic, the way his fingers felt when they ran through my hair. So soothing and comforting, I could feel myself about to fall back asleep but I resisted the urge. 

"I miss seeing the sunrise from the broken tower" I whispered, continuing to move my fingers over his bare skin. 

"I know, but it's too cold for you to be wandering about in the mornings" he answered, continuing to stroke my hair. 

"I want to see it....before we leave," I said, feeling my eyelids start to grow heavy. I tried to fight off the feeling more and more but it was getting harder. Gods, why did his touch lull me so? 

"You will, I promise" He whispered. I felt him lean down and place a gentle kiss on the top of my head. I scooted up, so the top of my head was closer to his chin. He pulled up the furs, engulfing me in the warmth both they and him provided. With the closing of my eyes, I was fast asleep. 

"Jon, Emylea!" 

I slowly opened my eyes, feeling tired as I turned my head to peek over Jon's chest. Robb stood to the right of Jon, looking down at us with a knowing smile. 

"Is everything okay? Is it Bran?" I ask, wiping the sleep from my eyes, sitting up slowly in the bed. 

"Bran is still sleeping, it's Father. He wants a word with you as soon as you're able. He said to dress nice," Robb says looking at me. 

"She's still sick Robb," Jon says, sitting up as well with a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. 

"I'm fine Jon, I can handle seeing Lord Eddrd" I mumble my voice sounding a bit faint. 

"Yeah Jon, she'll be fine," Robb said with a grin. Jon only gave him an annoyed glance. 

"Well don't you look cozy?" 

We turned to the door and saw Theon Greyjoy stroll in with a smirk on his lips. I rolled my eyes. 

"Get out Theon" I grumbled, not feeling up to listening to his smart tongue. 

"Oh no! Did Jon leave you sore? Is that why you're acting so moody?" Theon asked with a laugh. Jon and I looked at him in annoyance. At the beginning of the week we were all blushes but after a while, we became accustomed to it. People talked, and what we did was our business alone. 

"Out Greyjoy or I'll have Ghost show you the door" Jon snapped. Ghost lifted up his head at the sound of his name. He and Winter were currently sleeping in front of the fire. Ghost growled and bared his teeth at Theon, making him step back. 

"Alright, no need to make a fuss" Theon grumbled before he left the room with Robb following behind. 

"What a wonderful way to start the morning," I say with a sarcastic smile as Jon moves to get out of bed. He chuckles at my words. I lay back down on the spot he left behind, humming at the warmth that was there. 

"You better get up or you'll be late," Jon says as I watch him pull on his shirt. He glances at me with a smile. I sigh and slowly sit back up, pulling away the blankets to expose my nightshift. We both dress silently, Jon helping me to tie the straps at the back of my grey dress. I pull on my shoes and furs, being sure to cover my hair with the fur-lined hood. 

"I better go alone," I tell Jon, turning to face him as we move to leave the room. He gives me a reassuring smile as we leave and we both walk our separate ways. The wolves chose to go with Jon. I watched as they walked away, pulling the furs tighter around my body as I turn and make my way to Lord Stark's chambers. 

I climbed up to the Lord and Lady's chambers taking a deep breath as I knock on the wood door. 

"Come in" Lord Stark calls from the other side. I slowly open the door and do my best not to panic or stumble when I see the King and Queen sitting at a table with Ned standing on the other side of the room. I cautiously shut the door behind me and slowly make my way towards the table. 

"You summoned me, My Lord? Your Graces" I say, doing a low curtsy, praying my hair was well covered and keeping my eyes trained on the floor. 

"Look at me. And remove your hood" the King orders, looking at me sternly. I hesitate, fearing my life would end here in this room. 

"It's alright child, do as he says," Ned Stark tells me with a reassuring look. I slowly move up my hands and carefully remove my white, fur-lined hood. Revealing my white, silvery hair underneath. I look up at the King and I can feel the hatred radiating off of him as he stared into my violet eyes. 

"So it's true. Seven hells Ned you told me you killed the girl!" the King bellows, his rage seeming to shake the chamber walls. 

"You asked me to murder an innocent child. I could not blame the girl for her father's crimes" Lord Stark says calmly, trying to curb the King's anger. 

"Damn you and your honor. What's her name?" the King asked, turning to Lord Stark as if I wasn't in the room. 

"She is Rhaella Targaryen, second of her name. But I renamed her Emylea Snow, so as not to draw suspicion" Ned answered, chills crawling up my spine. I never thought I had a different name...I've never considered the idea that I was meant to be someone else. That at one time I was actually a princess. 

"Hm," The King huffed, turning back to look at me suspicion in his eyes. He seemed almost afraid of me, but I'm sure I was misreading his eyes. How could I scare him? I was only 16, a mere girl. Maybe I reminded him of the past, of what my brother did to his love. 

"She should be put to death, she rivals our rule as long as she's alive" The Queen spits, looking at me in disgust. I wasn't sure who hated me more, the King or the Queen. Her stare was more intense than any I've endured before. It took everything in my not to shiver underneath it. 

"Quiet, I'm the King, and gods be damned, Ned's right. Look at her Cersei, she's but a child, a small pale shivering child" The King grumbles, continuing to stare at me. But the Queen did not look satisfied. If anything she seemed to hate me all the more. 

"Girl, do you pledge fielty to me and name me rightful King of the Seven Kingdoms?" The King asked. 

"Yes your Grace, you are the one true king" I answer. 

"There. She names me King. She can accompany us as my ward, she'll be Lady Rhaella Targaryen now. Once she has proved her loyalty to the crown, she'll wed your son Ned, your eldest one not the bastard. There, the matter is settled and done" The King grumbled, grabbing his cup off the small table the queen was sitting at and taking a long drink from it. 

"Thank you, your Grace," I whisper. 

"You're dismissed, we leave in two days," he says with a lazy wave of his hand. I curtsy once more, turning and leaving the room. I feel tears well up in my eyes as I walk down the corridor. My chest felt tight and there was a pain in my stomach. I run quickly down the hall and out into the courtyard, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. 

"Emylea?" 

I turn and see Robb and Jon standing in the courtyard, looking at me with worried eyes. I run over to Jon and wrap my arms around his chest, wishing this was only a dream. Leaving Jon is one thing, being forced to marry his brother, Robb is another. Not that Robb wasn't a fine young man, but I didn't want to be married to him. I didn't want to marry anyone unless it was Jon. 

"Please Jon, don't let them do this" I beg, my voice cracking from my tears. 

"Do what? What's happened?" He asks, gently easing me away from his chest to look into my tear filled eyes. I couldn't answer. It took everything in me not to sob. I was being held together by a thread, and it just got a little thinner. 

"I-I" I choke, trying to pull myself back together. 

"I'm going to be wed to Robb" I cry, burying my head into his chest. I can feel his chest tense up underneath my head. He takes a deep breath. 

"Did you know about this?" Jon snaps, but Robb stays silent. 

"Did you?!" Jon shouts again. His chest shaking with anger. 

"No! I swear I knew nothing about this!" Robb shouts back. Everything goes silent. The world just seems to freeze in place. I can feel my body start to spasm, half from cold, half from fear. 

"You should take her back to her chambers, she shouldn't be out in the cold" Robb mumbles quietly. Jon says nothing. He grabs my hand and pulls me back into the castle. He leads me back to my chambers, shutting the door behind us, leaving the wolves to their business in the courtyard. 

I slowly sit on the bed, the shock freezing my body as Jon gets the fire started back up again. I sit their, shuddering and shaking. The tears stopped, making me feel empty inside. I had nothing left. I didn't even have the hope of being reunited with Jon one day, I was being sold to Robb. Even if he was a sweet boy, I loved him like a brother, not the way Jon and I are. Nothing could compare to that. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jon asks softly, slowly taking a seat to my left. I stay silent, staring off into space. 

"Emylea, please" Jon silently begs, setting his right hand on top of my clasped ones. 

"It's Rhaella, actually. Apparently, that's my given name. I'm not Emylea anymore, I'm Lady Rhaella Targaryen, second of her name. Betrothed to Robb Stark future L-" I break off, the tears returning once more and a sob catching the words in my throat. 

"A name doesn't change who you are. You're still my Emylea. You're still the same woman I fell in love with" he tells me, gently squeezing my hands. 

"But I'm not yours, I'm Robb's. Oh, gods, I'm going to marry Robb Stark" I sob, turning to Jon and crying into his right shoulder. 

"Robb's not bad. He'll be good to you, give you everything....everything you want" Jon says, his voice breaking towards the end. The weight of the situation was catching up with him. 

"I don't want to marry Robb Stark, I want to marry you" I cry. Praying to every God I could name, praying to them to not let this be. 

"You couldn't marry me...I'm just the bastard of Winterfell, I'm a Snow. You're a princess, a Targaryen. You couldn't marry someone like me, someone of my title" He whispers, the pain eminent in his voice. 

"Fuck titles. You are the one I love, Jon. You are the only man I've ever wanted to marry. You are it, there could never be anyone else. No love could compare to the love I feel for you" I say, pulling back to look into his soft chocolate eyes. His left-hand moves, cupping my cheek and wiping away my tears. 

"You, are all I've ever wanted. You are my life Emylea, I would do anything for you" he whispers, bringing a soft smile to my lips. I slowly lean forward, bringing my lips to his. His cool lips move with my warm ones. 

All of my stress disappears as the kiss continues. It's slow and soft, full of love. I moved closer. I lifted my right leg up so I was straddling his lap. He breaks away. 

"We can't...Robb-" he begins, but I break him off with a kiss.

"Robb will understand. Please, Jon...I want you to be my first" I whisper, connecting our lips back together. The fire and passion returns, he breaks away once more. 

"What if you get with child?" he asks worriedly. 

"If I should be so lucky, to have a part of you with me, always" I mumble, cupping his cheeks in my hands. 

"This isn't right, we aren't wed. If anyone finds out, that you're spoiled-"

"It'll be our secret. Please, Jon, make love to me" I beg, bringing his lips back to my own. His arms wrap around me, holding me firmly in place as his lips play with mine. 

"Stand up" he whispers in my ear after placing a quick kiss on my cheek. I obey, moving off of his lap to stand before him. He stands up as well, making me step back. His hands move up to my fur cloak, unfastening it, and making it pool at my feet. He walks behind me and sets a gentle hand on my right shoulder as if asking for my permission. I pull my white hair forward over my left shoulder, giving him full access to the laces on my back. 

I feel goose pimples prickle my skin as he slowly unties the laces, placing the occasional kiss on my shoulder and neck as he does so. Once he's finished I shrug the dress off my shoulders, making it pool at my feet with my cloak. I slowly turn to face him, my naked body covered with goose pimples, the only thing left on my body is the necklace he got me. I watch as his eyes roam over my body, making me blush. 

"You're absolutely beautiful" he whispers, looking at me with love filled eyes. I tentatively moved my hands under his shirt, letting my hands explore his toned stomach. He quickly pulls his shirt off and moves forward, reconnecting our lips. His lips soon move from mine to my neck, and down the valley of my breasts as he moves to kneel before me. His hands held onto my hips as his lips make their way down my stomach and to my sex, making me gasp. 

My hands move to his raven black curls, lightly tugging on them. A moan leaves his lips and courses through my body, making me shudder. A few moans leave my lips as his kissing turns into sucking and his tongue moving against me. As my thighs continue to shudder his grip tightens on my hips, holding me firmly in place. Right as I'm about to fall over the edge he stops. I continue to feel shaky as he rises back to his feet, his lips glistening with my wetness. I only stand there, trying to regain my breath as he smiles at me. I quickly reconnect our lips, tasting myself on his lips.

While we kiss I move my hands to his pants, unbuckling them and pushing them off his waist. I hear them hit the floor with the rest of our clothing. He pulls me into him, our naked bodies pressed up next to one another as we continue to kiss. I can feel his hardness pressing against me. He bends down, not breaking our kiss and picks me up. I giggle and instantly wrap my legs around his waist, my arms loosely wrapped around his neck. We break apart and stare into one another's eyes. His eyes seemed darker, full of lust. He carries me to the bed and gently lays me down on the furs, climbing on top of me and reconnecting our lips reconnect. He stops and looks lovingly into my eyes. 

We continue to look into one another's eyes as he positions himself in front of my entrance.

"Are you sure?" he asks, looking at me for any signs of doubt. 

"Yes," I answer. My eyes can't help but close as a gasp leaves my lips at his entering me. He stops. 

"Am I hurting you?" he asks, immediately stopping his movements, making me open my eyes, seeing his concern. 

"No, you can keep going" I whisper, gasping once more when he continues. He fills me up completely, making me feel whole. He clasps our hands together, holding onto mine tightly as he stays still, allowing me to adjust. After a second I open my eyes and stare into his. 

"You can move" I whisper softly, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. An almost overwhelming amount of pleasure goes through me as he starts to slowly thrust in and out. The pain faded with each thrust until it was only pleasure. He kept the speed slow, making sure I felt him with each thrust. We moaned each other's names as he made love to me. Our lips meshed into one until we both cried out in pleasure as he spilled into me, the pleasure overwhelming us. 

Once we finished, we got under the covers and he held me in his arms, like all the nights before. My head resting on his bare chest. I tiredly lifted up my head to look at him with a lazy smile on my face. His cheeks were flushed with color and his eyes full of life and happiness and I'm sure I looked the same. 

"What was that thing you did with your tongue?" I ask, my fingers roaming across his chest. A tingling sensation raced through my body at the mere thought of it. He smiles back. 

"I just wanted to kiss you there was all" he admits, smiling at me, his fingers playing with my hair. I only smile in response. 

"I love you," he tells me softly. 

"I love you too" I whisper back, leaning up to kiss him before I lay my head back on his chest, listening to his heart and letting it lull me to sleep. We spent the rest of the day in that bed, naked. We talked and just embraced one another as lover's do. All the while he played with my hair and placed kisses on the top of my head. 

I awoke early the next morning, before sunrise. I was still naked, laying on Jon's bare chest. I woke up smiling, happy to feel his arm around me, holding me close. I moved to sit up but I was stopped, Jon's grip tightening on me and keeping me in place. 

"And just where do you think you're going?" he whispers in his deep, raspy morning voice, bringing a giggle to my lips. 

"I believe you promised me a sunrise" I whisper back, lifting my head to look into his eyes. He smiles back at me, his left hand moving up and down my bare back. 

"I did," he says softly, continuing to stroke my back. 

"We better go, or we'll miss it" I mumble, not daring to move or break the trance he has over me. I tried my best not to close my eyes and relish the feeling of his fingers on my back. 

"Just a few minutes more" he replies, looking at me with love clearly written in his eyes. We stay like that for a few minutes, ingraining this moment in our memories. I move up and place a kiss on his soft, cool lips. 

"Let's go" I whisper, getting up once I catch him off guard. I can feel his eyes on me as I walk around the bed and over to our clothes. 

"Gods you're beautiful" 

I look up at him, seeing him sitting up in the bed and looking at me with a lazy grin on his face. I smile back, grabbing my corset. 

"Come here and help me with these laces," I say with a smile, pulling the dark leather material on and holding it in place as Jon gets out of bed and walks over to me. He walks behind me and I pull my hair over my shoulder to give him access. I hold onto my necklace as he ties up the laces tight. Once he finishes I turn back to face him, him grinning down at me. 

"You aren't making this easy" I whisper. He only smiles back. He gives me a quick kiss on my forehead and starts getting himself dressed as well. 

Once we're finished and I'm all bundled up in my furs, we leave my room and make our way to the broken tower. We run into Winter and Ghost in the courtyard and they follow us the rest of the way up. 

We stand in the gap, his arm wrapped around me like it was only a month before. Had it really been only a month? Have I really changed this much? In a month have I gone from a girl to a woman? From a Snow to a Lady Targaryen? To having mild flirtations with Jon to being betrothed to Robb Stark? 

"I uh, had something made for you" I mumbled nervously, a blush rising to my cheeks. I turn to face Jon just as the sun begins to rise. I pull out a silver ring from my pocket, a dragon ingrained on the inside. 

"It's Valyrian steel, it was all they had left of it so I convinced them to use it for this" I explain, offering him the ring. He takes it from my hand and examines it with his fingers. 

"I thought you could take it with you when you go North. So you can have something to remember me by" I say, watching his reaction. A smile breaks onto his lips as he slides it onto his right ring finger. 

"I love it," He says, pulling me into a kiss, making me smile. 

"I love you" I whisper, looking into his eyes. 

"I love you too," he whispers back, resting his forehead against mine, the sun rising on our sides. And for a brief moment, I thought everything would be okay, that maybe we would be reunited. Maybe one day, we'd come back and have the life we've always wanted. Maybe...but not for sure. Nothing was ever for sure these days. He was my one constant and he was being ripped away from me. How could I be expected to survive? 

"You promised me"

Dream Jon's voice echoes through my mind. That's why I would survive, for him. The same reason he'll do his best to survive on the wall. For me. For us. Because we were fated, one way or another. And nothing could change that...nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

Running away still felt like a valid option. I could picture it, me and Jon living in the woods, maybe building a small house together, a farm. It wouldn't be a grand life, simple, living from day to day. But we would be together, and that's all I cared about. But it was too late for silly daydreams, no matter how vividly I could picture it. 

We were leaving today. Me, Eddard Stark and the girls along with the royal family and our entourage to King's Landing. While Jon, Benjen and Tyrion Lannister would ride north, for the Wall. I didn't want to leave Jon's side until it was time to leave, but we each had our own goodbyes to say, something we couldn't do together. 

The wolves, seeming to be aware of today's events choose to stay in the stables together, sleeping and playing with one another. Something I wished me and Jon could do instead of preparing for the trip. But it had to be done. 

I made my way through the crowded courtyard to the godswood, thinking that I should pray for Bran at least once more before we left. Bran and Jon and everyone else.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't think anyone else would be here" I mumble awkwardly as I see Robb praying before the old heart tree. 

~He said nothing as I sat down beside him, choosing to look into the pool of water instead. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, turning his head away from the tree to look at me. I looked at him confused, not entirely sure what he meant. Did he know about Jon and I's night together? This frustrated him and made the tips of his ears turn pink. 

"Your name isn't Snow" 

So that's what he meant. 

"No, it isn't" I reply simply, unsure of how to explain myself to him. Robb has never accused me of anything, has never been cross with me unless I stayed out too late. I didn't know how to react to his judgment. 

"Look, I know why you had to keep it a secret. You couldn't parade yourself around like a princess. But why didn't you tell me? We've been friends since the day you came here. You've confided in me about Jon and archery training and so many other things. Why not this?" he asks, turning to look at me with pain in his eyes. 

"I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Lord Stark told me that if I told anyone about who I really was, that I'd likely be killed. And that it was likely you would all be killed too, in retaliation for 'harboring a fugitive'"

"But you told Jon," Robb says dryly. 

"Yes, I told Jon"

"Why?" he asks, that same accusatory tone in his voice. 

"Because he understood! He knew what it was like to be an outsider. A Snow. I knew he wouldn't tell anyone because he knew what was at stake and what would happen if he did" I say, getting tired of this circular conversation. 

"I would know. You could have told me"

"Really? Think of what that would do Robb. You're the next Lord of Winterfell. What if the King had found out and stormed his way here. Would you honestly put your life, your family at risk to hide me?"

"You are my family"

"But not by blood. And in things like this blood runs thicker. I would never want you to put anyone's life in danger for me. It seemed easier this way. For you to be ignorant of who I truly am. What I am" I explain, trying my best to make him understand. He stays silent, turning his head to look back up at the wirewood tree. 

"I wanted to be that person. The one you felt you could trust and tell anything to" he mumbles, not daring to look at me. 

"You are Robb"

"No, not like you and Jon are. I wanted to be that to you. Still, do. I wanted to be the one you came crying to and depended on. I love you, for some time now" he admits. I stay quiet, unsure of what to say or do. Robb's always been a brother to me. I admit when I was younger there were sometimes when I imagined what kissing him would be like, but it was all innocent. Not like me and Jon. 

"I thought I might've had a chance with you, even if I was heir to Winterfell and would be paired with some other northern lady. I thought you and I could end up together. That I could have convinced father to let me marry you. But then I saw how you looked at Jon, and that he looked at you the same way. You started drifting away from me and towards him. It breaks my heart, seeing you in love with another. I don't mind marrying you, it's what I've always wanted, but it would be easier if you weren't already in love with someone else" Robb admits, continuing to stare at the heart tree. 

"I do believe that one day we could learn to love one another. Like my parents did. Jon won't be around, it'll just be you and I. We could make this work between us. In time." Robb says with a hopeful smile turning to look at me and grabbing my hand to give it a squeeze. 

"I'm sorry Robb but I'm never going to stop loving Jon and I think you know that," I tell him honestly. 

"I know and I'm not asking you to. But I am asking you to try to make this work between us, to try and forget or but your love for him aside. Once we're married we'll be expected to start having children...and I'll not force myself upon you. I'll wait until you're comfortable until we're comfortable with one another, but I need you to try and be okay with this. Try to be okay with me, with us" Robb begs. 

After a second or two I slowly nod. I know I could never really forget Jon or push the love I have for him aside. But I could grow to love Robb. I already did love him as a sister and friend, perhaps our marriage didn't have to be much different from that. 

"I'll try" I whisper with a shaky breath. Robb gives a half smile in return.

"I know this can't be easy. It's hard for me to come to terms with as well. But, I'll write to you when you go south. It'll be easier to go through with...everything if we stay familiar with one another" Robb says. I nod slowly, trying to let this all sink in. 

"I agree," I say with a half smile. I stand up and he does as well, moving over the rock to stand in front of me. He holds out his hands and I slowly place my hands in his. 

"I'll miss you while you're away, it'll be boring in Winterfell without you to look after," he says with a smile, slowly chipping away at the ice that was starting to grow between us. I let out a small laugh. 

"You better be nice to the boys while I'm gone. Play with Rickon and Bran, they'll need you as a brother and not just their Lord" I tell him, causing him to let out a low chuckle. 

"I will, I promise," he says, taking a step closer to me. He looks at me nervously, as if unsure about what he would do next. I was about to ask what was on his mind when he quickly leaned towards me and kissed my lips. 

I was shocked, frozen in place. But after the shock wore off I had the sense to kiss him back. It was a soft kiss but left a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It lasted a moment or two and he quickly pulled back to look at me. I suppose he thought I would be angry, but I wasn't. We would be married anyway, why should it matter if he kissed me now or not? 

"I'm sorry, I just thought it would be best if-"

"No, it's alright," I tell him with what little smile I could muster. I quickly glanced over his shoulder, swearing I could see a glint of red hair. 

"Well I won't keep you any longer, I know you still need to say goodbye to the boys," he says, giving my hands a final squeeze before dropping them.

"I'm going to miss you too Robb, even if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, it'll be strange not seeing you every day. You'll be a welcomed sight when I return" I admit. 

He smiles and turns to walk away, his cloak billowing behind him in the cold air. I let out a heavy sigh and turned to look at the tree. Why was this so hard? Why did my heart choose Jon? 

"We're bonded you and I. By fate or the gods I don't know."

I groaned as his words echoed in my mind. Why did being bonded have to be so difficult? But I knew I would find my way back to Jon. That's what being bonded meant right? 

After I mumbled a short prayer for Robb, Rickon, and Bran, I made my way to Bran's chambers. 

Once I reached the top of the steps I ran into Jon, on his way down from Bran's chambers. 

"How is he?" I ask, seeing Jon's grim expression. He stays silent, looking at me with pain in his eyes. 

"Catelyn," I say with a heavy sigh. He nods. I step forward and pull him into a hug, trying to offer what comfort I could. I understood his pain. Catelyn was always so cruel to Jon. I could imagine how hateful she was, especially when she was fearing for Bran's life. 

I pull back and place a kiss on his stubbly cheek, making him smile faintly. I take his hand and give it a light squeeze. 

"I'll catch up with you in a bit" I mumble, releasing my hold on his hand so I could go say goodbye to Bran. 

"Alright," Jon says with a tired sigh as he starts to descend the winding stairs. I hesitantly open the door, seeing Catelyn standing over Bran with anger and hurt written all over her face. 

"What do you want?" Catelyn spits fiercely, not bothering to look at me. 

"I only wish to tell Bran goodbye" I answer, trying to hold my ground. She only sighs in defeat. 

"Be quick about it" She grumbles, returning to her chair by his right side. I move over to his left and sit on his bedside. I slowly move a piece of his dark brown hair out of his face. I take his left hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

"I'm sorry I'll be leaving you too Bran. Believe me, it wasn't my first choice. But I'll be back after you wake. And when I get back we can have target practice again, me, you and Robb, like before" I say, tears starting to form in my eyes. 

"Everything is going to turn out okay in the end. You'll see. Goodbye Bran" I mumble, bringing his hand up to my lips and kissing the top. I stand back up and wipe the tears from my eyes as I leave the room. I slowly shut the door behind me and make my way down the stairs, holding back the tears from my eyes. I would miss Bran of course, but saying goodbye to him...it felt like I would never return. Somehow in my heart I knew, I would never return to this place, to what's been known as my home. At the very least when I returned I wouldn't be the same. 

I walked into the courtyard and started looking around for little Rickon. When I couldn't find him anywhere on the ground I began walking towards the broken tower and there he was. Rickon was sitting against the tower with Shaggydog sitting on his left. 

"Can I sit with you?" I ask, smiling at seeing his dirty face. He shrugged. I walked over and took a seat on his right side, leaning my back against the stones. 

"Everyone's leaving, you and father and Jon...why can't they stay?" Rickon whimpers. I turn and look down at the boy next to me, the boy trying so hard not to cry. I wanted to cry too. 

"It won't be for forever. We'll all come back, it'll just take some time" I tell him wrapping my arm around him and giving him a sideways hug. 

"Do you promise?" He asked in his sweet little voice, looking up at me from my side.

"I promise Rickon, we'll see each other again and when we do we'll play chase, me, you and Shaggydog," I say giving him a gentle squeeze and kissing the top of his forehead. He moves and gives me a tight hug. 

"I'm gonna miss you" he mumbles into my side. 

"I'm gonna miss you too" I whisper back, feeling the tears well back up in my eyes. 

"Come on, I'm sure Jon wants to tell you goodbye," I say standing up and offering him my hand. He takes it and we start walking back towards the main castle. The courtyard is filled with horses and royal guards and everyone else preparing for the trip. I lead Rickon towards the stables, thinking that's where Jon would be headed. 

"Well well, hello lady Targaryen" 

I roll my eyes as Theon walks over to me and Rickon. He was stumbling a bit, drunk no doubt. 

"We were just looking for Jon, have you seen him?" I ask, doing my best to remain neutral for Rickon's sake as Theon smirks at me. 

"He'll be back in a second" Theon says with that smirk of his as he walks closer towards us. 

"We'll just wait here then" I mumble, trying to calm my nerves. Theon always made me nervous, he just made me feel uncomfortable. He was too wild, too caught up in women and himself. We've never really gotten along, he would always tease me, even now that we were almost adults. 

"Rickon why don't you go check on the horses?" I mumble letting go of Rickon's hand as he walks over to the horses in the back of the stable. 

"Why haven't you come to say goodbye to me?" Theon slurs walking closer to me. 

"I didn't think you would care" I answer crossing my arms over my chest. I didn't like the way he looked to me. 

"Come on, you hurt my feelings," he says with a sarcastic pout on his lips. 

"What do you want Theon? A hug or something?" I ask. His pout turns into a smirk. 

"Or something. How about you open those pretty little legs of yours for me?" He slurs, eyeing me with lust filled eyes. 

"Back off Greyjoy" 

I turn around and see Jon walking up from behind me. He stops to stand at my right side. I glance at him and see him glaring at Theon. 

"What is it, Snow? Don't feel like sharing?" Theon slurs, approaching Jon with the same old smirk on his face. A smirk of privilege and entitlement. 

"I said back off Greyjoy before I break your nose" Jon snaps continuing to glare to Theon. He rolls his eyes and moves past Jon, bumping into his shoulder on his way out of the stables. Jon quickly turns to look at me, worry in his eyes. 

"Did he hurt you?" he asks placing his hands on my arms to keep me in place while he looked me over. 

"I'm fine," I say trying to give him a reassuring smile when Rickon runs over and gives Jon a hug. 

"I'm gonna miss you Jon" Rickon mumbles into Jon's side. I watch as Jon kneels down and pulls Rickon into a proper hug. 

"I'm gonna miss you too, be good and take care of your brothers and mother alright?" Jon mumbles pulling out of the hug to look into the little boy's eyes. Rickon nods and gives him another quick hug before running out of the stables with Shaggydog in tow. 

"I can't imagine him getting any bigger" I whisper with a sad smile. I turn back towards Jon and see him giving me a sad smile as well. 

"I uh have something for you," he says awkwardly, pulling something out of his cloak pocket. 

"You've already given me a necklace, Jon," I say with a smile.

"It's supposed to be from Robb, but he told me I should be the one to give it to you. I helped him with the design" Jon explains, showing me a sleek silver ring with a dire wolf on the outside rim. 

"It's beautiful...but why would Robb want to give me this?" I asked slightly confused as Jon takes my left hand in his. 

"It's a wedding ring, so all the fancy lords out there know you're spoken for" Jon explains, slowly sliding the ring onto my left ring finger. I examine it and notice the ring on Jon's left hand as well. 

"Our rings match, aside for the insignias" I mumble quietly as he takes both of my hands back in his.

"I would never want to hurt Robb. The rest of the world may see you as Robb's but between us this ring marks you as mine, just as much as the one on my finger marks me as yours" He whispers boldly, stepping closer to me. 

"We were fated, Jon. I know you don't believe in signs or fate, but we are bound and we'll find our way back to one another I'm sure of it" I whisper hurriedly, holding his hands tightly in mine. Time was running out. I couldn't keep up or make it stop. He gives another sad smile before pulling me into his chest for a hug. He holds me tightly, for what is possibly the last time. 

"We still haven't said goodbye to one another," he says softly, continuing to hold me in his arms. 

"I don't ever want to say goodbye to you," I say into his chest with tears in my eyes. 

"Then don't. Once I'm a member of the Night's Watch I can come to visit you here. After you've gotten warm...and are wed." Jon replies, giving me a gentle squeeze and kissing the top of my head before letting me go. A trumpet sounds from the courtyard, signaling our inevitable departure. 

"Kiss me, Jon, please" I beg softly looking up into his soft chocolate eyes. He complies and connects his soft lips with my own. I could feel the passion and love in his kiss. He stirred the fire in me. I close my eyes and beg the gods for this moment to never end. I commit this moment to memory, his earthy smell and the feel of his lips on mine, his arms holding me tightly, the sight of his raven colored curls. 

We pull away and the trumpet sounds once more. 

"It's time" Jon whispers looking into my eyes and I could see the wetness in them. 

"I suppose it is" I mumble as he slowly lets me go. We stare into each other eyes until I break his heartbreaking gaze and walk out of the stables and away from Jon. 

Within the hour we were riding out of the gates of Winterfell, on to our new lives. It was pretty uncomfortable to be riding, I was still a little sore from the other night. Just the thought made my cheeks red. Winter walked by my side while Ghost walked alongside Jon. We rode fairly close to one another, my black mare in stride with his white one.

We talked and laughed as if it was a typical ride about the castle until we reached the crossroads. I stayed there, while everyone else carried on down the King's road. Jon and I stayed there staring at one another, trying to memorize each other's faces. I could feel the tears start to prickle at my eyes, along with a wave of shivers. Even on a horse, covered in furs, I was still so cold. 

"Emylea, child, you should continue on. The faster we get you south, the better" Lord Stark says riding up and stopping beside me. I glance at Lord Stark and back at Jon. 

"It's alright, go," Jon tells me with an easy smile. But I could see through it. He didn't want me to go, but he knew that with a single word I would stay. 

"I love you" I whisper with a tear-filled smile, not caring if Lord Stark heard or knew. 

"I love you too" he whispers back, tears in his eyes as well as I turn my mare and continue down the King's Road, Winter continuing to walk by my side, her steps seeming less energetic than before. I turn around and see Jon watching me ride away. Tears run freely down my cheeks as I turn back around, praying to the gods that one day we would be reunited. 

Jon watched as she rode away. Ghost's whimpers filling the silence as she trotted away. Keep her safe, he prayed. Gods if he could only see her face once more. Then she turned around, the wind blowing her white hair out of her face so he could look at her one last time. She turned back around and continued on down the King's Road, Jon watched until she was out of sight, praying he wouldn't forget her. Praying he'd see her again. 

"You must really love her. Letting her go can't be an easy thing to do" his father said a small smile on his face when Jon turned towards him. Jon remained silent, trying to keep strong, trying not to cry in front of his father. 

"Does my mother know? Know where I am or would she even care?" Jon asked, trying to change the subject. But he was also curious, he didn't know anything about his mother and this might be his last chance to ask. 

"I'll come to visit you at Castle Black, we'll talk then, about your mother, about everything I promise," his father says with a solemn look. Jon only nods, doing his best not to think about the girl riding farther and farther away with each second. 

"Don't worry, you'll move on," his father said reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. But Jon knew it was a lie, just as much as Ned knew he'd never forget her. Ned saw the way they would glance at one another, all of their whispered conversations, Ned knew they were in love. It broke Ned's heart a bit to see them separated but he knew it was for their own good. 

"Goodbye Father," Jon said with a small smile. Ned smiled back.

"Just remember Jon, you're a Stark. You might not have my name, but you have my blood" he says before riding back onto the King's Road to meet with the others. 

It took Jon a second to process what Ned had just called him. He called him a Stark, the one thing Jon always wanted. But it didn't mean as much to him as he thought it would. Without her, it didn't seem to have any meaning. He always wanted a name, to be accepted into the family, but Jon realized that he wanted it for her. If he had a title, if he was a Stark, he could marry her and give her some sort of life. But now...now they had nothing. Jon sighed heavily before continuing on with the significantly smaller party, north to the wall. 

Why didn't I kiss him? Who cares if it wouldn't be appropriate or proper? I wish I kissed him there, at the crossroads, but I couldn't. Not just because I was a lady now, engaged to Robb Stark, but because it would feel so final. Kissing him there would feel like saying goodbye and I couldn't do that. I would go to my grave remembering Jon Snow's lips on mine and the way he held me after we made love. I would not forget, I wouldn't let myself forget. 

We traveled for a few days until we reached an Inn. Arya and I shared a room and bed. Lord Stark decided it would be better for me to have a warm body to sleep next to, so I could stay warm and retain some body heat. It was a little warmer. I could tell the difference in temperature between here and Winterfell. But I was still cold. 

"Emylea! Will you practice with me? Please?" Arya asked shaking me awake. 

"Now? What time is it anyway?" I ask groggily peering over the bed and seeing both Nymeria and Winter still fast asleep next to each other. Winter stilled seemed sad but she was getting better, she had been interacting with her sisters more with each passing day. 

"It's just past dawn, please? I wanna test out my new sword!" Arya begs, moving away from my side of the bed and to her chest of clothes. I slowly sit up and watch as she digs into her chest and pulls out a small thin sword, a huge grin on her face. 

"Where did you get that?" I ask as she brings the sword over to me, allowing me to examine it. 

"Jon had it made for me! He said you would help me practice. Its name is Needle, isn't it nice?" She tells me with a smile as I hand it back to her. I smiled in return. Of course, Jon would do something like this for Arya, he did the same thing for me when I wanted to learn. 

"Its very pretty, but we should be using a wooden sword for practice, just until you can learn the basics" I explain, slowly getting out of bed and pulling on my riding clothes and boots. 

"But we haven't got any wooden swords" Arya mumbles as I pull on my fur-lined cloak. 

"We'll just have to find some decent sticks then," I tell her with a smile, as I quickly pull my hair into a messy side braid, pulling it over my right shoulder as I pull up my hood. I still felt the need to hide, to hide my hair especially. I wasn't quite comfortable being outward about my title. I walk over and open the door. 

"Hide Needle and let's go practice," I tell her. She smiles and quickly stuffs needle back into her trunk of clothes and runs over to me and down the Inn's stairs as we make our way outside. Even though it was just past dawn, the King's entourage was busy at work, sharpening swords and grooming horses. All the knights and guards were rather intimidating, especially the Hound, prince Joffery's personal guard. 

We walked over to the river and settled on a spot near a willow tree, finding two decent sized branches to practice with. Winter and Nymeria followed us out, choosing to play by the river and chase rabbits while we practiced. Arya was getting pretty good with a sword, but she was still too focused on the swinging of the sword than her footwork, meaning she was fairly easy to knock off balance. 

We practiced for hours and she improved with each passing one. It was at the end when my strength was beginning to fail, that she got the best of me. She knocked me off balance and caused me to fall into the river. I saw Winter jump in after me, thinking I was in trouble. I couldn't help but smile when she nuzzled her head under my left arm as if she was helping me back to my feet. 

I slowly got to my feet and out of the river. Once I was out of the freezing water I started to shiver, violently. 

"A-Arya" I managed to get out through my chattering teeth, pointing over to my furs I set by the tree. Arya quickly ran over and got them for me, running back over to drape them over my shoulders as I sat there on the river bank. 

"Are you alright?" Arya asks, looking at me concerned. I watch as Winter walks a bit of a way away and shakes out the loose water droplets out of her white fur. 

"F-fine" I stammer back, slowly getting back to my feet and wrapping my furs tighter around myself. 

"I'm gonna go back to the room. But good work" I tell her with a smile, ringing out my hair as I start to walk back to the room, Winter walking beside me. I slowly made it back to my room and peeled off my wet clothes, setting everything by the fire. I pulled on my night shift and sat before the fire, covered in furs, Winter laying by my side. I could feel myself drifting off as I stared into the fire and I didn't fight it off.

Jon was starting to get annoyed by Tyrion Lannister. The terrain was getting harsher the further north they went. When it came time to make camp, he never bothered to help or contribute, he only sat there reading his books. 

"Why do you do that?" Jon asked, deciding to confront the imp. 

"My greatest weapon is my mind, and a mind needs books like a sword needs a wet stone" he explained closing the book in front of him. They glanced over at the rapers that had joined their party as they sat drinking around the campfire. 

"Look at your new brothers Jon Snow, the Watch isn't the noble place you think it is. Defending the wall from fairy tales, grumpkins, and snarks. This is what you're joining, the great Night's Watch" Tyrion said gesturing towards the rapers. 

"I don't believe in grumpkins and snarks" Jon snapped back, not caring if he was a lord or not. 

"Good" Tyrion answered simply, returning to his book. Jon went back over to the campfire, hoping that what Tyrion had told him wasn't true. He didn't want to think that he left her to join a band of rapers and criminals. But in the back of his mind, he somehow knew it to be true. But he couldn't turn back now, not when he was so close. 

Here I was yet again, standing in the snow, but this time it only came up to my knees. This place seemed different somehow, more real than it had been before.

"Emylea?!"

I looked up and saw Jon, the older one, looking at me in relief. 

"Jon!" I called back in excitement, trying to move my legs from their icy prison. I looked back up and watched as he ran towards me, dropping his fancy sword in the snow as he ran. I could feel my heart race at seeing him again. It had been days since I last saw his face. Even if it was only in a dream it was still him. It was still my Jon. 

I held out my arms and let him scoop me up in his arms, pulling me free from the snow and into a tight hug. I could feel the tears sizzling off my cheeks as he held me close to his chest. I moved back a little, still in his grasp but so I could move my hands up to cup his cheeks. He still had his beard and his hair seemed a bit longer. He looked ragged like he hadn't slept properly for days as if he was ready to give up. 

He leaned down and connected our lips, his arms wrapping tightly around me, embracing me into his warmth. 

"Gods I've missed you" he whispers before reconnecting our lips. As happy as I was to be reunited with him, even in a dream, I was slightly confused. I pulled away to look into his eyes and saw such pain on his face I had to step back. 

"What's wrong? You're looking at me like I'm a ghost" I mumble back, my smile turning into a nervous one. He stays silent, his eyes taking in my appearance. 

"Where are you? In your world, where are you?" He asks me, almost frantically. 

"We're traveling along the King's Road...to King's Landing, and you...you're going to the wall" I explain, seeing his features tighten with frustration. 

"I don't understand Jon...what's wrong? What's happened in your world?" I ask fear starting to take over me, making me shiver. He looks at me with a sympathetic smile and pulls me back into his chest, making sure I was covered by his large, raven-feathered cloak. 

"I wish I could tell you...so many things I want to warn you about, but I can't" He mumbles, resting his chin on the top of my head. When did he get so tall? 

"I'm sorry" I mumble, trying to offer him comfort. 

"Don't worry about it love, what's important is that I'm going to get you back, I'm going to get back to you I promise" he mumbles, making me feel all the more confused. 

"Back from the Wall? Jon please just tell me what's going on" I beg, moving to look back into his chocolate brown eyes, full of worry. He stays silent and leans down to kiss me once more. I watch in shock as he kneels before me and places a kiss on my abdomen, covered in the white dress from before. 

"I love you" he whispers to my stomach before rising back to his feet and placing a soft kiss on my cheek. 

"I love you Emylea" he whispers in my ear as the world starts to become blurry. 

"I love you too Jon, I'll be fine, I promise" I whisper back as everything starts to fade, including him. 

"Rhaella, child wake up" 

I slowly sat up from where I was sleeping on the floor. The fire was burnt out and had covered me with a bit of soot. 

"You don't have to call me that my Lord" I mumble as I wipe some of the soot from my eyes. 

"It's your new name, you'll have to get used to people calling you it," Lord Stark said taking a seat next to me with a grim expression. 

"What's happened? Is it the girls, are they okay?" I ask, panic creeping into my voice. 

"They're fine now, there was an incident at the river...Nymeria has run off and Lady...was put to death in her place. I encourage you to keep Winter on a tight leash, the Queen would like her killed as well but I managed to talk her out of it" Ned explains with a heavy sigh, taking a seat next to me. 

"Is there more?" I ask quietly. 

"There is and I fear what I say to you, must stay between us," Ned tells me with a serious expression. I nod and turn to face him. 

"You have a sister, Daenerys, across the narrow sea. I fear something is going to go wrong in King's Landing, and if something does I want you to promise me you'll go to her" He tells me sternly. 

"But, what about the girls, Robb and the boys?" I ask hurriedly. 

"I fear that your being with them will only bring more danger to them if something should go array. Promise me that if something should go wrong you'll go join your sister across the narrow sea and go nowhere else," he tells me in all seriousness. 

"I promise" I whisper quietly, wondering how bad the river incident had to be for him to be telling me all of this. 

"Good, now you should dress, Arya will be coming up soon and she could use some kind words," He tells me with a sad smile, standing back up and heading for the door. 

"Lord Stark, do you truly believe that something bad will happen in King's Landing?" I ask, turning to face him. 

"For everyone's sake, I hope nothing bad happens, but I believe it to be inevitable" He sighs as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I looked down and fiddled with the dire wolf ring. If something happened I wouldn't have anywhere safe to run, I couldn't run with the girls, I couldn't run to Robb or the boys...Jon, I could go to the wall, to Jon. But I wouldn't be allowed to stay there for long. 

I tried to move the thoughts from my mind. Everything would be fine, I would stay in King's Landing with the girls and after I proved my loyalty I would marry Robb...We would live in Winterfell and Jon would come to visit us. I absentmindedly placed a hand on my stomach, my mind wandering to why dream Jon would feel a need to kiss me there. Did we have children in the future? Was I pregnant with his child over there? Was that why he was acting so strange? 

I had so many questions and no way to get them answered. I only hoped that someday everything would make sense.


	7. Chapter 7

Jon Snow swung with all his might at his would-be attackers, instantly knocking the boy to the ground. He did the same to his other opponents, ending the sparing match instantly. 

"Well you've done well Lord Snow, you're the least useless person here!" Ser Allister Thorne sneers, dismissing the boys. Jon couldn't help but grit his teeth at his new nickname as he walked over to the armory to go put away the dulled swords and padded chest armor. 

"Nice moves out there, Lord Snow," one of the boys teased, angrily tossing down his dull sword with the others. 

"Not my fault you don't know how to wield a damn sword" Jon spits, shrugging off his leather armor. 

"Don't push me bastard," the boy growls, him and his friends taking a few steps forward. 

"Ah, there you are Jon, I was hoping we could have a word" Tyrion calls from just outside. The boys glare at him as they walk out of the armory and Tyrion walks inside. 

"Word of advice, don't actively try to make them hate you," Tyrion says as he wanders inside. 

"They only hate me because I'm better than them!" Jon shouts at the little man. 

"No, they hate you because you flaunt it. Not all of them had the luxury to train with a master-at-arms. You need to stop alienating them through your standoffish attitude and combat skills" Tyrion advises, walking closer to Jon. Jon stays quiet, he wasn't very keen on the idea of making nice with the others. He liked keeping to himself, just him and Ghost. 

But he couldn't live like this for the rest of his life. 

"Just something for you to consider" Tyrion mumbles, walking back out of the armory, leaving Jon to his thoughts and all of his thoughts wandered back to her. He recalled how they teased him his first day for the ring on his finger. Ser Allister asked him if he was married, with a sick smirk on his face. Jon only muttered a faint "it's my mothers" before sulking back to his chambers. 

He didn't want to explain to them that it was a gift from the girl he loved. He didn't want to speak about her, it would only bring her to this desolate place full of hungry eyes. He didn't want any of the others to think about her. For now, she was his and his alone. 

"Jon" 

Jon snapped out of his thoughts and looked up to see his uncle Benjen standing in the doorway. 

"Walk with me," he said simply, walking past the doorway. Jon got up and pulled on his raven feathered cloak which was given to him when he arrived. He followed his uncle from the armory and up the wall. They walked a little bit along the Wall's icy structure, stopping at one of the vantage points to look out into the Haunted Forest. 

"I'm going out ranging into the Haunted Forest on the morrow" he said lazily, continuing to peer out over the wall. 

"I want to go with you," 

"No, you're not ready"

"I am ready"

"No, you're not. Here it's different. Here every man gets what they earn and not before they earn it. Here no one gives a damn about titles or anything that happened before they came here. Every man must earn everything they get" Benjen explains, glancing back at Jon. 

"When I return you'll be a full-fledged brother of the Night's Watch, you'll see," he said with a small smile, patting Jon on the shoulder as he walked away. Jon hoped his uncle would return soon. His uncle was the only one he felt he could truly talk to. Jon continued to walk the wall, trying to clear his head. He walked until he couldn't walk anymore and rode the shaft back down the wall and to his chambers where Ghost was waiting. Jon pulled off his boots, cloak and climbed into bed, drifting off, wishing he was someplace else. 

He was back. Standing in his snowy patch amidst the grassy plains. And there she was, in a long flowing red dress that billowed behind her as she walked. It was the older version of her again, with long white hair and more curves and those beautiful dark purple eyes. Gods how he missed her. 

"Hello Jon," she said with teary eyes as she stood before him. 

"What's wrong?" he asked her, wanting to take her in his arms and wipe those tears off her cheeks. 

"I just miss you is all" she mumbles looking at him sadly. He tries to step towards her, feeling a need to comfort her, but he couldn't move. She gave him a small smile and offered him her hand. He slowly took it and he was able to leave his patch of snow and pull her into his arms. He held onto her tightly, silently begging her not to let go. 

"Whatever it is, it'll be alright. I love you" he whispered softly, placing a kiss on her forehead, which felt really warm to the touch. Unusually warm. 

"Is everything alright? You feel warm" he mumbled, placing his lips on her forehead again to be sure. Could she be sick where ever she was? She gave an emotionless laugh in response. 

"This is how I am now, I'm warm" she replied pulling away to look into his eyes. 

"You made it south?" he asks hopefully, her smile turns into a sad one. 

"In so many ways" she answers nervously. 

"But you're safe?" he continues to press, placing his hands on her arms to survey her. 

"Yes my love, I'm safe" she answered back softly, moving up her right hand to cup his cheek. But then everything started to fade. Her face started to become blurred. 

"Wait! Not yet, just a few more minutes" he begged softly, trying to hold onto her but he couldn't, something wouldn't let him. 

"I'm sorry Jon," she said quietly, placing a ghost of a kiss on his left cheek before she vanished. 

The next few days felt strange like Jon was in a fog of sorts. He tried to be a bit kinder to the other lads, giving them tips and pointers on their stances and swings during practice. Ser Allister Thorne still seemed to hate him but at least he had a couple people he could talk to. He had gotten a letter from her the previous day. It was a long-winded letter explaining how strange court and the south was, how she finally felt warm for the first time in months and everything else she could think of to say. It brought a smile to Jon's face whenever he read it, which turned into a nightly ritual. He was still thinking of what to write back, or even if he should. 

He needed her to forget him and move on. He needed her happy and if that meant forgetting him he could live with that. He also needed her to be safe. If anyone ever found out about what they did in Winterfell, she'd be shamed, kicked out from the court, killed maybe. He knew Robb would never allow that to happen, that Robb would keep her safe. But from what she told him of what happened at the river, he wasn't sure she could escape the Queen's wrath if it came down to it and Jon wouldn't be able to protect her. 

Never the less, Jon couldn't shake her from his thoughts. He longed to tell her about his time at the wall, his travels, anything he could think of. He was walking along the wall, thinking of how he could tell her about this view when he saw Tyrion, pissing off the edge of the wall. 

"What are you doing?" Jon asked, too tired for formalities. 

"Fulfilling an old ambition of mine, I'm leaving on the morrow" he explains, pulling his pants back up. 

"Well, I'll be sorry to see you go" Jon mumbled earnestly. Tyrion turned and looked at him curiously. 

"Funny, I didn't think you liked me very much" Tyrion mumbled with a laugh. 

"No, I like you well enough" Jon replied. 

"You're one of the few...so what can I do for you, Lord Snow?" Tyrion asked in a teasing manner. 

"I wanted to say goodbye, Castle Black won't be the same without you," Jon said quietly. 

"That's very kind of you, but there's something else, I can sense it," Tyrion said walking over to Jon. 

"The Lady Rhaella Targaryen, I would appreciate it if you would keep an eye on her, make sure she's safe" Jon requested, trying to make it seem more formal than it actually was. 

"Ah, I see. You want to make sure your lady love is safe and sound" Tyrion teased, walking past Jon. 

"She's not my lady love" Jon grumbled, feeling his cheeks start to heat up. 

"Right, of course not. You're at the Wall, she's betrothed to your brother. She's a lady now and you're a bastard. And what would people say about her if they found out she was in love with a bastard? Ned's bastard to be exact" Tyrion lectured his hands crossed behind his back. 

"Hey!" Jon snapped, feeling the anger seize his chest, making his knuckles turn white.

"Of course, I apologize, I'm told I have a big mouth," Tyrion said, hands raised in defense. 

"But I will do as you request, I will make sure she stays out of trouble...any other requests?" he asks. 

"You're a smart man, I would also appreciate it if you could help Bran" Jon asked, taking a deep breath, unclenching his fists. 

"I'll lend my assistance any way that I can" Tyrion replied with the nod of his head. 

"Thank you," Jon said simply, watching as Tyrion walked past him, making his way to the shaft to get down the wall. 

"Of course, we bastards have to stick together" 

"But you're not a bastard" Jon mumbled in confusion. 

"All dwarves are bastards in their father's eyes" Tyrion mumbled back as he walked away. Leaving Jon once more to his thoughts. Thoughts that always wandered back to her. 

It felt odd, lying to Jon. But it was only a minor white lie. In my letter, I told him I had finally felt warm, but that couldn't be any farther from the truth. I still felt cold, but not as often. I did my best to blend in at court, wearing silks and thin dresses, but I kept my hair in a northern hairstyle, with a braid or two. But at night, I still slept with a roaring fire, covered in furs with Winter laying right next to me. 

I stayed in the Red Keep, with the other members of the royal family as I was now their ward. I missed the Stark girls who stayed in the Tower of the Hand. I missed sword practice with Arya and I even missed hearing Sansa's daydreams and rants about Joffery. But I was a lady now, Lady Rhaella Targaryen and I would see them again at the Hand's Tourney. Something I was sure Ned didn't approve of. The castle got lonely very quickly. Winter and I took to wandering it more often than not. In fact, that was about all we did. 

One day while we were wandering around, we stumbled upon the empty throne room and there it was The Iron Throne. It was strange to see it, almost like I was in an alternative universe. A universe where my father sat on that chair and my older brother was next in line to the throne. When Rhaegar was married and in love, with another...when I had an older sister. But everything has changed now, well it didn't really change it was just a strange reality. Looking at that throne, I should have felt connected to it, but I felt more connected to the freezing North than that iron chair. Was it only because Jon was in the north? Was he the only place where I would feel like home? 

"Haunting isn't it?" 

I turned around and Winter moved to stand in front of me as I saw a somewhat large bald man approaching me. 

"Forgive me, I don't believe I know your name" I reply as he walks closer making Winter growl. 

"Apologies my Lady, my name is Varys, your humble servant," he tells me with a slight smile, doing a small bow in front of me. I give a small nod in reply, recalling what other Lords and Ladies called him. Varys the Spider.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Varys, is there something you needed?" I asked wearily, Winter continue to remain close and bare her teeth towards the strange man. 

"Only to introduce myself and offer my services if you should ever require them. Court can be such an overwhelming place and it is hard finding people you can trust. But I wanted to tell you in all honesty that you could trust me. I serve the realm, a realm that doesn't condone the murder of children. So if you ever find yourself in trouble, I'm not far away" he tells me with a smile and a bow before walking past me and out of the room. 

"Well that was strange" I mumble quietly to Winter, scratching between her ears to try and help ease her nerves. Slowly she began to relax and we continued our walk outside of the throne room and back to my chambers. I sat down at my vanity and picked up Robb's letter to read it once more. 

To My Dearest Rhaella,

It feels strange calling you that, even in a letter. Bran has woken but is in a deep depression. Winterfell seems to be doing well despite everyone's absence. My mother hasn't been quite the same since Bran's fall and has left us as well. I am now the Lord of Winterfell during Father's absence and it is quite strange. I think you'd be much better at this than I am and I'll be glad to have your help with it all when you come back. I miss you and wish you well, I can't wait for your return. 

With Love, Robb

It brought a smile to my face to read his letter, but it hurt as well. Honestly, I wish Jon had written me back. I would rather read his letter than Robbs, but this was how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to forget Jon and fall in love with Robb, but I wasn't ready to let him go. I could never let him go. 

I hadn't had another Jon dream since the inn and frankly, I was a little sad. It brought him closer to me, even if it was only for a night. I was still confused and couldn't shake how he kissed my abdomen. He was aware of the time gap between us and still. But I couldn't be...could I? 

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Winter moved to sit at my side, her eyes locked on the door. 

"Come in!" I called, continuing to stare at myself in the vanity, watching through the mirror as Sansa entered my chambers. 

"I still think your chamber is bigger than mine" Sansa teased walking over to me, bringing a smile to my face. 

"You only say that because Arya's chambers are right next to yours" I laugh back as Sansa instantly picked up a hairbrush and moved towards me. This was how we bonded. We'd appear in the others room and start brushing their hair. It usually meant she had something to tell me though or ask me. 

"Have you decided on what you're going to wear to the tourney tomorrow?" she asked as she undid my braids and began to brush out my hair. 

"Something red, silks maybe. What about you?" I ask, my mind still wandering a bit. 

"I'm going to wear my green dress and put my hair up as the southern girls do. You could do your hair like mine and we could match!" Sansa said in excitement as she continued to brush my hair. 

"That sounds really nice, but you know I like to keep my hair down, putting it up like that just gives me a headache" I explain. 

"I...wanted to ask you something" she mumbles to me nervously. There it was.

"Of course, what is it?" I ask her with an easy smile. 

"What...what is it like to bleed?" she asks me, brushing my hair with less confidence than before. 

"Oh, well...it can be a bit painful at times, mainly right before and right as its happening. And after the first few times it happens it becomes routine...your moon cycle will be consistent for the rest of your life, that is until you become with child and then it can change" I explain, trying to think back to when I first got my cycle. 

"When did you get it first?" she continues. 

"When I was eleven, a bit earlier than most girls. Most girls get it between twelve and thirteen but it isn't bad if it happens earlier or later" 

"So how do you know? When it will come?" she asks, stopping and moving to sit on my bed. I turn my chair to face her, racking my brain for memories of when it first happened. 

"Well, you might feel some sharp pains on your sides, cramping in your thighs, head pain, it varies from person to person and after a while, it goes away. Like for me, I get a little cramping in my thighs, but its a cycle, it always happens for me on a full moon, like for most women" I explain.

"So two days ago then?" Sansa asked, making me freeze. Was the full moon truly two days ago? Was I late?

"Right, exactly" I mumbled, quickly plastering on my courtly smile. 

"Is it very messy?" she asks with a scrunch of her nose making me laugh. 

"That depends on the person" I reply, she nods. 

"Well I better get back, septa Mordane said I could only visit for a little while," Sansa tells me as she rises from my bed. 

"Of course, its good to see you, Sansa, I miss you," I tell her honestly with a smile as I get up as well. 

"Feel free to visit whenever you'd like," I tell her as she walks out the door. I quickly move back to my vanity and stare at my reflection, racking my brain for when the previous full moon was, aside from the one two days ago. 

I didn't bleed then either...I remember. It was the first night of our travels...and I thought that I was just late then as well. Has a month really gone by so fast? I placed a hand on my abdomen and looked down at it. Could there really be a child in there? Was there even enough room for one? Oh, gods, how was I supposed to hide this? I couldn't hide it, not for very long. I was supposed to be wed to Robb, what would he think? He's a good man, he would claim it as his...but the child would still be a bastard. 

My thoughts continued to race as I fiddled with my direwolf ring, trying to think up a plan. Wait...the ring. We could say we were wed before we left, too consumed in love to wait! Yes! That was it! But how could I tell him without raising suspicion? 

I paced about the room, praying for answers, praying for Jon to be here to help me. Oh Jon, how could I tell you? I couldn't. He was at the wall...he has probably already taken his vows, a vow not to father children or take a wife. If I told him about what we made, he'd be killed for breaking his vows or desertion. I would just have to tell Robb, write to him about what we supposedly did, that was the only answer. And I couldn't tell Jon, not if it would risk his life. 

I quickly sat back down and grabbed some parchment and a quill. I'd have to word this carefully, knowing that it would probably be read by Varys and the Queen before it reached its destination. 

My Dearest Robb, 

Forgive me my love for I cannot keep our love a secret anymore. Do you remember that night we were wed, in secret in front of the Wirewood tree with the gods and Jon as our witness? Where you gifted me the ring I still wear to this day? Well, the gods have gifted me a child! Can you believe it? You'll be a father soon enough. Forgive me for telling you all of this in a letter but I couldn't wait until our return to tell you the news! Oh my love, please don't be upset with me for telling you this way. I pray we will be reunited and soon. 

Your Loving Wife~Rhaella 

I quickly rolled up the scroll and tied it with an old ribbon of mine, praying to the gods that Robb would go along with this, that he would pretend to be my husband, for the child's sake, Jon's child. It brought tears to my eyes and made my stomach turn sour. I was having Jon's child, a child made purely out of love, and here I was keeping it a secret from Jon and pretending it was Robb's. How could I do this? 

"Marian!" I called, a crack in my voice. My handmaiden quickly entered the room.

"Yes milady?" she asked with a smile. 

"Deliver this to maester Pycelle and have him send it to Robb Stark in Winterfell" I instruct. She takes it from me and curtsies as she leaves the room. 

"Jon, forgive me" I whisper, a few tears escaping my eyes and trailing slowly down my cheeks. I moved up from my vanity and to my bed, deciding a nap would be best to help calm my nerves. Winter seemed to sense my discomfort and jumped onto the bed with me, laying next to me on my right side, the side that faced the door as I slowly drifted off to a troubled sleep. 

I was standing in the snow, dressed in my red silk dress, watching as Jon approached me, tears pricking my eyes. 

"What is it Love?" he asks once he reaches me, taking my hands in his. 

"I think you already know" I answer as he moves his hand and wipes away one of my tears. He gives me a soft smile in return. 

"I do, and I couldn't be happier," he tells me with a genuine smile, bringing a tear-filled smile to my face. 

"You aren't upset with me? With this?" I asked gesturing towards my stomach. He only pulls me in for a passionate kiss, wrapping me up in his arms to hold me close. 

"Never, I couldn't be more in love with you, with both of you" he whispers to me with a sad smile. I offer a smile in return. 

"So we end up back together? If you already know about this, then we must be reunited at some point, right?" I ask, my voice full of hope. His eyes only reveal pain. 

"Yes, we will be," he says quietly, lying I'm sure. But I wanted to believe it so badly I didn't care. 

"I love you, you and her both mean the world to me. I would do anything for you, anything" he tells me in all seriousness, holding me tightly in his arms. 

"Her? It's a she?" I ask, joyful tears continuing to fall down my cheeks. He nods, tears in his eyes as well, but not from joy. 

"And she's beautiful, like her mother," he says softly, moving a few strands of hair out of my eyes. I continue to smile, just being in his arms gave me comfort, even if I knew he was lying. Even if I could distinctly hear the pain and sadness in his voice. 

"I bet she'll be sweet, like her father" I reply, smiling at him, making his tears start to fall. My nerves only heighten, something was wrong. He knew something, something important he wasn't telling me. 

He stays silent as if he didn't know what to say, bringing even more tears to my eyes. 

"That's alright, you don't have to say anything about her..." I mumble, bringing my hand up to cup his stubbly cheeks. 

"But she's ours, no matter what" I whisper, placing a soft kiss on the other side of his cheek. 

"Always" he whispers.


	8. Chapter 8

Robb was at a loss for words. He was brimming with emotions, fear, hurt, worry. He, however, marveled at how resourceful she was, claiming they were already wed in secret, that they were lovers and she was carrying his child when it was all a lie. Seeing the ribbon tied around the scroll, a ribbon he had given to her when she was little, well more like he stole it from his mother to give to her. It was a warning, just as much as her scroll was. She was being watched and carefully. She must have known she couldn't hide a pregnancy for long to be telling him like this. 

He knew he had to protect her, for her sake as much as the babes. He would claim the child that wasn't his, he would pretend he was married to her until they could wed for real. As Robb continued to read the scroll over and over, his mind started to wander, thinking of everyone else that has probably read this note, this subtle plea for his help. He was acting Lord of Winterfell, ever since his mother rode off to go see his father. He was still a child, but so was she. And he had a duty to protect her as her betrothed. Robb grabbed his quill and ink, choosing his words carefully as he wrote his reply, trying to seem overly joyous and in love, even though he felt the exact opposite. 

Once he was finished with his reply, he sealed the scroll and had one of the maids deliver it to maester Luwin. A small smile crept onto his face, thinking about this web of lies they were beginning to spin. And he thought of Jon, the child's real father. Jon, out on the wall, never knowing he was to be a father, or that the girl he loved was going to be in danger. Jon, living in blissful ignorance. Something Robb wished he could do.

Jon now at least had a few companions at Castle Black. Pip, Ed, and Grenn. They were training in the courtyard, under Ser Allister Throne's scrutinizing eyes, Jon was fighting Pip, trying to prove to Throne that he was worthy, that he belonged here. Jon tried not to fight too aggressively against his friend, but he needed to prove himself, meaning Pip got a particularly hard hit to the chest with Jon's elbow. 

"Alright! I yield" Pip said as Jon helped him back to his feet. Thorne started ranting once more, calling him Lord Snow, but Jon was distracted by the incoming of a new recruit, a fat boy who looked to be about Jon's age. He was looking around frantically, fear plastered on his face as if he was about to be jumped by one of them. 

"Fresh meat, who are you, fat boy?" Thorne called down from his vantage point. 

"S-samwell T-Tarly" the boy stuttered, his hands shaking. 

"Well Tarly, gear up and show us what you can do" Thorne ordered, another one of the boys handing Samwell a bit of leather padded chest armor and a practice sword. Samwell slowly slipped on the armor and seemed to have difficulty lifting up the sword. 

"Rast! Give Ser Piggy a test run" Thorne called, a smirk on his face. Rast stepped forward into the center of the ring the boys had formed and gave Samwell and hard hit to the chest, instantly making him fall down to his back. 

"I yield!" Samwell shouted. Rast looked up at Thorne, before continuing to hit Samwell with his sword. 

"That's enough!" Jon shouted, stepping forward into the ring, shoving past Rast and helping Samwell to his feet. 

"Leave it be Lord Snow" Thorne called. 

"He yielded!" Jon shouted back. 

"Looks like Lord Snow has found himself a new lady love, well let's see how well you can defend her, boys!" Thorne shouted, calling out Rast, Pip, and Grenn. The three stepped forward as Jon got into a fighting stance. One after another they came after him and Samwell, but Jon was better than they were and everyone knew it too. The swings of their swords were reluctant, weak, making them easy for Jon to deflect. 

"Alright! I've had enough of this pitiful game! Snow! You and Tarly have sentry duty for the rest of the week. Snow, you're watching The Wall tonight," Thorne called, ending the fighting. Everyone left the courtyard to put away their equipment, leaving Jon with Samwell. 

"Thank you for that, my names Samwell but you can call me Sam" Samwell muttered awkwardly.

"Jon" he answered.

"Why didn't you fight back?" Jon asked him. Sam seemed a bit reluctant to say anything before he spoke.

"I'm a craven" Sam answered as he slowly walked off to put his things away. 

"Did ye hear that? He called himself a coward" Pip muttered walking back over to Jon, along with Grenn. 

"Yeah, we should stay away from the likes of him or we'll be called cowards too" Grenn agreed as they walked to put their things away. The day carried on, as usual, Jon and his friends had supper together briefly before Jon had to head out for the night watch. 

Jon didn't really mind it, he liked wandering the wall at night, looking out into the night, looking out into the haunted forest and up at the moon, the same color as her hair. Gods! Would he never be able to forget her? Why must everything remind him or her? Why couldn't she let him be? Just for a night. 

He stood at his post, looking out over the woods when he heard someone approach him from behind. He turned around and saw Samwell Tarly standing a few feet behind. 

"You didn't have to come, I could have done it alone" Jon mumbled, turning to look back out over the wall. 

"I couldn't just leave you, even if my eyesight is pore...and I'm terrified of heights and this cold really is dreadful" Samwell muttered, keeping a few feet away from the edge. 

"Then why are you here?" Jon asked in a harsh tone, making the other boy jump a bit in his spot. 

"Well, my father gave me a choice you see. When I came of age he said I could either take the black and renounce all my titles to my younger brother or that there would be a hunt and somewhere I would trip and fall on my sword or get thrown from my horse. Or at least that was what he would tell my mother. So I chose the black" he explained. Jon suddenly felt guilty. Sam was a true born heir, and he had it worse than him, a bastard. 

"Come here," Jon said, gesturing for Sam to walk forward. Sam slowly shook his head no. 

"You're gonna have to some time, it might as well be now" Jon reasoned. Sam gave a long sigh and slowly inched his way forward to peer out a bit over the wall. Jon could still see him shaking as he timidly looked out beyond the wall. 

"Wow, its very pretty" Sam muttered with a happy smile. 

"It is, my uncle's out there, ranging" Jon mumbled, looking out beyond the wall as well. They stayed silent for a while after that, just enjoying the view of the moon. 

"I suspect you'll be a ranger too then" Same muttered, as if not wanting to disturb the night. 

"I hope so" Jon mumbled back. They spent the rest of sentry duty just talking with one another, easy topics, like Winterfell and his half-siblings. Sam talked about his younger brother and younger sister, who along with his mother were the only nice ones to him. It was easy to take to Sam, even if he wasn't a bastard he knew what it felt like to be on the outside. 

"So did you have a girl back in Winterfell?" Sam asked, innocently of course but it still hurt Jon to think about her. 

"No" he lied, her face coming to his mind. 

"Ah come on, you must have had someone, I mean just look at you. You with your hair and looking like you do," Sam complimented feebly.

"No, there was no one, you?" Jon said, continuing to lie, trying to get her face out of his mind. But she was beginning to haunt his thoughts the more he tried to dismiss her. 

"No, if you haven't noticed I'm not much to look at, plus I get nervous talking to girls. Especially the pretty ones," he admitted, getting flustered, making Jon smile. 

"But a guy like you? You must have had girls falling at your feet" Sam mumbled. 

"Girls don't tend to think highly of bastards," but not all girls, Jon thought. 

"So you've never...?" Sam muttered, trailing off. 

"No, I haven't," Jon said, continuing his lie. No one could know of his night with her, now that she was a Lady, betrothed to his half-brother Robb. If anyone found out she could be killed. He couldn't let that happen. 

"There was a girl once, we were in her chambers and she had her top off, but I just couldn't do it" Jon mumbled shyly, knowing he'd have to tell his new companion something. 

"Did she have nice..." Sam mumbled gesturing towards his chest. Jon gave a slight chuckle. 

"Very" he answered.

"But you didn't?"

"No"

"Didn't know where to put it?" Sam teased with a smile. 

"I know where to put it, I just thought...what if I got her pregnant? What if I did the same thing to a child that happened to me? Another bastard" Jon mumbled, the truth whispered in his words. He did think of that, the night of the feast when she took him to his chambers and begged him to touch her. 

"Was she pretty?" Sam asked curiously, Jon smiled and nodded slowly, her face coming to his mind. 

"What color was her hair?" Sam continued. 

"Red" Jon lied, it would be too obvious if he said silver. 

"Oh I love redheads," Sam said with a smile, making Jon smile too. Now Jon couldn't stop thinking about her, about what it was like to lay with her, to feel her warmth. If Jon closed his eyes now he would be back in that bed, stroking her silver hair with her head laying on his chest as she looked at him with loving purple eyes. 

"He's gonna make me fight tomorrow" Sam muttered, changing the subject and breaking the spell that had fallen over Jon. 

"He's gonna make me fight I just know it and I'm not a fighter, I'm a reader" Sam continued on hopelessly. But then Jon got an idea. 

"Its gonna be fine Sam, I know it," Jon told him reassuringly. 

Later that night, Jon spoke with his friends about Sam and everything he went through, convincing them he was one of them, and that if Allister made them fight Sam, they wouldn't. 

"Even if we agree, that's not gonna stop Rast," Grenn told Jon, making Pip nod in agreement. 

"Then we gotta convince him," Jon told them, whispering his plan. 

In the dead of night, Jon, Ghost and his two friends crept down the chamber hall and to the recruitment chambers. They slowly moved to Rast's bed, Pip quickly put a bit of cloth in his mouth as Jon whistled for Ghost to hop up. Ghost immediately complied, causing Rast to wake up and almost scream as Ghost snarled in his face. 

"No one touches Sam, do you understand?" Jon asked in the most threatening voice he could muster. Rast nodded quickly with wide eyes, fear written across his face. As they left the room, Ghost snarled some more, slowly getting off of Rast. 

The next morning was a successful one, it took everything in Jon not to smile when Grenn 'fought' Sam. And when Allister told Rast to give him a try Jon glared at him, sending fear through Rast's spine. After that day Thorne may have hated him more, but at least Jon had another friend, something he needed. Friends...and distractions.

I couldn't believe how vast the castle was, so many things to find and discover. I liked wandering the castle halls, especially at night, there was something so calming and soothing about it, just me and Winter, walking the empty halls save for a few knights here and there. It was the night before the tourney of the Hand and I couldn't sleep, my head was filled with worries, worries for the daughter in my body, worries for Jon on the wall and worries for Robb and his reaction. So I spent most of my nights walking, nights like this one. 

I wasn't sure where I was going, I just felt drawn somehow. I was getting deeper and deeper into the castle until I was sure I was underground. Everything was dark and even though there were torches, they seemed to burn dimly. The halls suddenly got strangely narrow, narrow enough that Winter had to walk directly behind me. I feared I was walking into a dead end as the line of torches ended, leaving me and Winter in the dark, but I kept walking. Something made me keep going. 

Finally, the hall opened up into a large room, dimly lit. I hesitantly walked into the room, Winter trotting ahead of me, but I stopped, feeling my heart squeeze in my chest as I looked around the room. All over the room was dragon skulls, tattered and torn Targaryen banners and a few old chests that looked centuries old. 

"This is...incredible" I whisper to myself as I walk deeper into the room. The dragon skulls at the beginning of the room were small, the size of small cats, but as I walked deeper into the dark and musty chamber, the skulls got bigger and bigger, and bigger. As I came to the end of my circling of the room, I approached the largest head of all. 

"You must have been Balerion the Dread, the dragon Aegon the conqueror rode when he came to Westeros" I mumbled to myself, looking at the giant skull before me, so large it filled up its own small portion of the room. I turned around as I heard Winter begin to whimper. I saw her clawing at one of the ancient chests, whimpering at it slightly. 

"What is it?" I asked her as I walked towards her, the skirts of my grey dress fanning out as I sat down in front of the chest. I looked seeing an ancient lock on the outside of the chest. I stared at it as I lightly scratched the top of Winter's head as she sat next to me. My curiosity got the best of me and I tugged on the lock hopefully. 

"Brushing up on your history?" 

I quickly turned around, Winter turning and instantly beginning to snarl. I see a darkly dressed man, with dark hair and a sharp beard looking at me with a smirk. He takes a few steps closer and Winter advances on him, getting in a defensive stance, her snarl growing louder and more fierce. I quickly rise to my feet. 

"Who are you?" I ask quickly, not ready to call Winter off just yet. 

"Forgive me, my lady, allow me to introduce myself, my name is Lord Petyr Baelish," he says introducing himself. Winter continues to snarl at the man, still uncomfortable by his presence. 

"It's alright Winter," I tell her softly. She snarls at him once more before dropping her defensive stance to move to my right side, staying close to me. 

"Lord Baelish, it's a pleasure, please forgive Winter, she's a tad possessive and isn't too keen when it comes to strangers" I explain. 

"No worries, although I am a tad curious as to what you're doing down here late at night, alone," he tells me in what feels like a manipulative tone. 

"I might ask the same of you" I reply as he begins to pace around, eyeing me in a way that made me feel insecure and vulnerable. 

"My mind tends to be at its most active at night, I like to wander, it tends to calm my thoughts" he explains, looking about the room with ease as if he owned it, a dangerous trait to have. 

"Let me guess, you saw me wandering as well and decided to follow me? Or was it one of your spies?" I ask, hearing Varys' words echo through my ears, trust no one. It was only an assumption but I could see that I had surprised him with it. 

"You have a suspicious mind, a wise thing to have in a place like this," he tells me with a sly smile. 

"So I've been told, is there something you wanted Lord Baelish?" I ask. 

"Only to offer my congratulations," he tells me with a smile, taking a step closer. 

"Congratulations, for what might I ask?" 

"Why for your pregnancy, and secret marriage to Robb Stark, future Lord of Winterfell," he tells me with a smile. I do my best to hide the shock on my face, but I fail. I suspected I would be discovered, but not this quickly and certainly not by someone like Lord Baelish.

"Thank you, my Lord, that is rather kind of you" I answer back with an uneasy smile, he gives me a gracious nod in return. 

"Forgive me but I couldn't help but notice you trying to open up that chest," he tells me, striding closer to me. I can feel my cheeks heat up from embarrassment. 

"No worries child, I admit I have been down here trying to open up that chest myself, just to take a peek at what's inside," he says softly, moving his gaze from me to the chest behind me. 

"Why don't you force it open then?" I ask, glancing back at the ancient chest. 

"It's composed entirely of iron and the lock doesn't appear to have a keyhole. The contents of the chest are rumored to be delicate, so it can't be forced open. Quite a puzzle isn't it?" he tells me. 

"I suppose" I mumble back. 

"It's rumored that only one of Aegon's descendants could open it, so you can imagine my dismay when you weren't able to" he continues, but I remain silent. 

"I suspect there is something else you want, aside to give me congratulations" I announced, trying to figure out his game, his angle. 

"You're right, I want to be your ally" 

"My ally?" I ask, slightly confused. I was still no one, even if I was Lady Rhaella Targaryen now, I was still no one. No lands, no power, only a name and even then most days it felt like the wrong one. 

"You're going to need friends here at court, people you can trust, especially now with your situation. There will be plots against you, more so than before" he explains. 

"There's been plots against me?" I ask, slightly shocked at the notion. 

"Oh yes, numerous ones, mainly from the queen. She fears you, that you will disrupt the line of succession because you're a Targaryen, you're a threat" he continues on.

"And you want to help me?" I ask hesitantly. 

"I do. I want to help lead you in the right direction" he says with a smile, crossing his arms behind his back, looking at me expectantly. 

"That's very kind of you Lord Baelish, but I'll need some time to consider your offer" I mumble, wishing I could back away from him. His mere presence made me uncomfortable.

"Of course my Lady I'd expect nothing less," he tells me, giving me a respectful bow before exiting the chamber. Afterward, I made my way with Winter back to my chambers, falling into a dreamless sleep. 

The next day my maids dressed me in a fiery red silk dress and put my hair up in a large braided bun. Sansa came and joined me so that we could walk to the tourney together. 

"Rhaella you look gorgeous! You look like a real princess" she tells me with a smile as she walks towards me in her green dress. 

"Not as beautiful as you" I reply, smiling at her simple long-sleeved green dress that matched her hair perfectly. She blushed at my words and linked our arms together, leading us out of my chambers and down the Red Keep's halls, guards trailed after us at a respectable distance. They were a constant reminder that nothing is kept secret, no one is safe. 

"Do you think Joffery will like my dress?" Sansa asks me hopefully as we continue our walk from the castle. 

"He'd be insane not to," I tell her with a smile. I was becoming paranoid, it felt like everyone at court knew about me and my situation. How was I supposed to play this game? I was a child, even if I was a Lady I still felt like a Snow. I would always be a Snow, but how could I move from a Snow to a Dragon? I needed to get better and start playing aggressively. 

"Sansa, there's something I wanted to tell you," I told her, stopping our walk just outside of the tourney stands. She turns and looks at me expectantly, with that sweet innocent smile of hers. Oh child, so ignorant of the game that's being played right in front of you. 

"Before we left Winterfell, Robb and I got married, in secret in front of the old Wirewood tree, and well, we're going to have a child," I tell her with a happy grin. The story may have been a lie, but the joy behind my smile wasn't. I couldn't be happier to have something of Jon's with me, always. 

"I knew it! I knew that's what you two were doing!" Sansa squealed with delight. 

"Wait what?" I asked. 

"The day we left, I was trying to find Robb and I saw you two in front of the Wirewood tree. Your hands clasped and the kiss. Oh, I wish you would have told me! I would have been a witness! But I am so happy for you! Does that mean you'll be leaving for Winterfell soon? Oh, have you told father? I'm sure he'll be pleased" Sansa said, continuing to ramble on in excitement. I knew I saw some red hair that day. But this was good, she could confirm my story to others. This would work in my favor. 

"Woah, not so fast. I've only just told Robb and I'm still expecting his reply. For now, this has to be our secret do you understand?" I tell her, grabbing her by the sides of her arm to look into her eyes, making sure she heard my words. 

"Of course! I won't tell a soul" she tells me with a smile before linking her arm back with mine, leading us to our seats. We were about to sit down, at the bottom right of the stands when the queen approached. 

"Your majesty" Sansa and I both said, giving polite curtsies in greeting. 

"You both look lovely, Lady Targaryen, as a ward of the King you will be sitting with us as befitting your station," she tells me with what could be perceived as a warm smile, but it only sent shivers down my spine. 

"I'd be honored your majesty," I tell her with a smile. She only gives a smile and moves towards the royal box. I bid Sansa farewell with a nervous smile and moved up towards the royal box, about to take a seat next to the queen's daughter, Marcella. 

"Oh no child please, sit next to me," the queen told me with a smile, patting the bench that sat next to her chair. I nervously moved closer to the queen, slowly taking a seat on her right. 

"Thank you, your Majesty this is quite an honor, one I'm not sure I deserve," I say, choosing my words carefully, remembering Lord Baelish's words, I was a threat. She wanted me gone. 

"Nonsense, you are an honored guest of the King, and future Lady of Winterfell," she tells me with a sly smile, with something hidden behind it, something dark. 

"That's very kind of you to say," I tell her with a smile as we both turn to watch the beginning of the first joust. 

"Oh I also wanted to give you this," she tells me casually, holding a scroll out for me, lazily, between her fingers. I take it hesitantly and notice the broken dire wolf seal. I slowly unscroll it and read.

My Love, 

I couldn't be happier! I only wish I was there to revel in our joy. I bid you and our child return to Winterfell at once, I cannot spare another moment without looking upon your face and holding you in my arms. I need you here with me, you and the child. Hurry back my love, before I die from the wait. 

Love, Robb

I could feel my heart start to race. She knew. Gods only know who told her. 

"I see congratulations are in order," she tells me. 

"T-thank you, your Majesty," I say, cursing the crack in my voice at my words. 

"Fear not child, I understand what it's like to hide your love away from prying eyes," she tells me softly, whispering as everyone applauds the first joust. 

"You do?" I ask hesitantly, fearing my secret was out. Could she know about Jon? 

"I was young once, hard to picture I know but it's true. Young and in love, but then I was sold off to Robert and that ended that. I am happy for you child, truly and if it were up to me I would send you back to Winterfell to be with your future lordling love. But it is not up to me" she tells me with a heavy sigh. 

I was caught off guard. Was the queen truly on my side? Or was she just trying to get rid of me? My mind was racing, trying to figure out an answer. What was my next move? What was her next move? Then she held another scroll between her fingers. 

"You're a clever girl, I'll give you that, but not clever enough" she whispers in a harsher tone than before, as I take the other scroll. 

Emylea, 

It's hard being here at the wall, harder than I thought it would be, but I'm not sure if its hard because of the cold, or because you aren't here. I miss you, more than I'd care to admit. I hope you are faring well in the capital and I'm glad to hear you are no longer cold. I wish I could show you the view from the top of the wall, it's the most beautiful thing you'll ever see. But not quite as beautiful as you. I wish you well and pray to hear again from you soon.

With Love, Jon

I slowly looked up at the queen after reading my scroll and she smirked at me knowingly. 

"When you play the game child, you need to be clever, cunning and ruthless. You have one, but you won't survive without the others, not here, and certainly not like that"


	9. Chapter 9

The Queen's words shook me to my core. She knew, even if I didn't know for sure what it was she knew, I had to assume she knew everything. 

"So tell me because I'm actually quite curious, is the child Robb Starks or the bastards?" she asks languidly, taking a sip from her goblet of wine. I couldn't speak, I had suddenly become stupid with fear. I was caught, I was trapped. The lioness had me backed into a corner and was ready to strike. I needed to think quickly, if I waited too long she would sink her claws into me and rip me apart. Gods where were my words?!

"The child is Robb Starks, there has been no one else. He is my Lord and husband, and the love of my life. There will never be anyone else" I tell her, passion radiating off of my voice and I thanked the gods for it. It seemed to pacify the queen at least, if only for a moment. 

"Of course, forgive me, but just reading those scrolls, I couldn't help but wonder. You and the bastard seem close after all. Especially given the nature of the first raven scroll you wrote to him" she continues, taking another sip from her goblet as the crowd continues to cheer on the jousters. 

"We shared a last name, nothing more" I reply, trying to sound emotionless, trying to be ruthless and cunning as she told me. 

"Really? Prove it, write back to this Jon Snow, tell him that you're in love with Robb and having his child and never to speak to you again" she hisses at me, an evil glimmer in her eyes.

"Bring me a quill and it's done" I answer, not even thinking about what I was saying. Not thinking about anything other than myself and my child. She gives me a satisfied smirk and redirects her attention to the joust. 

"You can compose your scroll and give it to maester Pycell, he'll make sure it gets delivered in a timely fashion. You have until the end of the night" she mumbles and slowly takes another drink.

I try to focus on the joust, but I watch with empty eyes as Loras Tyrell hands Sansa a favor before he gets ready for his turn. Knight of flowers they called him. He was so young, my age really, but so pale and blonde. Nothing like Jon. Oh, gods how could I do this? To break his heart would be to break my own. How could I do this? How could I write that scroll? How could I live a life of Jon hating me? How could I just push him away and toss him aside? 

But then I remembered why. I subconsciously placed a hand on my abdomen, trying to hold and protect the baby within me. Jon's baby. Even if it would kill him, I would have to do it for her. From now and until the day I died, she was all that mattered. I remained at the tourney and when it was over I quickly walked off and away from the stands, to where Winter was waiting for me by the bushes.

"Hey girl," I tell her with a sad smile, kneeling down to run my hands through her fur, fighting off the tears that threatened to fall down my cheeks. 

"My lady, are you unwell?" I heard Varys ask me from behind. I take a deep breath and stand back up, turning to face him with a smile plastered across my face. 

"No Varys, I'm quite well" I answer, laying my right hand on top of my left as I stand there to face him. He looks at me skeptically. 

"Forgive me if I don't believe you, it's no offense to you my Lady, but it does take practice to perfect the art of the lie," he tells me with a sympathetic smile, making the breath catch in my throat. Ruthlessness, the Queen was right, if I wanted to survive I'd have to become ruthless, I'd have to let go of my emotions, I have to let go of Jon. 

"Is there something you wanted?" I ask, trying to cut the emotion out of my voice, but it remained. I had to clear my throat to stop the crack in my voice. 

"A moment of your time if you'd please. If I may accompany you back to the castle?" he asks, rather boldly as he offers up his arm for me to take. I take his arm slowly and Winter rises to walk with us. We begin our walk rather slowly, behind everyone else, a safe distance from curious ears. 

"I wished to be the first to congratulate you, both on your wedding and the child, but I fear others got to you first," he says softly. I keep quiet, not sure how to reply, or how long I would be able to continue this lie. I couldn't lose this game. 

"It seems that you are not the only one in your family with a reason to celebrate" he whispers hurriedly. We both stop as I give him a confused look. 

"Are you speaking of my sister?" I whisper back. He gives a small nod. 

"There will be a small council meeting later today, I trust you know where, and we're discussing the very topic" he continues, staring at me hopefully. I nod to show him I understand and we begin our walk once more. 

"I suspect you were the one who told the Queen of my joyous news?" I say softly, this time the emotion was out of my voice and I appeared confident. I was learning. 

"Naturally, it is my job to inform and serve, it seemed only appropriate to tell her Majesty of your new found happiness" he confesses. But it was a warning, he may be trying to help me, but I had to be careful about what I put in writing.

"Of course, but I had wished to tell the Queen myself" I quip back. 

"The Queen is not a patient woman, my lady, if there is news to be shared she will know about it before the day is out" he explains. We entered the castle and he stops, causing me to let go of his arm. 

"Thank you for the company my lady, but I'm afraid I have other matters that need attending, I must hurry if I don't wish to be late," he tells me, giving me a polite bow before walking down a different hallway, towards the throne room. 

"Come on Winter, how about we take another turn about the castle?" I suggest, trying to kill time and find the council chamber. She only continues to walk ahead of me, causing me to follow her. I couldn't stop my mind from wandering, they drifted from the Queen to Varys, Robb, Winterfell, and Jon. Maybe I could run? Winter and I could escape through the castle's crypts, we could make our way down the King's road and back to Winterfell and from there the wall. We could do it, it wasn't impossible, only dangerous. With my condition who knows how long I would be able to handle the walk, or if I would make it in time. I was so lost in my thoughts that I accidentally walked into one of the King's guards. 

"Be careful my lady" he tells me, placing his hands on my shoulders to steady me. 

"Forgive me ser, I'm afraid I was lost in my thoughts" I explain to the only knight, giving him a gentle smile. He smiles back. 

"No worries my lady, your brother use to do the same thing," he tells me with an easy smile.

"You knew Rhaegar?" I ask curiously. His smile only grows. 

"I was his personal guard before the uprising, he would wander the castle when he was younger, and he would tell me some days he would be walking and not understand how he got there, it caused him to get lost a couple times in his youth" he tells me with a warm smile, the memory seeming to please him. I can't help but smile as well. 

"I wish I had met him" I admit and his smile turns into one full of sorrow and regret. 

"Forgive me ser, but I don't believe I caught your name" 

"Ser Selmy Barristan, my lady," he tells me with a respectful bow. 

"It was a pleasure to meet you ser Barristan," I tell him with a smile. 

"You as well my lady" he smiles back, bowing before he continues to walk away. Winter and I continue to walk as well, slowly making our way to the throne room where I suspected the council chambers were located. We entered the empty throne room and both stopped to look at the throne. Winter approached it curiously while I followed behind her slowly. This chair was the death of my father and the collapse of my house. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed cursed to me. 

I watched as Winter sniffed the base of the throne before she continued to walk into the back. I followed her down the hall and told her to stop once we reached a set of oak doors. She sat obediently at my side as I peeked through the crack of the door. I could see Ned's back, the King, Varys, Renly, and Lord Baelish. 

"She's only a child!" Ned shouted. 

"She's a threat if one day her Khal and her child come to overthrow me..." The King bellows back. 

"The Dothraki are afraid of the narrow sea, they will never cross and the babe is not yet born" Ned tries to reason. 

"And if she gives birth to a son? I can't take that risk, she needs to be eliminated before the problem can turn into a threat!" 

"You're condoning the murdering of a child! A child who has shown no threat to you or the Seven Kingdoms!" 

"Stand down Ned! I am King and you are the hand! She will be executed and that is final!" the King shouts. 

"What of her sister, the one here at court?" Lord Baelish asks curiously "It's rumored she's with a child as well"

"She's only a child herself and she's pledged loyalty to you, Robert, she isn't a threat, just like her sister," Ned tries to reason. 

"Not yet, what if she decides to join forces with her sister? What if she's a spy plotting my death?" Robert says. 

"Who has put these words in your mouth, the Robert I know would never suggest such a thing" Ned spits back at him. The King stayed silent, and Ned got his answer, as did I. 

"I never knew you to bend to the whims of women" Ned spits, cause Robert to lash out at him, but Ned takes the pin off his shirt and places it on the table before him. I can't hear what he whispers, but it can't be good because Ned turns towards the door and starts to quickly storm out. As I see him approach I quickly try to make my way down the hall so he doesn't see me. 

"Rhaella?" I freeze and slowly turn around. He stands a little ways away with Winter sitting by his left. 

"Lord Stark, what a surprise," I tell him, feeling my smile turn into one full of guilt. He releases a heavy sigh and strides over to me. 

"Come, we have much to discuss," he says softly and walks past me. Winter and I follow him to the Hands tower and his private study. Once I enter he shuts the door and moves to sit at his desk. I stand there awkwardly in my red silk dress, watching as he sits down and pours himself a cup of wine. 

"Sit, please," he asks and pours another cup. I slowly move to the chair opposite his desk and sit, Winter moves to my right side and sits as well. 

"How much did you hear?" he asks as he hands me the cup. 

"Enough" I answer, taking a small sip of the wine. He nods and takes a long drink out of his own cup. 

"Is it true? Are you with child?" he questions, staring at me. I nod, not trusting my voice. He sighs and takes another long drink before pouring himself another cup. 

"I won't ask who's it is...but you aren't safe here. I am no longer the hand, I and the girls are going to be leaving as soon as we are able, we're going to go back to Winterfell and you can't come with us" he tells me sternly. 

"Why not? Winterfell is my home, I am betrothed to your son and heir, where else could I go?" I ask helplessly. I was playing a woman's game but I'm was only a girl. I can't survive here alone...we can't survive here alone. 

"You could travel across the narrow sea, to your sister, out of reach and away from my family. I'm sorry, but my family comes first and if the Queen found out I took you back to Winterfell with me, my family would be the ones taking the punishment" he tries to explain. He looks at me sadly, the man I once thought of as a father, was abandoning me. 

"I would never want to cause your family harm, but it is your families blood that runs through my child, I need to protect her and you said so yourself I'm not safe here. If I'm not safe than neither is she. Please, Lord Stark, I beg you, take me with you" I say, doing my best not to cry. He seems to be doing the same. 

"If you can escape on your own, if you are very careful and can make your way North, we will offer you protection, always, but you cannot leave when we do, I will not put a target on my children's backs" he says, trying to be gentle but it only comes out cold and stern. I don't notice my tears until they start to blur my vision. I don't wipe them away, I want him to see my pain. I want him to see how he is condemning me and my child to death. 

"Leave, run and never come back do you hear me? Find supplies and take a good horse, and be gone" he tells me harshly. I set my cup down on his desk and rise back up to my feet. 

"Farewell Lord Stark" I answer emotionless and turn to the door, Winter follows and walks out of the room before me. But as I close the door I hear him mutter "may the gods forgive me". 

Winter and I slowly make our way from the Tower of the Hand back to the Red Keep, back to my chambers. As we enter I close the door shut behind me and look around the room. Thinking of what I would need. As I started looking for a more hardy dress there's a knock on my door. 

"Come in" I call, taking a deep breath and bringing a smile back to my face. My smile quickly becomes real when I see Sansa entering my chambers. 

"Sansa!" I say with a relieved sigh, quickly moving towards her and giving her a hug. She stumbles a bit at my sudden encounter but gently hugs me back. 

"Is something wrong? I didn't see you when you left the tourney, did something happen?" she asks me as I lead her to my bed, both of us taking a seat on the right side.

"I'm leaving," I tell her. 

"What leaving? We've only just gotten here, you can't leave" she begs silently. I give her a soft smile. 

"I need to go be with my husband Sansa, by the time I make it back, the child will be almost due. I want him to be able to look upon her when I do" I tell her, the lie easily falling off my lips. I hated how easy it was to lie to her. 

"That's very romantic, but you can't go alone, is the Queen sending guards and maids with you?" she asks me curiously. 

"The Queen and King don't know that I'm leaving...it's a secret do you understand? No one must know" I tell her, giving her a stern look. 

"I understand, but if you have to keep it a secret from the Queen should you really be doing this? Maybe she could send for Robb and he could stay with you here and live here with all of us" she offers up hopefully. Oh sweet child, if only you knew the truth. 

"It's not that simple Sansa, I have to go back North," I tell her. 

"But...but you almost died from the cold! If you go back to the cold you could be putting your life at risk, yours and the baby's" she reasons, making me falter. I had forgotten, the reason I came south in the first place, my body can't handle the cold. 

"It's not yet Winter, I'll cover my self in fur coats and I'll have Winter to sleep by, she'll keep me warm" I counter, acting as if I've already thought this through, as if this plan was well thought out and calculated, not a rash decision made within an hour. 

"No! You can't put your life at risk! You're carrying my niece or nephew, I won't let you run away and risk your lives!" she snaps at me stubbornly. 

"Sansa I'll be fine-"

"No! If you go I'll...I'll tell the Queen, I'll ask her to bring you back here, where it's safe" she threatens. 

"You wouldn't," I say, feeling my heart start to beat faster. My stomach starts to cramp up and my hands start to shake with fear. 

"I would! If you are going to put yourself and the baby in danger I'll tell the queen and she'll make you stay" Sansa continues, her voice shaking a bit as she makes her threat. She stands up from the bed to look at me and she gives me a stubborn look, the Stark look. The look Robb gave me when we last spoke. The look Jon gave me about going South. 

"Sansa please, don't do this, I need to go to Robb, don't keep me from him," I beg as she looks down at me. 

"Then ask the Queen to send for him, I'm sorry but there is no other way. Now, do you promise to stay? Do you promise to stay here?" she asks me in all seriousness. I look at her, pleading with my eyes for her not to do this, but she stands there, unwavering, awaiting my answer. 

"I promise," I tell her softly, hating myself for how easily the lie rolls off my tongue. Has this place already corrupted me? How many more lies would I have to tell? How many more lies before I drowned in them? 

"Good," she tells me with a sigh of accomplishment. Oh, how I wanted to hate her for it, for how easily she was influenced, for the spell she was under, but I couldn't. I couldn't hate her for the things she didn't know, or for believing in a fantasy. If anything I envied her for it. 

"I'm sorry if I upset you, but I couldn't live with myself if something bad happened to you, or the baby," she tells me with a look full of regret. I hold out my arms and pull her into a hug. 

"It's alright, I understand. I want you to be safe as well" I mumble into her red hair, kissed by fire. Wouldn't it be more fitting if I had red hair and her hair was white? She was a lady of Winterfell, a true northerner, she should be kissed by snow. I was the blood of the dragon and old Valyria, a Targaryen, a girl of fire and blood, so why isn't my hair kissed by fire? 

"Are you truly alright? Do you need anything? I can feel you shaking" she says as she pulls away from the hug, looking me over like a mother looks over her child. Why did she have to be tall like her brothers?

"I'll be alright, I just need some rest is all," I tell her softly, feigning weakness. She nods in understanding and makes for the door while I sit back down on the right side of my bed. I watch as she leaves and I wait, listening to her steps walk away from my chamber. I sit on the bed, weighing my options. Sansa wouldn't forgive me but in time she'd come to understand. I couldn't wait any longer, I had to leave. Now. 

I quickly got back up and changed, to my old grey dress and riding boots. I pulled on an old brown cloak and pulled up the hood. I grabbed my direwolf necklace and gave it a squeeze for luck. I looked around my room for anything else I might need, but there's nothing. 

"Ready Winter?" I ask. She rises and walks over to me and follows me to the door. I open it slowly and peek my head out, no guards thank the gods. I quickly made my way down the halls, Winter at my heels. I couldn't quite remember how I got to the crypts, so I trusted my gut and let my feet do the walking for me. I felt like I couldn't move fast enough, my feet were unable to catch up with the moving ground underneath me. But soon enough I found myself in the crypts, in the room full of dragon skulls. 

I don't know why, but I was drawn to the chest. I immediately kneeled before it and purely out of instinct, I laid my hand on the lock. Somehow I knew the lock had to be melted and I'm not sure why, but I thought I could melt it. I tried, but I couldn't conjure my heat. It had to be there, somewhere deep inside of me, I could feel it simmering, but I couldn't reach it. Then Winter started whimpering. 

"What is it, girl?" I asked, keeping my focus on the lock. But her whimpers turn into growls, causing me to rise to my feet. I back up against a wall as I watch guards come pouring into the room and right behind them, was the Queen. 

"Ah, there you are child, trying to run?" she asks me with a sick smirk on her face. I open my mouth to respond but she answers my question first. 

"Don't act so surprised, once you told darling Sansa your plans she came running to me, concerned about you and the baby. Loyal thing isn't she?" she says mockingly. I glare at her. 

"You want me to leave anyway, why not just let me go? I could die on my journey, isn't that what you want?" I counter, trying to find a way out of this, hiding the hurt from my voice. I couldn't believe she'd betray me, she was a sister to me...

"Yes it was what I wanted, but things have changed. Guards, escort Lady Rhaella back to her chambers and make sure she stays there. I want her under guard night and day to make sure she doesn't pull another stunt like this again" she says with venom in her voice. One of her guards makes his way over to me and roughly grabs my arm, causing Winter to snarl.

"It's alright Winter," I say, trying to calm her down, knowing that the Queen would have her killed in an instant. 

"You can keep the wolf with you, as a sign of my gratitude, oh and I still need that scroll," she tells me almost sweetly. She gestures her head towards the exit of the chamber and the guards drag me out, Winter follows. I'm practically thrown into my room and Winter comes to my side, rubbing her nose comfortingly against my arm as tears start to fall down my cheeks. I lay a hand on my stomach, trying to hold my child, trying to comfort it and in turn comfort myself. How? 

I was now a hostage, something must have happened. They need me somehow, to get to Robb? To get to Sansa? For what? I was a pawn in the game, no longer a player. But I had to win, if not for me than for my child. 

Jon, 

I don't understand why you keep writing, I thought you understood that there was nothing between us when I married your brother and you bore witness. I now carry his child inside me, we are bonded by this child now for life. Something no one else can share with me. This will be my last raven to you, and I pray you do not reply because there is no reason to, you are nothing Jon, only a bastard on the wall, don't forget that. 

~Rhaella Targaryen Stark, future Lady of Winterfell and wife to Robb Stark future Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North.


	10. Chapter 10

It didn't make any sense. As his eyes carefully examined every word, every letter she had written, and it didn't make any sense to him. He knew she was trying to tell him something, just from how harsh her words were, and the lies she told. He tried to deny the truth in her words, that she was with child. Because Gods know she didn't marry Robb, that she never slept with Robb, only him...gods that was his child inside of her...he was going to be a father. 

For a moment, Jon forgot himself, forgot that he was on the wall, forgot that he had the oath to take. For one single moment, all Jon felt was an utter joy. But then he remembered, he remembered where he was, where she was and her betrothal to his brother Robb. No wonder she was so cruel, no one could suspect Jon to be the father, for her sake as well as his. He could tell from the scroll that she was in danger, she hated using titles, calling herself future Lady of Winterfell is something she would never do. This scroll was a warning, a warning of the danger she was in, a warning to keep his distance from her. 

Jon didn't know what to feel. His moment of joy was over and in its place was fear, and worry. This was his fault, wasn't it? But he couldn't bring himself to regret what they did, only that it was causing her so much trouble. But one day, she would return to Winterfell, one day she would be out of danger and he'd ride to Winterfell and see her and hold his child in his arms, a child that would be called Robb's. It would kill him, seeing her with another, even if it was his brother, but he could handle it, as long as he got to see her and his child. It wouldn't be long now before he was a sworn brother. Before Emylea would return to Winterfell and he would go visit. Everything would be fine, it had to be. 

Gods, if you're up there, keep her safe from harm, her and the babe

He silently sent up his hopeful prayer and tucked the scroll under his bed, drifting back off to sleep. 

Here he was. Somehow he wasn't surprised, but relieved, he needed to see her, speak to her. He was dressed in the black cape and armor like before, and he was standing in his small patch of snow, surrounded by the vast grassy landscape. And there she was, in her long, red flowing silk dress. She was so beautiful, words couldn't describe what he felt when he saw her. He wanted to run to her, to pick her up and kiss her deeply. But she only walked to him slowly with a soft smile on her lips. 

"I didn't expect to see you so soon," she admitted, offering him her right hand. He took it and stepped out of the snow and pulled her into him. He hugged her tightly before pulling back and crashing his lips against hers. Her lips seemed almost to burn him, but he didn't care. Once they broke away he cupped her soft cheeks in his gloved hands.

"What was that for?" she asked with a breathless smile. 

"I love you so much, do you know that? And I'm sorry I can't be there with you when the child is born but I'm still here, " he said quickly, trying to get out all of his words before he was whisked away yet again. Her smile darkened at his words. 

"What is it?" he asked, her smile disappearing completely and being replaced with tears. 

"Emylea, tell me, what's wrong? Is it the child?" he asked, starting to sound a bit frantic, his voice laced with panic and fear.

"It's a she," she told him with a tear-filled smile.

"And she's beautiful" she continues, her voice cracking. 

"Did something happen?" he asks emotionlessly, fearing the worst. 

"Not yet, not in your world", she replied back, her voice deprived of emotion, deprived of feeling. 

"Tell me, so I can fix it...please just tell me" he begged, tears starting to well up in his eyes as well. She shakes her head. 

"She's so beautiful Jon, so beautiful" she whispered absently, stepping back from him. Back and away. He tried to step towards her but his feet were trapped in the snow. 

"Emylea?" he asks, she shakes her head. 

"It's Rhaella now" 

I needed to get warm, I needed to be hot. 

"Marian, draw me a bath please, boil the water" I order my handmaiden.

"Right away my lady" she replies before she walks out of the room. My chambers, more like my prison. I had been in here a week at the least, sure I was free to roam about the palace grounds, but I had two guards who followed my every move and who made Winter on edge. I didn't want to roam about for fear of risking Winter's life. Her life and mine for that matter all depended on obedience. Obedience to the Queen and her guards. 

I sat at my vanity, Winter laying by my feet as I brushed my hair and occasionally nibbled on the food that was brought to me. I wanted to refuse, refuse the food and let my body succumb to starvation, but I didn't have just me to think about anymore. I had her. My pregnancy was becoming slightly more apparent, I had a very small bump on my stomach that looked like it could be bloating to anyone who didn't suspect. Staring into my mirror I could see how pale I had become, the unkemptness of my hair, my visible weakness. 

I almost jumped when the guards came in, carrying the large bronze tub into the center of my room. After the guards came maids with buckets full of steaming hot water. I watched as they filled up the tub and added some lavender to the water, no doubt they could see the circles under my eyes. Once the tub was full all of the maids left except for Marian. She helped me undress and into the tub. 

"My Lady are you sure? The water is boiling hot, it's not good for you or the babe" she warned as I sunk into the water. It didn't burn me as I predicted, it was soothing, the heat seemed to cradle me and pull me into a loving embrace. It wasn't painful, it was pleasurable. 

"Don't be afraid Marian, I'm fine," I told her, trying to soothe her nerves as the water soothed mine. I could feel the heat inside me start to rise to the surface of my skin. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of being hot while Marian started tending to my hair. I felt her brushing it out and pulling it into braids, pinning them to the top of my head into a bun. 

"Will there be anything else my lady?" she asks me politely as she rises to her feet. 

"No, thank you, Marian," I tell her with a gracious smile. She smiles politely back and exits the room, leaving me to my bath and my thoughts. I couldn't help but look at the small swell of my belly, laying my right hand on top to try and hold the child inside, to try and reach her, my last connection to Jon. 

"You know, your father is a very brave man" I whispered, wondering if she could hear me. Winter did however, she lifted her head up and moved to lay by the hot tub, putting her head back down to sleep. 

"He's sweet and kind and loves you very much. I'm sure he's excited to meet you, almost as excited as I am. I bet you'll have his raven black curls, and his soft smile, perhaps his dark brown eyes as well" I mutter absently, getting lost in my thoughts, trying desperately to conjure his image into my mind. When I closed my eyes, I could feel him. I could feel my head on his chest and the beating of his heart, the warmth of his arms wrapped around me, that soft smile he reserved only for me. 

Closing my eyes brought me back to that bed in Winterfell. I was back with him and he was stroking my hair and looking at me with such love. My head laid on his chest as I let myself be held and relaxed into his touch. 

My daydreams were interrupted by the knock on my chamber door. 

"Who is it?" I call.

"It's Sansa" a soft voice called back.

I could instantly feel my temperature rising with my anger and feelings of betrayal. How dare she come here?

"Go away" I called back, trying to keep my temper at bay. 

"Please? I only wanted to..."

"I said go away, Sansa!" I shouted, unable to reign in my anger. 

"But..."

"Do as I say and leave!" I shout, keeping my eyes closed, trying to get back to where I was with Jon. I hear silence from the other end of the door and the sound of fading footsteps. I sighed in relief. I couldn't see Sansa, not unless I wished to lash out at her, which I didn't. All we needed was space from one another, but I don't know if I could ever forgive her for trapping me here, for keeping me away from him and making me a hostage. 

I finished the rest of my bath in silence, thinking of what it would be like if I was back at Winterfell with Jon and I didn't have to lie. I would hope he'd be happy. I know he would insist on us getting married, he would never subject his child to what he had to go through. He would love her with all his heart and then some. Maybe we'd live in a cottage just outside of Winterfell, the three of us. We could have been so happy...but I have to stop thinking about that. I can no longer daydream about what could have been, I must focus on what is. 

I called Marian back into my chamber and she helped me out of the tub and into my robe. I took my time getting dressed. I was wearing a golden silk dress, a Lannister dress. The Queen's cruel way of claiming me I suppose. It was long sleeved and heavy, something made for winter living, not the summer. I couldn't help but smile, she was unintentionally helping me with my plans. 

After I was fully dressed, Marian escorted me and Winter to the throne room. I was more than shocked to see Eddard Stark sitting on the Iron Throne. Just from looking at him I could see he was injured, a cast wrapped tightly around his leg and he looked pained to be sitting on the throne. It was only simple matters he was dealing with...Kingly matters. What happened to the king? I wondered. I spotted Sansa on the other side of the room but thankfully she didn't see me enter. 

"Do you see Arya Stark anywhere?" I ask Marian. I hadn't spoken to Arya since our arrival, I couldn't remember how long ago that was. 

"I don't my lady, would you like to go look for her?" she asks me almost robotically. 

"Yes I would, you don't have to come with me unless you'd like to," I tell her with a soft smile, trying to help her soften up a little. 

"I am to accompany you everywhere my lady, you know that," she says, in an almost scolding tone. She was only a year or two older than I was with dark curly hair and small breasts. She was beautiful, regardless if she was a spy. I wasn't quite sure who she was spying for, the Queen? Littlefinger? Varys? Anyone really, that's why she followed and watched me like a hawk. 

"Right then, shall we start looking in the Hand's Tower?" I suggest. She only nods curtly and follows me as I walk from the Red Keep to the tower. Winter remains close to my left side, Marian on my right and two guards walking a few feet behind us. I missed my freedom, how was I ever going to escape if I was going to be watched this persistently? 

The walk was a silent one, only the sounds of clinking chainmail and armor could be heard. It felt strange, to be followed and guarded like this. If I didn't think too much about it I could almost pretend that I was a princess, that my father was the king and I was simply taking a stroll through the castle. I could pretend that Jon lived her too and that he was courting me, that Arya and Sansa were my guests, that this was my home. 

But once we reached the hand's tower, my daydream was broken. I continued on inside, my entourage ever so dutiful remained behind me. As we got closer to the main floor I could hear the smacking of wood. 

"Could you all please wait outside? I'll be fine honestly I just want to say hello" I say, trying to sound trustworthy. Marian gives me a skeptical look, a look I imagine the guards mirrored if they lifted up their helms. 

"My lady I think it's best if I-"

"No, I am your lady and I asked politely, now I am ordering you. All of you! Wait outside" I say in a commanding tone. They all seem taken back with my tone and before they can respond I enter the main room with Winter by my side. I enter and instantly smile as I see Arya with a wooden sword practicing with a Bravosi man. 

"Dead," he says as he delivers a swift smack to her right arm, knocking the wooden play sword out of it. She huffs in frustration as she goes to grab her sword. 

"Well that was a fast match," I say, making my presence known. They both turn and look at me. 

"Emylea!" Arya said in excitement as she picked up her sword. 

"Lady Targaryen, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Syrio" the Bravosi man told me with a respectful bow. 

"Nice to meet you Syrio," I tell him with a smile. He smiles back. 

"Do you know how to fight?" he asks me with a curious manner. 

"I like to think I know how" I admit with a smile. 

"She's really good! Emylea, show him" she tells me handing me her practice sword. 

"Alright, if you insist," I say with a smile, holding the sword in my left. Winter remains by the door. 

"Ah, I see you fight with your left" Syrio tells me, immediately making a move to hit my right side, which I deflect somewhat unsteadily. 

"Strong" he mumbles to himself, moving to hit my left side, which I defend a bit stronger than before. We continue, the sounds of wood smacking on wood filling the room. With each stroke we got faster, harder, it was like we were trying to kill one another. And for a moment, that was all there was, wood smacking wood. But then I lost it, my thoughts drifted to Jon, of all the times we use to fight and it made me sloppy. Syrio made to strike my left, but his eyes said the right and I wasn't paying attention and I moved to defend my left, causing a hard hit to be given to my right side, making me gasp in shock and grunt in pain. The sword, however, remained in my hand and I swung it hard to the left with all my might, hitting Syrio in the arm as well. 

"I am impressed, but you would have died before giving me that killing blow," he says with a proud smile. I give a slight smile back, pain running up my side. That was all I could focus on, the pain. Oh, no...it couldn't have...Gods could I have been any more careless?!

"Is something the matter?" Syrio asked as I held my right side and tossed my sword to the ground. 

"You struck a hard blow is all, please excuse me," I say with a would-be polite smile before I quickly exit the room, Winter being careful to stay close to my side. 

"Everything alright my lady?" Marian asks as I quickly walk back to my chambers. I stay silent, my thoughts starting to circle back around and around. What if I just jeopardized the child? What if something is wrong? What have I done? I can feel my chest starting to tighten with fear as I hurry into my chambers, Winter and Marian following close behind while the guards wait outside. 

"Marian help me out of this dress," I say somewhat frantically, trying to reach the laces in the back. 

"What? Why?" she asks in confusion. 

"Just do it!" I snap at her, fear starting to cloud my thoughts. I can feel her starting to pull at my laces, but I couldn't get out of this dress fast enough. After what seemed like a lifetime, it was off. I quickly looked down and saw a large bruise starting to form on my right hip bone. But that was the only sign of bruising, on my hip. It might have rattled her but she wouldn't have been hit...she should be okay. 

"My lady, are you alright? Shall I send for the maester?" Marian asks eyeing my bruise. 

"No...I should be fine...thank you" I mumble, unable to take my eyes off the bruise. If it was any closer...I was too reckless! I shouldn't have done that! I shouldn't have left my chambers, gods I shouldn't have left Winterfell. 

"I think I'm going to remain in my chambers for the rest of the day, will you help me into something not so confining?" I ask her politely. She nods and grabs a white, fur-lined robe and helps me into it. She takes my hair out of its pinned upstate, letting my silver waves hang loosely down my back. I slowly crawl back into my bed and pull up the covers and furs. Winter hops onto the bed and lays down by my feet. 

"Is there anything I can get for you, my lady?" Marian asks me politely. 

"No thank you, Marian, I just need some rest," I tell her with a bit of a forced smile. She nods and heads for the door, exiting my chambers. I lay a hand on top of the furs, where I think the baby is. I couldn't explain how or why, but this unborn child inside of me gave me comfort, she gave me comfort. It was as if Jon was still here, with me in this way. 

"I'm sorry" I whispered down to the small bump, to her. 

"There are so many things I want to tell you, so many things" I mumbled, trying to reign in my thoughts. 

"Your father and I danced together once" I admit, a smile on my lips at the memory. 

"It was only the once, and even then he didn't really want to. Neither of us really liked dancing, but I talked him into it..."

"Come on Jon, just this once!" I begged, tugging on his arm, trying to pull him towards the dancers. 

"No! I hate dancing" Jon grumbled, a grimace on his face at the very thought. 

"I don't care for it either but it's something to do, now come on!" I told him. 

"Fine, but just one dance" he grumbles as I pull him towards the center of the room. Once we reach the center, I guide his hand to my waist and clasp my right hand with his left. We were awkwardly matched, I was only 13 and still quite small for my age, while he was tall, tall compared to me at least. 

"Do you even know what you're doing?" he asks as we start to dance along with the music. 

"Nope," I tell him with a grin. That causes his grimace to turn into a small smile as we moved with the music. We didn't even notice until later that we were the only ones dancing. We laughed for most of that night, spending the evening without a care in the world. Of course, it was awkward between us. We were only good friends at that point. 

"But dancing with him, it was one of the best nights of my life," I said with a smile, my eyes starting to well with tears at the memory. 

"I hope you'll get a chance to dance with him too little one" I whisper, wiping away one of my tears as there was a knock on the door. 

"Yes?" I called, quickly wiping away my tears and sitting up in my bed, making sure I looked presentable. 

"It's Lord Baelish, my Lady, I only wanted a word" he called from the other side of my door. 

"Enter Lord Baelish" I answer, taking a deep breath and trying to ready myself for the game. I got an odd feeling from Petry Baelish, a feeling like he was playing a game with me. I watched the door as he entered, Winter lifted her head and started to growl at him. He made her uneasy. 

"It's alright Winter," I told her softly. She stopped growling and laid her head back down, but she was watching him as he entered the room, along with two guards who were carrying the chest from the crypts. 

"I've brought you a gift," he tells me with a proud smile as the guards set the chest down in the middle of my room. 

"Thank you, Lord Baelish, but why?" I ask him warily. 

"Think of it as a wedding gift, a show of my goodwill towards you and Robb" he answers with a smile. 

"That's very generous of you Lord Baelish" I reply, looking at the chest curiously. Was it the same chest? Or an imitation of the chest? Could this be a trap of some sort? 

"Please, call me Pyter," He answers, that same smile on his face. It was irksome and made me feel violated somehow.

"Thank you, Pyter, was there something else you wanted to discuss?" I asked, making sure my robe was covering my chest. 

"I only wanted to reassure you that you have a friend, should you ever need one" 

He knows something...but what?

"That's very kind of you to say" I answer with a sweet smile. At least with what I hoped was a sweet smile. 

"Of course my lady, you could be carrying the future heir of Winterfell and The Warden of the North, I only want to ensure your safety, both of your safeties" he replies with a respectful bow, before exiting the room, along with his guards. 

Could that be it? He wanted to get in Robb's and I's good graces, but for what? Did he need support from the North for something? A powerful ally? I wasn't sure. But I was sure of my fatigue. As much as I hated it, I actually needed some rest. I scooted down in my bed and pulled up my furs. Winter's icy blue eyes moved to watch me as I laid down fully and allowed my eyes to close. 

There was still no word. No word if she would return to Winterfell or if she was to remain in King's Landing, surrounded by enemies. Robb dared not risk sending another raven, even if it would only portray him as the concerned husband, he did not want to risk her life or the child. The Lannisters were cruel and could find something to accuse her of. Robb considered riding to King's Landing himself to retrieve her, but he couldn't leave his brothers, not when he was entrusted with their safety and with their mother gone. Robb was stuck. 

Perhaps that was why it took him so long to realize Bran had disappeared from their ride. 

"Where's Bran?" Robb asked frantically looking around the woods for any sign of Bran. Robb trusted his gut and rode off in the direction he suspected Bran went in. He got there just as a band of wildings was about to pull him off his horse. Robb quickly took out his sword and cut down the man he saw cut Bran's leg. From there it was the fighting of swords and his wolf Greywind attacking the other man and woman. Everything seemed to go by so quickly. In one moment Bran was being held hostage with a knife to his throat, in another, the man holding the blade fell over dead. He looked up and saw Theon Greyjoy on the ridge holding a bow with a satisfied smirk on his face. 

"Are you mad?!" Robb bellowed as he moved towards Bran. Theon's happy smile soon turned into an angry one. 

"I saved his life!" Theon shouted back and held his bow up again pointing it to something behind Robb. Robb glanced back and saw a woman cowering away from Greywind. 

"Please my Lord, I beg mercy" she cried out, dropping to her knees. 

"And you'll have it, guards, put her in chains" Robb ordered as the guards appeared. Robb should have felt fear or relief that Bran was alright, but all he could think was how this was another thing he had to deal with, another problem to solve. How did his father deal with it all? 

"My lady...my lady wake up" a voice whispered from above, barely able to be heard over Winter's growling. 

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Varys hovering above me with a worried look. I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it. 

"Forgive me my lady but I do not have much time. I have a plan to get you out of here and back to your lover. I've heard whispers and something is going to happen very soon, nothing good I'm afraid but something, something that will help you" he whispered hurriedly. 

"What?" I ask, slowly sitting up. 

"Lord Eddard's sentencing" he answers simply. 

"What? The king would never-"

"The King is dead my lady...you've been asleep for some time, 3 days to be exact" he murmurs, confusing me all the more. 

"What is he getting sentenced for?" I ask. 

"Sorry child but there is no time, I have spoken to him and he told me to tell you to remember the last time you spoke...that you can't go back...very crypt" Varys mumbles to himself. 

"Just be at the ready child, there will come a time when I will need you to trust me, without question, for the sake of you and your babe. Can you do that?" he asks quickly. 

"Yes...I can do that"

"Good"


	11. Chapter 11

It felt like everything was going wrong. Was this a joke? A cruel joke the gods were playing on him? First, he learns of Emylea's child, his child. Next, he is assigned to the stewards when he knew he was meant to be a ranger, it was Allister paying him back for sure. And now, his father was being convicted as a traitor for supposedly killing the king. Everything was falling apart, he was the traitor's bastard and there wasn't a thing he could do. His mind was drifting, to her, to his child to be, to his father, to being Commander Mormont's steward, to the dead men Ghost found when he and Sam went beyond the wall to take their vows, and back to her. Was she safe? If his father was being convicted of treason, he wouldn't be able to protect her. With the King dead she didn't have his protection either, she was alone. She needed him. 

"Jon!" 

Jon was snapped out of his thoughts at the calling of his name. For a moment he had forgotten that he was dining with Sam. 

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Jon asked, taking another bite of the salted meat with onions stew they were having. 

"Are you alright Jon? You seem out of your head" Sam asked, the concern for his friend evident on his face. 

"Just got a lot on my mind is all" Jon answered vaguely, only increasing Sam's worry. 

"Do you want to talk about it? My mother said that talking things out is the best way to sort one's thoughts" Sam offered with a sheepish smile. 

"It's alright, I'll manage" Jon mumbles doing his best to muster a smile, but his mind was full of worries that showed on his face. 

"You sure?" Sam pressed. Sam was starting to get curious and when Sam got curious he almost always found an answer. 

"Some other time perhaps" Jon offered, thinking about how nice it would be to confide in someone. 

"Hey Sam, Jon," Pip said walking over to where they were sitting. Jon only looked up in greeting. 

"Jon, the Lord Commander wants to speak with you, it sounded urgent," Pip said as he took a bowl of the stew and began to eat. Jon only sighed. He had been a steward for a while now and was slowly getting used to it, but he still had dreams of being a ranger, of going farther north. 

"Thanks" Jon mumbled and slowly stood up and began to make his way to the Lord Commander's chambers. It felt like a quick walk as he climbed up the stairs, for a moment his mind was empty but then everything came flooding back as he knocked on the Lord Commander's door. 

"Enter" the old bear bellowed, allowing Jon to open the door to see Commander Mormont looking over some scrolls. 

"You summoned me, my Lord?" Jon asked. 

"Yes, have a seat Snow" he mumbled absently, too engrossed in the scroll to bother looking up at Jon. Jon sat in the chair in front of Commander Mormont and waited. Lately, it seemed that was all Jon was doing, waiting. 

"She must be something special to have you out of your wits" Mormont mumbled as he sent the scroll back down on his desk. 

"Excuse me?" Jon asked, slightly confused. 

"You think I don't see every scroll that comes through this place? I've been reading your correspondences between this Emylea or Rhaella or whatever her bloody name is, and this last one has got me as puzzled as you" he admits looking at Jon with what almost could be considered a sympathetic smile. Jon remained silent, unsure of what he should say or even what he could say, could they behead him for having a lover?

"I want you to be honest with me Snow, is the child yours?" Mormont asks, looking deep into Jon's eyes. Jon could feel his heart starting to race, but he felt like he could trust the old bear. 

"Yes my Lord, it is" Jon answered plainly, hoping they wouldn't kill him for this. He took a vow and he wasn't sure if he'd broken it or not. Mormont only nodded. 

"And that ring you wear on your finger, is it a wedding ring?" Mormont asked. 

"No my Lord, only a gift" Jon replied, realizing he was fiddling with the steel ring on his finger. 

"Good" Mormont answered with a nod of relief. 

"Well I can't say anything about the girl, but I'm trying to arrange for Lord Stark to take the black, he's a good man your father and we could use all the men we could get. But for your sisters and this girl, I'm afraid there isn't anything I can do" Mormont said with a sigh. 

"There has to be something! Anything! She's only a girl" Jon said, a bit of begging in his voice. How could he sit idly by while she was in danger, with his child?

"I understand that, but there is no place for girls on the wall, especially girls that brothers are in love with" Mormont responded with a knowing look. 

"Please my Lord, there has to be something I could do. I could ride to King's Landing and escort her somewhere safe" Jon pleaded. 

"Smuggle her here you mean?" Mormont asked.

"No, she wouldn't survive the cold" Jon mumbled sadly, meaning she couldn't return to Winterfell, to Robb. 

"Either way you can't leave, you'd be marked as a deserter and your place is here now," Mormont said dismissively.

"But Commander"

"No, I've given my word and my word is final, you are dismissed," Mormont said, agitation in his voice. Jon got up from his seat and silently left the room, feeling nothing but anger. Jon realized he needed to talk, but the person he needed to talk to most wasn't here...so he settled for Sam. 

Jon made his way to Maester Aemon's quarters where Sam spent most of his time since it was his job to take care of the Maester. Jon wasn't sure how much to tell Sam, or how much not to tell him. Surely anything he told Sam wouldn't put her in danger. Jon knocked on the door to the Maester's chambers. Sam opened the door and smiled. 

"Hello Jon, what can I help you with?" Sam asked as he let Jon into the room where Maester Aemon was sitting in a chair. 

"I was hoping we could talk" Jon admitted, causing Sam to smile proudly. 

"Sure, take a seat," Sam said heading back to the table where the Maester sat. 

"It's a bit of a private matter," Jon said, trying his best not to sound rude. 

"Don't worry Jon Snow, I have a feeling I know what this is about" Maester Aemon said with a smile. 

"Alright" Jon replied hesitantly, taking a seat next to his friend and across from the Maester. And so Jon proceeded to tell parts of his story. That there was a girl he loved who was in danger and he needed to find a way to save her. 

"What does she look like?" Sam asked curiously. Jon smiled at the thought of her. 

"Her hair is white, white as falling snow and she's as pale as porcelain. Her eyes are dark violet and beautiful" Jon explained, smiling as an image of her popped into his head. 

"Is she a Targaryen?" Sam asked, glancing at Maester Aemon. 

"Aye, she is, why?" Jon asked, fearing he had spoken too much. 

"Because that makes her my niece" Maester Aemon answered with what looked like tears in his eyes. 

"You're a Targaryen?" Jon asks in surprise. 

"One of the last" Aemon answered with a heavy sigh. 

"Does the cold not bother you?" Jon asked. 

"No, it doesn't" Aemon replied, making Jon wonder. Maybe she could survive out here, maybe she would be able to stay at Castle Black for a time, kin was allowed to visit and now she had a reason to come. 

"I'll send a raven, maybe there's hope after all," Jon said rising to his feet. 

"Ah, young love, you may use my fastest raven if you'd like" Maester Aemon offered. 

"That's very kind of you, thanks," Jon said awkwardly, still caught up in the idea of her being here, stilling thinking like a child. So Jon quickly wrote down a scroll with a brief explanation, not thinking of the possibility of its interception, and sent it off with one of Aemon's ravens before retiring to his chambers for the night. 

He could feel himself starting to drift off into another one of those strange dreams, but something was holding him back, something wouldn't let him go. Jon was pulled back to the real world and woke up to Ghost scratching and growling at his chamber door. 

"Ghost, what is it?" Jon asked making the direwolf turn to face him, staring at him with red eyes. Jon got up sleepily and opened the door, watching the direwolf sprint off down the hall. Jon grabbed his sword and followed him up the stairs towards Mormont's chambers. He entered the chambers slowly while Ghost ran inside. 

"Lord Commander?" Jon called out quietly, but there was no response. Jon stepped further into the room and saw one of the dead men they had found earlier that morning walking towards the Commanders bed but Ghost had grabbed onto his leg, causing the dead man to turn around and shock Jon with its icy blue gaze. It was a wright, white walker, a creature from one of old Nan's stories...come to life. 

Robb wasn't sure how to take Sansa's scroll. Pledge fealty to Joffery and everything will be forgiven...father would be punished but not as severely, if only he came himself and bent the knee, something Robb knew he could never do. Recent events had caused him to consider traveling to King's Landing himself to retrieve his 'bride', no one was there to protect her. With his father imprisoned, his sister tightly wrapped around the Queen's finger, there was no one. But if Robb went and bent the knee he might never be able to leave, which wouldn't help anyone, besides he could never bend the knee to his father's captors. 

"You asked to see me, my Lord," Maester Luwin said as he entered Robb's chambers. 

"Yes, I need your fastest raven" Robb said. The Maester bowed and left his chambers to retrieve the bird while Robb wrote out his scroll, being sure to keep up the facade of a concerned husband. He may not have been married to her, but he still cared about her, the concern and love in his letter was something he didn't have to fake. 

The heat was soothing, the boiling hot water felt almost as wonderful as being in Jon's arms, almost. I ran my hand over my small bump, small but growing. 

"Me and your father used to swim in the hot springs of Winterfell" I mumbled quietly. Lately, I had been getting comfort from talking to the child inside of me, telling her stories and things about her father, it made him feel closer to me. 

"We were very little at the time, nine and ten I think, I was convinced I knew how to swim even though I never had before..."

"Come on!! It'll be fun!" I begged as we stood on the edge of the springs. 

"You don't know how to swim!" Jon protested as I started to take off my shoes. 

"How hard could it be? Besides you know how to swim! You could teach me!" I squealed excitedly as I took off my other shoe. 

"I don't know Emylea, we could get in trouble..."

"Aw come on! You're never any fun!" I said crossing my arms and pouting, being sure I stuck out my bottom lip. He only gave me a stern look. 

"Please?" I asked sweetly, uncrossing my arms and batting my eyelashes the way I'd seen noble ladies do. 

"No, please don't give me that look," Jon said, locking eyes with mine. I could see him giving in the longer he looked into my eyes. Then finally, his chocolate eyes began to soften. 

"Oh alright, but only for a little", he reasoned as he started to take off his boots. 

"Yay!" I squealed with excitement. 

"But wait for me to get in first so that I...Emylea!" 

I was too excited to wait, the idea of being in something so warm was too appealing to me and I had jumped in. It was deeper than I had anticipated and I was weak and small, my little legs didn't have the strength to pull me to the surface. I was running out of air and started to panic, it felt like my lungs were about to burst until I felt a hand grabbing my arm and pulling me back to the surface. 

"Are you mad?!" Jon screamed as I coughed to the side, allowing him to hold me for a second. 

"I-I'm sorry" I mumbled as I panted, trying to catch my breath, my lungs still ached. 

"You could have died!" Jon continued to scream, causing tears to well up in my eyes. 

"I just wanted to know what it would feel like..." I said as tears started to slip down my cheeks and into the hot spring. 

"Water?" 

"No, heat" 

"It felt amazing, yet terrifying at the same time. You're never supposed to stay in a hot spring for very long, too much heat does something to the head, I can't remember what exactly I never really paid attention to that lecture" I said, smiling at the memory, continuing to rub my hand over my bump. 

"But you don't seem to mind it either, you're like me in that way" I mumbled absently continuing to move my hand. 

"I hope you get to meet your father...I know he'd love to meet you, he'd love you instantly and with all his heart" I whisper, tears starting to sting my eyes when I felt movement. I stopped moving my hand. 

"Is that you?" I whisper, keeping my hand still. I feel a little nudge in response. I grin and look around the room, only seeing Winter sleeping on my bed. I could feel my smile starting to fade. I had no one to share this moment with, I was alone. 

"I'm sorry little one, it's just me, but we'll be with others soon, at least I hope we will" I mumble, feeling another nudge at the word. 

"Hope" I reply and I can feel a fluttering in my belly.

"Hope it is then," I say with a smile, wishing I could hold her. The water suddenly felt a lot warmer, slowly it was coming back to a boil. Was I doing that? I felt another wave of heat come over me and sigh in pleasure. I turn and look at the chest Lord Baelish had brought me. It sat at the foot of my bed, untouched and unopened. I felt drawn to it, a need to touch it. I stood up from my now boiling bath and stepped out of the tub, continuing to stare at the chest curiously. I walked over and knelt before it, naked. I placed my hand on the outside of the cool lock and could instantly feel it heat up. 

The lock was about to melt when I heard a faint click. I quickly took my hand away and stared at the chest in wonder. Had I opened it? Hesitantly I gave a light tug on the lock and smiled as it gave way. I placed the lock on the ground and slowly opened the steel chest. Inside was a large, silvery white egg placed on top of a silver cloth. I picked up the egg and could instantly feel the heat inside. I gently set it down and moved to pick up the cloth but it was wrapped around something. I used both hands to pick up the heavy long object and set it in my lap. I moved away the satin, silver cloth to reveal a sword. It was Valyrian steel and had intricate dragons crafted into both the hilt and blade. Upon further examination, I knew what it was...Black Sister, the blade used by Visenya Targaryen to help conquer the seven kingdoms. It was supposed to be lost, or destroyed...how did it end up here? 

At the bottom of the chest was a simple note 'My descendant, here lays the last dragon, treat her well, and my sword Black Sister, use it wisely~V'

I had only one question, how? How could this egg not be a stone? A knock sounded on the door. 

"Just a moment!" I replied, quickly putting everything back into the chest and locking it, praying I'd be able to open it again. Once everything was back in place, I grabbed my white fur-lined robe and tried to look presentable, moving my braided hair over my right shoulder. 

"Enter" I called back, making sure the robe covered me well. I could feel my body heat up in anger as Sansa entered my room, tears in her eyes. 

"What do you want?" I ask, trying to keep my temper at bay. 

"Please, I'm so sorry and I'm all alone and..."

"Sansa, you betrayed me and I'm guessing you betrayed your father too. I knew he had plans to leave with you and Arya, you told the Queen didn't you?!" I snapped at her, unable to feel another but rage for the girl standing before me. 

"I didn't mean to!" she cried, moving to get closer to me but I only stepped back. 

"Didn't mean what? To tell the Queen? To imprison your father? What was it you didn't mean to do that has already be done?!" I shouted, almost screaming at her, only making her tears flow more. 

"I'm sorry!! I love Joffery and I didn't want to leave me!" Sansa cried, almost shouting herself. 

"You have no idea what love is!" I screamed at her, feeling tears start to well up in my eyes. 

"And you do?" she said, a bit of venom in her voice, her sadness turning to anger. 

"More than you'll ever know" I spit back, placing a hand on my belly protectively. 

"I know you don't love Robb! I bet that isn't even his child is it?" she said pointing at my belly. 

"Watch your tongue, Sansa, you have no idea what you're messing with," I said darkly, feeling the heat of the room increase. 

"Is it Jon's? Are you carrying another bastard in your belly?" she taunts. I step forward and grip her left arm harshly, digging my nails into her flesh. 

"Not another word, do you hear me? If you go and tell the Queen and she comes after me or my child or even Jon I swear by the gods you'll be the first one to die" 

The heat of the room was harsh and the air was hard to breathe. 

"Stop! You're hurting me!" Sansa begged, trying to escape my grip. I release my hand and see the place where I grabbed her start to turn red as if she'd been burned. 

"Don't come back, I don't want to speak to you, ever" I spit turning my back to her. 

"Emylea please..."

"Get. Out." I huff the temperature continuing to rise and the fire in the room suddenly growing larger. I hear the door open and shut behind me. I look at my hands and can seem them shake with my anger. I glance at the fire and see it slowly decrease in size as I calm myself down. I stand by the tub of water for a while, just staring into the water, trying to empty my mind. Another knock came from the door. 

"Enter," I said with a tired sigh, turning to see Varys entering my room. 

"I hope you are well my lady," he tells me with a polite bow. 

"I've been better, how are things out there?" I ask. 

"Tensions are rising and the time is almost near, also these arrived for you this morning, be glad I intercepted them before Pycell did," he tells me with a proud smile, revealing two scrolls from his sleeve. 

"Thank you Varys," I tell him as I grab the scrolls from his outstretched hand. But the instant I touch them they begin to crumble from heat. I immediately drop them. 

"How strange, put on some gloves dear maybe that'll help" Varys offers. I open my trunk and quickly pull on some leather gloves, dyed white. I pick up the scrolls once more and read the shorter one. 

My love, 

I pray for the day you are returned me and I want it to be soon, I need you here by my side with all that has happened. I want to ensure your safety, yours and our childs. How soon can you get here? Winterfell will be safe and is eagerly awaiting your arrival. Please hurry, I can't bear being parted from you much longer, 

Love, your husband, Robb Stark,

He knows that Ned is considered a traitor, Robb somehow knows the outcome and that I can't be here...he knows the danger I'm in. Quickly I open the other scroll. 

Emylea, 

I understand your situation and I fear for your life, your life, and the baby's. I want you to come to Castle Black if you can manage it, you'll be safe here and you'll be able to stay since you have a relative living here. Maester Aemon is a Targaryen as well, your Uncle I believe, and he has agreed to vouch for you upon your arrival. I miss you, more than you could imagine, but I understand why you are pushing me away. You're smart, that is why I don't worry too much, because I know you'll find a way out of this and when you do, come back to me. I'll be here waiting for your arrival, leave as soon as you can by any means necessary. Stay warm, stay safe, I love you both ~Jon

Thank the gods that Pycell didn't read this scroll. It made me happy to know Jon understood why I did what I did. 

"I take it you've read these?" I mumble to Varys as I look at Jon's scroll once more. 

"I have, it appears you have a decision to make," he says. 

"A decision to be made once I've made my escape...which will be soon I hope?" I ask. He nods. 

"Keep a bag and riding clothes ready, when the time comes for the trial, feign illness or baby pains, a reason to stay here...your guards will be brided and you'll be escorted by one of my ladies to a safe place to await further instructions" He whispers to me hurriedly, I nod. 

"And Sansa and Arya?" I ask. 

"I'm sorry but I can't do the same for Sansa and Arya appears to have escaped herself," He tells me. I nod. 

"Thank you Varys, I owe you much," I tell him with a smile. 

"Don't thank me yet, and remember child, trust no one" he whispers before he exits. I grab the scrolls and move towards the fire, preparing to burn them, but I look at Jon's words one more time. 'Stay warm, Stay Safe, I love you both'

I couldn't describe how happy it made me feel to know he knew of our child...to know he still loved me. 

"I love you too" I whispered into the fire, wishing that somehow he'd be able to hear me, that he'd know. I look off my gloves and let them drop to the ground, the scrolls starting to burn in my hands. I dropped the ashes back into the fire that seemed to grow the closer I came to it. 

"Hope, my love, if you can hear me, we're going to be okay...we're going home"


	12. Chapter 12

I didn't want to leave, it was too beautiful a place to leave. I was in a meadow full of wildflowers and it was warm, so incredibly warm it felt like I was being kissed by the sun and taken into its warm embrace. And he was here, laying down next to me, but he was laying in a small stretch of snow. Even in these dreams, we were somehow separated. 

"Are you alright?" he asks turning onto his left side to face me. I turn onto my right side and look at him, a small smile on my face. 

"As alright as I can be, I hope we get to see you soon" I admit, placing a hand on the bump of my abdomen. He only smiles. He never would give me answers, or replies when I spoke about seeing him. Perhaps he wasn't allowed to, but it always irked me. Even if something bad was going to happen I wish he could tell me about it. 

"I miss you, it's lonely out here" I continued, allowing him to listen to my ramblings and fears. Everything just came pouring out of my lips. I didn't realize how much I needed to speak to someone until nights like this. I explained my fears, my worries about the escape plan and if I would make it back North, back to him. 

"Oh, I came up with a name for her," I told him with a smile, placing my hand back on my bump. 

"What is it?" he asks me with a knowing smile, causing me to roll my eyes. 

"I'm sure you already know, but Hope, Hope Snow," I say, unable to contain my smile or excitement. 

"That's a beautiful name, but Snow? I don't want her to be a bastard like I was" Jon explains, his smile beginning to fade. 

"I know...she'll be a Stark once we reach Robb but, I wanted her to have something of yours, even if the name isn't a proper one" I reason, slowly making myself sit up, Jon does the same. 

"I know this is hard for you, but you have to be strong, you can't think just about me anymore, you have to think about her," He says gesturing down to the bump. 

"I am thinking about her!" 

"I know you are, but you need to do what's best for her...and coming to see me might not be the best thing, the journey alone will be hard on you and the cold, Emylea you have no idea how cold it is being that far North, you couldn't handle it" He tells me, looking into my eyes with that stern, unmoving expression. Who cares what his last name was he was a Stark, that look alone was proof enough.

"I can handle it! Jon, you haven't seen me or felt my touch, things have changed, I'm different now" I say going to touch him, but I can't. Some invisible force was preventing me from moving to his side. 

"You may be, but the baby might not. What if the baby is like you? What if it can't survive the cold?" 

"All babies are like that, and it'll be fine because I'll be there to keep it warm, trust me, Jon, everything is going to be fine," I tell him with a hopeful smile, believing the words that left my lips. 

"What if I don't want to see you, or the baby?" he says, almost threateningly. 

"That's a lie, I know you want to see her and me. I can feel it" I say, trying again to get through the barrier and touch him, but my hand only crashes into the invisible bubble. 

"It isn't a lie, Emylea do you have any idea how hard it is? You're on my mind constantly, but I can't see you or get to you, only in my dreams. I keep trying to forget, but you won't let me, nothing will let me let go" he says with a forced sigh. 

"Y-you want to forget me? But...I love you...and I know that you love me. You said so yourself that we are fated, and in my heart, I know it to be true. You can't forget something like that...and I can't believe that you would want to" I say, feeling the tears start to prick at my eyes. 

"It's not a matter of want, it's a need...and you should do the same, let me go," he says to me in almost a whisper. 

"No, you can try all you want but you can't change my heart, you can't change how I feel about you...and try as you might you can't change your feelings for me either," I say, breaking his penetrating gaze and choosing instead to look down at the ground, the division between snow and meadow. I knew he was talking to me, but I didn't hear a word. I placed my hand as close to the snow as I could and saw it start to melt. I slowly moved my hand along the edge separating us until his patch of snow was smaller until my meadow started to bleed into his snow. I tentatively placed my fingers on the edge of the barrier and moved them forward. I had gotten through. 

I quickly flung my body on top of his and connected our lips. He froze, as I continued to kiss him, but then he started to kiss me back. His gloved hands moved to my back, pulling me towards him and holding onto me tightly. Our lips continued to dance with each other as I placed my hands on his clothed chest. I felt him flinch at my touch but I didn't care, I needed him. I always needed him. 

"My lady!"

I woke up, panting, sweating and disoriented. My head was fuzzy and was beginning to pound with an incoming headache. I wiped the sleep away from my eyes and say Marian peering at me with a concerned look. 

"Are you alright my lady?" she asks, not daring to touch me as Winter was between us. Winter was staring at her, looking as if she was ready to pounce on the girl, if given the chance. 

"F-fine" I stuttered, suddenly feeling an icy chill come over me. I was freezing, the sweat only making me feel colder. 

"Are you sure my lady? You don't look well" she replied, moving to touch my forehead but Winter snapped at her. 

"Well enough, could you draw me a bath?" I ask covering my eyes with my arm, trying to block out the sunlight shining through the window. 

"Of course my lady, oh and the Queen has picked out a dress for you to wear this afternoon to the sentencing" Marian informed me as she left to go get the brass tub and boiling hot water. 

Sentencing?! Was that today? Gods how could I be so stupid?! I was supposed to be ill this day, I should have sent Marian away and feigned child pains. How could I get out of this? The Queen had a dress picked out for me...she wanted me there...but why? Was it going to be a trap? Lord Stark was supposed to be sentenced to the Black, stripped of all lands and titles...could the Queen know of my intentions to escape? I was Robb's wife after all, once Eddard Stark takes the Black, I'll be Lady of Winterfell and Wardeness of the North...they need me to get Robb to bend the knee to Joffery...I had to get out of here...I needed a plan. I needed help. I needed everything I didn't have.

I sat up in bed and watched as the guards walked in, placing the brass tub in its usual spot by the fireplace, then maids come pouring in with buckets of boiling water, followed by Marian at the back. 

"I really suggest you don't get in right away my lady, it's much too warm and it'll hurt the babe," Marian said as I rose from the bed, dressed in only my night shift and made my way to the tub. 

"It'll be fine, Marian you are dismissed" I replied absently, trying to form a plan. 

"But I must help you undress and your hair..."

"You are dismissed, I'll be able to manage," I said doing my best not to snap at the girl. My temper tended to rise when I was stressed. 

"But, are you su-"

"GO" I yelled at her, feeling the heat rise back to the surface of my body. Winter began to snarl and the last thing I heard was the closing of the door. It was just me and Winter now, and Hope. I slipped out of my night shift and stepped into the soothing water, allowing it to engulf me and my emotions, and then was I finally able to cry. 

Jon wasn't sure what to think or how to feel. He was able to kill the white walker by using one of the Lord Commander's candles, however, he didn't get away without a large burn on his left hand or some cuts and bruises. And the one in the Lord Commander's chamber wasn't the only one. The other body they found had come to life as well, killing two of his brothers on the night watch. 

It was insane, how could it have happened? I wasn't possible and yet it happened and Jon had a burned hand to prove it. How could those things from Nan's stories be true? 

"Jon! Did you hear me? I said the Lord Commander wants to have a word with you" Sam said, trying to get Jon's attention away from his breakfast, which he wasn't eating and his ring that he couldn't seem to stop messing with.

"Oh, okay thanks Sam" Jon mumbled absently, slowly rising from his seat at the table and beginning his walk to the Lord Commanders new chambers, as his old chambers were burnt down last night. Jon tried to clear his mind as he walked, trying to focus on the snow and cold, and began wondering where Ghost was, anything but her and what happened last night. Before Jon could realize it he was knocking on the Lord Commander's door. 

"Come in" the Lord Commander grumbled. Jon slowly opened the door and entered the Lord Commander's chambers. He stood by the door until he was beckoned to sit in the chair opposite of the Old Bear. 

"How's your hand doing?" the man asked, not bothering to look up from his desk flooded with papers. 

"Better sir" Jon answered stiffly, still in a bit of shock from the night before.

"Good, you'd be no good to the night watch with only one hand," The Lord Commander says, in almost a joking way. Jon couldn't help but smile, it was comforting to know that the Lord Commander wasn't upset with him over what happened the previous night. 

"I uh, have something for you," Commander Mormont said a bit awkwardly, reaching over to his side and laying a sword on the table. 

"I had the pommel changed from a bear to a wolf after the fire, it's a bit long for you now but I think you'll grow into it quite nicely," He said, watching closely as Jon slowly picked up the sword and examined the said pommel. 

"I am honored sir, but I cannot accept this" Jon said with a heavy sigh, moving to place the sword back on the table. 

"Nonsense, of course, you can. My son has disgraced our house, at least when he left into exile he had the decency to leave the sword. No, you'll keep the sword and that is final are we clear?" the Commander said giving Jon a stern look. 

"Yes sir," Jon said with a grateful nod. 

"You saved my life Snow, you earned this" 

But Jon wasn't sure he had. 

Robb was marching on King's Landing, well in his mind he was. Robb knew that when his father was imprisoned and when Robert Baratheon was killed, something had to be done. Robb knew he couldn't bend the knee to Joffery, he wouldn't make it back alive and gods know what would happen to his sisters or Rhaella. They were camped out near the Frey, waiting for his mother to return from the twins with news from Walder Frey, news regarding their crossing his bridge. 

Robb was nervous, he paced the length of his tent over and over, praying to the old gods for good news, for them to keep his loved ones safe, especially Rhaella. Robb knew that she was in more danger now than ever. To the world, they were wed, with their heir to Winterfell on the way. The Lannisters could use that to their advantage, use her to get to Robb. That's why Robb had to cross that bridge and get to her first. 

"My Lord, your mother has returned" one of his soldiers announced, peaking his head into Robb's tent. 

"Right, thank you" Robb mumbled, walking out of his tent towards his mother who was riding towards him. 

"Good news I'm hoping?" Robb asked as his mother stopped before him. 

"Yes...and no," she said with a heavy sigh. Robb slowly nodded and looked up at his mother, waiting for Walder Frey's answer. 

"He will let you cross, but there are some conditions to your crossing" she explained. 

"Of course, and what are they?" Robb asked. 

"He will let you cross and give you men to fight, but you and Arya must marry two of his children..."

"But mother I'm already wed! I cannot take another wife!" Robb said, trying to contain his outrage that Walder Frey would ask him such a thing. 

"I know son, and I told him that, but he says that then you will be a lucky man and have two...wifes in your pocket..." Catelyn explained, clearly editing out some of Walder Frey's more explicit language. 

"What do you think mother?" Robb asked, silently pleading in his mind that she would tell him to find another way, that to take two wives was a crime against the gods.

"I think you need to cross that bridge...no matter the costs," Catelyn said with a heavy sigh, knowing her son wanted to hear differently. But things had changed, whether Robb liked it or not, he was no longer a boy, he was a man with men to control and battles to win. Catelyn knew he had to put aside whatever feelings he had for Rhaella and her unborn child, and become the leader the North needed. 

"I need time to think" Robb declared, making his way back to his tent, hearing his mother dismount and begin to follow him. 

"Robb...Robb...Robb!" She shouted at him.

They were inside Robb's tent and Robb was pacing once more, trying to clear his head, trying to think rationally, but he couldn't...didn't want to. Rational, how could Robb be rational at a time like this?! His father was imprisoned, his sisters were stuck in King's Landing with his father's captors and Rhaella...his beautiful first love Rhaella, was alone with child. A child that was supposedly theirs despite Robb knowing the truth. But Rhaella gave him a responsibility, to her and her unborn child. He couldn't give that up.

"ROBB!" 

Robb finally looked up at his mother who was looking at him with worried eyes. 

"Robb, you must accept these terms, we need to get across that bridge, think of your father, think of the girls!"

"I am thinking of them, mother! They are all I think about!" Robb said, snapping at his mother in frustration. She had no idea of the pressure he was under or how much it was getting to him. Oh, how he longed for the old days back at Winterfell, when it was just him and his siblings, and her. If he closed his eyes right now he could picture her snow-kissed hair and her lovely dark violet eyes. If he could only close his eyes for a moment...

"Then accept Lord Frey's terms and bring them home!" Catelyn shouted, desperately trying to make her son understand the gravity of their situation. 

"I cannot marry one of his daughters for I am already wed!" Robb shouted back, slamming his hands on his planning table. 

"No one is able to confirm your marriage, Robb! The only supposed witness to it has taken the black and Maester Luwin has no record of it! You can get out of your marriage and marry a northern girl"

"She is a northern girl mother! She lived with us for years or have you forgotten?!" Robb said unable to control his temper. Everything was falling apart right in front of his eyes, and he could do nothing, nothing to stop it. 

"I haven't forgotten but she is not blood! And your father would tell you the same, he would tell you to think of your sisters!" Catelyn pleaded. 

"Father is an honorable man, he would have me find a way to save Rhaella and Sansa and Arya!" Robb replied trying to find his way out of marrying one of Lord Frey's daughters. 

"And this is that way! They will have no reason to hold Rhaella if your marriage becomes dissolved, she'll hold no value" Catelyn reasons. 

"She is with child mother, my child. Our marriage is the only thing that is keeping her alive! Her value as future Lady of Winterfell is keeping her alive mother! Can't you understand that?!" He shouted, almost screamed. He could feel his heart ramming up against his chest and sweat start to form on his brow, it felt like the tent was closing in on him and heating up. 

"I do understand that! I am your mother! But I am telling you, let her go" 

Catelyn's words were like a knife to Robb's heart. Let her go? She had been a part of their lives for 16 years. Robb could still remember the day father had brought her home, her with her silvery white hair and violet eyes that seemed to stare up at Robb in curiosity. But that image was quickly replaced with a baby Sansa, and Arya, and the boys, all of whom Robb was responsible for, his family. 

The tent finally seemed to cool, along with Robb's temper. May the gods forgive me. Robb thought as he stood back up straight and took in a deep breath. 

"Alright, tell Lord Frey I accept his terms," Robb said with a heavy sigh and a heavy heart. 

I had dressed, and I was still trying to think up a plan for my escape. Varys' and I's plan was falling apart. The only way our plan would work was if I remained in the Red Keep during Lord Stark's sentencing. So far I couldn't find a good enough excuse, the queen had picked out a dress for me to wear. It was a flowing red silk dress with a golden belt and earrings and bracelets. Lannister colors. My hair was done up, intricately like high born southern ladies tended to do. She was claiming me, even if it was through something subtle as my clothing. A Targaryen reduced to a lion when I was meant to be a dragon. 

I stood, staring at myself in my long looking glass. My hands moved to my neck, playing with the direwolf pendant that Jon gave me all those months ago. I moved my hands down, so I could play with the ring on my left finger. The direwolf ring, a gift from Robb given to me by Jon. And Jon hand a matching one with him up there...on the wall. 

'Between us, this ring marks you as mine'

Jon's voice still echoed in my ears. I wonder if he thought of me much, out there on the wall. I wondered if he played with his ring as well and thought of me, as I did so often with him and my ring. Finally, my gaze traveled down, down to my swollen belly. My bump had grown, what seemed like overnight. It was very obvious that I was pregnant. How many months had it been? 5? I couldn't quite recall, but I knew that if I closed my eyes I could still remember that night. How it felt to lay there afterward on his bare chest and be held in his arm. 

There was a knocking on the door, a knock that had broken my trance and picture of Jon. 

"Yes?" I answer. My chamber door immediately opens. 

"You look lovely my lady," Varys says as he closes my chamber door behind him. 

"The queen picked it out for me" I reply absently, continuing to stare at myself in the looking glass. 

"Red is a lovely color on you, my lady, I am not so sure about the gold" he continues, walking towards me. 

"Lannister Lion colors, on a Dragon, it doesn't feel right" I mumble, turning around to face him. 

"Fear not child, it won't be that way for long, I have arranged for you to be escorted out of the Red Keep through the catacombs by miss Marian, there will be a change of clothes and food waiting you down there. No worries, Marian has already informed the royal court of your absence from the sentencing this afternoon" he explains walking closer to me. 

"I was also asked by one Eddard Stark to remind you of your promise to him, whatever that may be" he continues stopping when Winter started to growl. 

"Thank you Varys, you've been a true friend to me, but I'm afraid I have two more favors to ask" I answer, walking towards the window pane and retrieving the two scrolls I had written earlier, addressed to Robb and Jon. I walk back towards him, scrolls in hand. 

"I will have these delivered discreetly and immediately," he tells me with a polite nod. 

"Thank you," I tell him with a smile.

"Of course my child, and safe travels, should you need anything, I am only a whisper away," he says walking back towards my door. Once he exits I turn back towards the mirror, praying I never have to see myself clad in such a way ever again. I moved quickly towards my chest, grabbing my dirty shoulder bag out from it and over to the iron chest, Lord Baelish had brought me, using my pent-up frustration to open it with ease. I gently wrapped up the silvery egg in some of the cloths and put it in my bag. I lifted up the wrapped up sword and placed it by the chest, quickly locking it back up. 

How was I going to get this sword out of here? I desperately looked around my chambers, my eyes landing on my white fur, hooded cloak. The one Sansa had made for me for my name day. Oh, how I wanted to burn that cloak, but it was large enough to hide my things under and my pregnancy. I inwardly groaned and grabbed the cloak, laying it on top of my bag and sword on my bed. Then I sat and waited, finally Marian entered my chambers. 

"Are you ready my lady?" she asks. I stand up and pull on my bag and cloak.

"let's go" I answer and finally leave my prison cell with Winter by my side. Home here I come.


	13. Chapter 13

Everything seemed to slow down, the world was coming to a stop when I needed it to go faster. Marian, Winter and I seemed to crawl through the halls of the castle, peaking around every corner and making sure we seemed natural to any who saw us. But we prayed it would be no one. The Red Keep was mainly empty, everyone had already left for Baelor's statue, where Ned would be sentenced this afternoon. The only sounds that could be heard were the patterings of Winter's feet. 

Everything felt strange, as the world seemed to slow I could feel my mind starting to slip, to thoughts of Robb, Winterfell, and Jon. Oh, Jon, my love, I pray you are well and happy. 

"My lady!" Marian whisper shouted at me, quickly pulling me into the side hallway, towards the catacombs. 

"Sorry Marian, I'm just a bit distracted today, and please call me Rhaella," I tell her with a small smile, readjusting my white fur hood. 

"Alright...Rhaella, well we're almost there, but who knows who may be lurking down here, just try to keep quiet" Marian whispers to me awkwardly. I nod despite the darkness surrounding us as we continue down the hall. I try to keep my breathing even as we travel down the narrow hallway. I fall in step behind Marian who holds a torch in her hand while Winter walks behind me. 

We take a detour to the old chamber with the dragon skulls where two piles of clothes are waiting. 

"Hurry, we don't have much time," Marian said handing me a pile of riding clothes. I nodded and quickly changed into some riding pants, they were tight around my baby bump, but not unbearable. Once I was changed I pulled my satchel back on and my hood, holding my sword in my hand under my cloak. 

"Ready?" Marian asks. I turn to look at her and see her hair pulled down in a dark brown braid with brown leather riding clothes, along with a loose black cloak and riding boots. She seemed a bit younger but still in her twenties, an adult where I was a child. 

"Yeah, ready" I mumbled back as Winter walked closer to my side. I followed her as she grabbed another torch and we began walking out of the chamber and continued down the narrow hallway. It felt like we walked for miles before we made it out, right by the stables. Two horses were already saddled and waiting. A brown one and a white one. 

We quickly saddled the horses and made our way out of the Red Keep, over the bridge and towards Flea Bottom, where one of the main gates are. The streets we took were empty. We did our best to stay as far away from Baelor's statue as possible. Before we knew it we were on the king's road, heading North. It was difficult riding, with Winter running and trotting alongside us and the sickness I felt. I knew we couldn't stop, not until we put a couple leagues between us and the castle. But all I felt was sickness and pain. It was sunset when we finally stopped and made camp off of the King's road. 

Marian helped me off my horse and told me to rest while she started the fire. Selfishly I accepted. I leaned up against a tree while Winter laid down to my left. I closed my eyes and instantly succumbed to sleep.

I was back at the inn near the river. The inn where Nymeria disappeared and Lady was killed. A ghostly looking Ned stared at me with that cold look that only Starks could make. 

"You promised me Rhaella, you promised me you'd leave" he scolded. 

"I can't! Things have changed, I need to see them" I tried to reason. 

"You're breaking your word" he continued. 

"I will go there...someday but not now, can't you understand that?" I pleaded. He only looked at me with disappointment. 

"Ned please, I'm sorry but I have to" 

"No, you don't. You'll put them in danger, you'll put yourself in danger, it will only end in death" he warns before turning to exit the room. 

"Wait...Lord Stark, how are you here? Are you from the future as well?" I ask curiously. He turns and looks at me with a sad smile. 

"I'm afraid my future is over child, I only hope yours won't be," he says softly and exits the room. The room starts to vanish and I'm back in the meadow, wearing the red silk dress, and there he was. 

"Oh Jon" I sigh in relief feeling tears start to run down my cheeks at the sight of him. I ran towards him and let him pull me into his arms. 

"What's wrong? Is everything alright?" he asks as he holds me in his arms, and I'm finally able to relax. 

"It's just...Ned was here...in this weird dreamscape, he reminded me of the promise I made to him, about leaving Westeros to go find my sister. But I told him I couldn't, that I had to get back to you" I explained hurriedly as I pulled away from Jon's embrace. 

"You should listen to him, you should leave Westeros and cross the Narrow Sea," he tells me in all seriousness, the Stark stern expression engulfing his features. 

"No! Try to convince me all you want but I am coming to see you! You and Robb! I need to, please!" I begged. As if I needed his blessing to go see his younger counterpart. 

"Even if it means your life?! Our child's life?!" he snapped at me, his eyes seeming harsher than the normal soft chocolate. 

"Nothing is going to happen to me, or our child. But I'll be damned if this child comes into this world and doesn't get to meet her father!" I snap back. 

"Love, I took an oath, to father no child and take no wives. You need to cross the Narrow Sea and go to your sister. Or at the very least go to Robb for a little while before you go, but not here" he tells me. 

"You don't get to decide that!" I spit about to turn away, but he holds me still. 

"I'm sorry, it is your decision to make, but you promised me you'd stay safe, and the wall isn't a safe place, the North isn't a safe place," he tells me. 

"I don't care, I just want to see you, actual you" I reply, breaking his grasp on my shoulders and take his hands in mine. 

"We're coming to see you Jon, and you can't keep us away," I tell him with a grin. He moves down and I move up to connect our lips. I can feel the fire stirring up in my abdomen at the taste of his lips. But it wasn't just a fire...I pull away from the kiss for a moment and feel it again, a kick. 

"Jon...put your hand on my stomach for a moment" I whisper quietly, causing Jon to give me a weird look, but he obliges. I smile at the feel of his hand on my stomach and then, another little kick rumbles through me, right where Jon's hand is. 

"Is that...what I think it is?" he asks me hesitantly. A grin breaks out on my face as I watch his gaze meet mine, and a smile appears on his lips. He quickly pulls me into a hug and reconnects our lips once more. 

"Gods I love you" he mumbles and resumes our kiss, reigniting the fire in my belly. It felt like hours, the time we spent in each other's embrace. But I needed it, no words, just his touch. The sound of his heartbeat was so soothing it was the only thing I wanted to hear for the rest of my life. And his arms, oh how I wanted to live in those arms. And his lips, tasting of ale it felt like I was getting drunk off his kiss. And the feel of his breath on my cheeks. The soft and tenderness, it was all I could ever ask for. And then there was another kick. 

"Our time is almost up" Jon mumbled softly, pulling away to look into my eyes. 

"I don't want to say goodbye, not yet" I whispered, feeling the tears roll down my cheeks, but they sizzled and evaporated into the air. 

"I know, I don't want to say goodbye either but we must, we'll see each other again, as stubborn as you are, I wouldn't want to be the person who's going to get in your way" he tells me with a tender smile, cupping my right cheek with his gloved left hand. I smile at the gesture, feeling another tear slip down my cheek. 

I woke up, late into the night with Marian's hazel eyes watching me. 

"You sleep very strangely" she commented in a very thick accent, so different from her normal voice I've gotten accustomed to. 

"Your voice has changed" I mumble as I sit up a little, causing Winter to shift a bit in her sleep. 

"I'm from the Iron Islands. Any further comments on my changes?" She asks me, anger radiating off of her. As if she had been bottling up pain for years and only now was able to let it go and even then only a little. 

"I-I'm sorry" I stammer back, rising to my feet and grabbing my sword Black Sister. 

"Hey, where are you going?" she asks me hurriedly. 

"I'm taking the next watch, we'll both need sleep and this isn't the safest place. By now the Queen knows I've gone and gods know what other chaos has ensued" I reply emptily, moving to the end of our camp, wanting to be alone with my thoughts for a while. My thoughts and Hope. I laid my hand on my stomach and felt another kick, causing me to smile. 

I looked up at the night sky, the full moon, the stars, and smiled. I fiddled with my direwolf ring as I looked up at the moon, wondering if Jon was looking at the moon too. 

Robb couldn't think, or breath. All that clouded his mind was anger and pain. He grabbed his sword, a sword that was a gift from his father and went to the edge of their camp. He marched up to the largest tree he could find and swung. He swung his sword with all of his might, determined that the tree should fall by his sword. His arms started to tremble with fatigue and his head ached with pain but he kept swinging. The tree had to die. Its bark became Cersei's face than Joffery's, over and over again. They had to pay, they needed to die. it had to end. 

"Robb" his mother called out to him in a broken voice. But Robb couldn't hear her, Robb couldn't hear anything through his pain. 

"Robb, you'll ruin your sword" his mother tried again, which caused Robb to stop. His anger was fading fast, he was starting to break. 

"I don't care" Robb choked back and that's when his mother hugged him. Robb could feel his anger return as tears rolled down his cheeks. 

"We'll make them pay," Catelynn said soothingly, trying to mask her pain for the sake of her son. But she wasn't doing it very well. 

"The lords need to hear from you, they need to know your plan" Catelynn whispered as she held her child in her arms. Her sweet baby boy, who wasn't a baby anymore but a man. 

"Plan? Storming into King's Landing with vengeance in my heart is hardly a plan!" Robb snapped, pulling back. 

"No, but an alliance might be" Catelynn reasoned. 

They walked back to the camp as the sun began to set, Robb having no clue what he should do or how he should do it. As the camp argued over whether to pledge to Stannis or Renly, Robb's thoughts were drifting. Drifting to her as they so often did, but these thoughts were different. Was she alive? Did she survive, along with his sisters? The baby? Would she forgive him?

"I say enough of this! What do we care of the fools to the South?!" One of Robb's bannermen shouted, silencing the camp and drawing Robb back to the present, and away from her. There were grunts and murmurs of agreement. 

"I say to hell with them! They know nothing of the North, I say, we choose our own king!" the man continued, pacing in the middle of the camp, looking over the northern men. 

"To Robb Stark! The King in the North!" Lord Karstark shouted, pulling out his sword and bending the knee to his new king. The rest of his men followed suit, proclaiming Robb as their new King. It wasn't until later that night that Robb received the raven and realized the mistake he had made. 

Jon's mind was clouded, fogged with rage and need to act. Jon cried when he heard of Ned's death, but those cries turned to screams which lead to action. It was the dead of night and Jon had everything prepared. He and Ghost were going to leave, find Rhaella and get to Robb. His brother needed him, and so did she. 

Jon stopped and looked up at the moon, absentmindedly fiddling with his ring as he did. He prayed to the gods that his family was alright. That she was alright, that their child was alright. He continued on and quickly saddled up one of the horses and hopped on. Just as he was going to ride through the gate, Samwell showed up, blocking his path. 

"Jon, you can't do this" Sam huffed up at him. 

"Step aside Sam" Jon replied sternly, not daring to look down at his friend. 

"You made a vow, you'll be a deserter! No...I won't let you do this!" Sam declared, trying his best to hold his ground. 

"Step aside" Jon answered again emotionlessly. But Sam didn't move, so Jon rode towards and around him, Ghost followed obediently as Jon rode out the gate and into the night ridden forest. 

Jon wasn't sure exactly where he should ride to. Moles town would be his first stop but where to from there? His half-brother Robb? Winterfell and the boys? Or straight to King's Landing, to her and their child? Jon was so consumed by his thoughts and possible outcomes that he didn't notice until now that he was being followed. He could hear three riders and they were gaining on him. 

Jon pushed his horse faster, making Ghost sprint alongside him in the snowy woods. Jon looked back briefly to see who his pursuers were, surely Sam wouldn't have gone and told the Lord Commander. And Commander Mormont wouldn't bother to send troops after him, would he? 

But Jon only saw Pip, Sam, Grenn, and Ed. His friends, persuaded by Sam to come and stop him. But they didn't know the stakes, none of them did. Yes, Jon had taken his vow with Sam beyond the wall in front of the Weirwood tree, the old gods. But things had changed. He could still hear her voice in his head, asking him of the cost, if he would just toss her aside. Gods knew he didn't want to, but it was for her own good, at least at the time it was. 

Jon stopped when he heard the other horses' hooves stop. Surely they hadn't already given up? Jon turned around to see Sam, fallen from his horse into the snow, with the others surrounded by his side. Jon sighed in frustration and turned back around, Ghost by his side as he trotted over to his fallen friend. 

"What are you all doing out here?" Jon asked, annoyed. 

"We came to stop you, you took a vow..." Pip said as he helped Sam to his feet. 

"Things have changed my brother needs me! She..." Jon cut himself off, the others didn't know about her, nor did they need to know. 

"We're your brothers now, I'm sure your Kingly brother can take care of himself" Grenn stated, all of them holding up their torches to include Jon into the light as if the light would draw Jon back to them. 

Yes...I'm sure Robb doesn't need me, and he'd be forced to deal with my desertion. Her on the other hand, she does need me, they both do. 

"We took a vow, Jon, we all did" Pip adds in. 

"Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come." They chant in unison, making Jon smile sadly. He took a vow, he gave his word and pledged himself a brother of the Night's Watch. A vow he could not break...that would cost him his life if he did and he knew that she would never forgive him if he died. He promised her he would live, so live he shall. 

It felt like a long ride to return back to Castle Black, and with every step, it felt like she was slipping away, or fading from existence. 

Thankfully the party returned just before daybreak, so they weren't classified as deserters, technically. Jon couldn't sleep when he returned back to bed, he couldn't help but feel he had let her down, her and their child. 

Later that morning Jon was summoned to the Lord Commander's chambers, no doubt to be punished for last night. So after breakfast, Jon made his way to the Lord Commander's chambers, seeing the sword, Long Claw still on his desk, where Jon had laid it last night. 

"So loyalty brought you back," Mormont said, looking up at Jon. 

"My friends brought me back" Jon replied. 

"I'm glad they did, now are you back for good?" Mormont continued, crossing his arms over his stomach. 

"Yes, I am" 

"Good, now take your sword, you'll be needing it for where we're going" he mumbled. 

"Going, sir?" Jon asked, slightly confused. 

"Beyond the wall. The Kings won't help us or bother listening to us, and a large army is said to be growing, of wildlings. So we're riding out, beyond the wall to see and to go find your Uncle. Gods only know what we'll find when we go" Mormont says with a heaving sigh. 

So the next morning everyone saddled up, Jon with his sword by the Lord Commander with Samwell in the back with the cage full of ravens. 

Who knows what would have happened if they would have remained a little longer. If Jon would have received the raven addressed to him that arrived a mere hour after he left. Maybe he would have asked to stay behind...maybe he would have made a better effort to come back as soon as he could. Maybe...but he'll never know now because the news arrived too late...news he'd regret not having received sooner for the rest of his life.


	14. Chapter 14

Robb~

I am making my way towards you as we speak, I am escaping the palace and making my way as far North as I can. Don't worry about me, or the baby, we're fine and we'll be at your side soon enough, but there is something I have to do first and I think you know what that is. Thank you for everything and I promise I'll be there soon, with love~Rhaella

Robb was shocked, to say the least. He didn't think or know if she would make it out alive after what they did to his father and now? To hear of her survival, of her impending return to him after what he had agreed to. How could he face her? How could he look her in the eyes and tell her of his betrayal? But he'd be lying if he didn't say he felt betrayed in turn. Perhaps they weren't wed and he wasn't the father of her child, but he still loved her, gods know why because it was a tortuous love he felt, knowing she loved another. But he loved her all the same. 

Robb kept the news to himself and the weight it bore on him was visible. Between planning a war, having the Kingslayer in captivity, the Freys, his mother and now her inevitable return. Robb felt spent. 

Perhaps it was what caused Theon to present his plan to 'his King'. 

"Robb, are you doing alright mate?" Theon asked as he sat and dined with his friend. 

"As well as can be expected I suppose" Robb answered dryly, taking another sip of wine from his goblet. 

"It must be hard, planning a war, your sister's and child captives of the Lannisters, your mother breathing down your back, being named King in the North..."

"Your point Theon?" Robb asked, not having the patience for Theon's games. 

"I want to help, let me serve you as a friend, as a brother," Theon said soft and slow, sensing Robb's agitation. 

"How?" Robb asked, only slightly intrigued by the prospect of help. It seemed he had to do everything himself these days, and it was working. Robb didn't know if his luck would vanish if he let someone help carry his load. 

"Let me sail to Pyke, my father has dozens of warships and I can talk him into helping us. With them, we'll be able to storm King's Landing within a month" Theon explained, a hopeful look in his eyes. 

"Theon, you're like a brother to me, you know that. I need you here to help me with my armies not to go searching for empty promises in the Iron Islands" Robb sighed, feeling a need to rub his forehead from a stress headache he was getting. 

"At least think about it" Theon answered back, continuing on with his meal. 

And think he did. Robb spent the rest of the morning weighing out the pros and cons of Theon's departure. He wasn't a real Stark so he wouldn't be much value and was unlikely to get captured along the way. He was a Greyjoy and in theory heir to the Iron Islands, which might sway his father to lend Robb their fleet. The more Robb thought about it, the more reasonable it seemed to sound. Why not send Theon off on a diplomatic mission? To his blood relations no less, the worse they would do to Theon is say no, right? 

So later that day he told Theon to go and send a raven when he received an answer. 

"You will not regret this" Theon answered happily as he rode off, towards the sea. 

"Are you mad?!" 

Robb's headache only grew at the sound of his mother's scolding voice. 

"What is it now mother?" He asked, trying to be patient as she stormed into his tent, anger written all over her face. 

"Do you really think it wise to send Theon off on his own to the Greyjoys?!" his mother asked as if the answer were obvious. 

"I do, he thinks he could get his father's fleet for us which would have a huge impact in the war" Robb answered simply, not quite having the energy to yell back at his mother, not yet. 

"He is a Greyjoy! They cannot be trusted!" 

"He's lived with us for years mother, raised as one of my brothers and I trust him as such" 

"Robb" 

"Mother! I am a King now, it is time I started acting like one and King's don't go running to their mother for every little decision that needs to be made!" Robb snapped, not in the mood for any more negotiating. 

"I'm not trying to puppet you Robb, I only want to help guide you and offer my advice" she answered quietly, with patience. 

"And I appreciate that, but sometimes I need to listen to my own mind" Robb replied back, standing up from his chair and exiting his tent, leaving his mother to her own worries. 

Robb walked towards the wooden cage, separated from the other captives of war, where two guards were in place. Greywind followed him obediently as he typically did and Robb was glad of it. To have a companion that was loyal and didn't offer advice, only comfort. It was a luxury Robb didn't take for granted. When he approached the gate both guards gave him a respectful nod of their heads. 

"Leave us" Robb ordered, which felt strange coming off of his tongue, give orders outside of battle instead of requests. Both men nodded and walked off, leaving Robb and Greywind to enter the cage where the Kingslayer was held captive. 

"Ah, well if it isn't the boy playing at war. I hear they're calling you a King now" Jamie Lannister said with his smug smile.

"I've come to hear what news you have from King's Landing" Robb replied. 

"Ah, come to hear whats become of your sisters and Lady love?" Jamie answered with the same smug smile, with a hint of sarcasm hidden behind his eyes. 

"Do you have news or no? Or maybe 3 more days without food or water will loosen your tongue" Robb replied menacingly. 

"Just like your father, cruelty in the manner but not in the action, one day boy that will get you killed" 

Robb continued his glare, losing his patience. 

"Alright, you've persuaded me" Jamie replied with a half-laugh. Robb waited as Jamie readjusted himself. 

"Last I saw your sisters are safe and if my sister was smart she would keep them safe and sound until the moment arrived when she had use of them, a bargaining chip, means of persuasion" Jamie replied emptily. 

"I'd expect nothing less, and my wife? What of her?" Robb asked, happy to hear his sisters would be kept safe, for now. But what he desperately wanted to know was the fate of her. 

"The white-haired girl with the big stomach?" Jamie asked with a smile, causing Robb to roll his eyes. 

"Well, for her...I'm not too sure. Cersei might have her killed seeing as how she's Targaryen, she's a threat to Joffery's crown. She might wait till the child is born to make her move, she might carve the child out of the girl's stomach, the possibilities are limitless, but all of them result in the girl's death. But there is one option that might save her if Cersei chooses to use it..." Jamie mumbled thoughtfully. 

"What option would that be?" 

"Release me, abandon the North and bend the knee to my nephew, beg for her life by giving up yours or by taking the black. Abandon this foolishness you've started and be smart. Or not and lose your child, your Lady and let her fade away from your mind until she becomes a distant memory" Jamie said, cruelty in his voice. Robb couldn't help but smile. 

"Well then, I suppose my choice has been made," Robb said, confusing Jamie with his happy manner. 

"Really?" Jamie asked skeptically. 

"Really" 

"And what choice is that?" 

"Get a fleet of ships from the Greyjoys, lead the bulk of the North against Cersei and Joffrey and all of King's Landing and take their heads and yours when I'm finished" Robb replied, cruelty and anger flowing off of his tongue and into Jamie's ears, sending a shiver down his spine. 

"Have you heard nothing of what I've just said? Or are you so heartless you'd lead the girl to her and her child's slaughter in King's Landing?" 

"Who's to say she's still there?" 

Jon never had many problems with the cold. To others, some days it was unbearable, while other times it was just a mild inconvenience. But that was back at the wall. Beyond it was different. Beyond the wall the cold winter winds were merciless, and the snow fell in sheets and piles. The morning frost covered everything. Despite its beauty, it was a silent killer. He was a fool, to tell her to come this far North, even if it was beyond the wall, it was still a living hell. Her inability to handle the cold? the wrights? Wildlings? What in seven hells was he thinking?! 

Jon's thoughts raced as he fiddled with the ring on his finger, thinking about her. The one thing he couldn't leave behind, or seem to escape. Deep down he knew why he invited her to come North. He needed her, her and their child. He needed to see them, to hold them both in his arms, to give him the strength and warmth he needed to survive. He couldn't live without her, he knew this now and she knew it before they both left. 

They needed each other like one needs a heart. They were each other's hearts, life sources, souls. She carried him with her every day, even more so with their child. And he did the same, in his heart and mind, and with the ring, he wore on his left ring finger. He fiddled with it from time to time but dared not take it off for fear of it becoming lost. As if somehow losing his ring would result in him losing a little bit of her. 

"Snow, why don't you join us inside?" Commander Mormont requested as some of the other brothers started entering the home. They had stopped their journey at Craster's Keep, a wildling who was a bit of a friend to the Night's Watch. Rangers would always stop by for a night on their way out scouting. 

"As you wish Commander" Jon answered, stopping his task of unloading the wagons and began walking towards the building if it could be considered as such. Jon was surprised it could even stand at all. The inside was only a bit better than the outside. It was drafty and a bit overcrowded with all the women and men of the nights watch. But there were fires, and a roof over their heads, so it was better than being out in the open. 

Lord Commander Mormont began questioning Craster, about the abandoned villages and homes they had come across during their journey. Craster gave only half answers and was blatantly rude towards the Commander. Jon could feel his temper starting to rise and tried his best to keep himself in check, but the Commander wasn't defending himself! None of the other men dared to raise their voices in defense of the Commander either so...Jon blurted out his contempt. Craster's tone quickly turned harsh and fierce, Jon realized his mistake as Mormont begged forgiveness and promised to keep Jon in line and offered up gifts for repentance. 

Soon after Jon was led out of the shelter by the Lord Commander and tossed roughly away. 

"Do you want to lead someday boy?!" the Commander spit at him, catching Jon off guard. 

"Well do you?!" The Commander pressed, looking at Jon with daggers in his eyes. 

"Yes sir" he answered. His suspicions of being chosen to tend to Mormont as being groomed to lead confirmed. 

"Then learn how to follow!" The Commander snapped, crudely explaining to him once again all that Craster has done for the Night's Watch, even if he is vile he is the reason for our brother's survival. 

That night Jon found a small sheltered spot under a pine tree and laid there with Ghost, thankful for his warmth. But as he laid there waiting for sleep, his mind started to drift once more to her. Was she a prisoner, hostage of the Lannister's like his sisters probably were? Did she escape? How was the child? But the question that kept coming back to his mind was, is she still alive? This question shook Jon to his core. He'd like to think he'd know somehow, through some divine force if she had perished. He would have felt it in his heart if she was dead. But something was nagging at him. Something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what it could be. Out of the vast amount of possibilities of what could be wrong, it was something he had not yet thought of, and this troubled him and his dreams. 

I was losing all sense of direction, or at least that's how it seemed. We'd been traveling for weeks, but for as much riding we did I thought I would feel colder. I had a suspicion we weren't traveling North, or at least as far North as we should be traveling. Marian wasn't the best traveling companion in any capacity. She was always rushed and treated me like a porcelain doll, which in some ways it felt like I was. I was large with child, a child that seemed like it could appear any day, which only made riding harder and slower. Marian pressed me though, despite the pain I felt in my spine or the sickness or discomfort she pressed us on. When we broke for the night I almost fell off of my horse from fatigue. We had run out of food awhile ago and were living off the land, meaning anything Marian could find or kill. 

It was during these times that Marian was kindest. Full of concern and keeping her eyes fixed on me as if waiting for the moment I was to snap. She began an older sister during the night and a master during the day. 

Tonight though she was especially caring as if knowing how much pain my body was going through. 

"Can I get you anything?" she asked, a question she would ask often. Winter had gone off hunting for herself, another nightly ritual.

"My satchel please," I asked weakly, setting aside my skin of water. She walked over to my horse and grabbed it, along with the blade, which she carried for me, saying it would better protect us because of the Valyrian steel. 

As if knowing what I would do with my satchel anyways she pulling out the Dragon Egg, wrapped carefully in its silken scarves. Delicately she pulled the scarves away and handed it to me. 

"I still don't understand why you insist on holding that rock everytime we make camp" she scoffed as she would every night I asked this of her. To which I replied. 

"It's not just a rock" which I repeated every night as well, like clockwork. She rolled her eyes and returned her focus back to the pair of rabbits she was cooking. 

I held the Egg in my hands, trying to emit heat from my hands into the core of the egg. I could feel something in there but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't wake it. 

"How much longer until we reach Castle Black?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the egg, waiting for it to hatch. It was the first time I asked about our destination and Marian was eerily quiet. I looked up and saw her staring at the rabbits, intently as if she was blocking out everything else but those rabbits. 

"Marian?" I asked again. After a long silence, she answered. 

"We won't" she muttered softly. I sat up in surprise. 

"Are we making a detour first, to Robb?" I asked, slightly angered that she would change our plans without telling me. But I was also upset with myself for not knowing about the subtle change in direction. 

"No" she answered again, silently that I almost didn't hear it. 

"What?" I asked, my voice on the verge of breaking. She remained silent. 

"Then where the hell is it we're going?!" I asked suddenly full of rage. Her eyes remained on the rabbits, not daring to meet my gaze. 

"Answer me!" I shouted, the flames leaping up from the fire, coming close to burning Marian, forcing her gaze to meet mine. 

"East" 

"East isn't a place!" I snapped back. 

"No, but there are ports and boats, boats that will take us across the Narrow Sea and to Daenerys" she answered simply. 

"No, NO! I wrote to Robb and Jon, they're expecting me! I can't just leave!" 

"They won't be expecting you..." she whispered with a heavy sigh, looking back down at the rabbits. 

"What do you mean they won't be expecting me?" 

"I mean those raven scrolls you wrote will never be delivered...they've been replaced with forgery's" she answered calmly. 

"W-what do they say? What do they think I've written them?!" I shout. She sighs, pained and sad. 

"Notes, from your deathbed. And after that a short writing from Vary's about how you and your child died during childbirth, they'll have been sent by now, no one is waiting for you," she said, looking up at me with a determined look on her face. But I only looked back at her with horror in my eyes. 

"No...No I have to go see Jon...and Robb, and...and" I started to panic, feeling pain shoot through me, making me close my eyes and cry out softly. 

"I'm sorry Rhaella, but Varys and I both thought it was best...and you promised Ned you would leave, that you would cross the Narrow Sea and leave" she reasoned. I opened my mouth to reply but pain shot up my spine instead, making me scream and drop the egg to the ground, my hands moving instinctively to my stomach. 

"Rhaella?!" Marian shouted, fear in her eyes as she ran over to me. 

"It's the baby...she's coming" I answered through gritted teeth, pain overtaking all of my senses. I screamed again from the pain and began to weep. This wasn't how it was supposed to be...this wasn't how it was going to happen...I wasn't supposed to be alone...this wasn't how....this wasn't how...


	15. Chapter 15

Jon still felt like something wasn't right. It wasn't just because he was unable to sleep that night, or because he was beyond the wall in Wildling territory, it was a feeling he couldn't quite place. He had a pain in his stomach and an ache in his heart. He felt anxious and sad for reasons he couldn't quite place. He found himself the next morning clutching his finger with the ring on it in his hand as if trying to hold onto it for some reason or other. He tried to shake it off the next morning but it was proving harder than he thought it would be. 

Despite the beauty the morning brought, which only made him think of her. How her hair was the color of the fresh frost and snow, those enchanting lilac eyes. He closed his eyes and pictured her as best as he could, which he was doing more often than not. He was worried he would forget what she looked like if he didn't try to picture her at least once a day. Yes, it contradicted with what he originally intended, to forget her, to not bring her memory to such a cold desolate place. But when Jon woke up the other morning he could not picture her, he couldn't bring her memory to mind and it frightened him to death. He grew panicked but after a moment he remembered. He remembered every detail and started to picture what their child would look like. 

Would she have his hair or hers? Would she have her heart-warming smile or his harsh demeanor? Her purple eyes or his muddy brown eyes? Thinking about it caused Jon to smile, but it would also break his heart. Yes, the child was his by blood, but it wouldn't be his in name. He would be an uncle that was rarely seen, like his uncle Benjen was to him. A father, but not. And her. It pained him to think he would never be able to see her or touch her ever again. That she would become a sister to him and that's what hurt him most. He would be thankful to see her again, but it would be torture to not be able to hold her, or kiss her, or make love to her ever again. 

Jon was snapped out of his thoughts when a young girl approached him. 

"Hello...who are you?" Jon asked hesitantly, knowing Craster specifically told the men not to talk to his daughters or wives. 

"I'm Gilly. Sam told me to find you, he told me that you would help me" she answered placing a hand on her stomach, indicating she was pregnant and from what Jon could see she was pretty far along. 

"Well he's wrong" Jon answered stiffly. 

"Please...he told me you'd help" she replied, as if not fully understanding his words. 

"I'm not even supposed to be talking to you, what makes you think I can help?" Jon said, harsher this time, trying to make the girl leave. He had enough troubles of his own, and he didn't want to add this girls troubles to the pot. 

"Sam said..."

"Like I said before, Sam was wrong, now you should go back," Jon said, shaking out his cloak that was covered in the morning's frost. Wordlessly, she left, Ghost walking towards him in his place. 

A little while later, like he expected, Sam came walking over to him. 

"Now why would you do that? She only wanted help" Sam reasoned. 

"And what do you want me to do about it? What did you think would happen? We'd smuggle her back to Castle Black?" Jon snapped, making Sam silent but only for a moment. 

"She thinks she's having a boy Jon, and do you see any boys around? What do you think he does with them?" Sam replied, but Jon remained silent. 

"There's nothing we can do Sam, leave it be" Jon grumbled, pulling his cloak of feathers back on.

"How can you be so cruel? What if it was your child in there?" 

Jon froze. He couldn't know, could he?

"What did you just say?" Jon asked warily. 

"I said, what if it was your child? What if it was your son in there, waiting to be slaughtered or who knows what? Would you do something then?" Sam asked boldly. 

"Well it's not my child and it's not yours either so you should leave it be" Jon replied emotionlessly, getting irritated with Sam for giving him something else to ponder. 

And ponder he did. For the rest of the day, Jon kept thinking and worrying about his child. Gods know where it was, or if it was safe, or if it was still in its mother or not? He mumbled strings of curses, to Sam and to himself. Why did he take the black? 

Would you so easily cast me aside?!

Her words echoed in his ear. Her harsh, heartbroken words. But he did it for her, didn't he? He had to ride North, so she wouldn't stay, so she would go south for her own health. But now? His father was slaughtered in the south and who knows what had become of his sisters and her? Did he send her off to her own slaughter? Had he killed them both by taking the black and reciting his vows?

Jon was restless that night, trying to sleep despite knowing he couldn't. Which is how he spotted Craster...carrying a little baby away from his home and out into the night. 

Jon followed him as he walked endlessly into the dark forest, it was only when Craster stopped and knelt down, leaving the newborn babe in the snow, that Jon pulled out his sword. How could he just abandon his child? 

Jon crept closer but stopped in his tracks and hid behind a tree when he saw the icy figure approach. Jon was briefly confused but all was clear when he saw the piercing, glowing blue eyes. The figure bent down and picked up the babe, and began to walk away. Jon was about to get up, to go defend the child when he felt something behind him. Jon turned around and saw Craster, raising up a sword to him and then all went black. 

Jon knew this wasn't like his other dreams. It wasn't like his dreams with the older Rhaella, this was different. It was strange...it was dark and yet he could hear the screams and the crying. He could feel the pain and hear his name being called out and being lost to the wind. She was calling for him. Begging and pleading and praying, for him. 

"I'm here! Rhaella I'm here!" he called, searching blindly through the darkness to reach her. She needed him, she was in pain...her heart was being ripped apart and he could feel it. He turned and then he saw her. 

She was laying on the ground, screaming and withering in pain. He bent down and grabbed her hand, squeezing it as hard as he could. 

"I'm here...don't worry...I'm right here with you" he whispered, which made her cry more. 

"Jon...Jon, please...Jon" she sobbed in between screams of pain. 

He couldn't do anything but hold her hand and whisper words of comfort and cry right alongside her. Cry because she was in pain. Cry because he was there but not really there. Because he missed her, because of everything. Time passed differently...and before Jon knew it, she was gone. 

But in her stead was a child, a small baby girl with white curly hair. He held her in his arms and smiled down at her as she smiled up at him. She looked so much like her, soft and pale and fragile. It was his baby girl, who had dark brown eyes with what seemed like a rim of violet around the edges. She seemed to smile up at him and he was instantly in love. She was his. 

But all too soon he was gone. And all was still. 

I felt so empty and numb. Like nothing was real or truly mattered. We were riding for the narrow sea. Three days had past but it only felt like a moment, nothing more. 

All I knew was the pain. Pain and discomfort and the sense that something was very wrong. I squeezed my eyes shut and I could faintly tell that my arms were moved up, clawing at the tree behind me in order to ground myself to reality. I had started to go in and out of consciousness and in that state of in between, I was with Jon. Somehow, by the grace of the gods perhaps, he was there with me. I could feel him squeezing my hand and calling out to me, encouraging me. 

I was screaming for him, begging for him to be really there, not to leave me. I needed him, and at that time when I needed him most, he was gone. During that horrible day when I needed him by my side, he wasn't there. Quickly that small space of in-between was gone and I was lost to oblivion. 

I awoke a day later, feeling empty, like part of me was missing, lost to the world. Winter was laying by side on the earthy forest floor. Marian sat across from me, empty-handed. 

"Where is she? I want to see her" I begged, my voice hoarse from disuse, and from the screams. 

"Rhaella" she replied, giving me a saddened expression in return. 

"Please...I need to see her, she needs me!" I cried out, feeling the tears flow freely down my cheeks at the realization of my situation. 

"Rhaella, she's with the gods now..." Marian told me, tears starting to well up in her eyes as well. 

"Rhaella, you need to eat" 

I looked to my left and saw Marian give me a concerned look as we rode towards the shore, Winter was trotting alongside me on my right. 

"I'm fine" I mumbled absently, not having the strength for such a trivial conversation. 

"You're not fine" she snapped back. I didn't bother to reply, what was the point? 

Marian let me hold her after I begged and pleaded. She was a small thing, barely the size of Winter when she was a pup. She had a full head of hair, white like mine and curly like her father's. Her eyes were closed so I couldn't tell if she had my violet eyes or his chocolate eyes. She was wrapped up in an odd bit of cloth, so it looked as if she was sleeping. But her pale face and cold figure told a different story. 

I smiled, tears continuing to flow from my cheeks and down off my chin. This was my fault...it was all my fault.

"Look at me!" Marian commanded, her voice thick with the accent from the Iron Islands, a voice much like Theon's. 

So I turned my head and looked her dead in the eyes. Her eyes were stern and unyielding, but the longer she looked at me the more I could see her stern look start to falter. She was breaking, or maybe it was a reflection of me, maybe I was breaking, shattering into thousands of pieces and I didn't even know it. But I know what she saw when she looked at me. Nothing. 

"Please...don't do this Rhaella" Marian begged. I had just finished putting together the funeral pyre, for Hope, the egg and myself. 

"Why are you so worried?" I asked her with a sad smile. I knew that I wouldn't be burned, that I couldn't join my daughter through fire. I wasn't sure how, but I knew. 

"Because...I care...I care about you and what happens" she explained, tears in her eyes as I picked up the egg and the torch. Winter sat by the tree opposite to the one with the funeral pyre, she only watched in mild curiosity, as if she somehow knew too. 

"Its no good getting attached to me Marian, I'm dead remember?" I told her with an empty smile. Feeling nothing. 

"You aren't dead, at least not to me. Don't do this Rhaella, killing yourself in this way won't solve anything" she snapped at me, using anger and force to try and persuade me. 

"If only it were that simple" I mumbled with a sigh. I laid the torch down at the bed of sticks and watched in wonder as the flames instantly licked at it. It was then I realized that there wasn't enough room. I thought I had made a bed fit for the three of us, but it would fit only two. 

I walked forward, letting the heat and flames wash over me as I laid the egg in the center of the pyre, right next to Hope. I sat there, next to the heat and the flames and watched. In the morning, laying in the ashes, was a baby dragon, adorned in silver, white and grey scales. It squeaked and seemed to cry out for me. I moved my right arm forward, allowing it to crawl up and perch itself on my shoulder. I turned around to see Marian looking at me in astonishment the same as Winter who rose to her feet and stood by Marian looking dumbfounded. 

"Visenya" I whispered, naming my newborn child. 

We were half a days journey away from the eastern shore. Marian said that there would be a ship waiting for us per Varys' request. A ship that would transport us across the narrow sea and to the city of Qarth, where my sister was closest too. 

"I've never told you my story" Marian admitted as walked alongside our horses towards the sea. 

"I never thought you'd want to" I answered, glancing down at Winter who trotted at my feet, with Visenya snuggled up in the fur of her back. The two had grown accustomed to each other the past few days and Winter would often act as protector towards the young dragon. 

"You are my princess now, I pledge my sword and my life to your service, I think you deserve a little bit of my story" she smiled in reply. 

"Very well then, what do you want me to know?" I ask curiously. All I knew was that she was from the Iron Islands and that she was faking an accent in King's Landing. 

"For one, my real name is Myra Greyjoy. Heir to the iron islands, at least I was. I had to escape so I ran and ended up in King's Landing. Varys took me in, and here we are" she says in an almost cryptic manner. 

"Myra...more suiting for someone from the Iron Islands. As for you pledge, I accept it but I hope you know it's not necessary. You don't have to follow me or pledge to me your sword, well my sword actually, you can watch me get on that ship and leave if you so desire" I tell her. 

"I won't leave you, as I said you are my princess now, I will protect you and serve you as faithfully as I can for as long as I'm able. You won't be rid of me that easily" she tells me with a smile. I give a half-hearted smile. 

"Thank you, Myra," I tell her earnestly. We spoke about our lives for the rest of the journey, only little stories, nothing too detailed. But when she asked me who Hope's father is, that's when things grew awkward between us. I couldn't think of a reason not to tell her, but to speak his name would rip apart my heart all over again. 

"You wouldn't know him"


	16. Chapter 16

Jon wouldn't admit just how much pain he was in, at least not out loud. Not only because of the beating Craster gave him, a beating that left cuts and bruises all over his skin and peppered his face with blood. No, not only because of that but because he was ripped away from the woman he loved most in the world right when she needed him. And their child, he had only gotten to hold her a moment before she was ripped away too. And because of that Jon was in pain, and full of anger. 

He was tossed inside Craster's house like a sack of flour, landing on the floor and his bruised ribs. 

"Out! All of you!" Craster shouted in anger. Jon slowly pulled himself off the floor as the Lord Commander and Craster spoke, negotiating to one more night in the man's keep and then being on their way. 

Mormont led Jon outside and pinned him to one of the stable pillars. 

"WHO AM I?!" he shouted at Jon. Jon remained silent, unsure of himself and of the Lord Commander's wrath. 

"WHO AM I?!" he continued to shout. 

"Lord Commander" Jon answered meekly. 

"And what are you?" 

Jon had so multiple answers to that question. A bastard, a father, a lover, a friend, a man. But the answer Mormont wanted was

"A steward, your steward" 

"Exactly"

"But Lord Commander, the boys, he's been sacrificing em, leaving them for dead" Jon exclaimed, but the Lord Commander gave a shifty look, not daring to meet Jon's gaze. 

"You knew" Jon mumbled, feeling disgusted at the thought that the Lord Commander knew and still stayed with Craster, allowed rangers to stay in his home as guests. 

"Of course I knew! But as I said before, Craster is a friend to the Night's Watch, countless rangers have stayed in his keep and will continue to do so as long as you keep your mouth shut and mind yourself" Mormont snapped, before storming away, leaving Jon to tend his wounds. 

Robb was heartbroken. Maybe that's what fueled his rage on the attack on the Lannister camp. It was a ruthless battle and although Robb's mind was active, calculating every swing of his sword and every move he made to avoid being cut, he was numb. It was as if he were fighting in a dream. Nothing felt real, he didn't feel real. 

Earlier the previous day Robb had received a raven, delivered to him by a messenger from Riverrun. He could still feel the written words echoing in the walls of his mind. 

My Dear Robb, 

It pains me to leave you in this way. I wish you could be with me but at the same time, I'm glad you are not. I don't want you to see me like this, to remember me in this way. On my deathbed, knowing that I have failed you in every possible way. I'm sorry I didn't make it, and that our child won't either. I wish you the best in life Robb, to find your happiness. I'll be with you every step, we both will. I love you.

~Rhaella

Robb Stark, I am sorry to inform you that your wife and child died during childbirth. Her words were spoken and written down by the maester so they could be delivered to you. Her final request. 

Her final request. Died during childbirth. Find your happiness. 

All these phrases ran through Robb in a broken loop. He walked away from camp, scroll in his hands and sat down at the base of a tree, somewhere no one would be able to see him. Only then did he cry. Perhaps that was why he was so ruthless in battle, Robb had nothing left to lose. Except for her ghost, something he saw that morning on the battlefield.

Robb was off his horse, swinging his sword at some Lannister soldier when he saw her. As if she were standing right there in the midst of the chaos. A red dress billowing in the wind, along with her white hair. Her lavender eyes watched him in an almost curious manner, but she seemed frightened when he looked back into her eyes. And like that, she was gone. 

Robb was talking to one of his officers after the battle, discussing absentmindedly what would be done with the captives. When he saw her ghost again. The same dress, that same look in her eyes. Standing in the middle of the carnage of the battlefield. Robb was so taken aback that he stopped in his tracks and just watched her. But this time she smiled at him and that smile, that smile that made him fall in love with her in the first place, broke his heart. 

But she disappeared as the sounds of protests and pleading filled his ears. He glanced down and saw a man pleading with a girl for his leg. A Lannister soldier. Robb instantly moved to kneel down by the man. Placing some leather in his mouth and holding him still as the woman began to saw at the man's leg. 

"What's your name?" Robb asked once she had finished. 

"Talisa" she answered simply as she was taken away by one of the healing carts. 

The boat was peaceful at night, at least on some nights. I was sleeping in the Captain's Quarters. We had boarded a boat Captained by Lord Monell of house Daxam, a friend of Myra's, apparently, he was a cabin boy last time they saw each other and he helped her smuggle herself out of the Iron Islands. Upon boarding and seeing my dragon, Lord Daxam had immediately submitted his ship and his and the crew's services to my needs. Proclaiming me a princess among men. It was flattering, and it meant I had a small following of people, but did I rule them? I wasn't completely sure. During the days I would practice my sword fighting with either Myra or Monell if he was available, Visenya would either stay with Winter, curled up in her soft fur or on my shoulder, digging her small claws tightly into my flesh. But I didn't mind the pain, the pain is what reminded me that I was alive, aside from the numbness I felt on a daily basis. And the nightmares that plagued my dreams. 

I was in pain, dread flooded my senses. Something was wrong and I could place what exactly it was. But I was surrounded in shadows that dulled my senses and choked me. I screamed out in pain as the icy cold touch of the shadows surrounded my body and burned me. It seeped into my lungs, making me claw at my own skin. It wanted my fire. Something I would not relinquish. 

"Princess!" 

I gasped for breath as I was pulled from the dream, frantically taking in my surroundings. I was on a boat, in the Captain's Quarters, tucked warmly into a bed full of furs with a fire roaring. I looked by the fire and saw Winter and Visenya sleeping by the flame. And hovering over me was Monell. With his dark hair and beard and a slight mustache. He was a little younger than Myra and handsome. 

"I'm sorry...It was just another bad dream" I mumbled, sitting up slowly in the bed, dressed in only a night shift. Monell sat on the bed and looked me over carefully. 

"Are you alright?" he asks softly, reaching for my hand but I pull it back. I had already burned Myra once because of this gesture, I wouldn't burn him as well. 

"Fine...and please, don't. I don't want to burn you" I mumbled, holding my hand close to my chest as if I was the one in pain. 

"Princess, there is no need to worry about burning me, it is your safety and comfort I care about," he says, moving to stand up. 

"No, wait!" I begged, seeing a bit of Jon in his face. He gave me a curious look as I examined him. He was wearing only some baggy pants, no shirt or shoes. He was pale and had brown eyes, like Jon. 

"Stay?" I asked. And for a moment my normally guarded demeanor had cracked. I was holding onto that image of Jon, pleading with my mind to make it real. Monell only gave me a soft smile and nodded as I moved the covers, making room for him to climb into bed next to me. 

"You're so warm," he said with a happy sigh of relief. 

"A Targaryen trait I suppose" I muttered back, moving to my side to face him. Monell has been so easy to talk to these past few days. It was effortless with him like it had been with Jon. I found myself playing games in my mind if Monell was Jon. How different he'd look, what he would sound like and what he would say. It was as if at times Monell knew I was playing this game because he would say and do all the things I thought Jon would. Making me fall deeper into this pit of illusions and dreams. 

"Well I like it" he whispered back, smiling at me. I gave a faint smile back and shivered a bit. He may have been warmed by my presence but on the inside, I was still freezing. 

"Do you want to move closer to me? It may help with your shivers" he offered, moving the blankets of furs up for me to move closer if I wanted. But could I? Would this be a betrayal? To Jon? To myself? But I looked into his eyes and saw Jon again, the Jon who didn't think me dead. The Jon back at Winterfell who made love to me for the first time. And I gave in. 

I moved closer to Monell and allowed myself to lay my head on his chest, making sure my hair made a barrier between any of my skin that might have touched his. I may be cold but I could still burn him on accident. I maneuvered the soft covers so my hand that would normally rest on his chest would be shielded by the fabric. And for what felt like the first time in a very long time, I was able to relax. I closed my eyes and listened to his heart as he moved the covers farther up, covering me completely, aside from my head. I felt his lips brush against my forehead and for a split second, I was back in my chambers at Winterfell, with Jon holding me in my sleep. 

Monells arms wrapped around me and held me close as Jon would have. He was starting to win this little game as I wasn't sure if I liked it. 

I woke up the next morning feeling safe and content. My head still on Monell's chest from the night before. I moved slightly and felt Monell's arms move a bit, going lax around me, allowing me to move away if I wanted. Jon would have held me tighter, begging me to come back to bed. Maybe Monell wasn't winning after all. 

"Good morning Princess," Monell said in a deep, raspy morning voice. 

"Good morning Captain" I replied with a small smile, sitting up in the bed. The ringing of a bell drove Monell to sit up as well. 

"Land, we must be near Quarth" Monell whispered to himself, getting out of bed and walking towards the door. We didn't exchange any words aside from that, as he left to ready himself for the day. Almost as soon as he left, Myra entered my chambers with a smile. 

"We've made it Princess, we've made it to Quarth" 

"So it seems" I mumble, getting out of bed myself and preparing to dress in my normal riding pants and shirt. 

"No, you need to dress the part of a princess, you need to act like you are these people's princess or they will kill you and take your dragon," Myra told me sternly. 

"It's not like I have any dresses to choose from. The only one I had we burned" I remind her, moving towards Winter and Visenya who still slept by the fire. 

"Give me an hour after we dock and I'll come back with a dress befitting a Queen," she tells me strategically. 

"I don't need a dress Myra, Queens or Princesses don't need dressed to rule, they rule with their minds," I tell her, getting up and continuing to dress. 

"As you say Princess" she mumbles, exiting the room. Once I'm dressed, Visenya wakes up and starts her little screech, meaning she wanted to be on my shoulder. I smiled and picked her up, letting her crawl up my arm and onto my right shoulder, opposite of the braid that laid on my left. However some days she would hide in my hair, her silver and white scales made her blend into my hair easily. Making people check for blue eyes in my hair. Winter rose to her feet as well as we walked out of the room and up to the deck of the ship. The crew giving me bows or nods if their hands were busy. 

"Princess" Monell greeted me with a humble bow as I approached. I gave a polite nod back as courtesies deemed fit. 

"Any word of my sister Captain?" I asked as Visenya sat perched on my shoulder, while Winter moved closer to Monell. 

"Actually it is said that the Mother of Dragons arrived in Quarth but two days ago" he answered. 

"She has dragons as well?" I ask curiously. 

"Indeed, three I've heard. They look much like your little dragon from what the people say" he replies. 

"Any idea where she might be?" I continue. 

"Well it is rumored that she will be visiting the docks today, in search of a vessel to take her back to Westeros" he explained. I nodded.

"So we wait?" 

"So we wait"

It was midday by the time the crowds picked up. By then I had already practiced at swords and changed into a silky pale blue dress, as Myra kept insisting. Now the crowds were starting to pick up and eager crew members talked of the Khalessis' visit, how she was coming closer. 

I could feel myself start to panic. What if she didn't believe me? Or accept me as her sister? 

"She's coming!" one of Monell's crew shouted. I walked out from below deck and towards the ramp of the ship where anyone wishing to board entered. I had to seem regal, like a true princess. 

I stood at the entrance, with Visenya on my right shoulder and Winter standing by my left leg. And then I saw her. Her hair a more golden white where mine was silver. Her eyes a dark grey while mine were purple. She wore almost the exact same silken gown I was wearing. She was about to board out ship when an older looking man whispered in her ear. She looked up at me, shocked, to say the least. 

"Who are you?" she shouted up to me. 

"Rhaella Targaryen, second of my name and you?" I asked back. 

"Daenery's Targaryen, your sister," she told me with a joyous smile. While Visenya screeched on my shoulder. 

"It appears you aren't the only mother of dragons" I replied back with a smile. 

"It appears I am not. We must speak, I have to know my sister" she tells me with a smile. 

"Of course, please we'll speak in the cabin," I tell her, moving so she could board if she wished. She moved to walk forward but the older knight blocked her path, whispering in her ear. She whispered something back and he and the other Dothraki followed her on board. 

Once she was within arm's length of me, she pulled me into a hug. 

"I feared I would never see you again" she whispered against me. 

"Wait, you remember me?" I ask in surprise. 

"Bits and pieces, you were only a babe, but I'd remember those eyes anywhere, that vibrant purple. I was but a toddler when we were forced to leave but I do remember you, and what our brother would tell me about you" she explains. 

"Our brother, is he here as well?" I ask hopefully. She gives me a regretful smile and links her arm with mine as I lead her down below the ship. 

"Come, we have much to discuss"


	17. Chapter 17

The gaping hole that was in my chest where my heart should be, grew a little smaller by being with my sister. She was just such a comforting presence. Young and sweet and so full of life, still ignorant of what the world truly was life. She told me about her life, how her and our late brother traveled from place to place out running assassins, her marriage, being the Khaleesi, ruling her own Khalasar, her stillborn child, her entire life story she told me. Even though I knew and understood the troubles she endured, and despite her being older than me, she had no idea what the real world was like. 

Yes, I had lost a child as she did. But she didn't truly understand love or survival. I don't doubt she was in love with Khal Drogo, or that her life was hard, but I knew what it was like to have to lie, I was playing the game and I was playing it well. My heart was hardened from my life experiences, while hers was still full of life. I had nothing, while she had so much in store for her. She didn't know what life truly was, and I prayed she never found out. 

The world was hard and cruel and killed anything that loved, anything that was weak or full of feeling. 

I only told her a few things here and there. She mainly wanted to know what the land was like, what her homeland was like, so I told her. But I didn't mention his name or our child, or Robb, or any of the times that shaped me. I told her only the bare necessities. How I came to be here, and how I got my dragon Visenya. 

Years had passed from when we first met, almost four years. Over time I told her more about myself after she confronted me about it that is. 

"Let me be your sister in more than just name and blood," she told me. So that night I poured out my heart to her, and it was the first time I truly felt that I had a sister. After that, we fought together side by side. She taught me Dothraki and Valyrian, and I taught her how to handle a blade. 

She gained titles like the unburnt, breaker of chains, mother of dragons. While I got the queen of dragons, the unburnt, holder of the dragon's flame. As time passed, my flares in temper that made any nearby fires roar, grew into more. I could make flames appear in my palms, and make my skin burning hot to the touch. The dragon's flame was in my skin, not just my heart. This caused me to take a disliking to shoes, as they would burn and make me feel as if the heat was trapped inside me. But this newfound ability made the dragons listen to me, obey my commands, treat me as their queen. Hence the title. 

Currently, we were ruling in Meereen, along with Missandei, the unsullied, Myra, Monell and Tyrion Lannister. Seeing him again brought me back to that time in Winterfell, to Jon and Robb and the girls. But when he told me what had happened after the time of my escape, my heart broke all over again. Robb and Cat were dead. Ayra was missing along with Bran and Rickon. And Sansa, my dear Sansa who I spoke cruel words to when last we spoke...was married to Tyrion, abused by Joffery and now was a fugitive of the crown. 

Tyrion had very little to tell me of Jon. Only that when last they spoke he asked Tyrion to look out for me, make sure I was safe. No doubt he had heard of my alleged death. Would he have been reckless like I was? No, Jon was never reckless. 

"Princess?" 

I turned around from overlooking the city from my balcony, seeing Monell in the doorway. He smiled at me and walked over as I turned to look back out over the city. He snaked his arms around my waist from behind and placed a delicate kiss on my shoulder. 

"It's almost time for the fights" he mumbles, moving to place a kiss on my neck. We had become lovers, something I couldn't help but regret from time to time. I was still playing the game in my head, about what Jon would do and say, and Monell would win for the most part. So whenever we slept together, it was Jon's face, not his that I saw. 

"We can't do this for much longer, I am betrothed after all" I mumbled, leaning into his touch. 

"You should have let your sister make the alliance as she intended" he whispers against my skin. 

"She is a Queen, I am the Princess, it's my duty to help her with alliances. This way she can take the throne without a man ruling beside her" I explain, turning around in his arms to face him. 

"So does that make me your mistress then?" he asks with a smile. I smile back and cup his right left cheek with my palm, being sure I wouldn't burn him. 

"Once I am married we cannot keep seeing each other, you know this" 

"I know it, I just don't accept it," he says, leaning down to kiss my lips. I allow him one quick peck before I break out of his grasp and move toward the doorway. My scarlet silk skirts billowing behind me as I move. 

"Come, we mustn't keep my future husband waiting" I call to him in a teasing manner. I hear him jogging towards me as I make my way down the hall, towards my sister's room. I knock and then simply walk into her room. When I walk in I see her seated at the vanity, with Winter laying by her feet. Winter has grown very fond of Dany over the years. 

"Why you seem awfully happy this morning," Dany says with a smile, turning in her seat to look at me. 

"And why shouldn't I be happy? I am a princess, Queen of Dragons, and I am betrothed to a man who will add great value to your reign" I reply, taking a seat on the side of her bed. I watch her open a drawer in her vanity and pull out a broch. 

"I was going to give this to you on your wedding night, but now seems much more appropriate," she says with a smile, walking over to me and taking my hand, putting the broch in my palm. I pick it up between my palms, seeing the three dragon heads of the house Targaryen. 

"Is this yours? The one you've been wearing for years?" I ask, turning it over in my fingers. 

"Well no, it's not. I had a replica made. I thought it would be nice for me to be represented too, along with your wolf necklace and ring that is" she says, pointing to my necklace with a teasing smile. My hand instantly moves to my neck to touch the metal. A gift from Jon, to remind me of home...of a life I could never go back to. Most days it felt like a curse, but other days it was one of the best reminders I could hope for. Sometimes I close my eyes and I can picture Jon putting it around my neck in the stables. But I tried not to think of that too much. 

"Thank you Dany, I love it," I say with a smile, pinning it the right shoulder strap of my red silk dress. I stand up and embrace my sister in a hug, turning for the dog with Winter by my side. 

"You know you don't have to do this right? You don't have to marry that man, not for my sake" she calls, making me turn around to face her. 

"Why wouldn't I? I am your sister Dany, you are my blood, I would die for you as I'm sure you would for me. Marrying a man to secure an alliance for your benefit is the least I can do for you" I tell her with a soft smile. 

"But there is a man that you love who is out there, who loves you. What kind of sister would I be to ask you to leave him?" she continues, following me and Winter out of her chambers. 

"We've spoken about this before, he thinks I'm dead...he's joined the Night's Watch...I can't be anything to him, not anymore. Besides, you and the throne are my priority now" I tell her, as we continue the hall, Monell, Myra, Missandei, and Tyrion joining us along the way to the arena. Greyworm and some of the other unsullied were already at the arena, waiting for us, along with my future husband Hizdahr. 

"Myra?" I asked as we approached the arena entrance. 

"Yes, your Highness?" she asks, moving to my left side. 

"Do you have my blade with you by chance?" 

"Always your Highness" 

"I'd like it if you don't mind," I ask, as we stop outside of the entrance of the arena, waiting for Dany and me to be announced. She undoes the belt for the sheath and hands me my sword, black sister. 

"Do you really think it's wise to meet your future husband in an arena with a sword tied around your waist?" Tyrion asks as I tightened the belt. 

"I am not going to take any chances with the Harpys around" I reply, Winter, snaking herself between me and Tyrion.

"Yes, I understand your concern but we have guards and people to handle that, you are a princess, you must behave as such" he argues as the gates open and we enter behind my sister. 

"I am the warrior princess, I have lead armies and our dragons into battle, and I will rule as such if and when the time comes" I answer as I make my way to my seat next to Hizdahr. He rises to his feet and bows to my sister and I as she moves to her seat in front of us. 

"Princess" he greets, taking my right hand in his and raising it to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss on the top of my hand. I give a smile and nod in return as we take our seats and wait for the fights to begin. Winter takes a seat at my feet while Monell and Myra stand guard behind me.

"What are they waiting for?" I ask, leaning over to whisper in my betrothed's ear. 

"My Queen, you need to clap to signal the start of the fights" he instructs, leaning forward to tell Dany. I could feel the discomfort coming off of her. She never wanted to allow these battles to take place, they were slave fights. But we needed to win over the people so reluctantly she agreed to them. 

Slowly, she raised her hands up and gave one single, deafening clap. The crowd immediately started shouting and cheering as the first round of fighters walked into the arena. They stood before us and gave a low bow before they began to fight. I leaned over to Tyrion and whispered in his ear. 

"5 pieces on the scrawny man with the missing eye"

"Alright, but gambling isn't very princesslike" he whispered back as I leaned back in my seat, reaching down to stroke Winter between the ears. The fights were an interesting thing to watch, to me at least, Dany was trying her best not to wrinkle her nose. Yes, my sister was fierce, but she was not one for this type of killing, of it being so personal. In the end, my choice won and I could hear Tyrion inwardly curse. 

A few more rounds were had, Tyrion and I whispering and discussing the strategies of each man. That is until Jorah Mormont stands before us with a determined look and weapon in hand. I could hear Dany's gasp in surprise and see her grip the armrest of her chair. They say nothing but the tension in the air is evident. 

"Dany, clap your hands, you can't do this here, not now" I whisper leaning forward in my seat. She says nothing but she holds up her hands and claps all the same. We all watch in silence as Jorah begins to fight the others. There are times where it looks like he may be killed or critically injured, but he manages to dodge and deflect until he is the last one standing on the field. The crowd is cheering, but Dany remains silent. Jorah steps forward and kneels in front of us. But before Dany can say anything, Winter begins to growl. Jorah quickly rises to his feet and hurls a spear towards us, towards me specifically. I move out of the way and look behind me, seeing a dead Harpy on the ground behind me. Monell and Myra look at me in shock, I turn to Hizdahr but see his throat has been slit. I quickly rise to my feet as the Unsullied begin to defend us on our way out of the arena. Monell takes hold of my arm while swinging his sword with his right arm. 

We are unable to make it out of the gate and are instead herded to the grounds of the arena. I am roughly shoved forward by Monell and Myra to the inside of the circle made by the Unsullied. I stand between Dany and Missandei and pull out my sword, prepared to face my death with a fight. Winter stands loyally by my legs, growling and snarling her teeth, prepared to leap on anyone that gets too close. The blood dripping down her chin proves it. The hundreds of Harpys surround us, blades drawn and ready to kill. We all stand, ready to face our deaths when roaring is heard. Everyone freezes and looks to the sky. 

Overhead Drogon and Visenya come flying in. Each dragon opens their mouth and unleashes flames on the Harpys, being careful not to injure any of the Unsullied. They both land on opposite sides of the arena and start using their teeth and claws to deal with the Harpys. Dany moves towards Drogon while I stay in the middle with Missandei.

"What are you doing?!" I shout to her over the clashing of swords. 

"Take care of the people!" She calls, as we watch her climb onto Drogon's back. He gets ready to take flight when she shouts a few last words to me. 

"I love you Rhaea! Trust your gut!"

And with those last few words, Dany and Drogon take to the skies and vanish from sight. Visenya easily deals with the other Harpys and once it is clear we are safe from harm, I make my way towards her. Winter stays with Missandei as I move to stand in front of Visenya. Before I even extend my hand fully, Visenya moves her head forward into my touch. She still tried to snuggle against me, despite how large she had gotten. She was as big as Drogon, if not bigger. I gently rubbed my hand against her snout, as she laid her head down next to me, her silver scales glittering in the sun. 

"Such a brave thing you are" I whispered to her in Valyrian. She made a noise in her throat and closed her eyes for a moment. It was just me and her, she was the only thing that mattered, for a moment at least. The moment broke when Monell called for me. 

"Princess! We need to get you back to the palace!" he shouts, moving towards me which makes Visenya growl lowly in her throat. I hold my hand up to him, signaling him to stop. Visenya has never really liked Monell, she's never liked anyone, it seems like she only tolerates Dany. 

"Fly to the gardens, I'll meet you there" I instruct her as I turn to leave. I quickly glance behind me and see her take off to the sky, disappearing from view. But I knew she would obey, she always would. 

I move quickly towards Monell, the ground a bit harsh on my bare feet, but my feet have been toughened by years of not wearing shoes. I keep black sister in my left hand, prepared to fight any lingering Harpys as I'm escorted to the palace with the others. Winter quickly trots over to me and says by my side right side as Monell is on my left. Myra stays in front of me along with Greyworm, while Missandei and Tyrion are behind me. 

We make it back to the palace with no trouble and we immediately meet in the planning room. I move to the head of the table, where Dany normally resides. I rest my hands on the table and look around the room. Everyone was waiting for me to speak, for me to give my commands. 

"What should we do princess?" Tyrion asks as I move my silver white hair over my right shoulder. 

"We continue on, at least for now. She could be back tomorrow or in a week. For now, we wait and if anyone asks we tell them she is conducting trade business" I say, starting to braid my hair. 

"No that is absurd, they could be traveling miles as we speak, we need to go after her" Daario says, slamming his hands on the table. 

"And we will, in a weeks time" I reply calmly.

"Daario is right, we should be going after her" Jorah says. 

"I am your Queen while my sister is away. I know of both of your feelings for her but you listen to me now. And I am commanding you to wait, have I made myself clear?" I ask, my voice turning stern. It was my commander's voice, the voice I led armies with. The room went silent. 

"You heard your Queen, we will wait," Tyrion says, looking at them sternly. 

"As you wish my Queen," Jorah says with a respectful bow. 

"You are all dismissed, Tyrion may I have a word?" I ask as I finish braiding my hair. He crosses his arms behind his back as I take a seat in my sister's chair. 

"I need your help" I admit. 

"With what my Queen?" he asks, walking over towards me. 

"With this, with being Queen. I am not fit to rule. I may not be quite as stubborn as my sister but I have none of her skills. I am the warrior princess, but I cannot handle a city as I would handle a battle, which is where I'd like your help" I explain with a heavy sigh. My sister was always better with people. My first instinct is to draw my blade, not my words. 

"Ah, well in that aspect you are one step ahead of your sister. One of the first things about being a leader is knowing you can't do it alone. I will be happy to help in whatever ways I can" he says with a smile. 

"Thank you, Tyrion, I really appreciate it" I reply with a smile as he bows, moving towards the door. I hear him open the door but I don't hear it close. 

"There is a very sad guard in the hallway, no doubt pouting over you, shall I send him in?" Tyrion calls, peaking his head back into the doorway. I laugh. 

"Yes, send him in" I answer and Monell comes striding into the room. 

"Thank god you are alright" he huffs, making his way towards me. He bends down and immediately places a kiss on my lips. 

"Yes, I'm fine, as you no doubt saw not very long ago in the meeting," I tell him with a smile. He holds out his hands and helps me to my feet, engulfing me into a bone-crushing hug. 

"I should have been paying more attention. That Harpy snuck right past me and almost slit your throat" he mumbles into my neck. 

"But he didn't," I say, pulling away from the hug to look him in the eyes. I cup his cheeks with my hands and he places his hands on top of mine. 

"I am glad you are safe" he whispers, looking deeply into my eyes. I only smile as he stares at me, but his gaze turns into one of passion and his lips attack mine with a firey intent. His hands moved to my waist and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he turned me around and placed me on the table. 

The kiss was intense, it felt like I was being devoured by him. He tilted me back a little and started placing hungry kisses on my neck, his left hand slowly moving up my dress skirts and in between my legs. I closed my eyes and let myself be enwrapped in the passion, all the while wishing it was Jon, the ghost in my head. 

After our time together in the meeting room, I slowly made my way to the gardens, Winter tagging along at my heels. It was getting late, sunset to be exact, but Visenya was waiting for me in the large clearing. She was laying down, with her head on the grass and her eyes roaming about the grounds. She picked her head up when I approached her. 

"Hello, my love," I said with a smile, bringing heat into my hand as I place it upon her snout. She moves into my touch and pushes me with her nose towards his left side. So I moved and sat down by her upper left leg and let her curl herself around me and lay her giant head by my feet. I couldn't pet her whole head anymore, but I did run my hand across her scales by her ear. She closed her eyes and seemed to almost purr at the sensation. I may have been the Queen of Dragons, but I was her mother. 

I stayed with her most of the evening, with Winter laying on my left. When I got up to go to bed Visenya seemed to almost sigh from sadness, as she simply lifted and moved her head for me and Winter to move. I knew she would stay here tonight, she wanted to protect me, especially after seeing the dangers I faced today. 

"Goodnight, Visenya," I told her with a final brush of my hand as Winter and I took off to go back inside the palace. When I entered my chambers, Monell was sitting on my lounger waiting for me. 

"I hoped you would allow me to spend the night with you," he said, rising to his feet. 

"I hoped you would come," I say, moving to stand in front of him, allowing his lips to dance with mine.

Jon led the surviving Wildings back to Castle Black to get them set up with homes and land to live on. After seeing the white walker's army Jon was shaken, to say the least. How could he lead the men of the Nights Watch against something like that? If only she were here. Gods could he ever let her go? He's known of her death for years now...she's been dead for years and yet he could never stop thinking about how things would be different if only she was still alive. He still had her scroll, with her last words on them. He liked to read it sometimes when he was feeling alone and unsure of himself. Which he seemed to be a lot these days. 

So once he got himself settled back into his quarters, he grabbed the scroll from his inner breast pocket. He took a seat on his bed as he unraveled it with a heavy sigh. The ends of the paper were worn from being handled so much, from being folded and refolded, and the ends being fiddled with as he read. He didn't need to read it anymore to know what the scroll said, he had it memorized by now, and it wasn't her handwriting anyways, but he liked the idea that she might have held this and read it over for approval beforehand. 

Jon, oh my love, how I wish I could tell you all these things in person. How I prayed we might see each other once more before my passing. But sadly this is the best we can do. I have gone into labor, but I fear I won't survive the pain. So, if this is the last thing I ever say to you...I pray you would heed these words. Survive, survive knowing I will be with you every step of the way, we both will. Know that I love you, and I will continue to love you as our love is too great for even death to break. I believe you are capable of many things Jon, so trust yourself and your instincts, just as I have trusted them. Until we meet again, in this life or the next.

~R

"Until we meet again" he whispered to the paper. He thought they would meet during the battle of Hardhome. He was fully prepared to die that day, even if it was a selfish thought, but he so badly wanted to see her again, and not just in dreams that were few and far between. But those dreams were of a younger version of her, not the woman she would be now. 

"Lord Commander?" Olly asked, slowly opening his door. 

"Is there something you need Olly?" Jon asked his young steward, quickly tucking his note away into his breast pocket. 

"Only to ask if you'd like something to eat?" the boy replies with a bit of nervousness in his voice. 

"Thank you, Olly, I would appreciate a bit of ale right about now," he tells the boy with a smile. Olly gives him a respectful nod and exits his room, closing the door behind him. It wasn't until he looked down that he noticed he was fiddling with the ring on his finger. Even after hearing of her death, he couldn't bear to take it off or move it to a different finger. Sam was the only one that knew of the rings real significance anyhow, and he wasn't here. Sam was constantly on him about trying to leave the past in the past, as it had been 4 years since her passing. But Jon wasn't ready for that, which Sam learned the hard way when he tried to steal Jon's ring away in the dead of night. Jon almost cut off his hand during that little incident. 

No, Jon would forget if that was what the Gods wanted. Until then, Jon would pine away at her scroll and the ring she gifted him. A ring that marked him as hers, and would until the end of time.

This wasn't like my normal dreams. Even my physic dreams with younger Jon were not like this. I was in the north, that I was certain of. I took me a while to take in my surroundings. It was dark, with torches sparsely lighting up what looked like to be a small village of sorts. I was on a raised platform outside of a few buildings, and what appeared to be a sleeping quarter. I made a move to walk down when a door opened in front of him.

"Is he alright, Olly? How did he look?" the man asked hastily, making his way across the platform and down the stairs. I felt my heart leap in my chest at the sight of him. Could it really be him? This wasn't dream Jon, who was younger than he should have been now. No, this was my Jon. He looked so much older than that boy I left behind. His features were hardened over the years, which didn't surprise me. I'm sure I'd look the same to him as well. 

"Jon?" I asked, moving to follow him, but he didn't hear me. He only continued to follow the boy. 

"Jon! Jon, it's me! I'm alive! Turn around!" I shouted as I chased him down the steps. But on the last, he faltered.

"Jon?" I asked, stepping forward to touch his cheek as he turned towards me. I tried to touch him but my hand just passed right through his face. I was a ghost to him. But he did seem to shiver at my touch. He looked a moment longer before the boy called him from my trance. He turned around and continued on, to what looked like the stables. I quickly followed, desperate to try and make him see me. 

It was when he stopped in his tracks, and paused for a long moment, staring at something on the ground that I dared to turn my eyes away from him. There on the ground was a marker on the ground with the word 'Traitor' written in what looked like blood. I turn back around to look at Jon and saw a small crowd of men start to surround him. 

"Jon run! You have to run!" I shouted, but he couldn't hear me, no one could. I watched in slow motion as he turned around and faced the men. And was then stabbed by them, one by one. Each one chanting, "For the Watch" as the withdrew their blade. 

I screamed, sobs in my throat as I watched him die. I collapsed to the ground as he did. Hovering my hand above his cheek, where there were tears. 

"No...no no no" I sobbed, the life slowly leaving his body. A light started to surround me, pulling me away from him. But, before it did he turned towards me and gave me a half smile. 

"I'll be with you soon" he whispered, reaching out to cup my cheek. I tried to lean into his touch but his hand only went through me. 

"You can't die, Jon, you can't...how can I live without you in this world?" I cried. But he gave me a confused look before his hand dropped, his blood soaking into the snow...his life, his soul leaving his body. He was gone. 

"NO!" 

"NOOO!" I screamed, trying to move, but I was trapped. 

"Rhaella!" 

It was then I sat up, drenched in sweat with tears staining my cheeks. I held the sheet up to my bare chest and grasped my necklace until my knuckles turned white. 

"Shh, it was only a dream, it was only a dream" Monell chants, sitting up beside me and trying to pull me to his naked chest, but I refused him, pushing him away. 

"No! It wasn't! It was more than that" I panted, trying my best to make sense of what I just witnessed. I quickly stood up, taking the sheet with me and wrapping it around my bare body. The fire in my room flickered wildly from my nervous pacing. 

"It wasn't a dream...but it was...it wasn't of the past...it must be a vision! Yes! I warning of what is to come!" I mumbled to myself. 

"What was a vision? Just come back to bed and let's talk about this" Monell calls from his place in the bed. He was giving me a confused look. He had no idea what I was rambling on about. I've never told anyone about my dreams, not even Danearys. 

"The gods are giving me a chance to change things! Don't you see?! Monell, I have to go fix this! I can save him!" I said, looking at him with a crazed smile. I walk over to my trunk and quickly pull on my riding clothes, they were custom made for riding Visenya. I pulled on the fingerless leather gloves and strapped my sword around my waist. I clipped on my broch and grabbed the white fur-lined coat from the bottom of my chest. The one Sansa had made for me all those years ago.

"What are you doing?" Monell asks, pulling on his pants and coming to walk over to me. 

"I am leaving" I answer simply, adjusting my cloak on my shoulders, quickly exiting my room. 

"Wait what?!" he shouts, chasing after me. I exit my room and see Winter sitting by the door. I whistle to her and she starts following me as I quickly jog to Tyrion's room. I bang on his door twice before I enter, seeing him slowly sit up in his bed. 

"What's going on? Is it the Harpys?" he asks, wiping the sleep from his eyes. 

"No, it isn't the Harpys. But I have to go, now. I am leaving you in charge of the people. I don't know when I will return but tell my sister I'm sorry and that I had to" I say quickly, my words coming out choppy. Before I can give him the chance to ask any questions I am speed walking out of his room and towards the palace gardens. Where Visenya was waiting. 

"Wait, Princess, think about what you're doing!" Monell shouts as he walks next to me. 

"I am, and I am leaving, you cannot change my mind," I tell him as we exit the palace and I make my way over to Visenya. She lifts her head as I move towards her. I lift Winter up to sit between her scales and begin to climb up myself. 

"Then let me come with you!" Monell calls, grabbing my wrist to hold me back. I merely shake off his grip. 

"No, this is something I have to do alone," I say, moving to climb onto Visenya but he grabs me again, holding me back. 

"Why? You're being crazy, you were shouting in your sleep and now you're saying it was a vision? This doesn't make any sense" 

"I don't need you to make sense of this. But it makes sense to me and that is all that matters" I say, shaking him off again and quickly climbing onto the back of Visenya.

"Where will you go?" Monell asks as Visenya rises to her feet. 

"To Westeros! To Castle Black. I will send word when I arrive and when I am safe!" I shout down to him and Visenya gets ready to take off. 

"Fly!" I shout, causing her to take off into the sky. The wind whipping my hair back as I keep a hand on Winter, making sure she wouldn't fall. I did my best to direct Visenya towards Westeros, towards the wall, but she was the one in control, not I. 

As we flew through the night when the stars were out and all aglow, I whispered a quiet prayer to the old gods.

"Let me not be too late"


	18. Chapter 18

Sansa Stark once betrothed to a monster, married off to another, almost murdered by her own aunt, married off to another monster and now fleeing for her life from the one place she thought she could call home. She would never shake Myranda's words from her head. 

"He only needs you for heirs, that doesn't mean he needs you all in one piece"

What a wicked thing to say. But Sansa was learning that most of the world was made up of wicked things. Her brothers were dead, the girl she once called sister died during childbirth, her mother, her father. Sansa wasn't even sure if Arya was alive or not, but her only hope now was Jon. Jon who she used to call wicked names, who she only called half brother, but now he was the only brother she had. Despite what Theon told her about Bran and Rickon, despite the fact that he saved her from Ramsey, Theon would only be that, Theon. 

"Come on, we need to keep moving, we'll have the hounds on us no doubt" Theon called to her, walking several paces faster than her. It felt like they had been walking for hours, and there was no way to keep track of the time. The sun was hidden by the trees, with the only light, scattered through the woods by the leaves. 

They walked silently through the woods, and Sansa was doing her best to not leave a trail but the snow made it impossible. Sansa was about to ask to stop for a moment when a low howl echoed through the trees. They both stopped, and look at one another. 

"We need to go, now!" Theon whisper-shouted to Sansa, snatching her hand and pulling her to a run. With her free hand, Sansa picked up her dress haphazardly, almost tripping on the skirts as she did so. 

She tripped a bit when Theon jerked her to a sudden stop. She blinked a bit, not wanting to accept the obstacle that laid in front of them. A river, with chunks of ice flowing down. Theon let go of her hand and slowly started to walk into the river. 

"We can't cross that, are you mad?!" Sansa snapped, quickly glancing behind them. The hounds weren't in sight, but the howls were growing louder. 

"If we don't we'll die. And it won't be quick. I have seen those hounds rip people apart and trust me, drowning would be a mercy compared to that" he says quickly, holding out his hand for Sansa to take. Sansa took his hand and they crossed the river together. The cold from the river shot searing pain through Sansa's body. The instant her legs were fully submerged, Sansa had to hold back the scream from her lips and force her numb legs to continue on. She kept telling herself that the hounds would be worse than this pain. But she wasn't so sure. 

They made it across in one piece, but Sansa wasn't sure if she was happy about that. Life would be so much easier if the river had simply swept them away. But the way her life was going Ramsey would save them before the numbing effects of the water could reach their lungs. After making it across Sansa hoped that they would be able to sit for a moment, but the battle cry of the hounds said differently. 

Theon took her hand once more and they continued to run, but she was starting to slow down. Her legs were beginning to cramp, the stitch in her side turned into a stab, the air wasn't getting into her lungs and when it did it only stabbed her. Any longer and she would faint for sure. She didn't even have the energy to conjure tears to her eyes when she pulled Theon to a stop. 

"I can't run anymore" Sansa huffed, too tired to pant as much as she needed to. Theon took a good look at the state she was in and began frantically looking around for a place to hide. Wordlessly he took her hand and dragged her further still. Until they found a few trees that were angled upwards from the ground. It made for good cover, but not enough to completely cover the both of them. 

They squeezed in, all the same, listening as the sounds from the hounds got louder and louder. Theon took a quick glance at Sansa. Cold, exhausted, terrified. He wouldn't allow her to be taken back there, not if he could do something about it. For once in his life, he wouldn't be a coward. 

"Stay here, and a few seconds after I go you run, you go to catle black to Jon, do you understand?" he asked her hastily. 

"What?" 

"Do you understand!" he snapped at her in a whisper. 

"Yes," she answered. He gave a single nod before he got up and ran into the woods, back across the river and towards the sound of the howls. 

Sansa was in shock. The boy who had been like a brother to her, who was a coward and had convinced himself that he was reek, was risking his life to save hers. She wouldn't let that sacrifice be in vain. But before she could move, the hounds and some of Ramsey's men were surrounding her. She had been caught, she would be taken back to Ramsey to be tortured. 

She was led over to Theon who was waiting with Ramsey and a few armored men. But before they could be taken, Brienne and another man came out of the woods with their swords in hand. It was a blur of clashing and grunts, a few men fell down dead. Ramsey fled with the survivors back to Winterfell, leaving Sansa and Theon with the lady knight and the man. But no matter what happened next, Sansa was going to Castle Black, with or without the others. 

Jon was in his chambers, specifically his work chambers, at his desk pouring over scrolls and maps. It was a big part of being Lord Commander that no one really spoke about, papers. But his mind kept wandering. The matters were related, but they were unfocused thoughts mainly about the Night King and his army. How could Jon lead less than 100 men to fight something like that? How could he get more men to follow him to face this threat? 

But if his men couldn't understand his reasoning for bringing the Wildings south of the wall, then they would never follow him into battle. How did Mormont do this for so long? How did he get men to follow him and obey his commands? Jon didn't mind the questioning of his commands, as he respects those that give reasons instead of blind orders. Which is one of the reasons he thought Olly would make a good leader someday, he questioned things. He had values and a good head about him. 

Jon was lost in thought when a knock came from the door. It took the person two rounds of knocking to fully grasp Jon's attention. 

"Yes?" he called, putting down the scroll he had been trying to comprehend for the past half hour. It was late and the candles were nearly burnt out from use. 

Olly opened the door causing Jon to smile. It was good to see a kind face at the end of the day. Without Sam around Jon was fighting his battles alone. 

"Lord Commander, there's a man down at the stables, he says he's your uncle," Olly said, seeming to trip over his words a little but Jon paid him no mind. Could it really be uncle Benjin after all these years? 

Jon lept to his feet, not even bothering to pull on his cloak and threw open the door as he followed Olly out to the platform. 

"Is he alright, Olly? How did he look?" Jon pressed as they made their way across the platform and down the steps towards the stables. But on the last step, Jon felt something. Something warm had touched his cheek...but it was impossible. There was no warmth here in the far North, not even a warm breeze. He shivered a bit at the feeling and turned to look behind him. At first glance he could have sworn he'd seen a body of light behind him but at the same instant, it was gone. 

Jon didn't believe in ghosts, at least not in the traditional sense. But this, whatever it was, was a comfort to Jon. 

"Are you coming, Commander?" Olly asked, breaking Jon from his trance. He turned back around and continued to follow Olly off the platform step and around the corner to the stables. He stepped forward but stopped in his tracks as he saw what was in front of him. He looked at it for a long time, reading the word over and over again in a blood red.

'Traitor'

In some way, Jon knew what would happen if he turned around, but there was some hope in him that they wouldn't. But Jon had to face his fate. He was still in shock, not sure if he was processing the situation correctly. So Jon turned around, but the instant he did he was stabbed in the lower right abdomen. Jon only grunted, his hands moving to his side as he fell to his knees. His ears began to ring, but the ringing almost sounded to Jon like a scream. He was stabbed more times, in his stomach and chest, each man saying 'For the Watch' with each movement. Until Olly stepped forward with a small dagger in hand. 

"Olly" Jon coughed, blood leaving his lips. Olly only looked at him with anger in his eyes, but Jon could have sworn that his eyes were watery. Olly stepped forward and plunged his dagger into Jon's heart, chanting 'For the Watch' as he did so. 

Jon fell backward, the blood beginning to pool under his back. He was about to close his eyelids when a faint light caught his eye. He tilted his head to the right ever so slightly, as it pained him to do so, but there she was. There was his Emylea...in his flowing red dress with her silvery white hair and gorgeous purple eyes. She looked heartbroken and was kneeling beside him. He could feel her warmth, and the light he saw was coming from behind her. 

He smiled at her, but it was only a half smile as it was all he could manage. He could feel his life slipping away and in some ways, he was glad for it. It meant he wouldn't have to wait much longer to see her, to hold her again. 

Shakily he raised up his right hand to cup her cheek. The closer he got to her the warmer he felt, it was relieving to the cold he's endured for the majority of his life. 

"I'll be with you soon" he whispered. He saw her try to lean into his touch, but she only went through his hand which seemed to upset her more. 

"You can't die, Jon, you can't...how can I live without you in this world?" she cried, but it only confused Jon. She was dead, why wouldn't she be happy he was coming to join her and their daughter? Where was she? 

But he dropped his hand as the life drained out of his body, his last and only thought to be of her.

They arrived in the North, just outside of Castle Black, at least according to the map she had tucked into her shirt while putting on her leathers. She didn't have time to formulate a plan. She had Winter and her blade, the plan would come after. 

"Stay close by," I told her as I helped Winter down and got down myself. She only gave a low noise in her throat in response. 

I pulled on my white fur cloak and pulled up the hood and began walking towards the gates. I whistled and Winter instantly started to follow me. The snow felt strange on my bare feet, the lightly falling snow melted on my cheeks and the air turned warm before it reached my lungs. Oh, how surprised Jon will be, to see how the cold does nothing to me now. I pulled my cloak tightly around me, concealing my sword and the dagger strapped to my ankle. 

As I approached the gates they instantly opened. When we entered I saw the platform and the stables, this was where my vision took place. 

"Another Wildling?" A man questioned as they all started to walk towards me. 

"Who is your Lord Commander?!" I shouted from under my hood. 

"I am" 

I turned to my right and saw an older man, with fading hair and a hard expression...a familiar expression. Time seemed to stop as I processed what he said. He was Lord Commander? He...I was too late. I felt my heart drop at the realization and that's when I realized why he seemed so familiar to me. He was there, during my vision, he was the first man to draw his blade. 

Immediately I drew my blade with my right hand and held the tip to his throat, all before the other boys could even bring their hands to their hilts. My hood fell back and my eyes shot daggers at the man. I could hear gasps as my hair was revealed but my only concentration was on the man before me with his head tilted back as my blade touch his throat further, drawing a bit of blood. 

"Where is the Lord Commander Jon Snow?" I asked, heat starting to radiate off my body. 

"The bastard ya mean?" he asks with a bit of a smirk on his face. I quickly turned so my entire body was facing him and moved closer so my left hand grasped his shirt.

"Call him that again and you'll be choking on your blood," I told him through gritted teeth. He hissed in pain as my knuckles brushed against his chest, I was burning him. I moved my fingers away from his skin. He looked at me with wide eyes, there was fear in him. 

"My lady!" A man called from the top of the platform, where I had stood in my vision. I turned my head to the left to look at him. I had not seen him before. He was an older man and wasn't wearing the colors of the watch. 

"He is in here my lady, and if you'll kindly let Ser Allister go I'll be glad to show you to him," he told me with a sincerity in his voice. I paused. Could I trust this man? Was he luring somewhere so I could meet the same fate as Jon surely had? The idea made my heart lurch in my chest, and my eyes start to water. I quickly blinked them away and roughly pushed the man in my grasp aside. 

I made my way towards the platform and up the steps. Slowly I approached the man who had called out to me. He gave me a sympathetic look and I knew I was too late. 

"Show him to me" I whispered, Winter, nudging against my legs. The man gave me a solemn nod and opened the door for me. I walked into what looked like a workroom. In the middle was a desk full of scrolls and quills and on the chair was a black feather cape. I was led into another room where a few men were standing around, with Ghost. Winter instantly ran and jumped on him. They were circling and licking one another and getting as close to one another as they could. 

The men moved away from the body on the table as I entered. I stepped closer and got a better look. I felt a gasp leave my throat and my right hand began to shake. 

"Let's give her some privacy shall we?" the man from the platform suggests. They quickly file out into the next room, leaving me and the wolves and Jon. I stepped to the edge of the table, my hand shook as I reached out to touch his cheek. He was so pale, his skin was like ice. 

"No" I cried, feeling the sobs creeping up the back of my throat. I cupped his cheek with my hand, waiting for his eyes to open. Waiting for him to look at me. 

"Jon?" I whispered, praying to the old gods he could hear me. Praying he wasn't dead. But he didn't wake. He wouldn't wake. 

"You can't leave me...not when I've just come back. You are the only man I will ever love" I sob, the tears starting to roll down my cheeks and off my chin. I ran my thumb back and forth over his cheek, hoping I could rouse him from his slumber, but his eyes stayed close, and his skin remained cold. 

He was laying there with only a cloth to cover his lower region. I ran my left hand down his chest, looking at the wounds on his chest. I ran my hand gently over the one on his heart. 

"They did this, they took the life from your eyes and the soul from your body. They killed half of me and in return, I'll kill them. Every last man will burn for what they've done to you. I swear I will get you justice." I told him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it in mine. My tears started to evaporate from my cheeks at the rage I felt. The fire roared inside me and it would not be tamed. 

I grabbed an extra chair that laid in the corner of the room and sat by his side, holding his hand and crying. I would get revenge for him but not right now. Not when my heart was freshly torn in two. I had failed him. If only I had gotten here sooner. If only I fought Myra and came here instead when I was younger. If we had never left Winterfell. All would be different. I sat there for a long time, holding his hand and crying. 

There was a knock on the door but I said nothing. I heard the man creak open the door and walk towards me. 

"I am Ser Davos Seaworthy, my lady, I knew the Lord Commander well" 

"Jon" I whispered. 

"What?" 

"Jon, his name is Jon. He hates titles, almost as much as I do" I explain with a teary-eyed smile. 

"Aye, he did. He told me to call him Jon as well" the man said, moving to stand beside me on my left, his hands crossed behind his back. 

"He had these on him when he died. I think he would want you to have them" he says, holding his hand out to me to reveal a scroll of paper and a ring. Not just any ring, but the one I gave him all those years ago. 

"Thank you Ser Davos" I mumbled, taking them out of his hand. I opened the scroll and quickly skimmed it over. It was one of the forgeries, from my 'deathbed'. Did he keep it all these years? I rolled the scroll back up and moved to look at the ring. It was well worn, the edges of the ring said that well enough. I slipped it onto my left pointer finger as it was a bit big for my ring finger. 

"If you don't mind me asking my lady, who are you? I don't think I've ever heard Jon mention you, and none of the lads out there have either" Davos asked with a bit of curiousness in his voice. 

"Are you saying you haven't read this scroll Ser Davos?" I ask. He stays quiet. 

"Then you should know who I am..." I mumble. 

"He was your lover then?" Davos asked hesitantly. I gave a small chuckle at his words. 

"Lover? Is that the word? No, it was different than that. Were we in love? Yes, but I wouldn't call us lovers"

"That scroll says...says you died in childbirth...and it implies it was while giving birth to his child...is that true?" 

"Yes. But I did not die while giving birth to our daughter, it was all a rouse so I could escape King's Landing. But sadly, she didn't survive the birth, at least not in the traditional sense"

Davos went silent and the door creaked open once more. 

"May I have a word?" a woman asked, but I couldn't bother to turn around. 

"If you must" I answered as Davos began to walk away and she walked closer in his place. 

"My Queen," she said, approaching me with a respectful nod. 

"I'm not that Queen, I think you are referring to my sister" I replied with a humorless laugh. 

"No, it is you that is the true Queen. I can feel your heat, the Lord of Light has blessed you, I can feel it" she tells me with hope-filled eyes. She sounded like the other red priestess, who approached me in private after speaking with my sister. 

"I doubt that. Those who are blessed do not lose ones they love without saying goodbye" I answer. 

"I might be able to bring him back" she whispers. My heart skipped at the very notion of the idea. But I knew better by now. 

"Do what you wish" I mumbled, beginning to fiddle with my ring. 

"I need some of your hair and blood to do so" 

I say nothing, only offering up the palm of my left hand to her. 

"Grab a vial if you must, a knife is around my ankle" I reply, continuing to stare at Jon. I see her grab a vial out of her bosom out of the corner of my eye. I don't even flinch as she cuts into my palm, or takes a lock of my hair. She scurries out of the room and leaves me be as I say my final goodbyes. 

I couldn't stay much longer. I had to let him go. I rose to my feet and unclipped my necklace from the back of my neck. I gently clipped it around his neck, moving some hairs out of his face and running my fingers over his cheek. I leaned down and placed a final kiss on his lips. 

"We'll meet again, but for now, take care of Hope. I love you" I whisper as I stand back up straight and proceed to leave the room, laying the scroll on his bed as I did so. Winter stood up to follow me but I raised up my hand. 

"Stay girl...stay with Ghost," I told her and I proceeded to exit, leaving my heart in the room behind me. I walked into the room where the other men were. I stood still for a moment, looking around the room. 

"I don't know who you all are, or what your relationship to Jon is, but thank you. Thank you for not leaving him alone" I told them with sincerity. They only nodded. I started to walk past them and to the door.

"He really loved you" one of the men mumbles from the back. I turn to look at him, slightly confused. 

"How would you know?" I ask. 

"Well, we read the note my lady and it all made sense. Four years he received a raven scroll, that one specifically, and he went off into the forest and nearly cut down a tree in rage. We could hear him whispering a name some nights and he'd wake up with dark circles after doing so. And that ring you wear on your ring finger, its a match to his. He would spend time fiddling it and staring at it a lot and now we all know why. He was thinking of you" the man tells me with a heavy sigh.

I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes and I do my best to hold them back. 

"I really loved him too" was all I could say in reply. I left the room and when the door shut behind me it was as if I was closing the door to any potential happiness in my life. Darkness rolled over me and left a pain in my chest, making it hard to breathe or think clearly. All that was left was anger and pain. I walked back into the center courtyard to see the men going about their day to day. But they stopped as I turned around in a circle. 

"Ser Allister!" I shouted, looking around for him. 

"Yes?" he asked with a bored tone. 

"You'll hang for what you've done" I shout back as I turn to look at him. 

"Which is what my lady?"

"You raised your blade first against your Lord Commander, and for that, you'll pay with your life" I hiss, stepping forward so I was in his face, so he could see the rage in my eyes, the rage he started. He seemed a bit taken back by my statement. 

"You can't prove anything"

"Jon's body says otherwise"

"Watch your mouth girl, or I'll have to teach you a lesson" he threatens, clenching his jaw. I step back, the time wasn't right. 

"I know who raised the blade to Jon Snow!" I shout, "And you will die for what you've done! I'll hunt you down one by one if I must, but your blood will spill in payment to his blood!" 

With that, I marched back out the gate and to Visenya. I laid my head against her scales and start to sob all over again. I failed him, I had failed him all over again. I would never see my Jon again. Would his younger self continue to haunt my dreams? Would I be forced to look at him, and be unable to change to fate? 

After a few minutes, or hours, I could no longer tell, I felt my heart start to harden. These people had killed the only man I would ever love, others killed the man who was like a brother to me, Robb, the boys, and who knows what happened to the girls but I can imagine. But I had to right these wrongs, I had to get justice for Jon, for Robb and all of the others that were my family. But first I had to pay my respects. 

I climbed onto the back of Visenya and we took off, for Winterfell. 

The fly over there was a blur and we arrived in what felt like seconds later. I climbed off of Visenya and moved to stand in front of her. 

"Go back to Dany...Go keep her safe" I whispered, tears in my eyes. I hated to part from her, but I had to do this on my own. My sister and her dragons are her only advantage, I couldn't risk anyone harming her. Or finding a way to capture her. She tried to nuzzle into me, but she was just too big. I hugged her snout and turned to leave, my heart breaking a little more as I did. 

I pulled up my hood and an hour later I was at the gates of Winterfell. Like Castle Black, I was immediately allowed inside. I made my way towards the crypts, towards Robb. But I was stopped before I made it too far. 

"And where are you going?" a man asks, causing me to turn around. It was then I noticed the banners of the flayed man, the Boltons. I had walked into the fortress of Robb's betrayers.

"To the crypts sir, I wish to pay my respects" I answer, looking at the ground, trying to seem meek in nature. 

"Allow me to escort you, a woman such as yourself shouldn't be walking around alone" he stated stepping forward and offering up his arm. I took it slowly and began to walk with him towards the crypts. 

"What is your name sir?" I asked as we approached the entrance. 

"Ramsey Bolton my lady, Lord of Winterfell"


	19. Chapter 19

Jon's lungs were on fire. His eyes shot open with a gasp. His limbs felt heavy and it took him a moment to get himself functioning properly. Slowly he sat up, his back sore from laying on the table...table? Wasn't Jon in his bed? Wasn't it all just a bad dream? He looked down and saw the scars on his body, along with a necklace. The dire wolf pendant he had made all those years ago. But how did it end up here? 

Jon picked it up and looked it over, he moved to fiddle with his ring as he thought about all of this, but it was gone. No doubt one of his men took it from him after they...Jon cringed at the memory. It was then that the door opened, to revel Ser Davos and Melisandre, the red woman. 

"You're alive," Davos says with wide eyes, him and the woman walking over to Jon. 

"It seems so" Jon replies, glancing at the necklace and scars. 

"Your woman will be pleased to hear it," Davos tells him with a smile. Jon only looks at him with confusion in his eyes. 

"My woman?" he asked, not quite sure what Davos could mean. 

"The silver-haired woman with purple eyes" Davos explains. It takes Jon a second to realize who he's referring to. 

"That's impossible, she's dead," Jon says quickly, brushing off the idea before it can even fully form. 

"No, she's quite alive, unless we all saw the same ghost. Which she was a bit of a ghost after having seen you. You would have thought she died with you" Davos rambles, reflecting on his encounter with the strange woman. 

"She was here? For how long? When did she leave?" Jon asks, immediately looking around the room for things he might need on his journey. 

"Days ago, and no one is really sure how she got here or how she left. They saw no horse and she wasn't wearing shoes. Her only traveling companion was the dire wolf" Davos says gesturing towards the other white wolf in the room. 

Jon looked to the other side of the room and sure enough, saw Winter and Ghost sitting on the floor intertwined with one another. 

"She took your ring with her, the one that matches her own, when she left" Davos continues as Jon grips the pendant around his neck. 

"It was her who brought you back," Melisandre says, stepping towards Jon with amazement in her eyes. 

"What do you mean she brought me back?" 

"I used her hair and yours, along with your blood mixed together. Your bond is undeniable and I believe the Lord of Light saw that and brought you back to her" she says with absolute certainty in her voice. 

"Well whatever it is, you're back now," Davos says with an attempt at a hopeful smile, placing a reaffirming hand on Jon's shoulder. 

"Could anyone tell which direction she was heading in?" Jon asked, glancing over at the wolves. Would he have the same reunion with Rhaella as the wolves had with one another? 

"Are you thinking about going after her?" Davos asked with a worried smile. 

"Can we have this discussion after I get dressed?" Jon asked, feeling the anger start to rise in his chest. 

"Of course" Davos replied, him and the red woman exiting his chambers. It was only Jon and the wolves. That's when it hit him most. She was here, she was here and she slipped right through his fingertips. It made him angry to think about.

That anger stayed with Jon as he dressed, and went out to arrest the men who had done this to him. Later in the day, they were all lined up with ropes around their necks, waiting for Jon to deliver the sentence. 

"It's not right what you did! Bringing Wildings beyond the wall!" Ser Allister said with venom in his voice.

"Neither was killing me"

Jon unsheathed his sword and walked forward to cut the rope. Their last words offered no remorse, which Jon was thankful for because he would have let them live. If they were even the least bit sorry, Jon would have let them go. He hated that they did this to him, that they were making him do this. 

But in some ways, he had them to thank. If they didn't do what they did she would never have come. He would never have known that she was alive and now she was here. Now he could leave and go find her. He would hold her again, feel her lips and her heart beating against his chest. But that didn't matter now. Jon shook off his moment of hesitation and swung his sword, cutting the rope in two. There was anger with the swing. Anger at not being able to be the leaser Commander Mormont thought he was. Anger that he took so damn long to wake up. That she was here, that she was within reach, and gone all over again. If only he could have seen her or felt her touch instead of the ghost of it. Now, he only had reminders of her presence, Winter and the dire wolf necklace. Which he wore tucked under his shirt. If only he could tell her he was alive, her emotions made her reckless as far as he could remember and there was no telling what she would do. His only clue was mumbling Davos overheard her say. 

"Vengence for the family", but what could that mean? She only threatened the Men of the Nights Watch, a spectacle to behold, Davos commented. Would she go to King's Landing for Ned and the girls? The twin towers for Robb and Catelyn? The Iron Islands for Bran and Rickon? There was no way of knowing where she would go, or what vengeance she knew of that needed to be pursued. But he would find her. 

He put his sword back in place and took off his cloak, handing it to Ed. Ed looked at him in shock and confusion. 

"What am I supposed to do with this?" he asked. 

"Wear it, burn it, I don't care anymore" Jon grumbled, walking out of the courtyard.

"My watch has ended" Jon mumbles, walking back to his chambers to begin packing. He had a long ride ahead of him, and he had no idea where he would go first, but he had to try. 

Ed walked into his chambers as he was finishing up his packing. There wasn't much to take, he had very few items of his own. The one of true significance to him was on the finger of her. 

"What are you doing Jon?" Ed asked. 

"I'm leaving"

"You gave a vow, Jon"

"Aye, I did. And I gave my life as my vow required. As far as I'm concerned I'm no longer bound to the men of the Night's Watch" Jon grumbled. 

"Jon,"

"No Ed, I tried to do right by Mormont. I did what I thought was right and I got a knife to the heart for it" Jon snapped at Ed. Ed stayed silent, he couldn't force Jon to stay. 

"Where will you go?" he asks softly. Jon remained quiet. 

"Are you gonna go after her? The white-haired woman?" he presses. 

"She has a name" 

"And why should I know it? You've never mentioned her before, not to me or to Pip"

"What was there to tell?!" Jon snaps, abruptly turning around to face Ed. 

"That you loved her, that the ring on your finger didn't belong to your mother but bound you to that woman. That you had a child with her. There was a lot you could have said, Jon. You chose to keep quiet about her, why?" Ed asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Keeping calm despite Jon's quick temper. 

"Because...I didn't want to bring life to the ghost I saw every day. It wasn't like there was anything I could do. I couldn't help her, or save her. I failed her, and it wasn't something I wanted to admit" Jon answered with a heavy sigh. 

"That night, when you got word about your father...you weren't leaving to go to your brother were you?" Ed asked, a look of realization on his face. 

"I wanted to go to her. I had heard she was with child...my child. And knowin she was all alone in King's Landing, with no one to protect her or the babe. I thought that maybe I could get to her, that I would save her and we could have a life together. Even if I would be a deserter and despite her being called a traitor for it" 

"I'm sorry, that you couldn't have stayed with her" Ed said, which caused Jon to give him a confused look. 

"Sam may have mentioned a girl who couldn't handle the cold," Ed said with a smile. Jon gave a half smile in return. Of course, Sam would tell them, he couldn't keep a secret to save his life.

"Looks like she can handle the cold now though since she came here without shoes" Ed mumbled with a chuckle. Jon's smile grew a little and he couldn't help but give a chuckle in return. 

"You know why her hair is white then?" Jon asked. 

"A mark of the Targaryens, who could forget?" 

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the bell. The sound that meant someone was coming through the gate. Jon's heart leaped in his chest. Did she come back? 

Jon and Ed walked out of his quarters to see who had come through. It was people on horses, and riding amongst them was Sansa. 

Jon was shocked and overjoyed at seeing his sister. And the look on her face said she thought the same about him. Jon quickly ran off the platform as Sansa moved to get off her horse. Neither spoke as they engulfed one another in a hug. Jon held her tightly while she just relished in the nearness of him. Although she never said it, Jon was her brother, as much a brother to her as Robb and Bran and Rickon. 

Once the horses were put away and the small party of riders settled into their chambers it was nightfall. Both Starks had so many questions to ask the other but decided to wait until morning. 

I didn't want to be back here. So soon after seeing his lifeless form lying on the table and the gods were tormenting me with another dream?

We were in the field of snow. I was sitting in my patch of burnt grass with my red silk dress spread out around me. But there were tears it in. I slowly reached my hand up to my left cheek and felt the cut Ramsy had left me earlier today. Even in my dreams, I couldn't escape the bruises or cuts he left me. Even my red dress was torn and frayed in places. The gods wanted to punish me, by not allowing me to escape Ramsy in my dreams and by seeing Jon, to be reminded of my failure. 

But this wasn't the Jon I normally saw in my head. This wasn't the younger Jon from the past who normally visited me. And it wasn't an older Jon from the future, who I saw as a teenager. No...this was the same man I left back at Castle Black. 

"Why are you here?" I shouted to him as he walked closer to me. 

"Emylea?" he asked, confusion overtaking his features. I felt the tears well up in my eyes at the sound of his voice and that name.

"I haven't heard that name in a long time" I mumble, trying my best to keep my voice even. 

"Are you here to mock me?" I ask, trying my best not to choke up from the pain in my throat. 

"Mock you? Why would I..." then a realization come over his face and he slowly sat down next to me. 

"What happened to you?" he asks, looking me over with pain in his eyes. I let out a little laugh as a few more tears roll down my cheeks. 

"What didn't happen?" I reply. I try my best not to look at him. To not look into his chocolate eyes, but I do. He seems almost terrified when he looks at me. Like he has words to tell me but he can't, or doesn't know how. 

"I miss you Jon" I cry, trying to move closer to him, but I was confined to my grass as he was confined to his snow. I see tears start to form in the corners of his eyes as well. 

"I know, I miss you too" he answers, his eyes continuing to roam over me. I felt he was drinking me in like a fine wine. But was it for the last time? As much as I hated his haunting me I couldn't live without it.

"I hope I'll see you soon, you and our daughter" I mumbled, but he stayed silent.

"I'll try to stay alive because I know you would want me to. But I can't guarantee it. I don't know what he'll do to me next...or how much longer I'll be able to endure it but I promise to try. For you" I continue, the words falling out of my mouth in a jumble. 

"I would take your place. I would take all this pain from you and put it on myself if I could" he says, trying his best to get to me, to touch me. 

"I know you would" I answer, not having the strength to say more. 

But all too suddenly I was ripped away from him and the dream. I awoke with a start on the Lord's chamber floor. My ankles still chained to bed posts. I was shivering uncontrollably. Ramsy had me dressed in the thinnest silk he could find. 

After finding out about the heat I could bring to the surface of my skin, Ramsay made it his personal mission to keep me weak and cold. Which meant cold water being dumped over me whenever my clothes were dry. No fire. An open window. Along with his nightly visits which would leave me weaker and in more pain than the night before. I was tired, cold, weak, and starving. I barely slept and when I did it was always brief. My limbs were sore from sleeping on stones and my leg hurt even more because of the break in it. The break he made when he captured me. 

I sat up on the cold stone, trying to summon my heat, but it was flicker and did nothing to warm me up. 

"Emylea" a voice whispered from behind me. My body winced with fear, thinking it was Ramsay. I slowly turned around and held a scream in my throat. 

There, standing before me plain as day, was Robb Stark. 

"R-Robb?" I stuttered, the chains clinking together as I moved. 

"Well who else would it be?" he chuckled, crouching down to eye level with me. He looked older than when I last saw him. He had a small beard and his curls were longer now. His face seemed a bit harder than the man I knew before. But I suppose war does that to a person. 

"I must be going mad" I mumble, quickly rubbing my eyes with my hands and keeping them there. It must have been sleep deprivation or the lack of food. Robb Stark was dead, and there was no way I could be talking to his ghost. But I felt his hands take my hands and lower them so I was forced to look at him. I still winced at his touch. 

"You aren't going mad," he says softly, smiling at me. I feel tears well in my eyes as he continues to stare at me. He moves his hand up and wipes away a few of my tears with his thumb. 

"Why are you crying?" he asks calmly. 

"I'm sorry I told you I was dead. I'm sorry I never came back and I'm sorry...that I wasn't there when..." I couldn't finish that sentence. My voice caught in my throat as I tried to shake the thought from my mind. 

"Hush now. It's alright. My fate was decided the moment I chose to leave Winterfell, no one could have changed it. Not even you" he tells me with a smile, lowering his hand from my cheek. 

"Then why are you here? If not to blame me for your death?" I ask, still feeling very confused by all of this. 

"I'm here to tell you that you're going to be okay," he says, which only brings more tears to my eyes. 

"I'll never be okay. Not after what he's done to me, and not after losing him" I state, letting the tears freely fall down my cheeks. He gives me a knowing smile and rises back to his feet. 

"You're going to be okay. I can promise you that" he says, taking steps backward until he fades into smoke. 

Jon took his seat at the breakfast table across from his sister. They exchanged smiles as he did so. Neither one wasn't quite sure who should speak first, or what should be said first. But Sansa being Sansa started the conversation first. 

"I'm so sorry, about Rhaella and the child" she began. She knew it was his child after she took some time to think about it. After she had grown away from the silly girl she once was. 

"She's alive," Jon says as he takes a drink of ale. 

"What?" 

"She's alive. She came here not too long ago after I was...injured" Jon said, deciding it was best not to tell his sister about his dabbling with death. 

"She was here...well, where did she go? Why would she leave you?" Sansa asked, trying to wrap her mind around the idea that her sister might actually be alive. 

"She thought I was dead when she saw me. The only thing we know is that she said she would get vengeance for the family" Jon explained. 

"I wonder what that could mean" Sansa mumbled, trying to piece the puzzle together herself. Jon continued on with his breakfast, a memory of breakfasts at Winterfell flashing into his mind. 

"We need to take back Winterfell" Sansa stated, making Jon almost choke on his food. She had told him earlier that morning about Ramsay Bolton and what a monster he was. 

"I'm done fighting Sansa. That's all I've done for 5 years. She's here and alive. I'm going to go find her"

"The Northmen will rally to our sides and-"

"Sorry to interrupt, but this came for you in the night," Davos said, walking over to Jon and handing him a scroll. Jon took it hesitantly and unraveled it. When he did, a lock of silver-white hair fell out onto the table. The whole table went silent as everyone looked at the lock of hair. Slowly Jon began to read the scroll.

"To the traitor and bastard Jon Snow,

You allowed thousands of wildlings past the Wall. You have betrayed your own kinda and you have betrayed the North. Winterfell is mine, bastard, come and see.

Your woman is locked up here in my chambers and is keeping my bed warm at night. Shivering violently on the floor, come and see. 

Your brother Rickon is in my dungeon. His direwolf's skin is on my floor come and see. I want my bride back. Send her to me, bastard, and I will not trouble you or your wildling lovers. I might even send you back your woman. Keep her from me and I will ride North to slaughter every wildling man, woman, and babe living under your protection. You will watch as I skin them living. You will watch as my soldiers take turns raping your woman and sister. You will watch as my dogs devour your wild little brother. Then I will spoon your eyes from their sockets and let my dogs do the rest. Come and see. 

Ramsay Bolton, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North"

Jon could feel his heart stop in some places as he read the scroll. He had Rickon and he had her. He had no idea how Ramsay found out about him and Rhaella but he knew. And the lock of hair he sent was proof to show him. 

Sansa took the letter out of his hands when he stopped reading halfway through and read the rest of it. 

"We have to take it back. He has our brother, he has Rhaella!" Sansa said, trying to best to keep her emotions under control. 

"We have no army"

"We could raise one. They would rally behind us" 

"You could ask the wildlings to fight alongside you," Davos told him. 

"He's right. They would fight for you. You brought them here, you owe them your lives" Tormund told Jon as he took a big bite out of the ham on his plate. Jon clenched his fists. He was being pulled out of one fight and into another. But Jon would do it for her. He would kill Ramsay for what he's done. For what he's done to Sansa and to her. He would pay. 

"We leave tomorrow"


	20. Chapter 20

They weren't leaving as soon as Jon hoped they would. He wanted to leave for Winterfell as quickly as they could. Sansa convinced him however that they needed to plan before they did so. Jon didn't want to plan. He wanted to go to Winterfell and stick his sword in Ramsay's belly for what he's done. He wanted to get to her. But he knew he could be putting her life at risk if they acted too quickly. 

So they sat in the dining hall around a table, calling together a war council. 

"We need men, men that we don't have" Jon stated from his seat at the head of the table. 

"What about the Wildlings? They'll stand with you won't they?" Sansa asked.

"Aye, they will. But it's not enough, we need an army" Jon replied. 

"And we're going to get one," Sansa said determinedly. 

"Or you could just let me go in alone. Let me sneak in and get Rhaella and Rickon and then we can talk strategy" Jon suggests. 

"We can't! You can't! He'll catch you, Jon, he'll catch you and kill you. He'll kill you and Rickon and Rhaella" Sansa states firmly. Trying to make him see, Ramsay didn't play by rules. Jon stayed silent. He didn't want to snap at her, here in front of the others. But he had to make her understand that she would die there if they didn't get to her quickly. 

He knew the dream he had the other night was of the present version of her. But how could he tell his sister that a dream told him he had to save her? 

"The minor houses will rise up with us. Lord Brynden has already retaken Riverrun and I'm sure he'll join up with us" 

"Where did you hear that?" Jon asked. Brienne gave Sansa a hard look before she answered. 

"I saw it in one of the scrolls Ramsay was sent. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that the North Remembers, and they'll join us you'll see" Sansa urged. 

"I'm sorry we can't help you. But the Men of the Night's Watch need to be here. We'll have a hard enough time fighting off the White Walkers by ourselves" Ed said. 

"After we retake Winterfell we'll send more men here. However many we can, I promise" Jon told his friend. 

"So when do we leave?" Tormound asks. 

"As soon as we can. We'll make for the other houses and rally them to our side" Jon says with a sign. The meeting ends with that and everyone gets up to pack their things. 

"Jon? Can we speak a moment?" Sansa asks, keeping her seat at the table. Brienne falters for a moment but Sansa tells her to go as Jon takes a seat across from her. 

"You don't have to tell me about Ramsay and what happened if you don't want to" Jon begins.

"No, it isn't that" Sansa mumbles, picking at her fingernails, trying to urge the words to her lips. 

"The last time I saw Rhaella...I betrayed her. She told me she was going to leave King's Landing and try to go to Robb before the baby was due. She kept going on about how the father needed to be there and how she had to leave. I didn't know at the time that she was talking about you" Sansa says. Jon could feel his heart skip in his chest. She had tried to come. She tried to leave. 

"But, as soon as she told me, I left her chambers and told the Queen. I was scared at the time that she would get hurt on the road or kidnapped because she was going to travel alone. I knew that she couldn't handle the cold and I was afraid that they'd both die trying to make it. It's my fault she didn't escape in time" Sansa explain with a shaky breath, tears in her eyes. That day had haunted her for years. She blamed herself for Rhaella and the child's death. Even though she was, in fact, alive, Sansa blamed herself for her capture at Winterfell. She should have been there. 

"It's not your fault. If anything you might have saved her life. If she went with Robb...she'd be dead too" Jon said slowly. 

"But she wouldn't have gone to Robb, we both know that" 

"If she came here, she would have died. From the journey or the cold. Besides, at that time I was beyond the wall. I wouldn't have been able to help her" Jon pressed. 

"You're right. But I'm not sure she'll be wanting to see me after what I did to her" 

Jon moved his hand out to place it over his sister's hand. 

"She loves you, Sansa. You're a sister to her. I'm sure she doesn't hold that day against you" Jon told her, giving her a soft smile. 

Jon stood up and left the chambers with Sansa, each leaving to go pack their things for the ride ahead of them. Jon didn't know how he would do this. Or how he would do it quickly. How could he ask these people to fight for him because of love? To risk their lives for that? He entered his chambers with his mind full of worry, trying to figure out how to deal with this mess. 

He closed his chamber door and walked towards his things on the bed, the wolves were sleeping next to the fire. He turned to grab something when he felt his head go all fuzzy. He had a massive headache and the room was starting to spin. He fainted and hit the floor with a thud. 

This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. The grassy landscape wasn't as clear as it once was. The sun was hidden behind some clouds, and it was cold. Colder than it has ever been before, even when they spoke in the snow. He felt a little disoriented but he turned around and saw her. She was sitting in the snow, with her legs buried underneath. He could see some of the red peeking out from the top. She turned to look at him, fear in her eyes. 

He ran over to her and fell to his knees beside her, trying to dig her out with his hands. But the snow was frozen solid underneath his fingertips. He couldn't save her. She smiled at him sadly. 

"I'm sorry, to drag you away from whatever it is your doing out there. Wherever you are. But I needed to see you" she said, tears in her eyes. He looked at her confused. 

"What's wrong?" he asks, moving his hand to gently brush against her cheek. She closes her eyes and smiles, leaning into his touch. He could feel the tears wet his hand. 

"I can't keep my promise anymore...I'm not going to survive this...I know Robb told me I'd be okay but I'm not. I can't fight anymore" she cried and he was terrified. She was broken. She thought she was going to die, and he believed her. Taking in her state, how he has ripped away from reality into their dream bubble. 

"No...no you can't. You have to hold on" he begged, her eyes opening so he could see the dark violet. But he also saw her pain. 

"I can't...I can't do this anymore, please don't make me" she cried, staring into his eyes. 

"You have to. You have to keep fighting. I'll be with you every step, I promise. But you can't give up. You can't give in" he pleaded. The snow began to move up her body, her cheek was getting cold. She was dying right in front of him. 

"Rhaella, please. It's not your time, not yet" he whispered, feeling tears in his own eyes. He had to save her. But she had to save herself first. He had no control and it was killing him. She closed her eyes and took in a shaky breath. Slowly the snow began to recede. But then it stopped. 

"I can't...I'm too weak" she cried, her voice cracking on her words. He took her hands into his, not sure if this would work. 

"Let me be your strength" he replied, holding her frail hands tightly. They locked eyes and he could feel some of his energy and strength drain out of him, and into her. He felt a bit sick and his head felt like it was about to split. But, eventually, the Snow disappeared enough so her legs were freed. 

After the ordeal was over, he pulled her into a kiss. Her lips were cold to the touch and felt a bit ghostly. She wasn't really here, and neither was he. They broke away and rested their foreheads against one another's. He cupped her cheeks in his hands, and they were as cold as ice. 

"You should have let me die" she whispered, tears falling out of her eyes. 

"Don't say that. Don't you ever say that" he whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead and moving back a bit so he could look at her. She looked down and he looked too. They could see a little layer of snow was already reaching out for her legs. 

"I don't know how much time you've bought me. But it doesn't matter. I'll see you and our daughter soon enough" she said looking at him with a teary-eyed smile. 

"I love you. But you have to hold on" he whispered. 

"I'll try" 

Jon woke up and sat up slowly. He felt weaker and his head was killing him. He felt sick. But if it meant saving her life, he would gladly pay that price. He finished his packing and calmly walked down the stairs to the courtyard where everyone was waiting. The wolves trailed after him, keeping close to one another. 

"Took long enough," Tormund said with a teasing smile. Jon smiled back and walked to his horse. Sansa walked over to him with a black cloak in hand. 

"I made this for you. It's like father's, at least what I can remember of it" she said handing it to him. He looked at the dire wolf sewn on the left side. 

"Thank you," he told her, pulling it on. They all climbed onto their horses and set off to start building their army. 

Daneary's watched as Jorah rode off. She couldn't believe he came back, three times after she banished him. Now that she wanted him to stay, he had to go to find a cure. They began their ride back to Meereen, but Dany had a lot on her mind. 

"How is my sister doing, ruling in my place?" she asked Daario. He didn't answer her. 

"Has something happened to her?" Dany asked, starting to feel a bit of panic rise up in her chest. 

"She left my Queen...the night you did" he replied. 

"What?" she asked in her queenly voice. 

"Why didn't you stop her? Why didn't anyone stop her?" she presses. 

"She left in a frenzy. The only things she said were that she had to save him. She also told us to tell you that she was sorry but she had to. She mentioned something about Castle Black in Westeros and that she would send word when she arrived when she was safe. Her and Visenya left after that" he explains to her. 

"And was their word, when you left?" 

"No, nothing. But I'm sure there will be once we return" he says, turning to her with a hopeful smile. 

But she was worried. Her little sister told her everything, or so she thought. But she never did tell Dany who the father of her child was. She didn't say much about him or the life she once had. She mentioned some things but obviously not everything. Dany should have pushed her more. She should have known about these things. How could she protect her if she didn't know? 

Tyrion was pacing in the meeting chamber. Varys, Monell, Myra, Missandei, and Greyworm were with him. 

"We need to go after her" Monell urged. 

"We should wait for Danearys to return. She's the queen she should decide what we do" Missandei countered. 

"We don't know if they found her or when she'll return. We know where Rhaella is, we can go after her" Myra said. 

"But is it wise? We are already searching for one Queen and then to start searching for another? The people could rebel" Varys offered. 

"Danearys told me to protect her sister. At all costs. We could not stop her from leaving. But we should wait and see what will happen" Greyworm says. 

"What if she's injured? Kidnapped or hurt? What if she needs our help and all we're doing is talking about waiting!" Monell snapped from his seat. Myra laid a hand on his arm, trying to get him to relax. 

"But where would we even start to look for her? We don't know where Castle Black is, or how long it will take to get there. None of us have ever been before, we'd have no idea what we would be up against" Missandei says. 

"I have been there...and trust me it is not a pleasant place. But I'm sure she'll be fine there. I know that there is someone there who would look after her" Tyrion says, moving to take a seat back at the table. 

"And who is that? She was a fugitive when she left, what makes you think they wouldn't turn her into the Queen?" Monell asks. 

"Tyrion is right. There is someone there who'll protect her." Myra says with a heavy sigh. She didn't like to think about the time they escaped together. How she forced her to come to her sister instead of going North. 

"Will someone please tell me what in the seven hells you are talking about?! Who would protect her?!" Monell shouted. Myra and Tyrion exchanged a look. 

"I don't believe it is in our right to say," Tyrion says, picking up his cup of wine and taking a long drink. 

"Damn you and your right. I deserve to know. I have been by her side for almost six years" Monell snaps, trying his best to keep calm. 

"And yet she hasn't told you. If she didn't tell you by now than you have no right to know do you?" Tyrion quipped. Monell fell silent. 

"It's alright. We all know you love her. We all do. But we have to be smart about this. The people can't know that their Queen and Princess are missing. They'll rise up. Others could attack us if word got out" Tyrion reasoned. 

"Then word will not get out" Missandei stated. Everyone but Monell mumbled in agreement. The meeting adjourned while Tyrion and Varys made their way to the throne room. Tyrion had asked to meet with a red priestess. He and Varys had heard them speaking in the Queen's favor and he was hoping to increase those good words. 

They didn't have to wait in the throne room for long before the red woman walked in. 

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Tyrion, hand of the Queen and this is my friend Varys" Tyrion says with a smile. 

"My name is Kinvara, it's nice to meet you both" she answers with a polite nod of her head. 

"Kinvara, what a wonderful name. I was hoping you could help us rally the people to our Queen's side" he says with a hopeful smile. 

"Of course. I will do whatever I can to support our Queen. But there are whispers among our other priestesses. Whispers that the Princess is the one destined to rule us. That she is the prince who was promised" Kinvara admits. Tyrion falters for a moment. 

"Why the princess and not the queen?" Varys asks the red woman. 

"The Queen is the unburnt and mother of dragons. But the Princess is the Dragon Queen. We have seen her power. How she can hold a flame in the palm of her hand and how her skin can be burning hot to the touch. Some believe the Lord of Light chose her, not her sister" she explains. Tyrion knew they were in more trouble than they initially thought. 

"Nevertheless, helping the Queen helps the Princess as she is the rightful heir," Tyrion tells her. She nods. 

"Of course my lord. I will do what I can to help, me and all of the other priestesses" she says with a small bow before exiting the room. 

"We have a problem" Varys mumbles to Tyrion. 

"A very big problem. The people aren't flocking to the Queen as I thought. They are flocking to her sister. A sister who isn't here for the people to rally behind" Tyrion huffs as Myra bursts into the room. 

"We have a problem," she says panting. 

"Wonderful! I was just telling Varys how we didn't have enough problems to solve" Tyrion says with a groan. Myra just stands there. 

"Well, what is it?" Tyrion asks with a heavy sigh. Was it the Harpys again? Perhaps the slavers had gone back on their word and were attacking them. 

"It's Visenya, she's returned," Myra says. 

"Well, that's good news! We need the Princess, now more than ever" Tyrion said with a relieved smile. 

"No, you don't understand. Visenya has returned without Rhaella" 

I woke up coughing and gasping on the cold stone floor. Why wasn't I dead? Jon. Of course, he would swoop in and save me. But I wanted to die. I wanted to join him and our daughter, wherever they are. But the gods weren't having it I suppose. I slowly sat myself up, the room still spinning around me. I was cold and starving. Exactly how Ramsay wanted me. 

My thoughts were interrupted when the door slowly opened. But I smiled when I saw who it was. It was the little girl who started to visit me a week ago. She had golden white hair that curled a bit towards the ends. Her eyes were a dark brown with what seemed like a hint of purple around the edges. She was pale with dimples in her cheeks. She couldn't be more than six-year-olds. But she was beautiful. 

I grinned as she quickly walked over to me in a pale grey dress that swished around her ankles. Her feet were bare like they always were. She smiled at me too as she walked over to me. I held open my arms for her to come to sit in my lap like she always does. 

"Hello sweetling, what are you doing here?" I ask, moving her hair to the side as she leaned against me. 

"I'm makin sure you're okay" she answered. I could feel tears in my eyes at her words. 

"I'm okay sweetling. But how are you? How was your day today? What did you do and what did you see?" I ask, resting my chin on the top of her head. She giggled as I wrapped my arms around her waist. 

"I just walked around the woods. It's nice there" she answered. 

"That does sound really nice" I mumble as I held her. 

"You really shouldn't keep coming back here, sweetling. Ramsay will be mad if he found out and what would your mother say if she knew you were sneaking up here?" I ask. 

"She likes it when I come" she answered simply. 

"I don't know about that sweetling. Does she even know you come here?" I ask. 

"She does. But she likes it when I'm here. It makes her happy. She likes for me to sit in her lap and to tell her stories" she answers. I freeze, chills running down my spine. She couldn't be. Could she?

"What's your name sweetling?" I ask softly. 

"Hope," she says turning to look at me with a smile. Gods, how could I have not seen it? She had Jon's eyes, his curls, and his smile. But she had Dany's golden white hair. 

"Why are you here?" I ask. 

"I wanted to see you. You're sad all the time and I wanted to make you happy. I'm sorry mommy should I not have come?" she asks, a bit of worry in her eyes. I hug her tightly and hold her against my chest. 

"No, I love seeing you, sweetling. I just didn't think I'd see you until much later" I mumble, closing my eyes, letting the tears freely fall. 

"I know. But you just seemed so sad. I can feel how much you miss me, and how much you miss father" she says, her little arms wrapping around my waist. 

"I do. I miss you both very much" 

"I still remember those stories you told me. The ones about you and father. How you danced together sometimes" she says with a laugh, pulling away so she could talk to me. I opened my eyes and smiled. 

"You were listening?"

"Yes, mother. I heard everything. I am a very good listener. Uncle Robb says I only listen to the things I want to hear though" she says scrunching up her nose. 

"Uncle Robb is with you?" I ask, the words trembling off my lips. 

"Yup. Him, aunt Talisha, Uncle Rhaegar, and grandfather Ned and grandmother Caitlyn and my cousin Ed" she says, counting them off on her fingers. She smiled as she got to the end, proud of herself for remembering them all. 

"And they're taking good care of you?" I ask. She laughs. 

"Of course they are Mother. Uncle Robb said you'd be very upset if they didn't. I think he's scared of you" she giggles. 

"Well, he should be" I reply, making her laugh more. She laughed as her father did. 

"And your father? Is he taking good care of you too?" I ask, but she looks at me confused. 

"He's not there," she says as if I should know this. How could he not be there? She rises from my lap and turns to face me. 

"I have to go now. They don't like it when I stay too long" she says with a sad smile. I raise myself to my knees and hug her tightly, placing a quick kiss on her soft cheek. 

"Be good for your Uncles and aunt. I love you and I miss you" I whisper. She hugs me back, gently around my neck. 

"I love you too Mother" she whispers back before pulling away and turning to leave the room. I watch as she opens the door and leaves and I feel my heart break all the more. 

My daughter was here. I held her and spoke to her. Only a week earlier I was talking to Robb. Was I going mad like my father? Or was I slowly dying? Skirting on the edge of reality and oblivion.


	21. Chapter 21

Jon and the others traveled to the wildling territory to enlist their help in the war to come. As they got closer to the main hut, Jon's thoughts began to drift. They always drifted, but this time they went to Ygritte. She saved him, in more ways than one. And how did he repay her? By pretending she was someone else. A part of him would always be with her, but not enough of him. She needed more than he could give her, and it was a different kind of more than Rhaella. Ygritte deserved to be loved by a man completely, not just the small part he gave to her. Sure they spoke about her sometimes...but not much and even then the conversations were hard. 

"Do you really think they'll fight with us?" Jon asked. 

"We're not clever like you Southerners. When we say we'll do something we do it" Tormund told him. 

Jon and Sansa entered the hut along with Tormund and Wun Wun who stayed in the back because of space. They met Dim Dalba who sat with the others around the hut. His was an elder of the group and his opinion was of great influence among the wildlings.

"Most of us wouldn't be standing here today if it wasn't for you Jon Snow. We owe you our lives and anyone who doesn't know that is a fool" Dim Dalba states. 

"We will fight with you, those of us that can. We know that Ramsay will be the end of us if he is allowed to stay in the North. So we will fight with you" he continues on. 

"Thank you Dim Dalba. This kindness will not be forgotten" Jon said with a smile as they left. They and the Wildlings began to travel to Bear Island, hoping to enlist the help of Lyanna Mormont. She was the granddaughter of the Lord Commander Mormont, and she had become the Lady of Bear Island after Robb's war. She was only 10 but she was rumored to be fierce. 

Jon, Sansa, and Davos entered Bear Island's great hall where Lady Mormont sat with her advisers and some armed men surrounding her. She looked young and fierce as everyone had said. The war had hardened her like it had most people. 

"Lady Mormont, it's an honor to make your acquaintance. My name is Jon Snow and I fought along side your grandfather at the Wall" Jon said introducing himself. 

"It is said that you were named after my aunt Lyanna who was famed for her beauty. I can see that the name was passed on for good reason my lady" Sansa says with a sweet smile, but Lyanna says nothing and glares at the small party. 

"Why are you here?" she states simply, ignoring the flattery and pleasantry. 

"We've come to ask for your support in the war to come" Jon states.

"And why should we help you?" she asks. 

"I remember seeing a raven written by you saying 'Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North whose name is Stark. You served Robb faithfully and we've come to ask the same of you in our reclaiming of Winterfell" Sansa answers. 

"Aye, I did send that. And I will continue to serve the Starks but your name isn't Stark is it? Tell me is it Lannister or Bolton now? And him, his name is Snow, so why should I serve you?" She asks, giving the party a hard look. Sansa and Jon had no idea what to say.

"My Lady if I may. Jon Snow is as much a Stark as the rest of them. He fought alongside your grandfather, a man who chose Jon to lead the men of the night's watch after him. He gave Jon his family sword because he believed in him. Believed he could lead. And you should believe in him too" Davos said, stepping forward to address the lady. 

She stayed silent and leaned over so her adviser could whisper in her ear. 

"We can give you 62 men" she replied. Jon faltered for a second which didn't go unnoticed. 

"Each man from Bear Island fights with the strength of 10 Northerners" she stated roughly. 

"We are grateful my Lady, thank you," Sansa told her with a slight smile. She nodded in response and they left the great hall.

Jon was embarrassed and began to doubt himself. If he couldn't even win over a minor house how could he be expected to lead them into battle? How could he save her if he couldn't get anyone to fight with him? 

This way of thinking only increased when they went to the Glovers, who only received them because Lord Stark was their father. They could only get a few minor houses to their side. It wasn't enough, but they were running out of time. She was running out of time. 

They made camp a little ways away from Winterfell. Jon was in his tent, trying to figure out a plan when Sansa entered. 

"Can't sleep?" she asked as she walked over to him. 

"No, not really" he answered, not looking up from his maps.

"We should try and recruit more houses before we attack. We don't have enough men yet" she says as she looks over the maps as well. 

"And we're running out of time. No one else is going to join us, we need to make do with what we've got" Jon answered, looking up to meet Sansa's eyes. 

"We'll be slaughtered, you'll be slaughtered if we don't get more men" she argues. 

"And she'll die if we wait any longer!" Jon snaps, slamming his hands on the table, making Sansa jump. 

"Sorry" Jon mumbles. 

"I know you love her Jon but we have to be rational about this. We can't just storm into Winterfell without more men" 

"Well, it's either that or not at all. If we wait too long Ramsay could gather more allies or the weather will turn and we'll be trapped here like Stannis was. We attack as soon as we're able and that is final" Jon answered. Sansa huffed in annoyance and left his tent.

Jon continued to stare at the maps, hoping a plan would come to mind. 

Daenearys was pacing about the meeting room like Tyrion often did. Everyone else was sitting at the table. 

"Not one of you tried to stop her?!" Dany groaned in anger. 

"No, it was the dead of night, most of us didn't know she had left until it was morning," Missandei said. 

"Okay, so how do we get to this Castle Black, how do we find her?" Dany asked, turning to place her hands on the table. 

"I don't think that would be wise," Tyrion said slowly. 

"Wise? Who cares about what is wise she is my sister! She is my blood and if anyone has so much as laid a finger I will make sure they die screaming" Dany said, looking up and glaring at Tyrion. 

"We need to think this through. You can't just fly there on the back of your dragon. We need the element of surprise" Tyrion argued. 

"He's right my Queen. If we have any hope of sailing to Westeros to take back the seven kingdoms then we need the element of surprise along with all your Dothraki and unsullied warriors" Varys replied. 

"We don't have time for that" Dany snapped.

"But you can't leave by yourself to go find her" Tyrion argued. 

"So send me" Monell offered. Everyone turned to look at him and his place at the table. 

"What?" Dany asked. 

"Send me. Allow me to go get on a boat and go find the Princess. Let me make sure she is safe" Monell begged. 

"If anything I should be the one to go. I've been by her side from the very start" Myra argued. 

"Have either of you actually been to Castle Black?" Dany asks. They both stay silent. Dany huffs in frustration. 

Greyworm enters the room and gives a polite bow. 

"My Queen, there are people here to see you. They say they have ships and want to help you" he says. Dany gives a strange look but follows Greyworm out of the meeting room and towards the throne room. The others follow her as well. 

When she enters the man and woman kneel in front of her. 

"Rise," she says and they rise to their feet. 

"My Queen, my name is-"

"Yara? Theon?" Myra said in astonishment, moving closer to the two. Theon gives the woman a confused look while Yara's mouth opens in surprise. 

"M-Myra?" Yara asks. Myra moves forward and embraces her little sister into a bone-crushing hug. 

"I thought I'd never see your face again" Myra mumbles into the hug. 

"Same goes for you" Yara answers, a bit of a crack in her voice. They break away and Myra moves to look at Theon. 

"Hello little brother, remember me?" Myra asks, moving and pulling him into a hug as well. He hugs her back. 

"Only a little. It's good to see you sister" he answers as they pull away. 

Dany stayed silent as she watched the family reunion. But she felt a pain in her heart at the sight. She missed her sister. 

"Anyways, as I was saying. My Queen, we would like to pledge our service and our ships to your cause" Yara continued, visibly fighting back tears of joy at seeing her sister again. 

"Why?" Dany asked. 

"Our Uncle Euron is going to do the same. But he's going to ask for your hand in marriage in return. I only ask for the Iron Islands" Yara explained. Dany nodded thoughtfully. 

"I'll accept your offer, on one condition," Dany said. 

"Name it" 

"You stop your ways of pillaging and raping," she said. Yara stayed silent for a moment. 

"Done" she answered, stepping forward and offering Dany her hand to shake. Dany takes it and smiles. 

"Monell. Take your ship and find my sister. Tell her we'll be in Dragonstone, waiting for her" 

Jon, Tormund, Sansa, Davos, and Lyanna were on their horses with soldiers behind them, waiting for Ramsay to arrive for their parley. Sansa had talked to him before about maintaining his composure around Ramsay. She told him he would try to get him angry and make him act rashly and that is was important for him to control his emotions. Jon told her he would try. 

They watched as Ramsay and a few of his men rode over to him. He had a smug look on his face, and the moment Jon saw him, he knew he was the monster Sansa said he was. 

"I am here to offer you terms of surrender. I will pardon you for deserting the Night's Watch and rebelling against me if you hand over my wife Sansa to me. If not you will receive no mercy from me" Ramsay says simply. 

"I decline those terms. But I'll offer you this. You and me, combat right here and now. Why do our men need to die when we can end this here and now?" Jon offered, giving Ramsay a hard look. Ramsay was tempted to take those terms but he knew better. 

"No thank you Jon Snow. Why would I agree to fight you here where I may lose when I can fight you with my significantly larger army and win?" Ramsay asked with a smile. 

"Oh, bastard I have something for you. A couple of gifts" Ramsay says with a sick grin. He holds out his hand and one of his men places a giant bag in his grip. Ramsay dumps it out and reveals the head of Shaggydog, Rickon's wolf. Jon did his best to remain emotionless but he was worried. 

"Oh and here. Catch" Ramsay says, digging some small items out of his pocket. Jon caught the two rings and looked them over. They were covered in dry blood, they were hers. Jon gripped them in his hands and looked up at Ramsay, glaring as he smirked at him. 

"She put up quite a fight when I took them from her. I nearly had to cut off her fingers to get them. She begged me not to take them, or to just leave her one. 'Oh please oh please don't take them!' she cried" Ramsay said, mocking her. Jon was about to get off his horse and kill him right then and there. But he and the rest of his party rode away. 

"Jon" Sansa called to him. 

"Don't" Jon mumbled back and turned his horse back around towards camp. 

He entered his tent where Ghost and Winter were laying by the bed. Tormund and Davos walked in after him. 

"Let's go over the plan again" Jon stated and the other men agreed. Sansa entered a bit later and listened in on the conversation. 

"I still think we should wait and try to get more men to our side" she huffs. 

"This is the largest army we could possibly gather" Jon retorts.

"You don't know Ramsay as I do. He is cunning and cruel and he isn't going to fight fair or noble. He's a monster" 

"Don't worry, I've dealt with worse. And you don't have to worry about him. I'll protect you from him I promise"

"No one can keep anyone safe, not anymore" she mumbles as she leaves the tent. 

They finish their talk of the battle to come. Davos and Tormund leave and Jon calls Melisandre to his tent. 

"You wished to speak with me?" she asks. 

"Yes, I wanted to tell you that if I fall in battle tomorrow, not to bring me back," he says. She looks at him curiously. 

"I'm afraid I can't do that. The Lord of Light has a purpose for you and if you should fall I must do everything in my power to bring you back. It is not my place to decide your fate. He may have only brought you back to die in this battle. I do not know. But I will have to try" she answers and leaves his tent. 

That night was a sleepless one, for Jon. 

I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I was haunted by ghosts. Was this what dying was like? Being constantly reminded of your failures? I was on the floor while Ramsay was sleeping on the bed next to me. He wanted to have me tonight, before the battle. Which isn't unlike most of the other nights he comes here. 

I was looking out the window, trying to see the moon or some of the stars, but the angle was all wrong. 

"Hello"

What ghost has decided to haunt me this time? I slowly turned around and saw a silver-haired man standing before me, beside him was Robb and on his other side, holding his hand was Hope. I smiled and opened my arms. Hope quickly moved towards me and hugged me, taking a seat on my lap. Robb and the man smiled as I placed a kiss on her cheek. 

"Who are you? I don't think I've seen you before?" I mumble softly towards the silver-haired man. He chuckles and steps forward to crouch in front of me. 

"Well, you were only a babe when we met. Father let me name you since I was the first one to hold you. Aside from mother that is" he chuckled, moving his finger under my chin so I would look in his eyes. They were purple like mine. 

"Rhaegar?" I asked in surprise. He smiled. 

"Hello sweet little sister" he replied, moving his finger away and brushing my chin a bit as he moved his finger away. 

"Have I failed you somehow too? Are you here to admonish me for leaving our sister?" I ask with a sigh. 

"No, of course not. I wanted to see you" he answers giving me a worried look. He glances back at Robb and then turns to look at me worriedly. He smiles at me sadly. 

"What is it?" I ask. He takes a deep breath. 

"This is the last time we'll be visiting you" he sighs. I feel my heart seize in my chest and I hold onto Hope a little tighter than before. 

"What, why?" I ask, feeling tears in my eyes. I wouldn't survive without them. Not with Ramsay as my captor. 

"We can't tell you that" Robb answers. I stay silent, trying my best to fight back the tears. 

"Oh don't cry, mother. We didn't mean to make you sad" Hope says, sadness in her voice. 

"It's okay Sweetling, Mother is just going to miss you is all" I answer, giving her pale cheek another kiss. I look up at Robb and Rhaegar. 

"Can I see Jon tonight then?" I ask. They give me confused looks. 

"He's not here Rhaella, didn't Hope tell you?" Robb asks. But I was still confused. I had watched him die. I sat by his lifeless body for hours on end. How could he not be there? Hope got up from my lap and walked back over to her Uncles. 

"I'm going to miss you all," I say as they move towards the door. 

"We'll still be with you. Just less visible than before" Rhaegar says with a half smile as they back away and turn into smoke. 

I laid back down on the cold stone floor and went into a state of dreamless sleep. 

I was roughly awoken by Ramsay, who shook my frame so hard that the chain around my ankle shook as well. 

"It's time for battle. Can I get a kiss for a send-off?" he asks with an evil smirk. I say nothing. I fall on my right side as he places a hard slap on my left cheek. I spit the blood from my lip onto the ground. He grabs my throat with his right hand and pulls me to look at him. 

"When I get my wife back maybe I'll keep you for a whore. You're certainly pretty enough for it, and very accommodating" he mumbles, giving my throat a rough squeeze. I continue to glare at him as he looks me over. 

"Or maybe I'll marry you instead. If you can behave. You'd certainly make a very pretty bride" he says more to himself than me. He lets go of my throat, making me cough, bits of blood painting the stones even more. He moves toward the door and smirks at me. 

"But first, I'll bring you Jon Snow's head" he spits, slamming the door behind me. I winced as the door slammed behind him. Why did he insist on telling me Jon Snow was alive when I knew him to be dead? I looked around the empty room and my eyes landed on the fireplace. There were a few fresh pieces of wood and ashes. Ramsay must have lit a fire last night while I was sleeping. 

Slowly I moved towards the fire, as close as the chains would allow me to go. I was able to move my hands towards the center of the fireplace. I could feel some of its warmth. It was very faint but I could feel it. I stuck my hands into the ashes and onto the wood buried underneath. My cut up hands cried out in pain but I didn't care, it was warm here. Over time that warmth turned into heat.

I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on that heat. I felt it getting hotter and hotter and when I opened my eyes, there was a small fire dancing around my hands. I was becoming hot again. My dragon fire was waking up. I moved my hands up and turned them over, holding a small portion of the flame in my hands. I flinched though as the sounds of battle increased and got closer. I was running out of time. 

I moved the flame to the chain by my ankle and then quickly grabbed the chain in both my hands. I held it for what could have been minutes or hours, I wasn't sure. But slowly, the chain started to melt in my hands. I gripped the chain until my knuckles turned white, trying to will it to melt faster. Eventually, the chain broke in my hands. I grinned and brushed away some of my hair from my cheeks. I was free. I was free and running out of time. The battle was getting louder and I would lose my chance if I waited too much longer. 

I crawled over to the bed and used it to help me to my feet. My right leg was weak and pained me a bit to put weight on. But I would manage. I moved to the chest that was across the room, limping the entire way. I opened it with shaky hands and smiled as I saw my blade inside along with the cloak Sansa had made for me. I grabbed the blade and I was about to grab the cloak but there was banging coming from outside. 

I stood back up shakily and opened the door, quickly limping down the hall and towards the courtyard. I leaned my back against the stone wall by the crypt. I could hear the fighting going on behind me. I could slip out and away easily. I had my sword raised up, preparing to defend myself. I peeked around the corner and nearly dropped my sword at the sight. Ramsay was firing his bow at...Jon. Jon was walking towards him with anger in his eyes and when he got close enough he tackled Ramsay to the ground and began to beat him. 

I moved slowly forward, unsure of what I was seeing. I limped so I was only a few feet away. Jon continued to beat the man bloody until I raised my voice.

"Jon?" I called out shakily. He stopped and looked up at me. He was covered in blood, which I hoped wasn't his own and in mud. His hair had grown long and was pulled back into a knot. His brown eyes locked with mine. 

There she stood. She was dirty. Dirty and ashes were covering her face. Her dress was torn and tattered and she was favoring her left leg over her right. Her silver-white hair was frayed and dirty as well. She was looking at Jon in shock and locked her dark violet eyes with his. 

He couldn't be real.

She couldn't be real. 

He was supposed to be dead.

She should have been with her sister. 

It's been years. 

How many years has it been?

I could feel my heart fluttering. He was here and he was real. 

She was real and she was here.

I needed to get to him.

He needed to hold her.

I didn't care about my limp. I didn't care that Ramsay had broken me. I ran towards me, dropping my sword, not caring about anything else. 

She dropped her sword and started to run towards me. I let go of Ramsay and moved towards her. 

I didn't care that he was covered in blood and muck. I threw myself into his arms. 

She threw herself into my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck, connecting her lips with mine. 

I kissed him. I held on as tight as I could. 

I held onto her tightly, fearing she would disappear if I let go. 

"I should never have left you" he whispered to me softly, tears in his eyes as he took in my broken body. 

"I should never have returned"


	22. Chapter 22

After Jon and I broke away, I turned to see Sansa looking at me with tears in my eyes. I smiled as she moved quickly forward and pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back tightly. I thought I'd never see her again. She pulled away and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes as she smiled. 

"Tormund, will you take them inside the Great Hall, please? I'm going to deal with this one" Jon asked, grabbing Ramsay by the collar of his shirt and lifting him up. A tall, big ginger man walks over to Sansa and I. I wince in fear and pain as he places a hand on my shoulder. He guides us towards the great hall where some northern men are tearing down the flayed man banners. 

"We should get you cleaned up, and that can't be comfortable," Sansa says gesturing towards the bit of metal that was around my right ankle. I nod, unable to find my voice. I follow her out of the great hall, Tormund trailing behind us as we move towards the hot springs. 

"You should go see if my brother needs any help," Sansa tells Tormund. He nods and gives me a smile. 

"It's good to meet the woman he hasn't shut up about," Tormund says as he turns to leave. 

I walk closer to the hot spring, smiling at the feeling of the heat and mist it produces. Sansa turned around as I quickly undressed, taking off the ratter dirty dress I had been wearing for months. I walked into the pool and sighed. I was finally warm. The bruises that had covered my body like a blanket were soothed by the hot water. 

"You can turn around now," I tell her, watching her turn around to face me. She sits down by the pool and beckons me to come towards her. 

"Here, let me put your hair up," she says. I move towards her and turn around. I flinched the first couple of times she touched my hair, but I got used to it after a while. She didn't have a man's touch and for that I was grateful. We didn't say much. By not talking we could pretend that it was just another day in Winterfell. Even though we knew we weren't the same as before. After she finished braiding my hair and pinning it up in a bun, she rose to her feet and grabbed my ratty dress. 

"I'll go get you something more suitable to wear," she tells me as she leaves. I move around the pool of warm water, rubbing my hands gently over my body to make sure it's clean. I lean my head back against the bank and close my eyes, slowly bringing the water up to a boil. 

"Rhaella!" 

I jumped and quickly sat up, opening my eyes to see Jon running over to me. 

"What? Has something happened?" I ask, looking around. Were Ramsay's men still here?

He stopped in his tracks and looked at me confused, looking down at the boiling hot pool of water. It was then I understood his fear. I swam back across the pool towards him, resting my arms on the bank beside him. 

"It's okay...It doesn't hurt me like it would most people" I say gently as he moves his gaze away from the boiling water and towards me. 

"Are you doing that? Making the water boil?" he asks, slowly taking a seat on the bank in front of me. He was still so dirty, he had wiped most of the blood off his face but there was still some scattered about his cheeks and brow. 

"Yes," I answer simply, lowering my body temperature, bringing the water back down to its normal temperature. He smiles softly. 

"So you finally got warm then?" he asks. I nod with a small smile. We look at each other awkwardly for a few moments. 

"Would you like to join me?" I ask the words leaving my lips before they can reach my brain. He looks at me a bit startled. 

"Are you sure?" he asks. I take a shaky breath and nod. He starts taking off his boots, I turn around to give him privacy, trying my best to keep my body from getting too warm. I didn't want to burn him. But I was also terrified and nervous, emotions that tended to cause my body temperature to spike. In my mind, I knew Jon wasn't Ramsay. I knew that Ramsay was locked up and would never touch me again, but my body didn't know that. 

I turned around after I felt him enter the water. Slowly I made my way towards him until I was in front of him. Slowly I raised up my right hand and cupped his cheek. It was warm and full of life. It brought tears to my eyes. He raised up his hand in response, making me flinch as he put a hand on my cheek and slowly brushed away my tears. I leaned into his touch, feeling like the 15-year-old girl I once was. 

"Why are you crying?" he asks softly, slowly running his thumb over my cheek. 

"The last time I saw you...you were dead, laying on a table at Castle Black" I mumble, looking down from his gaze. 

"Look at me, please" he whispers. I move my head up to look into his deep brown eyes and I can see tears in them. 

"I swear to you, that I will never leave your side again for as long as I live," he tells me, looking deeply into my eyes. 

"I'll never leave your side either" I reply, resting my forehead against his. His places a hand on my waist, making me wince in fear and pain, but I hold it back as much as I can. 

"I love you. I've always loved you and I promise you won't lose me again" I whisper. 

"I love you too, and you won't lose me either. I promise" he mumbles back. Our lips connected in a soft passionate kiss. I finally felt whole again, like the hole in my heart was finally filled. I rested my hands on his chest as he kissed me and pulled me closer. Oh, how I missed these lips and being held by his arms.

"Ahem" 

We instantly broke apart and looked to the bank where Sansa was holding a dress. 

"When you two are finished, suppers ready in the Great Hall," she tells us with a knowing smirk, setting my dress down on a nearby boulder before she walks away. I feel the heat rising to my cheeks and Jon winces under my touch. I quickly take my hands off of him and back away a bit. 

"I'm sorry, I don't have control over it sometimes" I explained. He moves closer to me and wraps his arms back around my waist. I tried my best to hide my flinch but the water shook around me. 

"It's okay, you just surprised me is all" he replied with a smile. I smiled back and let my hands rest on the top of his shoulders. I brought one of my hands up and wiped away some dirt and blood from his cheeks. He had a beard now, something that still threw me off a bit when I touched his cheeks. 

I continued to quietly wash the dirt from his face. I moved my hands to his hair and gently pulled his hair out of the knot. His raven curls fell from his knot and he gave me an odd look. 

"I'll put it back in a knot for you when we're done" I mumble. I took my arms off his shoulders and gave him a look. He rolled his eyes and quickly dunked his head under the water. When he came back up he immediately wiped the water from his eyes and pushed his hair back. He moved towards me and brought his hand up to my hair. He released it from the bun, then the braid. My silver hair fell down towards the water, framing my face. 

"Your turn", he says. I smile and move back a bit. I take a deep breath and dunk my head under the water. I surface with a gasp, the cold air pricks at my face but I don't care. For a moment I couldn't feel the bruises or cuts across my body. There was only him and I in the hot springs. I wiped the water from my eyes, feeling instantly cleaner. I moved towards the bank of the hot spring. 

"We shouldn't keep them waiting," I say, glancing over my back to look at Jon. He nods and moves towards me. 

"Can you help me out?" I ask, he chuckles. 

"Of course," he says. He places his hands on my waist, making me flinch for what felt like the hundredth time. He lifts me up so I sit on the bank of the pool. I look at him as he glances over my body. I think I can see tears in his eyes but I'm not sure. 

"I'm so sorry I-"

"Don't...please I don't even want to think about it. But it's not your fault okay?" I say, quickly cutting him off. He says nothing as I rise to my feet shakily, the shackle on my right ankle was gone...melted off maybe but my skin was still sore. I limped over to the clothes Sansa had got for me and slowly pulled them on. I heard him get out of the water as well as I tried to lace up my dress. I struggled for a while until Jon set his hands on my waist, making me flinch yet again.

"Here, let me" he mumbles, gently lacing up the back of my dress. I hold my hair to the side, drying it with my hands. I turned around when he was finished. He was wearing his trousers and undershirt, his hair dripping down his back. 

"Let me fix your hair," I say, moving forward and turned him around. I dried his hair with the heat from my hands and pulled it back into a knot for him. I braided my hair while he finished dressing and pulled on his cloak. I smoothed out my snow white dress with fur lining and pulled on the boots. My hair was pulled back into a braid that sat on my right shoulder. 

We made our way towards the Great Hall in silence. There was so much that needed to be said but not enough time. When we entered the Great Hall most of the soldiers were seated at the tables, eating and talking amongst themselves, but everyone went silent when we entered. 

"Nice castle you got here Snow!" Tormun called from one of the tables, raising a cup to us in a toast. The rest of the room erupted into cheers and laughter as we made our way to the high table where Sansa, Ser Davos, and the red woman were waiting. The only available seats were the Lord's and Lady's. I hesitantly moved to sit in the Lady's chair. Jon pulled it out for me and took a seat next to me. 

The cooks brought out plates of food and drink for us and I could feel my stomach grumble at the sight. I tried my best to seem dignified as I ate, but I was starving. Months of living off crusts of bread and water made my body weak and crave the taste of meat. I ate as much as my stomach could handle, which wasn't much. No one spoke to me, no doubt because I was focused on my food. But everything I had to say would take more time than a single meal. 

I sat with my shoulders in a rigid position, afraid that if I let my guard down something horrible would happen. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Jon placed his hand on mine on the table. He gave my hand a light squeeze of reassurance and continued to talk with Ser Davos. His hand was a comfort in mine. I felt so out of place, sitting here, pretending to be a lady. I was a princess and lived for years as such. I tried to put this place and him out of my mind for so long. To finally be back here, with him by my side, I could hardly believe it was true. Maybe I was dead...maybe Ramsay had killed me in the night and this was all a dream. 

"Are you alright?" Jon asks, turning to talk to me. It took me a moment to process what he had said before I answered. 

"Fine...why?" I mumble back, turning to look at him. 

"Well you look like you're waiting for someone to attack you," he says looking at me with concern. His brow was furrowed as he assessed me. 

"I just never imagined I'd be here. With you. Let alone sitting here" I answered, looking around the room. The room full of men. 

"I know. It feels strange sitting where Father sat. I keep waiting for him to come out and tell me to get out of his chair" Jon says with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. I give a light chuckle in response and take a drink of water. We continue on with our meal, holding hands and talking about how meals used to be. After the meal was done we walked up to the battlements that overlooked the countryside. Sansa was there looking out as well. 

We stood by her side and looked out over the snow-covered land. It was snowing now and more than the summer storms. Winter was here. 

"I'm having the Lord and Lady's room made up for you," Jon tells her. 

"No, you should have it. You both should" Sansa says turning to look at us.

"You are the Stark in Winterfell, which makes you it's Lady. You should have the rooms" I say with a smile. She smiles back. 

"Thank you" she answers and turns back to look over the battlements. 

"A white raven arrived, from the Citadel. Winter is here" she tells us. We look on in silence for a little while more. 

"Did you ever think we'd come back? After the day we left and after everything happened?" I ask, the snow starting to sizzle around me. 

"No" they both answer. 

Eventually, we move back towards the chambers. We leave Sansa at the Lord and Lady's chamber and Jon walks me to mine. I slowly push open the door and smile at the room. It was almost just how I left it. The maids had started a fire and put fresh furs on my bed and there on top of my bed was my sword, Black Sister. I quickly walked towards it and picked it up. 

"How did you come across a Valyrian Steel sword?" Jon asks, moving towards me and closing the door behind him. I took a deep breath. We had to talk eventually, it might as well be now. 

"In King's Landing, down where they keep the old dragon skulls. I found it in a chest" I answer, moving to place my blade against the wall by the fireplace. 

"And how about you? Where did you get yours?" I ask, turning around and motioning to the sword he wore on his hip. Slowly he drew his blade from his sheath and held it out in his hands for me to take. 

"The Lord Commander of the Night's Watch gave it to me" he answered as I looked over the blade, with a wolf's head pommel. I handed it back to him and he walked over to the fireplace to put it next to mine. 

"How did you end up here?" he asks. I take another deep breath and sit on the edge of my bed. 

"It's a really long story" I mumble with a dry laugh. He walks over and takes a seat on my left. 

"We have time"

So I proceeded to tell him about my adventures. I talked about King's Landing. I talked about finding the sword and the egg. Escaping with Myra, our daughter. About crossing the narrow sea and finding my sister. The battles I fought and won. I briefly mentioned Monell. I told him about Meereen but I paused when we got to that point of the story. 

"How did you know...about what happened to me?" he asks. I rise to my feet to stand before him and start fiddling with my finger, where my ring would normally be. 

"You're going to think I'm mad" I mumble, looking down at my fingers. How do I say this? How do I tell him without seeming crazed?

"I had a vision...one night in Meereen after the Harpys forced my sister to flee. I have these dreams sometimes, about you. Dreams about you in the future and then you from the past. But that time, it was different. I was in Castle Black and I watched you walk down those steps. I swear you turned your head and looked at me...you cupped my cheek before...before you died. I woke up and I knew...the gods were giving me a chance to save you" I said, looking up at him. He stayed silent. Oh, he did think I was mad. I don't blame him, I would think I was mad too. 

"I've had the same dreams...about you. That night when my men stabbed me, I saw you" he says looking at me with wide eyes. I falter for a moment. No, this was crazy. Our dreams couldn't be...could they? I bite my lip to hold back my tears. I was crying too much these days. He reached out and grabbed my hands, pulling me to stand between his legs. 

"I don't think you're mad...because if you are then I must be too," he said with a half smile, making me smile for a brief moment. I sit back down next to him. 

"What about you, tell me about your time at Castle Black," I say, moving my legs so one of them was tucked up so I could face him properly. 

He took a deep breath and told me his story. He told me about Maester Aemon, going beyond the wall. The white walkers. He briefly mentioned a wildling woman named Yigrette. How he became Lord Commander, getting stabbed. Assembling his army to take back Winterfell. 

After he finished talking I stayed quiet. My mind was racing with everything he just told me, but my main focus was on the dead. The dead that rose up and had blue eyes, that wanted to kill us all. 

"So where do we go from here? What's our next step?" I ask with a heavy sigh. He takes a deep breath. 

"I'm not sure. The men of the Night's Watch need more men to man the wall against the incoming threat. But...I'm tired of fighting" he admits, placing his head in his hands. I slowly place my left hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently. 

"I know...but the war isn't over yet. The war of Kings or the war against the dead" 

"Is it horrible that I don't care? The only thing I've wanted to do is get back to you. And now that you're here, now that I'm not bound by a vow...I'm ready to stop fighting and...settle" he admits, putting his hands down to look at me. I pull my hand back and look at him confused. 

"I don't understand what you're saying" I admit. He turns to look at me and takes my hands in his. 

"I want to marry you. I want to start the life with you we should have started years ago" he says, looking deeply into my eyes. Oh, curse the gods for Jon Snow's eyes. He could get me to do or say anything with those soft brown orbs. I pull my hands away from his. 

"It's been five years"

"And I've loved you for all of them"

"Jon we can't"

"Why not?" he asks. He looks hurt, and that look of pain makes my heart ache. 

"I'm a princess now. I have duties, responsibilities" I say rising to my feet. 

"Like what? You said so yourself that your sister was the Queen" he says, raising his voice just a bit. I feel my blood start to boil at his words. 

"Just because she's the Queen doesn't mean I don't do things also!" I spit, glaring at the man who sat before me. 

"Like what?! What is so important that you can't have a life with me?!" he shouts, rising to his feet. He was giving me the famous angry Stark look. 

"Believe it or not Jon Snow I actually have a life back in Meereen! I was about to be married off to one of the older houses so my sister could maintain her claim as Queen! My sister can't have children which makes me her heir apparent!" I shout back, sticking my face in front of his. 

"So I have to keep myself ready and available! I have to be ready to make another match for her sake because she is my sister and she is my queen and nothing is going to change that" I spit, turning on my heel and opening up the door. 

"Where the hell are you going?!" he shouts. 

"It's none of your damn business!" I shout back and slam the door behind me. 

"Damn that man" I grumble under my breath as I start walking. I made my way through the courtyard and towards the broken tower. I made my way up the winding steps I had been climbing since I was little. I stood out by the opening and watched as the sun began to set, wishing it was a sunrise. I wish I could go back...to that day in Winterfell before everything changed. Jon and I could have run off, started a farm together and be happy. It was everything I always wanted. Now here he was, dangling it in front of me like a string for a cat. 

He wanted to marry me...I could still barely wrap that idea around my mind. It brought a smile to my lips but a pain in my chest. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't marry Jon. I was the Queen of Dragons. If I ever married it would have to be to better my sister's claim. 

"I thought I'd find you here" he whispered. I turned around to face him, trying my best to hold onto my anger, but I couldn't. I sighed as he walked closer to me. 

"I'm sorry" we both said. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say or assume that you don't have a life or that what your doing isn't important. I just...I just got you back and I don't want you to go, ever" he says, moving his bare hands up to cup my cheeks. 

"I'm sorry too. I do want to marry you. It's what I've always wanted but...I have to talk to my sister first. But no matter what happens,...I'm going to spend the rest of my life by your side" I tell him with a smile, leaning into his touch. He smiles back and leans towards me, connecting our lips. My hands rest on his chest as his hands bring my face closer to his. His lips feel cool against mine and it sends shivers down my spine. By the time we break away, the sun has already set and the stars are twinkling through the broken stone. 

We make our way back to my chambers. He closes the door behind him while I get the fire started back up. I kneel in front of my old chest as best I can and pull out one of my old night shifts. 

"Do you want me to go?" he asks. 

"No, I don't. Besides, I need someone to help me with these laces" I reply with a smile. He smiles back as he takes off his gloves, while I work on my boots. Once my boots are off I walk over to him and turn around so my back was facing him. I didn't wince when he touched me this time. He quickly unlaced my dress, causing it to pool on the floor. I stepped forward and pulled on my night shift which I laid on the bed prior. When I turned around I saw him pull off his cloak and shirt. 

Before he could take off more I stepped forward and placed a hand on his chest, where the scars were. And there, a couple inches away from my hand hung the direwolf necklace. I held it in my hands for a second before letting it go. But my hand made its way back to his chest, tracing lightly over the scars. When my hand traces over the lowest one he finches a bit from my touch. 

"I'm sorry, do they still hurt?" I ask, looking back up into his eyes. 

"They're just a little sore," he says with a soft smile. I smile back. 

"Here, lay down...I want to try something" I mumble, gesturing towards the bed. He lays down flat on his back while I move to the left side of the bed and take a seat by his side. Slowly I lay my hands on his lower left side, where his scar is. Then I summon a very small amount of heat into my palms. He looks at me confused until the heat hits his skin. When the heat hits his skin he tilts his head back and closes his eyes, a small groan leaving his throat. 

The sound makes me smile and laugh a little. 

"Does it feel good?" I ask with a teasing manner as I slowly move my hands over his ribs. 

"Very" he answers with a small chuckle that makes me smile. I move my hands higher, to where his heart is, but I fumble a bit because of my messed up leg and almost fall on top of him. I catch myself before a do, and he does the same. His hands rest on my waist and my braided hair falls forward. Our faces aren't very far apart, and he knows it. He moves my waist a bit so I'm straddling him with my legs on either side of his body. 

He quickly moves his lips up to dance with mine. The kiss is passionate and full of fire. I try to make sure that my skin doesn't burn his but I get lost in his touch. His right-hand moves up from my waist to the back of my hair, gripping it lightly and pulling me closer. My hands moved to rest on his chest, trying my best to keep up with his feverish kisses. His lips move to my neck, bringing hushed whimpers to my lips. I tilted my head back to give him full access to my neck. He slowly sat up, keeping me in his lap. His left hand moved from my waist to the small of my back. His lips continued to leave kisses on the left side of my neck, his beard and mustache lightly scratching against my skin. 

My hands moved to the tops of his shoulders as his lips traveled down to my collar bone and the front of my chest. My heart was racing in my chest, I could barely contain the dragon fire within me. Wasn't I burning him? As his lips moved lower my hands moved to the back of his knotted hair, tugging on it gently. Gods how long had it been since we last had one another? Since I last felt his lips on my skin? My fingers through his hair? 

My lips moved forward a bit, grinding against his growing manhood. He groaned against my skin and his grip on my waist tightened. But his roughened hand sent a shock through my spine. I was thrown back to a couple nights ago. Suddenly it was no longer Jon kissing my skin, but Ramsay bitting it, with his fingers clawing into my skin. 

Immediately I pushed him away and scooted quickly to the foot of the bed. Jon looked at me confused with his chest heaving from the labors of passion. My chest mirrored his no doubt, but my labored breathing and my trembling limbs were from fear, not passion. 

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean...I just I-I" I mumbled, falling apart in front of him. He moved to his knees so he could be closer to me. I sat on the foot of the bed and tucked my knees up to my chest. It pained my right leg to do so but I needed that barrier between me and him. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you into anything" he says softly. My fingers tremble as I wrap my arms around my knees. 

"You didn't...and I wanted to...you don't know how badly I want to but..." I mumble, my words trailing off. How could I tell him that it wasn't his face I saw? That I wanted him to touch me but not? My heart was starting to race, the walls of the room were closing in around me. Ramsay's voice was slithering around the room. 

"Hey...hey just look at me alright?" Jon asks softly, moving to sit back down again. I looked into his eyes, and he offered me his arms. He was asking permission to touch me...asking if I wanted him to touch me. 

My hands trembled as I let go of my knees. Slowly I crawled over to him, on his left side. I let him gently place his arms around me as I laid down on his chest. He rested his chin on the top of my head as I started to cry. He didn't pull me tighter like I thought he would. He didn't whisper sweetly to me or rub my back, he just held me. 

I tried to hold back my tears and bite back my sobs, but I just couldn't. I had spent years being strong, pushing my emotions and feelings aside so I could escape, or fight. But I was so tired of being strong. For just once in my life, I wanted to be weak...without being vulnerable. So, I stopped biting the inside of my cheek and started to sob. 

I cried into his bare chest while he held me. I cried for all the things I had lost. For everything, I had suffered. I cried for Hope. I cried for Robb. I cried because I knew I could never get the terrible things Ramsay has done to me out of my head. I cried out of fear. Fear that I could never be with Jon again, not like we were before. 

I don't know how long I cried for. But over time my sobs turned into whimpers which turned into silence. I wiped away the rest of my tears and the wetness from my cheeks. My head was pounding with pain and my eyes ached from crying. 

"Do you remember the time you, Robb, Theon and I spent the night in the wolves wood?" He asks. 

"What?"

"Do you remember that night? When me, Theon and Robb snuck out of our chambers and you caught us on our way to the wood? We kept telling you to go back to bed. That a girl couldn't sleep out in the woods. And you crossed your little arms and stamped your foot and said 'If you don't take me with you I'll tell father'. We all walked out to the woods with our cloaks and blankets, except for you. We made a small fire and talked about war and fighting. Robb told stories about the old dragons and the conquering of Westeros because you asked. We were going to go back inside, but you fell asleep, with your head in my lap. Robb covered you with his cloak and told me to be still so you could sleep. He said you were having a lot of nightmares and that any sleep you could get would do you good. I watched you sleep for a while. You would smile or furrow your brow sometimes. I remember thinking how beautiful you were...and looking back on it now, it was one of the first times I fell in love with you" 

I smiled at that. I could only remember bits and pieces of that night with him. But to hear him talk about it was something else completely. 

"First times...there were others?" I asked, snuggling into his chest even more. He moved his arm a bit tighter around me and started to rub small circles into my back. 

"A few" he mumbles, but I can hear the smile in his voice. 

"Will you tell me?" I ask. He chuckles. 

"Maybe another time...I think you should get some rest," he says, moving to get up but I stop him.

"Stay...please. I'm fine with this it's just...the other stuff I'm not ready for" I say, moving up to look at him. He smiles and scoots down so he's laying on the bed next to me. I lay down next to him. Laying my head and left hand on his chest. He continued to rub circles into my back until I fell asleep. 

The next morning we were given the word that some of the other Northern houses were coming to speak and that they'd be here around midday. After breakfast, Jon had to talk with Ser Davos about something so I decided to go to the Godswood. There sitting before the tree was Sansa. I was about to say something but she beat me to it. 

"Do you remember the last time you were here...in front of this tree?" she asks. I take a seat next to her. 

"Yes, I do. It was with Robb" I answer with a sad smile. 

"I saw you two here... the silly girl that I was thought you two were declaring your love" she mumbles. 

"You weren't all that silly," I say with a teasing smile, lightly bumping her shoulder with my own. 

"So are you going to leave us then? Go back to where ever it was you came from?" she asks. 

"No...not yet a least" I admit, looking up at the bleeding eyes of the tree. She turned to look at me which made me turn to look at her. She had pain in her eyes, a pain I had experienced as well. 

"I'm so sorry...for telling the queen and for your child," she says quickly. I immediately pull her into a hug. 

"It's okay...I forgave you for that ages ago. I'm just happy that you're here and safe" I mumble over her shoulder as she hugs me back. 

"Me too...I missed you so much" she admits as we break away. 

"I missed you too...tell me everything that's happened I want to hear it all," I say eagerly. 

"I uh. Not right now. Jon will be expecting us soon" she says with an awkward smile. I nod and we both rise to our feet as we make our way towards the Great Hall. We enter and take our seats. She sits on my right while Jon sits on my left. We sit and talk for a bit as we wait for everyone to enter. 

The conversations start off lightly, well as light as a Northern conversation can be. Jon was chastised for letting the free folk over the wall. He kindly reminded the men that they fought beside him like everyone else. When even some of the Northerners wouldn't rally to his side. But Lord Cerwyn argued that the war was over and that winter was here. That everyone should ride home and wait out the storm. 

"The war isn't over. The true enemy doesn't wait out the storm, he brings it" Jon argued. 

At this everyone broke out into arguments and the hall disrupted into chaos until Lyanna Mormont raised her voice. She confronts the men who supposedly swore an oath to House Stark.

"We stated, that we Northerners from Bear Island know no King but the King in the North, whose name is Stark. I don't care if he's a bastard. Jon Snow has Ned Stark's blood running through his veins, and that makes him my King until my last day" she states turning to look at Jon. The rest of the room dissipates into quiet chatter. I look over at Jon who gives me a worried look. 

Suddenly Lord Wyman stands up and begins to speak. 

"Lady Mormont speaks harsh but true. My son was there with your brother and died by his side at the Red Wedding. I ignored Jon's summons because I thought he was fighting for a lost cause and I see that was wrong now. Jon Snow avenged the Red Wedding! He is the White Wolf! And King in the North!" Lord Wyman states, drawing his sword and kneeling before Jon. Lord Robett draws his sword and does the same. 

"You are the King, and I humbly ask your forgiveness" he states.

"There is nothing to forgive" Jon answers. Lord Glover gets up and states his allegiance to House Stark for the wars to come. He bares his sword and calls Jon a king. This sets off a chain reaction and all of the other Lords do the same. Even Ser Davos. Jon rises to his feet and smiles at the room who kneels before him. I glance at Sansa and see her smile fade just a bit. 

Jon glances at me and smiles and I force a smile back. The game just changed again, and this time I had no clue how to play.


	23. Chapter 23

It had been a couple weeks since Jon was named King in the North. I tried to help him as best I could but this was something he had to do and try to figure out. I advised him on some things, mainly when he asked. But I couldn't step into that role. He was King in the North, and I was a dragon princess. I couldn't just become his Queen. He told me he always welcomed my advice and wanted to know my opinion on things. But I tried not to give it. What if my opinion wasn't the right one? Or the opinion that needed to be said? Sure I helped my sister with some matters but she was doing most of the work. I couldn't lead people, I wasn't the ruler she was and I never would be. 

I was a fighter. I was a warrior princess. Queen of Dragons. My place was in battle, not in a chair.

I was in the woods with my blade, Black Sister, practicing sparring with a tree in the snow. I didn't actually hit the tree with my blade but I needed an unmoving target and I was too embarrassed to practice in the courtyard with the dummies. My right leg was finicky and I couldn't trust it to keep me balanced anymore. So I came here whenever I could to practice with my blade. The maester looked at my leg a little while ago and said that it was likely to be this way for the rest of my life. Another parting gift from Ramsay Bolton. 

I swung my blade left, right, lunge forward left, lunge forward right. But the moment I led with my right leg, I stumbled and fell to my knees. I groaned in frustration and tried again. I stumbled. Again. I fell into the snow. Again. My right leg gave out. 

I groan even louder and tried again. This time when I fell I tossed away my blade and stayed there on my back. 

"How's the training going?" 

I sat up and saw Jon looking at me with an amused look on his face. 

"Horrible" I grumble as he walks closer to me and offers me a hand up. I take it, my right leg faltering a bit when I stood on it. Jon steadied me as I regained my footing. Once I was steady he walked over and picked up my blade and handed it back to me. He was dressed like I was, wearing pants and boots with his shirt and leathers on top. But he wore a cloak where I didn't. My hair was pulled back in a single braid that fell down the center of my back. I was wearing brown leather gloves as well while he was wearing black. 

"How's your leg?" he asks, looking down to glance at my right leg. 

"It's useless is what it is" I grumble, trying to making it stand straight instead of being just a little bit higher than my other leg. 

"You shouldn't overuse it or you're going to make it worse" 

"I have to be able to fight with it. I need to get used to this new kind of balance" I tell him. He nods and steps back and takes his blade, Longclaw out of its sheath. He holds it up and points it at me. 

"Jon"

"Come on, pick up your sword and let's test your leg," he says, flicking the point at me. I roll my eyes and hold Black Sister up to mirror his stance. He takes a step towards me to tap his blade against mine, to test me. I easily deflect it and take a step back as he advances. He starts slowly, testing my range of motion and my strength. Then he starts moving faster, testing my reflexes and agility and then he starts moving around me. My right leg stumbles a bit but I'm able to deflect all of his blows. We move about the field and it felt like we were kids all over again. 

My leg was skaky but I powered through it and was able to fight with him like he was a true opponent. Towards the end of our fight, I lunge towards him and he moved out of the way, but not fast enough. My right leg gave out in front of him and I ended up tackling him to the forest floor. He landed on his back with a grunt as I fell on top of his chest, both of our swords falling to the side, forgotten. 

He started laughing which made me smile. I couldn't remember the last time I heard him truly laugh. I missed it. We both sat upright and faced each other. Snow was falling around us and it was sitting in his black curls. I wished I could feel snowflakes on my skin again. 

"I'd say you can handle yourself pretty well with that leg," he says, still a bit of a chuckle in his voice. 

"Well if I can defeat a King in battle I'm sure I can handle myself against anyone else," I said with a bit of a laugh. He chuckled and raised up his right hand to cup my left cheek. I leaned into his touch and smiled. He smiled back. 

"Yes, I'm sure you can" he mumbles a bit absently. He was drifting a little when he looked at me. I placed my hand on top of his and looked into his eyes. 

"Where are you?" I ask, leaning towards him. 

"Here, with you" he answered and leaned forward as well. Our lips grazed each other for a moment before I connected them fully. His lips were slightly cool to the touch and tasted of ale. I smiled at the feeling. We broke away and he moved his hand to tuck some stray hairs behind my ear. He got back to his feet and helped me up. 

"I have to get back, there are things the other Lords want to talk about and a war to prepare for," he says with a heavy sigh. 

"The work of a King is never done" I mumble back, leaning down to pick up our swords. I handed him his and grabbed my own, placing it back in my sheath. 

"You should come with me"

"We've talked about this"

"I know we have but I still want to know what you think about these things, and it would be easier to ask you without explaining what happened" 

"I'm not your Queen, Jon"

"Aye I know, but I hope you will be someday..." he tells me. I smile at that. 

"Someday maybe, but I'm not now. Besides, you have Sansa there to advise you" I argue. He only smiles and shakes his head at me. 

"What?" I ask. 

"You're still stubborn, glad to see that hasn't changed," he says with a teasing smile that makes me laugh. 

"Well hurry up my King or you're going to be late," I say readjusting the front of his cloak. He pulls me forward and places a kiss on my forehead. 

"I'll see you later" he whispers before turning to leave. I watch him walk away and let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. He still made me feel like a girl. I fiddled with my ring a bit. Jon had given it back to me after he cleaned it and added a three-headed dragon engraving on the outside. He was wearing his too, with the direwolf engraved on the outside. He told me Tormund would tease him about it from time to time but that he didn't mind it. 

I sat against one of the trees, trying to think of what I could do. I wanted to go to the stables but horses haven't been very fond of me. I suspected it was because they could sense the dragon fire within me. I could go to the broken tower, but Winterfell had gotten busy and the courtyard was filled with soldiers so it wasn't quite the peaceful place it once was. After a couple of minutes, I decided that the godswood would be best. 

I rose from my seat, using the tree behind me to help me to my feet and made my way towards the wirewood tree. When I got there, Winter and Ghost were laying by one another near the pond. They looked up at me lazily as I stood a seat on the large snowy boulder in front of the tree. 

I tried not to think about all of the other times I sat here, but this tree. When I was little I'd come here and sit next to Ned Stark as he prayed. Most of the time I would fall asleep next to him but sometimes I would manage to stay awake and he would talk with me like I was his daughter. 

Sometimes I'd sit here with Robb, more so when I was younger. And sometimes Jon would follow me out here. We'd sit next to each other with our legs barely brushing against one another and we'd talk. We became best friends under this tree and maybe one day we'd be married in front of it. It was a silly thought and I tried to brush it from my mind the instant it popped in, but I couldn't shake it. I sat for a while, staring at the water, but there I heard a rustling coming from the trees. 

I quickly looked over, wondering if it was Tormund again come to look over me. Jon never admitted it and I didn't ask but I knew he asked Tormund to keep an eye on me. Jon didn't trust that I could defend myself. I wanted to call him out for it, but I didn't really mind Tormund's company. It took me a while to get used to the man, but he wasn't the big scary man I thought he was. He was funny and fierce when he needed to be. We were becoming friends I hoped. 

But I didn't see the red hair in the trees. I glanced at Winter who had her head raised in interest, while Ghost was watching Winter. I slowly pulled out my blade as the rustling grew louder. 

"Princess?" 

Out from the cover of the trees, stood Monell. He was dressed in dark clothing and his brown cloak and boots. He looked at me with relief in his eyes as I rose to my feet. He quickly moved towards me and pulled me into a tight hug. I was too shocked to move or speak. How was he here? How did he find me?

"I am so glad to see you're okay, do you have any idea what kinda hell you've put us all through?" He asks almost a bit of anger in his voice as he grabbed my upper arms. 

"I-I...how did you find me?" I ask as he continues to look me over. 

"Your sister sent me...I was going to stop here on my way to Castle Black but then I saw Winter wandering in the woods...are you hurt?" he asks, looking down at my leg. 

"It happened a while ago, wait so are you telling me my sister returned? She came back?" I ask. 

"Yes, she and everyone else is sailing for Dragonstone, she sent me to find you and bring you to her," he says, his eyes shifting over my shoulder to look around. 

"Come on, we don't have much time" he mumbles, moving his hand to my lower arm and starting to pull me with him. 

"No, Monell that's not necessary you see--"

"Take your bloody hands off of her!" Jon shouted from behind me. Monell quickly let me go and grabbed my sword from my hand and pointed it at Jon who stood behind me and had his sword pointing at Monell. 

"Rhaella get behind me" Monell ordered. 

"Emylea, you should move" Jon advised. Curse that man and that name. Monell looked at me confused but I didn't move. 

"Will both of you please put down your swords? I'm not in any danger" I said calmly, turning so I could glance at both of them, my back turned to the tree. 

"Who in the seven hells is this?" Monell asked, glancing at me. 

"Watch your tongue" Jon spat back. 

"Stop! Both of you! Lay down your swords and let's discuss this like rational people!" I snap, feeling the heat start to rise in my chest. I glared at them both. Monell was the first to lower his sword. I turned towards Jon who was still holding his up. 

"Jon...please," I say, trying to convince him with my eyes. He glances at me and then Monell before he lowers his sword. I move to stand beside Jon who immediately moves his left arm around my waist in a tight protective gesture. 

"Jon, this is Monell. Monell, this is Jon, King of the North" I said, introducing them. They said nothing. 

"My sister sent Monell to come find me and bring me to her, in Dragonstone" I quickly explained with an awkward smile. 

"She's not going" Jon stated, staring Monell down. 

"What? Jon, can we discuss this?" I ask looking at him in shock. 

"It's too dangerous and we have a war to prepare for" 

"You mean you have a war to prepare for!" I snap at him as he turns to leave. I glare at him, feeling the anger start to radiate off of me in waves. 

"We can talk about it later" he mumbles turning to look at me with an authoritative look in his eyes. It was his King look...he was ordering me. 

"I don't take orders from you. You are not my King" I spit back, storming past him back to Winterfell. But out of the corner of my eye, I could see the once frozen pool of water by the tree, was boiling steam. I made my way back to my chambers and slammed the door behind me, the handle almost melting at my touch. I needed to calm down, but I couldn't. 

Jon took a deep breath as he watched her storm off and the pool of water goes back to its normal state. He turned back around to access the man who stood before him. He was glaring at Jon. But Jon didn't care and moved to follow her. 

"Don't" Monell called after him. 

Jon turned around and stepped forward and glared at the man, making Monell take a couple steps back. 

"I don't care who you are or what you are to her. But I suggest you leave" Jon snapped 

"She needs time to calm down" 

"I think I know what she needs. I have seen her angry more times than you probably have. Besides, who are you to her? Obviously not someone important or you wouldn't have let her go" Jon spat at the man.

"I did not let her go! Believe me, I would have done everything in my power to keep her from coming her!" Monell shouts in defense, trying his best to restrain his anger towards the man. 

"You know if you loved her, and I mean really loved her, it would have been you and not me who's been by her side all these years. You don't love her, at least not how you should" Monell said, his anger turning into something more subtle. 

"Don't you dare tell me how I feel about her. You have no idea how I feel. If you did you'd understand why I did what I did. Why I've endured all I have. It has been for her!" Jon says, continuing to glare at the man. Monell huffed in annoyance. 

"Fine, go talk to her. But it better be an apology that comes out of your mouth or it'll be your funeral" Monell said sternly. Jon turned away from the man and slowly made his way towards her chambers. 

I had taken off my shoes and stripped down to just my corset and pants. I was trying my best to calm down, but the fire still roared in the room and I had to stay on the stones. I was afraid if I walked on the furs they would catch on fire. It was a miracle that my clothes didn't burn off my body. There was a knock on the door, and I knew who it was. I didn't say anything, but the door opened anyway. 

Jon walked in and looked at me. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, standing there half naked with my bare feet on the stones of the floor. He silently closed the door behind him and took off his cloak, then his boots, his gloves, and his leather jerkin. 

"Can we talk?" he asks. I cross my arms in front of my chest. I could feel myself glaring at him.

"Depends, are you asking me or does the King demand it?" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to react like I did," he says calmly, moving to sit on the edge of my bed. I keep my arms crossed but my gaze softens a bit. 

"I am sorry I snapped at you, but it doesn't change how I feel about it," he says with a sigh. 

"She's my sister, Jon. The last time I saw her she was flying away on the back of a dragon"

"I know" 

"I'm the princess and her heir I have to go back-"

"I know all of that. But that doesn't make it any less dangerous" he says raising his voice a little. 

"She would never hurt me"

"She wouldn't, but others might. It isn't a secret how much you mean to me. If you leave Winterfell I can't protect you" 

"I can take care of myself Jon" I snap, feeling my anger start to return. He rises from the bed and gives me a sharp look. 

"You're still hurt. You're still learning to fight with your right leg-"

"But I'm getting better! I can handle myself!" 

"Can you?! If you could handle yourself you wouldn't have been taken by Ramsay!" he snaps back, moving to stand in front of me. 

"So this is what it's really about..." I mumble dropping my arms back to my sides. 

"Do you have any idea what kind of hell you put me through? I thought you were dead. Then I heard you came back and the next thing I know you're Ramsay's hostage. I thought he was going to kill you" he says, his voice wavering a bit. It was then I could see the fear in his eyes. 

"You swore to me you'd never leave my side" he states.

"And you swore you'd never leave mine. So, come with me" I offer. The fire went back down to its normal size and the room was no longer uncomfortably hot. 

"I can't. Not now. The North still needs to be secure and the war-"

"The war can wait, but I can't. Being here is making me crazy. I'm useless here"

"You're not useless"

"But I am. I'm no good at councils or dealing with people. I'm a fighter, I need to be fighting someone or planning a siege. That's what I'm good at. The only thing I'm good at" I admit, feeling the weight being lifted off my chest as I speak. 

He smiles and lifts up his bare hand to lightly brush against my cheek. 

"You're good at a lot of things. Why do you think I always ask for your advice? Because it's good. You are one of the most considerate people I know" he mumbles, tucking a bit of hair behind my ear. His hand lingers by my cheek. 

"Thank you so saying so, but it doesn't change how I feel" I mumble back as his thumb slowly moves towards my lower lip. 

"Just give me some time. Let me stabilize things here and then we'll both go" he offers, his thumb touching my lower lip and pulling on it slightly. 

"Okay" I answer, surrendering. 

The moment he moves his thumb away I jump onto him and connect our lips. It was a fast, hungry kiss. I couldn't get him close enough. There were too many layers between us. His hands wrapped around my back as my legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Our lips continued to fight as he carried me to the bed. 

He laid me down and quickly climbed on top of me. He lightly bit on my lower lip and pulled it towards him. My hands tangled themselves in his hair, undoing his knot. I tugged on his curls making him groan against my lips. His lips then moved from mine to my neck, kissing and nibbling and sucking on my flesh. 

I threw my head back and arched my hips towards his at the feeling. I let his hair go as his hands quickly moved to the laces on the front of my corset. He couldn't unlace them fast enough. As soon as he got the material out of the way, he moved his lips to my breasts. He started kissing and leaving bites on the tender flesh while his hand played with the other. I moaned at his touch and quickly moved my hands to his shirt. He sat up and pulled it off, tossing it aside and moved back to my chest. 

His lips moved down my breasts and onto my stomach. His left hand moved down and started to tug down my pants. He pulled them off my hips, which I raised to assist him and tossed them aside. He moved so he was laying on his stomach with his head positioned at my entrance. He looked up at me for a moment as if asking permission. I didn't say anything as he placed his hands on my thighs and moved his head down. I moaned as he starting kissing and licking me. My hands moved down to pull on his hair. I tried to buck my hips or move them from the intensity of the pleasure, but he kept a firm grip on me which kept me still. 

I cried out his name as I came undone from his touch. He kept his lips on me as I came down from my high and when he parted he was panting, with his lips glistening from my juices. I was panting, desperately trying to catch my breath as he moved to hover over me. His arms supporting his weight on either side of my head. I moved my hands down towards his waist, briefly brushing against his hardening manhood as I worked on the laces. After he caught his breath he pulled his pants down and kicked them aside. 

He looked at me, moving his hand to gently caress my cheek and bring me into a sweet kiss. I broke our kiss with a gasp that turned into a moan as I felt him slowly enter me. My hands moved to his back, my fingers digging into his flesh. Once he was fully inside me he stopped and looked at me, lust and love clouding his eyes. I moved my lips to dance with his as he started to thrust his hips. 

I held onto him tightly, but of us moaning and calling the others name. We were lost in one another. His lips moved to my neck, making me cry out in pleasure as I felt myself get lost in the high that was him. He groaned into the crook of my neck and pulled out of me as he came. 

He laid his head and sweat-damp curls on my breasts. I cradled his head against my chest and ran my fingers through his hair as we caught our breath. 

"I've missed having you in bed with me, like this" I mumble. 

"I've missed it too" he mumbles back, rolling over to his back and pulling me with him so I was laying on his chest. I laughed a little as he smiled at me. 

"Although I think I prefer you like this more," he says as he wraps his left arm around me, pulling me closer to his chest. I chuckled as he smiled at me. 

The next day we were all sat around a table in the meeting room. A raven had arrived, from Tyrion in Dragonstone. It was asking that Jon and I travel to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys and for Jon to bend the knee to her. Sansa didn't want us to go. She knew the danger that it posed and suggested that my sister would keep Jon as a hostage. 

It was a bit of an argument but in the end, we decided to go. I wish it was I who convinced Jon to go, but it was the raven from Sam. The raven that said Dragonstone was full of dragon glass, a material that could kill the White Walkers. 

We packed our things, Davos and Monell were accompanying us on our journey, but I didn't mind. I was excited to see my sister again. But I was also worried, worried for her to meet Jon. What would she think of him? Would his being a King make her think differently? Would I be asked to pick a side, between her or Jon? The dragon or the wolf?

And if I was asked to pick a side...what side should I choose?


	24. Chapter 24

We were aboard Monell's boat, on our way to Dragonstone. It was early in the morning, right before the sunrise. Monell was helping me with sword practice while Jon and the others slept in the cabins below. Monell had given Jon and I the Captain's Quarters, he claims it was because Jon was a King and the honored guest of the Queen, but I knew better. Monell and Jon tried their best to stay away from each other, but when they did meet they would instantly start bickering and arguing with one another. I didn't try to get the two to get along. As long as they weren't constantly at each other's throats, I was content with them not being fond of one another. 

I had left Jon sleeping in the cabin a few hours ago. I was restless and couldn't stand being confined to that bed for much longer. I loved Jon, but the room was cramped and we ended up on top of each other in more ways than one. So I decided to sit on the top deck for a while, that is until Monell came over and suggested we play at swords. So here we were, a few hours later, the waves and the clashing of swords moving over the ship like a grim lullaby. 

"Do you think she'll be angry with me?" I ask as our swords continue to dance. 

"Who?" Monell asked, too focused on his blade movements. 

"My sister, the Queen" I answer as we move around the deck. 

"Oh right. Well, Princess, she was pretty angry you left" he admits with a grunt. 

"But I'm sure she'll be happy to see you," Monell says with a smile. I smile back and quickly disarm him, stumbling a bit as I regain my footing. I was getting better. 

"Nice on Princess, we'll have you back at one hundred percent in no time," he says with a chuckle as he walks over and grabs his sword. 

"Ah, good morning my Lord" Monell calls. I turn around and see Jon behind me, dressed in his leather jerkin with his hair tied up in a knot. I could tell that he was bothered by Monell's attitude and the title Lord didn't help. I asked Monell why he called Jon a Lord a few days ago and he replied with, 

"Your sister is the Queen, and until she weds I have no King but her"

A flattering answer, but I knew better. 

"Morning" Jon called back dryly, walking towards me. 

"Good morning, how did you sleep?" I ask as he stands in front of me. He glanced at Monell and then looked back at me. 

"Fine, better if you would have decided to stay in bed with me instead of play swords with him" he grumbled, gesturing towards Monell. I smiled a bit at that. His actions and attitude lately had reminded me of when we were younger and I was more of a friend to Robb than him. 

"I couldn't sleep. I might as well be productive" I answer, moving the sword in my left hand. 

"How's your leg?" he asks, looking down at my right leg that still wouldn't go completely straight. However, it was less bent than before. 

"A little sore from use but a bit more stable than it has been," I say, looking down at my leg myself. 

"You should rest for a while,"

"Alright, but only for a little" I reply. I didn't want to argue with him, especially when I knew he was only concerned about my well being. I put my sword back in my sheath I move towards the crates by the mast to sit down. 

The moment I sit I'm handed some bread and a skin of water by Monell. 

"Breakfast," he says simply. 

"Thanks" I answer, taking a long drink from the skin of water. 

"So, Lord Snow, are you any good with a blade?" Monell asks in an oddly friendly manner. This couldn't be good. 

"Aye, I believe so" Jon answers. 

"Care to spar?" Monell asks, holding up his blade. 

"It's early maybe we should all have breakfast first befor-"

"Yes, I think that's an excellent idea" Jon answers with a smug smile. I watch as Jon pulls Longclaw out from the sheath on his hip. He swings it around in his left than the right hand. He held it up at the ready, waiting for Monell to approach him. 

Monell grinned and twirled his sword once in his hand before holding it up in front of Jon. The two men circled each other, waiting for the other to strike. Monell lunged forward first, going harder and faster than he ever did with me. Jon easily deflected it but gave Monell an odd look. 

"Just testing to see what I'm up against" Monell explained, the two men continuing to circle one another. Jon lunged forward moving to strike Monell's left side with a downward thrust. Monell blocked it with a clang of metal and looked at Jon in frustration. Jon grinned at the man and they both lunged for each other. Their swords were a blur of metal and when they met they rang out with a deafening clang. 

It looked like they were trying to kill one another. They were moving faster and swinging harder with each step they look. Jon had the strength, that much was obvious, but Monell was quicker. Jon was quick too, but not enough. Not quick enough to strike him, but quick enough to block and dodge the incoming blows. 

They locked swords, panting in each other's faces. They were both glaring at one another as they stared each other down. There was a fire in Monell's eyes, but a cold fury was lurking in Jon's. They pushed off one another and began to circle once more. 

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to kill me," Monell said in a would-be joking manner. Jon smirked at him. 

"Who's to say I'm not?" he answered, stepping forward and swinging his blade from the bottom up. Monell stumbled backward, regaining his footing but not quick enough. By the time Monell was balanced Jon had hit his sword out of his hand, sending it sliding against the deck to stop by my feet. 

Jon aimed his sword for Monell's throat, making Monell hold up his hands in surrender. 

"I yield," Monell said, a bit quietly. Jon lowered his sword and stepped back from him. He turned to look at me with a smile on his face. He walked over to a nearby sack and pulled out some bread. Jon came to sit beside me as Monell picked up his blade in silence. The tension was thick as Monell walked over to the helm of the ship and roughly tossed his sword aside. 

"I think you've wounded his pride" I mumble, glancing at Monell as I take a bite of bread. 

"Better his pride than his hand" Jon mumbles back, taking a bite of bread himself. 

After our small breakfast, I followed Jon back down to the cabin. We would be at Dragonstone within the hour and we both had to be ready. He sat at his desk looking at some scrolls or a map of Dragonstone perhaps, while I changed into the red silk dress Monell had brought for me. It was my favorite dress and it helped alleviate the heat that radiated from my skin. There wasn't any snow down here, meaning my heat kept me warmer than I needed. 

"That's a thin dress you've got on" 

I look up and see Jon's eyes roaming over my body.

"I'm warm, remember? I don't need very many layers. Why? Don't you like it?" I ask looking down at the flowing silk material. I hear the chair creak as he gets up and walks over to me. 

"I like it, maybe a little too much" he mumbles, his eyes continuing to shamelessly roam over the front of my body. I laugh a little as he says that. He leans down and places a soft, long kiss on my lips. 

He places his hands on my hips once he breaks away, causing me to put my hands on his chest. 

"I'm always wanted to see you in a pretty dress" he admits, making me chuckle. 

"Is it only because I hated them so much as a child?" I ask, making him smile. 

"Yes, but I also want to tear you out of one," he tells me with a soft smile. I feel the heat rising to my cheeks as he moves down and connects our lips. My hands move up and wrap around the back of his neck while he moves them around my waist and pulls me towards his hips. 

I get lost in his touch and allow him to lift me up so my legs wrapped around his waist. I lost myself in his lips and waited to feel the bed underneath me, but instead, I was set on the large oak desk he had been working on earlier. I broke away from the kiss to ask what he was doing, but the moment his lips left mine they moved to my neck to leave harsh kisses and bites. 

"If you bite my neck much harder you're gonna leave marks" I moan, using my arms to keep me propped up on the table. After I say that he gives a particularly harsh nibble to my neck, which makes me cry out in surprise. He immediately pulls back to look at me.

"Did I hurt you?" he asks. 

"No, you just surprised me is all. But what's going on? You're never this rough" I say, sitting up a bit more on the desk to look at him. He takes a step back with a sigh but says nothing. 

"It's Monell isn't it?" I ask. I see him falter a bit and open his mouth to reply but ends up saying nothing. 

"Why are you so jealous of him?" I ask, reaching forward to grab his hands. 

"He acts like he owns you!" Jon snaps, the anger these past couple days have caused him finally coming to the surface. 

"What?" I ask, a bit taken back by the statement. 

"The way he acts whenever you're around him. He gets this look in his eyes and he knows what you need before you need it. He worships the ground you walk on" Jon grumbles in anger. 

"He doesn't worship me"

"Whatever it is he's doing, he's pulling you away from me," Jon says as I hold his hands. 

"Nothing could ever pull me away from you, do you hear me? Nothing" I say, standing up before him to look into his chocolate eyes. He smiles at me.

"I love you," he says softly. I lean up and kiss him. 

"I love you too," I say in reply, but as soon as the words leave my mouth the horn blows signaling land. 

We go above deck as everyone is rushing around to get the rowboats ready. I move to grab my sword off the crate but Monell beats me too it. 

"Don't worry Princess, I've got it" he tells me with a smile. 

"Thank you," I say, following the others down off the ride of the ship into the rowboats. I sit in the center as the men begin rowing the boat ashore. I take in the giant castle from afar and feel my heart skip in my chest. I was born here...this was the home of my ancestors. 

Once the boat was dragged ashore Jon came over and lifted me out of the boat by my waist. My bare feet hit the sand and my silver hair was flying around in the wind. I could smell the salty sea and the air felt so fresh and clean. It felt like I was coming home. The wet sand hissed from the heat under my feet. 

I led the party forward, towards Tyrion and Missandei along with some Dothraki blood riders. 

"Princess, I'm glad to see you are well," Tyrion says as I approach him, bowing before me. Missandei and the blood riders bow before me as well. 

"Same goes for you, I trust all is well with my sister?" I ask. He nods. 

"Why don't you go up and join her while the rest of us chat" Tyrion suggests. 

"That's alright, I can speak to her after," I tell him with a smile. He smiles back and then turns to address Jon. 

"The bastard of Winterfell" 

"The dwarf of Casterly Rock" Jon answers. 

I lead the party up the stairs as Jon and Tyrion talk. Once we're halfway up the stairs, Drogon and Visenya swoop down, making everyone else duck aside from myself and Tyrion. I turn around and see Jon's look of surprise of fear. 

"Don't worry, they do that. And no, you do not get used to it, unless you are a Targaryen apparently" Tyrion says as we continue up the steps. The men continue to talk as I walk forward with Missandei beside me. 

"How is she?" I ask. 

"Stressed, about you mostly. But she seems very happy to be here your grace" Missandei tells me. 

"That's good, I'm glad she's happy" I reply as we approach the doors of the Great Hall. The doors are opened by a couple of Unsullied guards and there across the room sits my sister. 

She sat on a throne made of rock that was jagged and pointed towards the right. Her dress was a dark grey and her hair was pulled back in the front into a braid while the rest was left down, the same way I had my hair. Her hands were folded in her lap and she smiled when I approached her. Jon and Ser Davos stayed on the opposite side of the room while I stood before my sister and curtsied before her. 

"It's good to see you," I told her when I stood back up straight, wobbling a bit on my right leg. She smiled.

"It's wonderful to see you too," she said quietly as I turned around and stood on her right side. 

"This is Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regent of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons" Missandei said introducing my sister. 

"And here beside her is Rhaella of the House Targaryen, the Second of Her Name, The Unburnt, Princess of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Princess of Meereen, Queen of Dragons, Breaker of Chains and the Holder of the Dragon's Flame" Missandei said, introducing me in turn. Jon gave me an odd look from across the room that almost made me blush. We both weren't ones for titles and I can only imagine how he felt hearing all of mine. 

"This is Jon Snow, he's King in the North" Ser Davos said simply. 

"Thank you, my Lord, for keeping my sister safe in the time we were apart and for making the journey to Dragonstone," Danearys said. 

"Forgive me your grace but perhaps you didn't hear me, Jon Snow is a King," Davos said a bit awkwardly.

"There hasn't been a King in the North ever since Torren Stark bent the knee to Aegon the Conqueror and swore his oath. An oath that lasts in perpetuity. Likewise, my Lord, I would ask you to bend the knee today and renew the vow your fathers once made to mine" she asks kindly in her Queenly voice. Jon glances and me and I do my best to keep my face neutral and to keep quiet. This was between my sister and Jon, I shouldn't get involved. 

"I cannot your Grace" Jon answers. I can see Dany tense up beside me.

"Are you outwardly breaking faith my Lord?" she asks, her voice a bit harsher than before.

"It was your father the Mad King who burnt my grandfather and uncle alive, so I do not think that I was the first one to break the faith" 

"I'm sorry. I understand that my father's actions weren't...wise but I ask that you do not punish a daughter for the crimes of her father" Dany says rising from her seat and moving to stand before Jon. 

"Let us renew the historic allegiance between Targaryen and Stark" she offers. 

" I agree with you that children should not be punished for their parent's crimes, but likewise I should not be held to my ancestor's oaths. I have come back not only to return your sister to you but because we need your help and you need ours" Jon states.

"I have three dragons and Dothraki screamers who have pledged their lives and services to me. What help do I need from you in this war?" Dany states. 

"The fighting between the Great Houses, Targaryen, Lannister, Stark, we're all just children squabbling over chess pieces. The army of the dead is our true enemy" 

Dany turns to look at me with a skeptical look.

"Have you witnessed this?" she asks me quietly.

"No, but he is an honest man and I can vouch for his words" I reply.

"We need to turn our forces North to the Wall and prepare for the fight that is to come" Jon urges. Danearys stays quiet for a moment. 

"Did you know that your father and his best friend sent assassins to kill me as a baby? That when my sister needed help your father turned his back on her? I myself have been targeted by assassins, enslaved, and defiled. But it was me and my faith in myself that kept me going, not the gods. It was said that dragons no longer existed and then my children were born. The Dothraki have never crossed the Narrow Sea but they did for me. I am destined to rule" 

"You'll be ruling over a graveyard if the army of the dead is not defeated" Jon retorts. 

"What would you have us do? We cannot split our forces" Tyrion chips in.

"Jon Snow has won the support of the wildling people, it was said that could never be done. He has fought the White Walkers and he took a knife in the heart for-" Jon quickly nudged him to cut Davos off.

"But it won't matter who bends the knee to who if we don't put aside our common enemies and focus on the threat beyond the wall. If we don't focus on the undead we'll all die" Davos says finishing his statement. 

"But why not bend the knee? We have dragons, we can become allies and help one another" Tyrion argues. 

"She is not my Queen" Jon answers.

"You are in open rebellion by claiming yourself King in the North" she snaps at him. But everyone goes silent as Varys walks over to Dany and whispers in her ear. She takes a moment before she speaks again.

"Missandei, please give Lord Jon and his companions food and lodging" she states. She mutters something in Dothraki to the soldiers and they walk away. She begins walking back towards me and what I assume is the meeting room. 

"Am I your prisoner?" Jon calls, annoyance in his voice.

"Not yet," Dany says in reply. 

"For now, you can stay until we reach an agreement" she says calmly and proceeds to walk into the next room. I watch as Jon, Ser Davos and some other Northmen follow Missandei to their chambers. Once they leave Monell walks towards me. 

"Well that went splendidly" he mumbles. I don't say anything. 

"Why didn't you stick up for your King?" he asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he turned to face me. 

"This was business and politics. There's no room for emotions or feelings. Anything I would have said in defense would be taken as such. I am the Princess here, and I have to start behaving as such" I answer. He nods.

"Where's Myra? I had hoped to see her on my return" I ask. 

"She sailed off with her brother and sister to transport the sands to Dorne" he says simply. I give him a confused look. 

"She's a Greyjoy, the eldest apparently. She went with Theon and Yara I believe" he says. I can feel my eyes widen at the news. Theon Greyjoy? He was still alive after all these years? I nod in response and turn to follow my sister into the next chamber. She was across the room standing by a balcony, looking out over the cliff sides and ocean. In between her and me as a large table, cut and painted to an exactly likeness of Westeros. 

"That's a beautiful table" I remark, making her turn around to look at me. She smiles and walks towards me, instantly pulling me into hug. I hug her back tightly. I had missed this, missed being her little sister. The nights we spent talking while she braided or brushed my hair. 

"Come, we can talk in your chambers" she says, walking out of the meeting room. I follow her down the rocky hall and into one of the rooms. Inside was a large bed, vanity, table and across from the door was a large balcony with white silk curtains. 

"Dany, it's beautiful, how did you do all this?" I ask, walking slowly inside. 

"Well I had a little help. Do you like it?" she asks as I turn to face her. 

"I love it! Thank you!" I tell her with a grin as I take a seat on the bed. She smiles and moves to sit next to me. 

"So tell me what happened. I want to know everything" she said as she turned to look at me. 

"Well, the night you left, in Meereen, I had a vision. It was about Jon, he was...injured in some way" I mumble trailing off. I wasn't quite sure how to phrase or explain any of this. 

"Okay, but why would you drop everything and leave for this man?" she asks curiously. I give an awkward smile. I had never mentioned Jon, before. The only people who knew about him were Myra, Tyrion and Varys. But even then they didn't know how deep our love ran, or our full story. 

"Because I love him...even after all those years apart and everything I've been through" I answer. She smiles. 

"Is he...Hope's father?" she asks. I slowly nod. She nods in return and stays quiet for a moment. 

"Why didn't you defend him? Earlier in the Great Hall?" she says. 

"How could I? You're my sister, my family"

"But you love this man"

"Yes, I do. But I love you too. So in all further matters concerning Jon I've decided to stay neutral" I tell her taking a deep breath. 

"Alright, I can respect that" she says a bit stiffly. 

"So what else happened?" she asks me curiously. So I started to tell her. 

Jon was less than thrilled about his new circumstances. Upon their arrival they had taken their boats and their weapons, save for Monell and his crew and her. Daenearys Targaryen was a very stubborn woman, one of the most stubborn women he's ever met, second only to her sister. He was starting to regret coming here. 

Jon was walking around the large grassy hill, examining Dragonstone for the small island that it was. He was trapped. Jon stood on the hill, with the wind blowing through his cape when Tyrion Lannister approached. 

"Lovely view" Tyrion called out as he walked over Jon. 

"For a prison it is" Jon retorted as Tyrion moved to stand by his side. 

"You're not a prisoner"

"I am. I have no weapons, no boats to leave. I shouldn't have come here, not while the White Walkers and the Night King is still out there" Jon remarks. 

"So then why did you?" Tyrion asks. 

"You know why" Jon answered, turning to look at the little man. 

"Ah yes, to return the Princess to her sister" Tyrion says with a nod. Jon says nothing and turns back to look out over the ocean. 

"When you're allowed to leave, do you think she'll go with you?" Tyrion asks curiously. 

"No, she won't. And I wouldn't ask her to. I saw how happy she was, to be here and to see her sister again. I wouldn't ask her to give that up" 

"Not to mention that her sister the Queen doesn't seem to like you. You oppose her rule and if her sister leaves to be with you, well...I expect that the dragons would be making an appearance at Winterfell" Tyrion adds on. Jon takes a heavy breath. It wasn't something he wanted to think about. 

"You know I received a raven at King's Landing from Commander Mormont. He said he was attacked by a while walker in his sleep, I trust you know about this?" Tyrion asks turning to look at Jon. Jon nods in response. 

"I trust Commander Mormont, and I trust you, but I don't think I completely believe you" Tyrion says, making Jon sigh. 

"How can I convince people to believe in things they don't believe to exist?" Jon asks, feeling frustrated. 

"With time perhaps, but you'll figure it out"

"But I can't convince anyone from this rock. I was a fool to come here. Everyone advised me not to, well almost everyone" 

Tyrion chuckles at that. 

"The Mad King's daughters are not their father. Daenearys has protected people from monsters just as her sister has. You should ask the servants what they think of her" Tyrion suggests. 

"If there is anything I can do to help"

"Actually there might be something. It's said that there's dragonglass here. I would like to mine it and turn it into weapons. It's one of the few things that can fight against the White Walkers" 

"I'll see what I can do" Tyrion says, walking back towards the castle, leaving Jon to look out over the vast ocean. 

Dany and I were in the meeting room with the large painted table talking stragedy. It was the first time I felt useful in months. She told me about what Vary's had told her in the Great Hall. That Euron Greyjoy had destroyed the fleet and captured Yara, along with the Sand mother and daughter. We had lost two of our allies. 

Tyrion entered as I was suggesting we mobilize our army. 

"Forgive my Queen, Princess, but I have some matters that need to be discussed" Tyrion says as he enters. 

"What sort of matters?" I ask as we all move to sit around the table. 

"Our newest guest" he says, making me stiffen. 

"What of him?" Dany asks. 

"He has requested to mine here for dragonglass and I think we should let him" Tyrion says, glancing at me before turning to look at my sister. 

"Why should we give him anything?" Dany asks, anger lacing her voice. 

"We need this allegiance to work and this would be a good way to court it. Let's give him this so we can focus on Casterly Rock" he argues.

"Casterly Rock?" I ask. 

"It's a strong hold and it will show that Cersei is not invulnerable" Tyrion quickly explains. She sighs and turns toward me. 

"Alright, he can mine here. We'll give him men and equipment. Rhaella would you care to tell him the news?" she asks. I rise to my feet.

"Of course" I answer, turning to leave the room. 

Once Rhaella left the chamber Daenearys turned towards Tyrion. 

"What do you make of this man?" she asks him, leaning back in her seat. 

"He seems to be an honest man, he is only concerned about the well being of his people"

"I meant in regards to her" 

"It still applies. I believe he has good intentions" Tyrion says, leaning back in his chair as well. 

"That thing Ser Davos was about to say in the throne room, about him taking a knife in the heart, what do you suppose he means by that?" Daenearys asks thoughtfully.

"I'm sure it was only an exaggeration" 

"But you trust him? Not only as a potential ally but as my sisters lover?" She asks.

"I do, and I think that it will work for our advantage. Your sister and Jon Snow have a connection, that much is clear. Perhaps we can use that connection to ensure our alliance with the North?" Tyrion suggests. 

"How?" Daenarys asks. 

I made my way outside, deciding I would take a detour before heading to Jon's chambers. I walked towards the center of an empty field, watching the dragons flying over. I stood still for a moment and watched as Visenya flew down and landed in front of me. I smiled and approached her once she landed, placing my hand on her snout and calling heat into my palm.

"Hello old friend, did you miss me?" I ask in High Valerian. She moves her nose forward so my hand would go further up her snout. I stood their with her for a while, until she decided to take off and go join her brothers in flight. I stood there and watch them. Jon walked over from behind me and stood by my side. We stood in silence for a few moments, until I began to speak. 

"Beautiful aren't they? My sister named Viserion and Rhaegal after our brothers, and Drogon after her husband" I explain. 

"And the fourth one?" he asks. 

"I named her Visenya, after our ancestors...and for our daughter" I answer. I turn to face him as he turns to face me. 

"You've never talked about her" Jon says, his voice soft and a little sad. 

"I've never wanted to...but I owe you that, and her" I mumble. 

"Did you give her a name?" he asks gently. My hands start to shake a little as I think back on that time. 

"Hope...I named her Hope. She was a great comfort to me in King's Landing and...she gave that to me. She gave me hope" I explain, my voice starting to shake. I smile at him sadly. 

"She was beautiful...so beautiful. She had your curls, and your eyes" I say, fighting off the tears that were welling up in my eyes. He said nothing, but I didn't need him to. I could see the pain on his face and I knew he would blame himself for it. 

"We'll give you men, and whatever equipment you require to begin mining the dragonglass." I say, turning to look at the dragons, turning so he wouldn't see my tears. 

"Do you believe in the Night King and White Walkers?" he asks. 

"I believe anything's possible" I mumble back. 

"When we return to Winterfell, we'll figure out a way to stop them. I am sure of that" I mumble. He stays quiet for a moment and I turn to face him. 

"You're not going to come back with me"

"What?"

"I know that when the time comes for me to go back, you won't come with me" he says with a sad smile. I stay quiet. 

"I saw how you two were today, in the throne room. She was so happy to have you back and you. I saw how happy you were to see her again. I couldn't ask you to leave that"

"So don't ask me. I swore I would never leave your side"

"And I swore that I would never leave yours...but I can't help the North if I'm here, and you can't help your sister if you're there" 

"You can't expect me to just let you go...not unless I come with you" I say, feeling like the girl I was at Winterfell. This was our first departure all over again, only this time we weren't children. 

"You have to..." 

"Don't you dare tell me what I have to do! I'm not doing this again. I'm not leaving you again" I snap. We may not have been children but I was acting like one. 

"Do you have any idea the hells you've put me through? What it's like being separated from you? You chose to leave me that day in Winterfell, and I let you because I knew that's what had to be. But you don't have to leave me now...and I don't have to let you go" I continue. 

"What should we do then? Run off together? Sail across the Narrow Sea? I have a duty, we have a duty. The great war is coming-"

"So let it come! Let it come and let me be fighting at your side when it does! You're not going to do this to me again Jon Snow. King or not" I say, feeling the fire rising up in my chest. He smiles at me and steps closer to me. 

"Do you think a day will go by without us fighting?" he asks with a chuckle. I huff out a breath of annoyance as he raises his hand to cup my cheek. 

"We'll figure this out" he mumbles, pushing some hair behind my ear. I smile slightly at the action and lean into his touch. He drops his hand and looks deeply into my eyes. 

"Leaving you at that crossroads was the hardest thing I've ever done, and maybe the biggest mistake I've ever made. A mistake I don't plan to repeat" 

"Good"


	25. Chapter 25

I was laying in the large bronze tub in front of the fireplace. The water was boiling hot and had steam rising from the top. Essi was finishing washing my hair and pulling it up into a bun, while Feqi was turning down my bed and laid out my night shift next to some towels. They were young Dothraki girls who had asked if they could serve as my handmaidens when I joined my sister in Qarth and they have served me ever since. 

I enjoyed their company most of the time. They were sweet innocent beings who liked to talk about boys and clothes and other trivial things. It was a welcomed break from the normal strategies and politics I had to deal with. 

There was a knock on the door and Feqi walked over to pull it open.

"The handsome man is here to see you," Feqi said in Dothraki with a chuckle. 

"I knew he would come to you tonight," Essi told me with a slight giggle herself. 

"Let him in," I said with a smile. 

Essi stood up while I turned in the tub as Jon entered

"He only smiles when he sees her, have you noticed?" Essis says to Feqi, making them both giggle.

"Alright that's enough, you can leave us," I tell them with a knowing smile, watching as the two teenage girls left, whispering and smiling.

"You can speak Dothraki?" he asks moving towards me with a soft look in his eyes.

"Yes, and High Valerian" I answer. He smiles and grabs the chair from my vanity, taking a seat on my right. He glances at the water and then back up at me. 

"How is it you can sit in a boiling tub of water and not even break a sweat?" he asks with a playful smile. 

"It's in my blood I suppose" I sit up a bit in the tub. My left-hand moves to the back of my right shoulder, trying to rub out the tension I felt on a daily basis. 

"Did you pull a muscle?"

"No, there's just tension in my shoulders. My sister says its the price we pay as rulers. We carry the people with us always" I answer with a smile. A small smile graces his lips and his moves the chair so he's seated behind me. The moment his hands touch my shoulders I flinch and gasp at his touch. 

"Your hands are freezing" I mumble, mentally making sure my skin wasn't hot enough to burn him. He chuckles at that and starts using his thumbs to massage out the tension knots in my shoulders. His hands were still a bit cold but it was a pleasant feeling. 

"Better?" he asks, continuing to rub my shoulders, his hands moving closer to my neck with each circular motion. 

"Mmm much better," I say with a slight moan to my voice. I tilt my head to the right as his hand works in the left crook of my neck. I smile as I feel his lips on my left shoulder, slowly moving up my neck. I hummed at the feeling of his beard lightly scratching against my skin and the softness of his lips on my neck. 

I turned around in the tub and cupped his cheeks with my hands, connecting our lips in a soft kiss. His hand moved to the back of my neck. His fingers entwining in my hair and lightly pulling, making my head tilt up as he lightly bit my lower lip. I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer. His hands moved lower, dipping into the water towards my waist. I stood up in the tub, keeping our lips connected. He pulled me closer to him, my dripping wet body dampening his clothes but he didn't seem to care. He lifted me out of the tub and moved us toward the bed. 

I was laying with my head on Jon's bare chest, lightly running my fingers up and down his chest, occasionally tracing over his scars. He had his left arm wrapped around me with his thumb lightly moving across my hip. His chin was barely grazing the top of my head.

"What do you think of my sister?" I ask softly.

"She seems like a very capable woman" he answers a bit stiffly. I sit up a little and turn to face him. He pushes back some of my loose hair as I do. 

"She is, but that doesn't answer my question" He gives a quick smile and moves his hand to my cheek, running his thumb over my skin. 

"I think she's a bit stubborn, maybe even more so than you are. I think she lives up to the name of a conqueror" he answers.

"It sounds like you aren't very fond of her" 

"She expects me to bend the knee to her solely because it is her birthright. I can't give her what she wants. I think I would be of little use to her" he mumbles. 

"It's a good thing you're of much use to me" I reply with a smile, leaning over to place a quick kiss on his lips. He smiles and pulls me in for another kiss. I lay back down, putting my head back on his chest, smiling as he played with my hair. 

"I found something, down in the caves" 

"What?" 

"Cave paintings. Of the Children of the Forest and the First Men. There was a painting of the Night King, and it looked like they were fighting him together" 

"You should show them to my sister. It'll help you convince her and maybe help you seal an alliance without having to sacrifice the North to do it" I suggest. 

"When did you get so smart?" he asked with a teasing tone in his voice. 

"King's Landing has that effect on people" 

Jon stood at the mouth of the cave with a torch in his hand, waiting. He had summoned Daenerys and Rhaella to the cave where he was mining so he could show them what he'd found inside. He was a bit anxious about this interaction. He was hoping that what he found would persuade Daenerys to rally to his side in the fight against the Night King and his army like Rhaella had suggested. 

Jon tried his best not to smile as he saw them approaching, but he didn't have to try for long as he only saw one white-haired woman approach. Daenerys stood in front of him as regal as ever with Missandei standing a step behind her. 

"There was something you wished to show me?" she asks. Jon falters for a moment. 

"My sister will be joining us later, she has some other matters to attend to" Daenerys answers. 

"Of course Your Grace, if you'll follow me" Jon replies, turning with his torch in hand and entering the cave. 

He showed Daenerys the dragonglass they had been mining and proceeded to take her deeper into the cave, towards the paintings he had found. 

She stood next to him as he held up the torch and illuminated the cave paintings, with arcane symbols and drawings of what looked like the Children of the Forest. 

"I can't believe it. The Children of the Forest stood here thousands and thousands of years ago...right where we're standing now. Long before mankind ever arrived in Westeros" Daenerys mumbles, her eyes roaming over the ancient paintings. 

"Actually, that's not exactly true," Jon says, walking over to another chamber within the cave. Daenerys follows after him, a bit of confusion showing over her features. 

He shows her a crude drawing of the Children and the First Men. 

"Were they fighting one another?" Daenerys asks thoughtfully.

"Look at this" Jon says, moving to hold his torch up to another section of the cave wall. The light revealed a drawing of a Child of the Forest and a First man together facing a man with blue eyes. 

"The Children of the Forest and the First Men only managed to drive off the White Walkers because they chose to fight together to save themselves from extinction. A choice that we have now" Jon says, turning to face Daenerys. 

"I will fight for you and the North, when you bend the knee" she replies, turning to face him. 

"The North will never accept a Southern ruler. Not after everything that's happened" Jon argues. 

"They will if their King does" she retorts. 

"If you brought me down here to suggest that I should ally with you because these White-Walkers are such a world-ending threat then the North should submit to me. Your survival should outweigh your pride" she continues. 

"Pride has nothing to do with this. This is about preparing ourselves for the greatest threat we'll ever face" 

"I think you mean the greatest threat you'll ever face" she spits back. 

"Do you have any compassion? Do you care about the thousands of lives that'll die because of your stubborn pride?" Jon snaps back. 

"Watch your tongue. You're a guest here, but that can change in a heartbeat" 

"I'm already a prisoner here. You took our boats and our weapons, what more could you take?" he asks with an airy breath.

"My sister," she says calmly. Jon can feel his heart skip a beat for a moment before realizing how much of an empty threat it truly was. 

They exit the cave in silence and are approached by Tyrion and Varys. Both of their faces betrayed a look of worry. 

"What is it?" Daenerys asked. 

"The Unsullied have succeeded in taking Casterly Rock," Tyrion said. 

"Good" 

"There has been a recent set back in our plans. It turns out that the Rock was only a feint. They didn't even bother to defend it. Instead, they were marching south for a surprise attack on Highgarden. Which they were successful in" Varys explains. 

The anger on Daenerys' features was evident. She could barely keep her anger at bay.

"All of my allies are gone for a castle with no supplies. It was your cautious strategy that lost Dorne, the Iron Islands and now The Reach!"

"We still have the Unsullied and three dragons" Tyrion replies in a calm manner. 

"This is your fault! You wanted to use a light hand against the Lannisters because they're your people!" 

"We still have enough ships to get the Dothraki from Dragonstone to the mainland. You still have the single largest army in all of Westeros"

"Which are useless if I can't feed them. Which is what The Reach was for. I have had enough of clever plans. I will take my Dothraki and my three dragons to the Red Keep and I will burn it to the ground with everyone inside" she snaps coolly, beginning to walk up towards the castle. 

"Perhaps I should leave," Jon says as they all walk after her. 

"No. Stay. What would you have me do?" she asks. 

"You've brought dragons back. You've abolished the slave trade. You've proven you can do things a different way. But if you use your dragons to melt castles and burn down cities you'll be no different than any of the other tyrant Targaryens who came before you" he says. She takes a deep agitated breath before continuing her trek back up to the castle. 

I was up on the cliff tops. The wind was blowing through my hair which I kept loose today. I was dressed in trousers and a shirt today. Even after all this time playing the part of a princess, I was more comfortable in my trousers than skirts. I was watching the dragons flying about the island, with Monell by my side. 

"So what is it like flying one of those?" he asks, making me chuckle. 

"Its the most amazing feeling there is. The wind through your hair, the freedom you get" I answer, turning to look at him. He was smiling at me, and there was this look in his eyes. The look Jon has whenever he looks at me. 

"You shouldn't look at me like that," I say turning back to look at the dragons. 

"Like what?" 

"You know what"

"Like I'm in love with you? Rhaella, you know how I feel about you. We've spent years together, and now this...this boy comes along and you just expect me to drop it all?" he asks, a bit of anger in his voice. 

"I know that what we had was...special. We were in love, but things have changed" 

"What's changed? All I know is that you left me in the middle of the night, babbling nonsense. You left and swore you would send word when you arrived. You didn't. We all thought you were dead. I thought you were dead. Next thing I know I'm sailing halfway around the world to find you and what do I find? You, in the arms of another man, looking at me like you forgot who I was" he snaps, pain lacing every syllable. 

"I'm sorry I never intended-"

"No, it's exactly what you intended. You knew who you were running to when you left and you didn't even care" he says moving to stand in front of me so he was only inches away from me. 

"Of course I cared. I've always cared. I love you, but not like you want me to. Not the way I used to" I say, trying my best to explain my feelings to him. 

"Why? Because of some boy, you knew years ago? He left you Rhaella. He left you while I've been here for you for the past six years" he argues. 

"He had no choice...I hated him for what he did, but I understood it"

"You understand? You love him but you understand why he left you?" 

"He did it to save my life, Monell. I couldn't handle the cold much longer and Lord Eddard was going to ride south with his daughters. He arranged for me to go with him to save my life. But Jon knew I would never leave when there was a chance for us to be together. I was betrothed to his brother, dying from the cold of the North and I didn't care. I wanted him and I still thought that there was a chance for us. He knew better, so he left for the wall with his uncle Benjen and that was that" 

"Why didn't he just go south with you?" 

"He was Lord Eddard's bastard. The King and Queen would never allow it. Besides my betrothal to Robb made things more complicated. There couldn't be any question about my devotion to the King and the betrothal he set up. If there was I could be killed, all because of my last name" 

"It doesn't deny the fact that he left you"

"Yes, he did...and I left him when I escaped King's Landing to go join my sister. When I got on your boat" I say, feeling my anger start to rise.

"Are we interrupting something?" 

Monell quickly stepped away from me and bowed at my sister as she approached, with Jon walking behind her. 

"No, the Captain was just leaving," I say with a forced smile. Monell turns to face and gives a low bow before he walks away. 

"Right, well no doubt you've heard about Casterly Rock," she says. 

"Yes, I've heard. Are you planning on retaliating?" I ask, crossing my arms behind my back. 

"Yes, I'm going to take the Dothraki and the dragons and go turn the war to our side" she simply states. I nod along to her words. 

"I'll get the Dothraki ready and I'll meet you near the Reach" I reply. She nods and turns to walk back towards the castle. 

"You can't be serious," Jon says taking a step towards me. I give him an odd look. 

"You're still injured. You could be killed going out there" he says giving me a hard look. 

"I'll be on Visenya. Surrounded by hundreds of thousands of Dothraki. I'll be fine" 

"What happened to never leaving my side? If you're going to go at least let me come with you" he asks, his eyes moving to a look of worry. 

"This is something I have to do one my own. I've done this plenty of times before, it's not like this is my first battle" I say with a smile, moving to stand in front of him. 

"And if you go, and you get hurt or killed?" 

"This is war Jon...are you telling me you'll never risk your life again or fighting in another battle?" I ask. He stays silent. I raise my hand up to cup his cheek. 

"I promise, I will come back to you," I say softly. I place a soft kiss on his lips and allow him to hold me tightly through the kiss. When we break away he rests his forehead on mine. 

"Hurry back...don't do anything stupid" he mumbles, making me laugh. 

"I'll try my best" I answer, breaking away from his embrace and walking towards the empty field. I raise my fingers to my lips and let out a loud piercing whistle. Within moments Visenya lands on the grassy field in front of me. I climb onto her back and she takes to the sky. 

I hovered over the field where the Dothraki were encamped and getting ready to take the boats to the mainland. Visenya landed on top of a cliff overlooking the Dothraki. We flew over the Dothraki as they sailed across the sea. They followed me towards the Reach, where I would meet up with my sister. We waited at the top of a hillside, hidden from view. I looked up at the sky and saw the shadows of my sister's dragons circling overhead. 

"Khalasar! Are you prepared to fight for your Khaleesi?!" I shouted in Dothraki. The blood riders shouted and howled behind me. 

"Let's go kill some soldiers!" I screamed and they screamed back as we descended down the hill. Visenya glided through the air down the hill where my sister and Drogon were already burning the wagons. Visenya started burning wagons down on the opposite side of Drogon. There were arrows whizzing past me and Visenya, but when I looked up to see how my sister was doing, there were gigantic arrows, meant for killing dragons, flying towards her. She was dodging them thankfully. 

Visenya and I continued on burning everything she could. She landed on the ground and started burning soldiers at close range until we heard a screech. I turned to look over my shoulder on Visenya and saw Dany and Drogon, falling to the earth. 

I got Visenya to turn around and we were about to start racing towards her until I was hit. I let out a grunt of a scream as I was hit by an arrow in the back of my left shoulder. The force of the hit sent me falling off of Visenya. I landed on my stomach. I slowly sat up and looked behind me, seeing a man in black leathers with messy black hair holding a bow. I used my right hand to rip the arrow out of my shoulder while Visenya moved closer to me so she was protecting me with her wings. 

I got up to my feet and pulled out my sword. What few soldiers were left, starting running towards me. Visenya burned and fought off most of the men, but the ones that did get through I cut down with my sword. The pain was bad, but not bad enough to hamper my fighting skills. 

I made it back onto the back of Visenya. I clutched my soldier in pain as Visenya took to the air and flew over to the top of the hill. She landed next to the small group that was gathered at the top, including Tyrion and Varys. 

"I knew this would happen!" Tyrion says in a groan of frustration as I slowly make my way off of Visenya and towards the group. 

"It's really only a little scratch," I say as I look over at my wound. My shoulder and leathers were covered in blood, my blood. The ends of my silver hair that I had braided were covered in blood too. 

"You should head back to Dragonstone, your sister can handle herself from here" Tyrion advises, continuing to look me over. 

"It's okay, I'll be able to manage" 

"With respect your Grace, your wound needs to be tended to or else it could get infected. It is in everyone's best interest that you remain in good health so I think it would be best if you went back to Dragonstone" Varys says, eyeing my wound with a critical eye. I turn around and see Dany on the back of Drogon, flying around with the Dothraki cheering. 

"Okay, I'll go back to Dragonstone" I reply. I make my way back over to Visenya and climb onto her back haphazardly. She takes off back for Dragonstone and within an hour she lands on the field, in front of Jon. So much for keeping my wound a secret. I watch as Jon slowly raising his hand up towards Visenya's nose. She moves her nose forward and nuzzles into his hand. Jon's eyes go wide with fear but he manages to stay calm during the encounter. 

I slide off of Visenya and move to stand before Jon as she flies away. Jon looks at me with wide eyes as he takes in my appearance. 

"What the hell happened?" He asks. 

"Someone got lucky," I say with a smile. But he gives me a hard look, the Stark look. 

"We need to get that taken care of," he says, beginning to walk back towards the castle. I walk by his side as we make our way towards my chamber. 

Essi and Feqi were inside and their eyes went wide when they looked at me, but their wide eyes turned into smiles. 

"We'll have to add another braid to her hair when we do it Feqi," Essi said with a smile. I smile back at that. 

"Essi, Feqi, can you get a bowl of water please and some clean clothes?" I ask. They both smile and quickly walk out of the room. I start fiddling with my laces but Jon takes off his gloves and cloak and throws them on the bed, opting to deal with my laces himself. 

"You don't have to do this" I mumble as he helps me take off my leathers and then my bloodied shirt. 

"What kind of man would I be if I didn't help you with this sort of thing?" he asks with a smile, looking over my wound. 

"Isn't it traditionally the woman's job to look after the man?" I ask with a teasing smile. He chuckles as my handmaids walk back in with a bowl of water, clean clothes, and cloths. They set the things next to me on the bed and left my chamber. Jon grabbed one of the cloths and set it in the bowl of water. 

"Here, turn around," he says holding up the wet cloth. I turn so my back is facing him. I cringe as he starts cleaning the area around my wound. I turn around to face him as he starts cleaning the wound on the other side of my body. Once he finishes, he wraps a clean strip of cloth around my upper waist and left shoulder.

"Thank you" I mumble as he finishes his work. He smiles at me as he moves the bowl aside. 

"My friend Sam was usually the one doing this. I haven't patched anyone up before that wasn't myself" 

"Well, you're very good at it," I say, looking over at my freshly patched up shoulder. I strip off the rest of my clothes and pull on a white dress Essi and Feqi had brought for me. I turn back to face Jon as he looks at me, releasing a deep sigh.

"What is it?" 

"If that arrow was a couple of inches off, it would have gone right through your heart," he says. I move forward to stand between his legs and I take his hands in mine. 

"But it wasn't. I'm okay" I tell him with a smile. Trying to ease his worried look. 

"I know, I was just worried is all" he mumbles in reply. 

"I promise, the next battle, we'll fight together"


	26. Chapter 26

I stood out on the balcony in my chambers, the sea breeze blowing through my hair as Tyrion and Varys stood behind me. They were informing me about what happened after the battle, about what Dany did to the Tarly's. 

"And you counseled her against it right?" I asked, taking a deep breath and turning to go back inside. Varys stood in the doorway while Tyrion stood closer to my vanity, a cup of wine in one hand. I walked over as he poured me a glass and handed it to me. I took a long drink of the sweet dornish red. 

"Of course I did. I don't condone murder unnecessarily. She wiped out an entire house, the other houses won't look kindly in her favor" Tyrion explained, taking a long drink himself. 

"The army is large enough that she doesn't need their support, not yet anyway," I mumbled taking another long sip. 

"Obtaining more soldiers from other houses isn't our main cause for concern" Varys quips in. 

"He's right, it's about gaining acceptance when she wins the throne. She cannot rule without support" Tyrion says with a heavy sigh, taking another drink. 

"It was one house. One where there are hundreds. Perhaps she has now eliminated the threat of a rebellion that that house might have started" I argue, taking another drink, trying to wash the weird taste of those words leaving my mouth. 

"Surely you can't be defending her actions?" Tyrion asked. 

"She is my Queen, I will always defend her" I replied. 

"That's what a lot of people said about your father, and we all know how that turned out" Varys mumbled. 

"She is not our father. She just has a bit of a temper, but I know that doesn't justify her actions. But she isn't our father, and she will never become our father. Not while we're here to advise her" I say in a firm voice. 

"You should speak to her about what happened. Convince her of the importance of making friends" Tyrion urges, setting his glass down on the table. 

"She is at least entertaining the idea of having Jon as an ally" 

"With all due respect Princess, she is only entertaining the idea because of your relationship with him," Varys says a bit stiffly. 

"That cannot be the only reason. The North is a strong ally"

"Yes, a strong ally who contributed to Robert's Rebellion. A strong ally that could rebel against her" Tyrion replies. 

"Jon would never-"

"I'm not saying he will, but that possibility will always be there...unless he pledges himself to house Targaryen" 

"Jon would never pledge the North to the South. Not after everything that's happened" I say with a heavy breath, looking down into my cup. 

"He would, with the proper motivation and incentive," Tyrion says a bit slowly, eyeing me to gauge my reaction. 

"What are you implying?" I ask, my gaze shifting from Tyrion to Varys and back to Tryion. They exchange a look. 

"We would like to make Jon an offer. You both will be betrothed and if he proves his loyalty and brings the North to accept us, you two will be married. If not..." Varys says trailing off towards the end. 

"You want to use me, to get to Jon? To get the North?" I ask. I couldn't tell if I was more shocked or angry. The cup of boiling wine in my hand said otherwise. 

"We don't want the North, we need him as an ally," Tyrion says. 

"Robert Baratheon made a similar deal with Ned Stark. But it was between me and Robb, and we all know how that turned out" I say sharply. 

"It turned out with you getting to keep your life. I remember that bargain. I had heard whispers that there was a Targaryen girl in the North and when I heard about you I wrote a raven to the King suggest he betroth you to Robb Stark and take you as his ward" Varys admits. 

"It was you? You're the reason I had to leave Winterfell!" I snapped, setting my glass down because I could feel it starting to melt in my grasp. 

"No Princess, I think you'll find that your declining health made you leave. If you had a choice to remain in Winterfell you would have remained and you would have died"

"You don't know that"

"I believe I do. When I helped you escaped King's Landing Myra told me you believed that she was taking you to Jon Snow. Despite the fact that you swore to Ned Stark you'd leave Westeros. If given the choice no doubt you would have made the wrong one" he informs me with a knowing look. 

"We'll never know what I would have chosen because I was never given a choice! If I could go back, I would have convinced Jon to run with me. To go South, to the Riverlands. I would have made a plan. But instead, I was sold to a drunk King" I say through gritted teeth. 

"Let's not focus on what could have been. What happened, happened, we shouldn't dwell on it" Tyrion interjected. 

"You're right. It was years ago. Regardless, I will not be your pawn when it comes to Jon" 

"I'm afraid Princess that I was not asking your permission. The Queen has already approved of this plan" Tyrion mumbles. 

"How long have you had this plan?" I ask, crossing my arms in front of my chest. He stays quiet for a minute, looking down at the ground before answering. 

"Since you left in the middle of the night in Meereen. But I didn't suggest it to the Queen until recently" he says quickly, looking back up to meet my eyes. 

"And this is her command?" 

"Yes, it is. She is going to make the proposal to Jon later this afternoon during the meeting" 

I nod along to his words. 

"If the Queen commands it, I will go along with her plan" I reply. They move to exit the room but Varys stops and walks over to me. 

"This arrived earlier today from Winterfell," he says, slipping me a scroll before he exits the room, closing the door behind him. 

I quickly open up the scroll and ztand in shocked silence as I read the contents of the scroll and see who it's signed by. I can feel my heart start to squeeze in my chest as I struggle to comprehend what I've read. The Night King was coming according to Bran's visions. But more importantly Bran and Arya had returned. It was impossible. Maybe even more than impossible. 

I quickly exited my chamber and jogged my way across the castle to Jon's chambers. I stopped in front of his door and raised my hand to knock, but I couldn't. If I told Jon about his siblings return, he'll want to go back to Winterfell immediately. He would leave...and I would have to stay here...wouldn't I? My duty was here. My sister and everything we had been working towards are here. And yet, my heart was with him. Could I ever throw either of those things away?

Before I could dwell too much on it the door opened up revealing Jon. He smiled when he saw me and I gave a faint smile in return. He opened up his door wider to let me in and closed it behind me when I entered. I turned towards him and wordlessly handed the scroll to him. He was confused at first, and I could see fear flash across his face before he started reading. When he did begin to read I could see his eyes continuously shifting over the words. 

"When did you get this?" he asks softly, continuing to stare at the paper. 

"Just a few minutes ago" I reply as he looks up with a giant smile covering his face. 

"They...I...I had thought they were dead. There was never any news on them and now. Now they're back. And Bran says the Night King is getting closer" he says tripping over his words from shock and excitement. But his smile starts to falter as he started to think about what it meant. 

"You sister would never let me leave...not unless I pledged myself and the North to her" he mumbles. 

"I can speak with her. We'll figure out a way to go back" I told him reassuringly. 

"We?" he asks. 

"Yes, we. I haven't seen Bran and Arya in years. We've all been apart from each other for too long. I don't want to spend another second of my life without you and my family in it" I admit. 

"And your sister? She's your family too" 

"I won't be gone from her for long. But I want to go with you to Winterfell. I want to go home"

"But would she let you go? As much as I want to I can't steal you away from her without serious repercussions" 

"I think she would let me go. She understands my feelings towards you, maybe a bit too well" I reply mumbling the last part. I fiddled with my ring as I spoke. He steps towards me and sets his hands on my waist as he searches my eyes. 

"Are you sure?" he asks softly. 

"You can't be rid of me that easy Jon Snow," I say with a smile. He smiles back and gives me a quick kiss. 

"I'll ask the Queen later if we can leave for Winterfell" he replies. I nod as he drops his hands from my waist. We're about to exit the room when I place a hand on his back to stop him. 

"Jon?" I ask, trying to think of how I was going to phrase this. 

"Yes?"

"Before...before you left for the wall and I left for King's Landing. If the King hadn't betrothed me to Robb, would you have gone south with me?"

He stays quiet for a second. 

"South to King's Landing?"

"No. Just far enough South to escape the Northern cold" I clarify. He goes quiet. He looks at me with guilt in his eyes. 

"You don't want to know the answer"

"Please...just tell me. It's not like we could go back anyways...I just want to know if you would have" I beg. He smiles at me sadly. 

"I wouldn't've" he admits. 

"Why?" 

"I'm a bastard. You're a princess. I would never be able to give you anything. You deserved so much. I spoke to Robb about it a few times. Course I knew he fancied you. He told me that he would get you a good match. That he'd find a man for you who would treat you right. You'd want for nothing. How could I take you away from something like that?" 

There was so much certainty in his voice. A part of me wanted to scold him as I did in Winterfell. But I was older and I knew why. 

"You really loved me that much?" I ask, feeling a bit of water welling up in my eyes. He seemed a bit shocked that I didn't scold him. He said nothing and nodded. I stepped forward, closing the gap between us and pressed my lips against his. The kiss was deep and long and he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight as I lost myself in his lips. 

When we broke away he looked at me in confusion as I cupped his cheek with my hand. I smiled at him and he smiles back. 

"I love you...you know that right?" I mumble. He places a kiss on my forehead.

"I love you too. Now come on, we don't want to be late to the meeting" he mumbles and turns for the door. I follow him out of the door as we slowly make our way towards the meeting room. 

We're about halfway there when I grab Jon's arm and stop him. 

"Jon...there's something you need to know before-" The words get stuck in my mouth as I see movement out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head and feel a wave of anger overtake me. There, having just turned down this section of the hallway stood Theon Greyjoy. 

He stopped for a moment and made eye contact with me. He was surprised to see me, just as much as I was surprised to see him. I couldn't think clearly. Firey anger was running through my veins. I quickly pulled out my dagger from my left hip and strode over to him. I wrapped my hand around the front of his shirt and pushed him up against the brick wall of the hallway. I raised the blade up to his neck. 

"Give me one good reason not to kill you right now" I snapped. I could hear Jon quickly moving towards me to stand by my side

"I-I-I-...." he stuttered.

"I. I. I. You what?! You betrayed Robb! You betrayed Bran and Rickon. You are responsible for the deaths of so many people!" I hissed wanting nothing more than to cut his throat. 

"Emelya"

"Don't call me that!" I snapped back, pushing the blade closer to his throat so he had to struggle to look at me. 

"He saved Sansa...he helped her escape Ramsay" Jon said from behind me. 

"One good act does not make up for the things he's done!" I spit back turning to look at Jon. 

"Do it" Theon whispered. I whipped my head back to look at him, feeling confused. 

"What?" 

"Do it. Cut my throat. I deserve it. I'm the reason Robb is dead. I'm the reason Rickon is dead and Bran is gods knows where. So do it...cut my throat and be done with it" 

I thought he was taunting me like he used to when we were younger. But his voice was full of sincerity and sorrow. He was looking at me with defeated eyes, the eyes of a broken man. I slowly lowered my knife away from his neck and stepped away from him, so I was shoulder to shoulder with Jon. 

"One false move, one misstep...and I'll kill you. Do you hear me?" I ask through gritted teeth. He nods and moves to leave but stops. He turns back around to face me. 

"I'm sorry. There's no excuse for what I did...but for what it's worth...before I did what I did...He said that he'd gotten a raven from you and that you might be making your way to his camp from King's Landing. He ordered me to get a small group of men together and start looking for you. To bring you to him...that you might have a baby with you and that you were to be addressed as his Queen. I'm so sorry that I didn't try" he says continuing to give me his broken look. 

"What about Myra and Yara, where are they?" I ask him emotionlessly.

"They were taken by my Uncle Euron, I've come to ask the Queen to help me get them back" he answers a bit stiffly. 

I don't say anything and eventually, he turned and left. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Robb knew I was alive? Despite the raven, Varys sent him and everything else he thought that I'd make it...that I'd come back to him. Maybe I killed him as much as Theon did. If I had been able to make it back...the whole thing that happened with the Freys wouldn't have happened. He might have been King. 

And Myra. One of my closest friends was taken hostage by a man I had never heard of. What was I supposed to do? 

I quickly wiped at my eyes and turned to continue on to the meeting room. Jon stopped me and looked down at me with a worried look. 

"Are you alright?" he asks. 

"Fine...let's just get to the meeting shall we?" I ask as I continue to walk. What had gotten into me? My emotions were bouncing all over the place. The control over my emotions and heat I had gained over the years, was gone. What was wrong with me?

Jon and I entered the chamber room with the painted table. I moved to stand by my sister's side as everyone started to take their seats. 

"Shall we begin?" Dany asks looking around the table. Jon clears his throat and we all turn to look at him. 

"Recently I received a raven from Winterfell. My younger sister Arya and younger brother Bran have returned to Winterfell. Bran has written to me about a vision he's had. About the white walkers advancing on the North. If they make it past the Wall, Winterfell is the only thing that stands in their way. So with your permission, I...we would like to return home, to Winterfell" he says, looking at me with a small smile. I smile back and turn to look at my sister. 

"You want to go with him?" she asks me a bit shocked. I open my mouth to answer but she abruptly turns back to look at him. 

"You don't have a big enough army to fight against the dead," she says bluntly, completely ignoring his request.

"Then join us. With your armies and your three dragons we will stand a better chance than if we fought alone" he tells her. 

"If I turn my forces to the North to help you fight, Cersei will march against us" Dany replies.

"What if we could capture one of these wights and bring it South to King's Landing. It will prove that the army of the dead is real and it just might convince Cersei to agree to a truce" Tyrion offers. 

"That would be a suicide mission, trying to appeal to Cersei Lannister" Varys remarks. 

"Yes, but I can persuade my brother Jamie. He can get Cersei to meet with us, and a meeting might be all we need" Tyrion replies turning to look at my sister. 

"I'd be able to smuggle you in, but it's a risky mission, even for someone as experienced as I am" Ser Davos remarks. 

"My Queen, allow me to go on this expedition and bring back one of these wights for you," Jorah Mormont says from the back of the room. My eyes widen in surprise. When did he return? 

"With all due respect, the free folk will never follow you. I will go and lead the expedition. I have the most experience beyond the wall and with our enemy" Jon states rising from his seat. 

"I'll go as well," I say standing up. 

"No," Jon and Dany both say as they turn to look at me. Dany rising from his seat. 

"I'm a good fighter and you'll need my skills beyond the wall" I state, turning to look at them both. 

"What skills?" Jon asks. I turn back to look at him. I grab my dagger from my left hip. 

"In addition to radiating heat from my body...I can do this" I explain. I quickly make a cut in my right palm. After a moment or two, a flame rises and rests in my hand. Jon and Davos look at me with wide eyes. I make a fist and the flame disappears. 

"You'll need my heat and my fire. Besides, I told you the next battle we fight we'd fight together" I explain, smiling at Jon. 

"Despite that, you are my sister and heir. I will not risk you" Dany says looking at me sternly. 

"You won't risk me, but you'd risk them? They need all the help they can get, and I won't leave them to do it alone" I reply. 

"It doesn't matter. I did not give you permission to leave" Dany replies turning to look at Jon. 

"I am the King in the North. You had the power of life and death over me but I trusted you. Even though you were a stranger to me. I ask that you return the favor by trusting me now. By trusting us now" Jon says with a defeated sigh as he glances at me. 

"I trust you. I trust that you will keep my sister safe, and return with this wight" she says. 

"Of course your Grace. I will protect her with my life" he replies. Jon and Ser Davos leave the meeting room. I cross the length of the room and shut the doors behind them as I turn to look at my sister and all of her advisors. 

"You must be mad. Wanting to sail up to the North, to where the dead walk. Have you no care for your own life?!" Dany snaps at me. 

"More so than you have for my life apparently! I couldn't help but notice you forgot to bring up the marriage proposal to Jon" I snap back. She stays silent for a moment and glances over at Tyrion and Varys. 

"I was perfectly fine marrying to help better your rule. To give you strong alliances. But using me to blackmail a man that I love, I thought you were better than that" I spit. The fireplace at the side of the room roared to life. 

"This is to better my rule, to better our rule. It will reaffirm his loyalties and bring the north to our side. It will better our cause and his" Dany argues. 

"He will come to our side on his own. But he won't sacrifice the north to do it. He would never sacrifice the north for me so don't ask him to" 

"Really? You really don't think he would sacrifice the North for you? That he wouldn't sacrifice everything for you?" Tyrion asks. 

"I doubt it" I reply. 

"Well, I don't. I think he would give up everything for you" he replies. 

"And you would exploit that? For what? You just told him that you trust him" I argue. 

"And I do trust him...to a point" Dany interjects. 

"What about me? Don't you trust me?" I ask. 

"Of course I trust you. You are my sister. But I cannot trust a man simply because you trust him" she states. 

"So don't. Trust him because you trust him. But I will not be doing your dirty work for you. I will not be used as a tool against him" I reply, turning to leave the room. I place my hand on the door to open it when she speaks. 

"So you would betray me? You would betray your Queen?" she asks.

"My Queen betrayed me first" I mumble back, opening the door and leaving the room. 

I turn down the hall and see Jon leaning against the wall. He straightens up as I approach him. I smile but he doesn't return the gesture.

"What in the seven hells were you thinking?!" he immediately snaps at me. 

"I was thinking I'd go North of the wall and help you" I answer, continuing to walk down the hall back towards my chambers. He follows me, practically seething in anger. 

"I don't need your help. What I need is for you to be safe"

"And I will be"

"No, you won't! You could be killed out there. You were injured in battle not but a few hours ago" he says continuing to scold me like a child. I quickly enter my chambers as Jon storms in after me. I slam the door shut behind me and turn to face him. 

"Yes, I was injured. Yes, it will be dangerous. But that doesn't give you the right to tell me not to risk my life when you are going to go out there and do the same thing! You swore to me that you would never leave my side and I swore the same. I intend to keep that promise" I say sternly, walking up so my face was right in front of his. 

"You can't follow me here. It's too dangerous. I can't lose you, not again" he says with a broken sigh. His eyes seemed to shake as he looked into mine. It was one of the very few times that I have ever seen Jon Snow afraid. 

"And I can't lose you. I will not sit idly by and wait for you to return to me. I want to fight by your side and help you however I can. So please Jon, don't fight me on this. I'll be going with you either way and I'd rather us not be bickering at each other the whole time we're away" I mumble starting to fiddle with my ring, shifting my gaze. 

He stays silent for a moment and I can feel his eyes searching me. I move to walk towards my vanity but he grabs my arm and stops me. 

"What's wrong?" he asks me with worried eyes. 

"What?" I mumble, looking up at him. 

"You have that vacant look in your eyes and you're fiddling with your ring. I know you, I know when something's wrong, so tell me, what is it?" he asks, letting go of my arm. 

"It's nothing, there's just been a lot on my mind recently" I reply, looking down at my ring.

"What's been on your mind?" he asks calmly. 

"Really Jon it's nothing"

"No, it's not nothing if it's bothering you. And you can't have your mind full of troubles when you go beyond the wall. Your mind has to be clear as well as your senses. So tell me, what's bothering you?" he asks me with a firm voice, but with love in his eyes. 

"I was just ready to go home...that was all" I reply, only partially lying to him. I couldn't tell him about what was happening with my sister. Like he said, our minds needed to be clear when we go North, beyond the wall. And this would only upset him, make him leave or possibly turn against her. 

He smiles and steps forward, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my lips. 

"We'll go home soon enough," he says as he pulls away to look at me. I smile back as he turns to exit the room. He pauses before he does, turning to look at me. 

"I am happy you're coming with us. I would have missed you" he says with a slight smile as he turns and exits my room. 

Oh gods, what was I doing? I lied to him. I had lied to him. I don't think I've ever done that before. Is this what family did to you? Turned you into liars? I love my sister, and I believe in her as a ruler...but, not like this. I won't sacrifice Jon for her, or for anyone for that matter. 

My thoughts drifted to the past as I started preparing for our journey. I grabbed my warmest furs, which included my white fur cloak Sansa had made for me years ago. I had my sword, black sister, and my dagger. I had a blanket and some warm fur boots that were left for me earlier by my Dothraki handmaids. I had no idea how cold it would be, but I had to go assuming it was going to be freezing, a type of cold that my dragon fire would even struggle with. 

I exited my chambers in my light leathers and headed down towards the mines. As soon as my boot-clad feet hit the sand, a couple of Dothraki blood riders took my rolled up furs and blanket and headed towards the boat. I nodded in a way of saying thanks and continued to the mines. 

Within a few feet of the cave, I could hear the clanking of metal on metal and the thuds of metal on rock. I walked a few feet into the mouth of the cave and saw Jon supervising the Dothraki and Unsullied as they carried away large black rocks. Dragonglass. 

"They're beautiful," I remarked as I moved to his side, looking up and seeing even larger amounts of the dark rocks. 

"Would you like to see the cave paintings?" he asks. 

"You haven't destroyed them yet?" I ask turning to look at him. He smiles a bit and grabs a torch off the wall. 

"No, I had a feeling you wanted to see them" he replies, starting to walk deeper into the mouth of the cave. I looked up in awe at the rocks that were surrounding us. From the ground to the ceiling the cave was covered in it. 

"Through here" Jon calls, turning my focus back to him as he leads me to a small opening. I slowly walk over to him as he hands me the torch and moves to the side. 

"Ladies first," he says making me smile. 

"Well I'm not really a lady now am....I...." my words trail off as I see the thousands of spiral paintings scattered on the cave walls. The light from the torch gave them almost a golden glow and left me speechless. There was a warmth in here that I couldn't quite place. 

I walked forward, with Jon walking behind me. I stopped in the center of the room and I could feel his breath on my neck. He placed his left hand on my waist and his right moved gently to my wrist, guiding the torch up to illuminate certain sections of the walls. 

"When you said you found cave paintings...I assumed you meant a couple of sketches...not all of this" I mumble in awe. I feel Jon snake his arm around my waist and pull me close so my back was to his chest. I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing him to hold me against him. For a moment, the rest of the world didn't matter or exist for that matter. It was just me and him alone in the cave. 

"It is something, isn't it? I didn't think it would be so beautiful, almost as beautiful as you" he whispers placing a kiss on the back of my head. 

"I wish we could stay here. Just forget about the rest of the world and live out the rest of our days in here" I mumble back. I feel him tense a bit behind me but I decide not to call him out on it. 

Eventually, though we had to leave the cave. He followed me out the way we came but before we were all the way through, Ser Davos stood before us with a young man at his side. 

"Your Graces, this is-"

"You are a lot shorter than I expected," the young man said, interrupting Ser Davos and looking at Jon. 

"My name is Gendry Waters, Your Grace. Robert Baratheon's bastard. I understand that our fathers were friends and fought together side by side. I hope that we can join forces, like our fathers, did. I want to accompany you on this mission of yours" he states bluntly. 

"Can you swing a sword?" Jon asks. 

"No"

"Can you use a bow?" 

"No, but I can swing a hammer. I imagine it's no different" he replies. Jon nods. 

"We're leaving soon, you and your hammer are welcome to join us," Jon tells him. 

"Is the Lady coming as well?" he asks turning to look at me with curious eyes. 

"Boy, this 'Lady' is the Princess of the Seven Kingdoms," Ser Davos tells him. 

"It's alright Ser Davos. My name is Rhaella, and yes I will be going with you. Speaking of I should go see to the boat. Excuse me" I reply with a polite smile, exiting the caves. 

With my hands behind my back, I walked across the sandy beach and stood a couple of feet away from the shoreline, watching as the Dothraki got the boats they had stolen from Jon earlier. 

"I heard you were going with them" 

I let out a deep sigh as Monell moved to stand by my left side. 

"I am. Have you come to try to talk me out of it?" I asked glancing at him. 

"No, because I know it wouldn't do any good" 

"So then why are you here?" 

"You're angry with me?" he asks turning to face me. 

"Yes, aren't you angry with me as well?" I reply turning towards him. 

"You know I can't stay mad at you," he says softly, making me turn back to face the sea. 

"You shouldn't be here," I say sternly. 

"You're leaving on a suicide mission. It might be the last time I ever get to see you. Of course, I should be here" he says moving to stand in front of me. 

"You couldn't have come wished me farewell with my sister and everyone else?" I ask with a bit of a knowing smile. He smiles a bit in return. 

"I'm sorry...for what I said earlier" he admits. 

"It's okay" 

"No, it's not okay. I should try to be understanding of what's happened. But you can't ask me to give up on you that easily" he says sounding almost desperate. My hands drop and I start to fiddle with my ring. 

"Monell I-" but before I can finish my sentence his hands are on my cheeks pulling my lips to his. The kiss lasted a second or two before I roughly pushed him away. 

"Ray-"

"No!" I snap cutting him off. I turn as I hear Jon walking over to us. He was so close...he must have seen. 

"Jon" I tried to say, but he didn't even look at me. He strode over to Monell and used both hands to clasp the front of his shirt. 

"If you ever touch her again, I'll kill you," Jon says in a dark voice. He shoves Monell away and watches as he leaves. 

"Jon I'm so sorry he just-" but I go silent when Jon turns towards me and places his hands on my upper arms. 

"It's okay, I know you didn't want him to," he says reassuringly, giving my arms a slight squeeze. 

We turn as Dany approaches with her entourage of people. She walks over to Jorah and smiles as she tells him goodbye. She walks over to us, causing Jon to give her a respectful nod. 

"Your Grace," he says. She nods in return. 

"Good luck on your travels Jon Snow. I hope you'll return with this wight" she says with a smile. 

"Thank you Your Grace" he replies. 

"Could you give me a moment alone with my sister?" she asks. 

"Of course Your Grace," he says with a smile, moving to walk towards the boats. 

I try my best to avoid her gaze as she stands before me with clasped hands. 

"You'll be safe out there won't you?" she asks. 

"I always am" I reply, crossing my arms in front of my chest. 

"Rhaella, I don't want us to say goodbye while we're fighting," she says pointedly. 

"Fine, then let's not say goodbye" I reply, making her eyes go a bit wide. I do a mock curtesy in front of her. 

"Your Grace" I mumble before turning around and heading back for the boats. 

Daenerys was at a loss for words. She never thought her sister would turn on her. With everything they've been through, Rhaella had always stayed by her side. Respected her decisions. They hadn't really fought before, at least not to the degree where she would be ignored by her. Daenerys was worried, to say the least. She chewed on her lip as she watched them get ready to depart. 

Jon glanced over and saw the worried look on Daenerys face. He walked back over towards her. 

"Is everything alright Your Grace?" he asks. 

"Just, watch over my sister will you?" Daenerys asks, too worried to keep up with the normal courtesies. 

"I will. Don't worry Your Grace, I'll keep her safe" Jon tells her. 

"I'll hold you to that" Daenerys says with a nervous smile. 

Jon walked back over to the rowboat, back to her side. 

"Are you ready?" she asks turning to him. He smiles back and places his hands on her waist, gently lifting her into the boat. 

"I'm ready"


	27. Chapter 27

Part 1

I was standing in my patchy spot of burned grass, with the hills of snow surrounding me. The snow was falling in heavy fat flakes, and for the first time in a while, I could feel them as they hit my cheeks. The wind was picking up and started to whip at my hair. I was dressed in a white fur dress with my silver white hair pulled back in a braid. 

I could see a figure in the distance wearing a brown fur cloak. I couldn't completely make out his face, but he had dark hair and was tall. 

"Jon?" 

I was confused. Why would I be here? Why would Jon be here? We were together again, and I hadn't had a dream like this since then. The figure was getting closer and as he got closer the wind became more violent and the snow became almost blinding. I held a hand up to my eyes and squinted as the man came closer. 

"No, not Jon," the man said almost teasingly. How did his voice not get drowned out by the sound of the wind? He stood in front of me and I could feel my chest tense up at the sight. 

"Robb? What are you doing here?" I asked and the snow, and wind immediately stopped and froze in mid-air. 

"To warn you. Do not go beyond the wall" he says in what used to be his Lord's voice. 

"Why?" 

"You will not return the same," he tells me pointedly. 

"But I will come back?" 

"Yes...but you will wish you hadn't" he warns, turning to walk away. As he walks away the winds pick back up. The snow starts to fall like sideways rain. I'm blinded and my patch of burnt grass shrinks as the snow creeps towards me. It crawls up my legs and entraps them in ice. I tried to summon my dragon fire to burn it away, but I couldn't. I couldn't move, and my breath was no longer visible. I screamed in a broken voice as the cold snow made its way up my chest. The ice was starting to burn. 

"Emelya!" 

I woke up, gasping for breath. I brought my hands to my throat as I started to cough, feeling the need to pull the snow off of me, but it was gone. Everything was gone. I was sitting up in a bed, on the ship to Eastwatch. Jon was sitting up on my right, holding his right hand in his left. It was red and looked swollen. 

"D-Did I burn you?" I ask as I catch my breath. 

"Only a little. Are you alright?" he asks, looking me over. 

"Fine...it was only a dream" I mumble. I pull the sheets up to cover my chest and push my hair back. 

"We should take care of that," I say taking a deep breath. I move to get out of the bed but he places a hand on my arm and stops me. 

"What was it about?" he asks. I stay silent. 

"You don't have to tell me, but if you want to talk about it I'm here," he says softly. I nod. 

"Thank you," I tell him. He smiles and gets out of the bed, exposing his bare body as he walks across the room to the wash basin. I can see his muscles tense up as he places his hand on the basin of water. I'm about to apologize to him again when I notice two small circular scars on his back. 

"What are those scars from?" I ask. He turns around and starts wrapping his hand up. 

"Arrows" 

"When did you get shot in the back with arrows?" I ask curiously. 

"When I was with the free folk. I ran away and Ygritte tracked me down. Then she shot me in the back, twice, and once in the leg" he admits as he walks back over to me. 

"Why didn't she kill you?" 

"We..." he trails off. 

"You two were in love?" I ask. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it and nods instead. 

"What happened to her?" 

"She died...during the free folks' siege of Castle Black...an arrow to the heart," he says, the tone in his voice changing to a sad one. 

"I'm sorry" 

"It was years ago..." 

"But you loved her"

"I did...but not the way she deserved or needed..." he mumbles, staying silent for a moment. 

"But I love you, and that's all that matters now," he says, looking into my eyes lovingly. I lean forward and kiss his soft lips.

"I wish it was all that mattered," I say as I break away. 

We arrived at Eastwatch in the morning. I dressed in my furs, as did Jon and everyone else. Jon and I stood at the front gate with the others standing behind us. 

"Who goes there?" a man shouted from the top of the gate. 

"Jon Snow" Jon called. The gates immediately opened and there stood Tormund, dressed in sheepskins with snow scattered about his hair and beard. 

"Well if it isn't the fucking King," Tormund said teasingly. We all walked in and I moved to stand by Jon's side. 

"Why do I have a feeling you aren't all just here for a visit?" he says with a bit of a groan in his voice. 

"Come on then," Tormund said, leading us towards a large building. 

We set our things down near the entrance of the building as Tormund beckoned us to sit around the table. He sat at the head, Jon sitting on his left with me sitting beside Jon. Davos and Jorah sat opposite of us with Gendry at the bottom of the table. 

A wildling walked in with mugs of ale and another followed behind him with plates of food. I thanked them and good a large drink out of my cup. 

"I didn't think you could drink" Tormund remarks as I set down my cup.

"I didn't think your ale would taste like horse piss" I retorted, making him chuckle. 

"Your woman's a feisty one, Jon Snow, I like it," Tormund said eyeing me with a smirk on his lips. I smiled at his comment and turned my attention back towards the small meal. 

"We've come to retrieve a White Walker to prove to the Queens that they exist and hopefully get help in the war to come" Jon explains as I poke at the meal. 

"Which Queen do you need to convince, the one with the dragons or the one who murdered your father?" Tormund asks.

"Both" 

"Isn't your job to advise him against doing something stupid like this?" Tormund asks turning to Davos. 

"Yes, but I haven't been doing a good job of it as of late" Davos says with a heavy sigh, taking a long sip out of his cup. 

"How many men did you bring?" Tormund asks turning back to Jon. Jon looks around, gesturing towards everyone who was seated at the table. 

"We were hoping that some of the free folk would accompany us" 

"We'll help you. There are also some men down in the cells. Our rangers spotted them a few miles south of the wall. They claim they want to go beyond the wall" Tormund explains. 

"Show me" 

Everyone rose from their seats and prepared to follow Tormund towards the cells, but I placed a hand on Jon's back to stop him. He turned around and gave me a curious look. 

"I'm going to go see the wall" I state. 

"Are you sure now is the best time?" 

"It may be my only time. I want to go see it now while I've got the chance" I explain. He nods.

"Be careful, it can be slippery up there. I'll come to meet you after" he says with a sigh and soft smile. I smile back and turn to exit the room on the opposite side of where everyone else was leaving. 

I made my way towards the wall where there was a set of stairs zigzagging up the wall. Next to the stairs was what appeared to be a box-like platform that went up and down the wall. I opened up the gate and stepped onto the platform. As soon as I closed the gate behind me a bell rang and it started moving up. I stood with my back to the wall and watched as the world got smaller and became more visible. 

My heart jolted in my chest when the platform jerked to a stop at the top. I hesitantly opened the gate and slowly took a step onto the wall. I gasped as my boot made contact with the wall. I could feel the cold radiating off the wall, and how it felt like something was humming underneath me. The wall felt alive. 

I continued forward and turned right, walking towards one of the nests that hung slightly over the edge of the wall. I slowly stepped onto the overhang and stared in wonder at the vast land before me. 

There was a large forest of trees near the wall and beyond that, it was hills and hills of snow. The sun caused the snow to shimmer and the wall seemed to almost glow under the sun's light. It was beautiful. It reminded me of the mornings I used to spend in the broken tower, looking out over Winterfell. How the rising sun would just peak over the trees and the sky would turn a lovely orange color.

For the first time in a while, my shoulders relaxed. I didn't feel like I was carrying the people or the world with me. All the terrible things that had ever happened, faded away into nothingness. If I stared for much longer, I would fade away with it. But I couldn't bring myself to look away. I stood there for quite some time and I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Jon says as I turn around to face him. 

"It's alright. I guess I was too caught up in the scenery to hear you coming" I reply, turning back to look out over the wall. 

"I remember the first time I saw the view from the wall...it's still breathtaking" he mumbles as he moves to stand beside me on the overhang. 

"I could stand here for hours...and never get tired of it. It's beautiful" I mumble back. 

"It reminded me of the broken tower...and the last time the two of us were there," he says, which makes me smile. 

"I was thinking of that too" I reply. We stand in silence for a few moments more, just enjoying one another's company. 

"We should go. Everyone is gathering up supplies and preparing to leave" he says. I nod and follow him off of the overhang and towards the platform. We make our way down the wall and walk towards the others who are gathering at the gate. 

A man with an eye patch and his companion started to approach me and Jon as we got closer to the gate. I could see them glance at one another as they got closer. 

"Rhaella, this is Beric Dondarrion and Thoros. Their Lord of Light led them here" Jon says introducing us. I move to shake their hands but before I do, Beric grabs my hand and kneels before me with a look of reverence on his face. He brings my ungloved hand to his lips and places a soft kiss that lasted a bit too long for my liking. 

"My Queen, it is an honor to be in your presence," he says with a smile, giving my hand a squeeze. 

"Oh I think you must be mistaken I'm not that Queen," I say with a nervous laugh. 

"I can feel the Lord of Light's Light in your hand. You radiate heat...you are the Queen of Light" he says with a soft smile as he rises to his feet. Thoros only continues to look at me wide-eyed. 

I stay silent as they both continue to stare. Jon glances at me and looks back at the men. 

"We should get going if we want to make it before dark" Jon says moving to walk towards the gate. 

"It was nice to meet you," I tell the men before I follow Jon to the gate. Jorah hands me my small pack of things as I make my way towards Jon at the front. I knew that Jorah was trying to talk to me, it was all I could do to avoid him on the boat ride over. 

I walk on Jon's left as we make our way down the tunnel and towards the outer gate. Everyone was silent as we walked through the dark tunnel with only a few torches in hand amongst us. No doubt we were all thinking the same thing. This was a suicide mission and we very well may not return. We stopped in front of the outer gate as one of the free folk waved his torch. 

I could hear the gears grinding together and the creaking of the gate as it was lifted up to let us through. The light reflecting off the snow was blinding compared to the dark tunnel we were in. I could feel the wind the moment the gate rose and it was cold. I was tempted to pull my gloves out from my pocket, but I didn't. Once the gate was fully lifted up Jon took a step forward and glanced back to look at us all. He then turned back forward and continued out of the tunnel. 

I followed and the moment I crossed that line from the cave into the snow, I gasped. Jon turned around at my noise and raised his eyebrows at me. 

"Sorry, just stepped weird" I reply, forcing a smile onto my lips. He turned back around and we continued forward. 

I could feel the cold, but not in the normal sense. I could feel my heat and fire being smothered inside of me. The cold was choking me, in a way only I could feel apparently. I struggled to bring my heat to the palms of my hands. My hands started to tremble at the action, but I was able to summon it. 

We began marching through the snow. I walked up front with Jon and Tormund and the boy Gendry was trailing just a little bit behind us. 

"How can you stand the cold? My balls are freezing" Gendry asks. 

"Haven't experienced Winter before?" Tormund replies with a chuckle.

"I've never seen snow before" Gendry admits, looking around the vast landscape. 

"Walking helps. Fighting is better. Fucking is best" Tormund explains as we continue to walk. Tormund glances at me and gives me an exaggerated wink, causing me to laugh. 

"Don't even think about it" I chuckle. 

"What? The little crow doesn't feel like sharing?" Tormund asks glancing at Jon. 

"You're not nearly pretty enough for me" I reply with a smile, making the men laugh and Jon grin next to me. 

"Here, take my hand," I say, falling behind a little so I was walking in stride with Gendry. I offered him my bare right hand but he glanced at me in confusion. 

"You want me to hold your hand?" 

"No, use it to warm you up. But I swear if you put my hand on your balls I'll cut them off" I threaten. Tormund and Jon chuckle as Gendry hesitantly takes my hand and places it against his cheek. I can hear him sigh in relief next to me. 

"How is it your so warm?" Gendry asks. 

"I'm a Targaryen...it's in my blood I suppose" 

"Why isn't your hair red?" Tormund asks glancing back to look at me. 

"Why would my hair be red?"

"Red hair is kissed by fire. Why would you have snow-kissed hair if you're a dragon queen?" 

"I don't know. It's just how it's always been. And I'm not the queen" I answer, feeling a bit puzzled by the question. Gendry let's go of my hand and thanks me as we continue to walk. 

I start to fall behind a little and end up walking near Jorah Mormont. 

"Princess," he says in greeting. 

"Jorah, How are you doing?" I ask, knowing that he would attempt to talk with me at some point. It may as well be now.

"Well, for an old man that is. You?" he asks with a slight chuckle. 

"Good" I answer. We stand in awkward silence for a few moments before he begins to speak. 

"Your sister told me about what happened" he begins. 

"Of course she did...and let me guess she asked you to talk to me about it?" 

"No, she didn't ask. I offered to" he says with a smile. 

"So what do you want to talk to me about?" I ask. 

"You shouldn't be too hard on your sister" 

"I knew you would say that" I grumble as we continue to walk. 

"She told you what she did right? How she wanted to use me against him" I snap, feeling the heat attempt to radiate off my body. 

"You did tell your sister that you were fine with bettering her rule through marriage" he points out. 

"Yes. Through marriage. Not through blackmail and deceit and lies" 

"I'm sure that wasn't her intention" 

"Of course it wasn't. She can do no wrong in your eyes" I state as I glance at him. He goes silent. I slow down my pace so he ends up ahead of me, our conversation over. 

As I start to trail a bit behind the others, I end up falling in step with Beric. I stay silent as he smiles at me. 

"My Queen," he says in greeting, breaking the silence. 

"I'm not a Queen, I'm a princess actually" I reply a bit awkwardly. 

"You are a Queen to me. The Queen of Light. The Lord of Light has chosen you and sent you here, fate caused our paths to meet" 

"Why would the Lord of Light chose me?" I ask, unable to think that anyone, let alone a god would choose me to be a Queen. 

"I don't know. He does many things for many reasons, all of which are not always clear" he says. We stay silent for a bit as we march until Jon falls into step beside us. 

"I believe the Lord of Light wants something with you both" Beric says. Jon and I glance at each as Beric looks between the two of us. 

"The Lord of Light blessed you with the gift of fire. And he gave you back your life. He must want you both for something important" Beric continues. 

"And what would that be?" Jon asks.

"I don't know. But maybe we'll know soon enough" Beric replies with a smile, picking his pace up a little so that Jon and I are left at the back of our party. 

"He keeps calling me a Queen..." I mumble to Jon. 

"It's not a hard thing to picture, my Queen," he says with a teasing smile. I smile back and nudge him with my elbow. 

"I'm not a ruler Jon, I'm a fighter. What good is a Queen if she's only a warrior?" I reply. 

"You are much more than just a warrior," he says, grabbing my hand in his gloved one and giving it a squeeze. 

"Right, I'm the daughter of the Mad King" I joke, but Jon pulls me aside so he's standing in front of me. 

"You're smart. You think things out, like planning for a battle. You're stubborn, which can be a bit difficult at times, but it means that you're passionate and you trust yourself and your judgment" he says with a soft smile, making me smile as well. I raise my hand up to cup his cheek. 

"How is it you're always so cold...your skin is like ice most of the time" I mumble as I gently move my thumb across his skin. 

"Probably for the same reason you're always so warm" he replies his smile growing a little bigger for a moment. 

"Thank you...for saying those things" I mumble, slowly lowering my hand back to my side. But before I can completely lower my hand he grabs it and pulls me closer to his chest, giving me an almost teasing smile. He leans down a bit and connects his lips with mine. His lips are freezing and taste of ale, but they're his lips all the same. His soft, sweet lips that cool the fire in my body. 

We break away and smile at one another. 

"We should catch up," he says, his chocolate eyes shifting between my violet ones. 

"Just one more" I mumble and lean up to kiss him. My hands grasp the front of his fur coat to try and pull him closer. One of his gloved hands moves to the back of my neck and I'm lost in him. When we break away the fog from our breath mingles together as we softly breathe.

"I love you" he whispers, leaning his forehead down to press against mine. 

"I love you too" I whisper back, the words feeling a bit awkward on my tongue. There's no doubt that we love each other, but we've never felt like we needed to voice the emotion. 

We quickly catch up to the rest of the party, moving to walk towards the front as a storm starts to set in. The sky starts to turn dark and the wind begins to howl. Almost instantly we begin walking through a blizzard. Jon moves his hand to grasp mine and I clasp onto him tightly. I couldn't see more than a foot or two in front of me, and once the torches were lit it wasn't much better. 

I was looking down, trying to concentrate on my steps when suddenly I was jerked to a halt. I bumped into Jon's shoulder and looked up. One of the free folk ventured forward with a torch in hand with his other hand trying to block the blinding snow. Off in the distance, a large dark shadow could be seen, slowly moving to the right. The man with the torch slowly seemed to disappear as he walked further and further away. 

The large dark shadow seemed to get closer and closer. 

"Ohh, I think it's a bear. We'll be feasting tonight" one of the guys says cheerfully. A few of the other men mumbled in agreement. But the wildling man who ventured forward with a torch came sprinting back, and following behind him, briefly illuminated by the torch, was a large, undead, polar bear. 

I let go of Jon's hand and immediately pulled out my sword. Jon did the same as did the rest of the others. We all watched for a moment in honor as the wildling man was taken by the undead bear. After that split second, we all leaped into action. 

Beric ran his hand over his sword and it immediately lit on fire. Everyone was running towards the undead bear. I moved to go towards the bear as well, but I was held back by Jon. 

"Don't"

"But I-"

"Stay put" he orders and moves towards the bear. 

Every bone in my body wants to follow him. To help fight against the bear and prove that I'm more than just his doe-eyed woman. But, for one of the very few times in my life, I listen. I watch as the bear starts swinging his large paws at the men and advances on Clegane. Clegane ends up on his back with his sword in the bear's mouth. They wrestle for a few moments before he is able to break away and is pushed aside by Thoros. 

Thoros then ends up on his back with a flaming sword in the bear's mouth. They continue to wrestle and the bear ends up throwing Thoro's sword aside and begins attacking him. I immediately run forward towards the bear's right. I do my best to avoid the bear as he was thrashing about and I plunge my sword into the space above the bear's shoulder just a Jorah stabs the bear on the other side. The bear stops and in that small space of time the others drag Thoros out from under the bear and to safety. 

Once I'm sure the bear is dead, I pull my sword out from it and turn to walk over towards the others as some of the other men begin to light the bear on fire. I walk towards the circle that has formed around Thoros. Beric rips open his shirt to expose a large tooth mark the bear left behind. Blood was oozing out of the wound and beginning to coat his chest in blood. 

"We need to get him back to Eastwatch," Gendry says looking around at the others. 

"There's no time" Thoros coughs. 

"Hand me a skin and let's get this over with," Thoros says in a tired voice. I turn and moved to walk back over towards Jon. 

"Some help you were" I grumble as I move to stand at his side as he watches the bear ignite into flames. 

"We need to get moving. They could have heard the bear. And if they did we'll all be dead soon" Jon says almost absently. 

"Thoros need some time to rest" I argue, gesturing towards the muffled screaming man to our left. 

"We don't have time"

"Well, then we'll just have to fucking make some!" I snap, causing Jon to turn to me with his arms crossed. I feel myself glare at him as he gives me a shocked confused look. For good reason. I only use "foul" language like that when I'm really angry. 

"What?" he asks. 

"I came along to help. To help catch a wight and bring it back to my sister and then Cersei for proof. But you keep fighting me on this! You won't let me help or fight! I don't want to go against what you ask of me but it's starting to look like I'll have to if you keep insisting I stay away from all this. " I snap, fogging seeming to rise off of my body. 

"I was trying to prote-"

"I don't care what your reasons are! But you can't keep me from this. You can't ask me not to fight! You can't ask me to just step aside and let you do what needs to be done. I'm not a little girl anymore Jon" I continue, trying my best to curb my anger. He was becoming my sister. Next, he would ask me to betray my sister, and then...and then who knows what. His gaze turns into a defeated one and I can feel my glare soften. 

I was becoming paranoid. Everything was starting to feel like a trap and I was powerless to do anything to stop it. Maybe Robb was right, I wouldn't return from this the same. 

"You're right..." he replies softly, shifting his gaze from me back to the horizon that was becoming visible in the calming storm, "We'll stay here for a little while and then we keep moving" 

"That won't be necessary" Thoros calls from behind us. We both turn around and see him stumbling over to us clutching a skin of wine, "Let's keep moving before the rest come for us" 

Jon and I glance at each other. 

"Alright, let's get going then," Jon says and starts walking, causing everyone else to continue forward. I sheath my sword and continue marching forward after Jon.


	28. Chapter 28

Part 2 

I couldn't remember how long we had been walking for. We had been walking for quite a while, though, and we were moving a bit slower because of Thoro's injury. But everyone seemed to be thankful for the change of pace — everyone except Jon, of course. Jon remained at the front of the group a couple of feet ahead of everyone else.

I was walking next to Gendry, who in my opinion seemed to be the least offensive person here. Clegane was a harsh, foul man who liked to be left alone. Beric, who was helping Thoro's kept looking at me like I was a god. Jorah kept trying to give me advice to get me to reconcile with my sister and Jon. Jon and I hadn't spoken since our fight earlier if it could even be considered a fight.

I was starting to feel like Jon didn't see me as an equal. I was losing who I was. When I was with Jon, I wasn't Rhaella Targaryen, the future queen. I was Emelya Snow, the moon-eyed stubborn girl from Winterfell, now Jon's woman. Maybe a part of me would always be Emelya Snow, but out here I needed to be the warrior princess Rhaella.

We continued walking, some of the men murmuring amongst themselves until Clegane told us all to shut up. We stopped walking and turned to look at Clegane as he gave a confused look.

"Do you hear that?" he asks, slowly turning his head to look around. A faint clanking sound could be heard in the distance. I followed Jon and Tormund up a nearby hill overlooking the next pass. Jon peaked over the top of the snowy mound and watched for a few seconds before hiding back behind the snow.

"There aren't very many of them," he remarks as Tormund, and I peak over the hill as well.

I stay silent as I see the boney creatures trudge along. I don't know why I thought the army of the dead would look more pleasant. I had assumed it would be ordinary people, dead of course with blue eyes. But not these things with skin hanging off and protruding bones with rags for clothes.

"Well then, let's not waste any time" I mumbled as I move back behind the snowy hill. 

"We need to lure them somewhere first, somewhere they can't escape and get the others," Jon says.

"We'll get ahead of them and light a fire to draw them out," Tormund says, causing Jon to nod in agreement.

We make our way back down the small hill and tell our plan to the others. Immediately we begin moving in the direction the Wights appeared to be heading in. We stop at the opening of the narrowing path and get into position while Beric starts the fire. Jon moves to hide next to me while we wait. 

"Are you going to ask me to sit this one out too?" I ask as I pull out my sword. 

"No, I'm not," he states. We sit in silence for a few awkward moments while Jon pulls out his sword. 

"I'm sorry, about earlier. I shouldn't have asked you not to fight. I just wanted to keep you safe." he says softly. I sigh and turn so that my body is facing his. 

"I understand why you asked me. But I had hoped that you would see me differently now. I'm not that girl anymore. I've changed."

He places his free hand on top of mine and looks into my eyes. 

"I know. But there is always going to be a part of me that will see you as the girl I left in Winterfell" he admits with a heavy sigh. I smile softly at him and lean forward to give him a quick kiss. 

"I forgive you," I whisper as I pull away to look back into his eyes. He smiles, but the smile instantly disappears at the sound of crunching snow. They were here. I kept my eyes on Jon as we got our swords into the ready position. He was looking up as if he could see the white walkers out of the back of his head. I waited for his signal, and once he gave it, we all leaped into action. 

These things were unlike anything I've ever faced before. There was no method to their fighting. They weren't like most men who fight to live. These things fought to kill. I was able to kill two of them before Jon killed one that destroyed almost all of the others. The one that was left we immediately surrounded for Clegane to capture. But before its head got covered it let out a shrill of a scream. Clegane instantly covered the mouth of the creature with his hand, which resulted in his hand getting bitten by the thing. Quickly it was obtained under control, but while everyone was focused on restraining the creature, Jon was looking behind us all, at an incoming storm. 

He moved over to Gendry and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. 

"Run to Eastwatch. Send a message to the Queen. Tell her what happened," Jon says quickly. Gendry looks around in confusion. 

"Why not her?" he asks, gesturing towards me. 

"She knows how to wield a sword. And you're the fastest. Now go!" Jon snapped. Gendry turned to run, but Tormund stopped him by grabbing his hammer. 

"You'll be faster without this," he tells him. Gendry nods handing Tormund his hammer and takes off through the snowy hills. Jon starts looking around until his eyes finally land on the narrow pass in front of us. 

"We need to go," he announces to all of us. Everyone immediately begins to leap into action and starts running down the pass. I follow with Jon running alongside me. 

The snow crunched under our feet. The wind whipped past our ears and stung our eyes, but we didn't care. I glanced behind and saw a wave of white walkers chasing after us. The terrifying sight only made me run faster. Jon was ahead of me only by a little, but when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, he reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me to a stop next to him. I jerked to a halt and looked at him in bewilderment. Was he mad? I followed his gaze down and saw the frozen lake with a crack where he must have stepped. The shrieking sounds were getting closer. I whipped my head back and saw the wave a few feet from crushing us. 

"GO!" I screamed and began running on the ice, the others following close behind, towards the small island in the middle of the frozen lake. The white walkers were following and surrounding us. About halfway across the lake, I slipped and fell flat on my face. Luckily I maintained the grip on my sword, so it didn't skid across the ice. 

Jon, in a rushed frenzy, bent down beside me and roughly grabbed my left arm, pulling me to my feet. He maintained his grip and pulled me along to the island. The moment we stepped foot on the land, the ice began to break. I glanced over at Clegane, who was holding the hammer over the ice and glanced back at the white walkers surrounding us. The ones who were on the ice were gone, but there were hundreds of thousands surrounding us on the land. We were trapped. 

As the hours rolled by, the others began to settle in and get comfortable for the night. The island was a bit small and cramped, but everyone was able to find their own space. I was leaned against a nearby boulder, facing the direction we had run from. Jon was standing a little ways away from me. Shivering, with his arms crossed. I leaned forward and tugged on the back of his furs. He turned around to look down at me. 

"You're tired and freezing. Come sit for a while," I say moving to make space for him. 

"If the dead try to cross-"

"We'll be able to stand quicker than they can swim" I counter, giving him a pointed look. He gives a heavy sigh but relents and moves to sit next to me. Once he does, I turn to face him and places my hands on his cold cheeks. The cold from his skin burned me briefly before I was able to conjure up enough heat to make a difference. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. I slowly made my way down. I was moving my hands from his cheek, trailing down his neck and dipping under the furs to get to his chest. I could feel his heart beating faster as my hands continued their path to his stomach and waist. But once I got down to the waist, I moved my hands back up, over his stomach to rest on his chest. 

"Thank you," he whispers, opening his eyes. I move my right hand back up to cup his cheek and smile. 

"You're welcome."

I maneuvered myself, so I was resting against Jon's frame. He pulled his fur cloak over us both, and I moved his shirt and leathers, so I was touching as much bare skin as possible. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, so his chin was resting on the top of my head. 

"Hey Snow, tell your woman to give me a turn when she's done with you" Tormound called as he walked around us. So after a few more minutes of relishing in Jon, I got up and started making my way through the camp of men, offering my hands up like a warming stone. Once I finished, I made my way back over to Jon, who was standing near the edge of the island, keeping watch. 

"Do you think we'll survive this?" I ask as I move to stand next to him. 

"I don't know."

That night was freezing, and once morning rolled around, it didn't get much better. Thoros had passed during the night, and Beric burned his body with his flaming sword. 

We were all cold and hungry. Our eyes remained on the threat across the lake. They were unmoving and silent, something that became frightening after spending a whole night with their staring. Jon was trying to be hopeful, saying that Gendry had made it to Eastwatch by now and that Daenerys would be here any moment. But as the hours dragged on, we were all losing faith. 

I was staring across the lake at one of the wights who was missing half of his face when I saw him. 

There, standing halfway between the island and the wights, was Robb Stark. He was older than when I last saw him. The scruff on his face had grown into a beard. He was a harder man who looked a bit more like his father than he used to. I took a couple of steps forward to meet with him on the ice, but a hard jerk on my arm kept me in place. 

I whipped my head around to face Jon, who was looking at me like I'd gone mad. And maybe I had. I turned back to look at Robb on the ice, but he changed. Now it was Hope who stood there in his place. Her silver hair was pulled back into a single braid, and she was wearing a dress of purple lace. She was so pale and pure. I wanted to run to her and hold her as I did in Ramsay's prison. 

"What are you looking at?" Jon asks. I don't answer and continue to stare at the little girl. Our little girl. 

Jon was debating whether he should shake her or not. She was staring at something on the ice. Her eyes were fogged over, and her gaze seemed vacant. He set his hands on the sides of her shoulders and gripped them tightly. 

"Don't you see her?" she asked in a voice that mirrored a whisper. Jon glanced again at the frozen over patch, but he saw nothing. 

"See what?" he asked, desperately trying to see what she saw. She didn't answer and instead moved her head back to face Jon. 

"Nothing...It's probably just hunger getting the best of me" she mumbled with a forced smile. Jon let go of her shoulders, allowing her to walk back to the middle of the small frozen island. Jon glanced across the ice and looked at the wights lined up surrounding them. His gaze shifted to Clegane, who was throwing rocks at some of the dead men. 

Jon watched as a rock flew from Clegane's hand and into the jaw of a white walker, breaking it off without the wight so much as flinching. Clegane launched another stone at the wights and Jon watched as it fell short and slammed into the ice and skidded across the slick surface until it stopped at the wight's feet. The lake had frozen back over, and the walkers knew it. 

Jon watched in horror as a few started to slowly make their way across the ice and towards their tiny island. 

"Emelya!" Jon called looking over his shoulder. She turned around to face him, and her gaze immediately landed on the incoming walkers. She quickly pulled out her sword and moved to stand by his left side. 

"Stay close to me?" he asked as he pulled out his sword. 

"Always," she told him with what could have been a sad smile. He gave a sad smile in return and turned to face the incoming threat. 

He prayed to the old gods, begged them to let them live. Or at the very least to let her survive. 

The first couple of wights were easy to kill because they were alone. But after a couple of minutes, they started to attack in waves. Hundreds and hundreds of wights came pouring towards them, and Jon was trying his best to concentrate. He wanted nothing more than to be able to turn his head to the side to check on her. But if he did, he was likely to get stabbed by one of the wights. When there was a small break in between waves of wights Jon moved to the top of the small hill where their captured wight was, and pulled it away from the fray, shouting for everyone to fall back. 

When Emelya got the chance, she moved to Jon's left side facing the edge of the cliff where one of the free folk had fallen into the wights. She and Jon began cutting down the wights who were trying to climb up the edge of the drop. 

For a moment, the world seemed to stop and slow down before Jon's very eyes. They were surrounded by wights, with no hope of escape. They were going to die here. He looked to his left, where the love of his life was fighting beside him. How could he let her come here? How could he let himself lead her to their slaughter? At the very least they would die together. 

After she finished with a white walker, she turned to look at Jon. She looked at him like he was the only thing left in the world. He gave her a soft smile, and she mirrored it, but hers was sadder than he was. She lowered her sword and stepped towards him, closing the gap between them. She placed her right hand on his cheek, warming him up before she moved her hand to lay on top of his fur covered chest. 

"I love you," she told him as she gazed up into his eyes. 

"I love you too," he replied and moved down to connect their lips for what was probably the last time. Her lips were sweet and soft as they always had been and warm like the sun. He could feel her tears against his cheeks and how they almost burned his skin. He could feel a couple of his tears slipping down his cheeks. 

But before they could break away for what Jon thought would be their last breaths, a rain of dragon fire burned the wights surrounding them. They broke away, embracing one another as they looked up at the dragons circling them overhead. 

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My sister had come with the dragons to rescue us. They circled overhead, burning what wights they could as Dany and Drogon landed on the ice near the island. Jon and I defended the others as they all climbed onto Drogon's back. Visenya was circling over me as much as she could, burning any white walkers that got too close. I watched as all the men climbed on and then I glanced at Jon who was staring at the Night King. I glanced over at the Night King and saw him pull out what looked like an icy spear. Realization dawned on my face, and Jon's as well as he turned to face us. 

"GO!" he screamed, swinging his sword frantically trying to get back over here and swinging his sword.

I looked up at Dany and the others as she offered her hand to me. I glanced back at Jon before looking back at my sister. 

"I can't leave him," I said a bit frantically. Before my sister could argue the Night King threw his spear, and we all watched as the spear flew through the air and pierced Viserion. The dragon cried as blood gushed out of him, and he crashed into the icy lake. 

"GO!" I screamed at her and shouted for Visenya to do the same as I turned to Jon. 

The moment my eyes landed on his a group of white walkers ambushed him. Jumping onto him and pushing him back into the frozen lake. I screamed, dropping my sword and ran after him, launching myself into the cold water. My heart stopped in my chest as I hit the water. 

I saw Jon a few feet below me, being dragged to the bottom of the lake by the wights. I was able to swim down and help him fight off the wights that were clinging to his furs. I grabbed his hand as my lungs started to burn and tried my best to pull him to the surface. But I couldn't get their fast enough. I gasped for air, and the water came pouring down my throat. My head was starting to get foggy when I felt his hand pulling the collar of my furs up with him. I coughed and gasped for air as my bare hands clawed at the icy surface. 

I was able to get out of the water first with Jon's help. The air made me feel the cold even more and smothered what little fire I had. I stood up and turned around to help Jon out of the freezing water. I was about to bend down when I was stabbed on my lower right side, through the back. I cried out and fell to my knees in pain. Jon set his sword on the ice and used it to help him out. I grabbed the sword I had dropped a few feet away from the ice and turned onto my back, stabbing the wight as it moved to cut me again. 

I dropped my sword next to me, wincing in pain as Jon dropped to his knees on my right side. 

"No, no no," he mumbled, moving a shaking hand to the wound. I could feel the blood leaving my body. The warm substance was staining the ice underneath me. I was going in and out of consciousness, trying my best to concentrate on Jon's eyes. 

"Jon," I whispered in a broken voice. 

"No, you can't leave me..." he said as I started to fade. 

Jon had never felt this much fear in his life. She was bleeding heavily, and she was fading fast. She was going to die right before his eyes, with him powerless to stop it. 

"Come on." 

Jon was pulled to his feet by a man in a dark cloak towards a horse. 

"Not without her," Jon said sternly, motioning towards her. The man pulled back his hood, revealing his face to Jon. 

"Uncle Benjen?" Jon asked, unable to fully process what exactly it was he was seeing. 

"Get on the horse. I'll get her" Benjen ordered, getting Jon close enough to grab the horses reins. Jon watched as he picked up the bleeding girl and her sword and laid her on the horse with her back to Jon's chest.

"Come with us," Jon croaked, the cold starting to make him dizzy and lose his voice. 

"It won't hold three, now go!" Benjen shouted, smacking the horses rear. Jon wrapped his left arm tightly around Emelya's frame as the horse took off towards the wall. Jon was able to hold onto consciousness just long enough to see his uncle Benjen get swarmed by the wights, but after that, everything went dark. 

"My Queen" Jorah called softly. 

Daeneary's stood on one of the platforms overlooking the haunted forest. She was searching and scanning the woods for any sign of her sister and Jon. She was so focused on trying to find them that she barely registered Jorah standing behind her. 

"Khaleesi," he called again. 

"Just a little bit longer," she whispered, as Drogon, Visenya, and Rhaegal circled over the forest. They both stood in silence for a few moments more before Dany started to turn away. Just as she was about the exit the platform, the horn was sounded. Dany quickly moved back and looked down, seeing a dark horse and two riders...with a trail of blood behind them. 

They were able to get both Jon and Rhaella onto the ship and into cabins. Dany stayed by her sister's side as the East Watch maester came into her cabin and started to clean the wound and bind it, tears coming to her eyes when the maester said she would live. She watched as he gave her milk of the poppy and told Dany that she would sleep for a few days. Afterward, Dany made her way to Jon's room, knowing her sister would want her to make sure he was okay. 

He was waking up as Daenearys entered the room and moved to his right side. He was blinking slowly before realization crossed his eyes.

"Is she?" He asked softly, fear in his eyes.

"She's alive, the maester said she'll be asleep for a couple of days," Daenearys said, slowly taking a seat on his bedside. 

Jon moved his hand forward to squeeze Daeneary's hand. 

"I am so sorry about everything. If I could go back, we wouldn't have gone" 

"No...I'm glad you did. I needed to see it," she replied, blinking away the tears that started to well up in her eyes. 

"These dragons are the only children I will ever have, and my sister...she is all the family I have left, do you understand?" she asks. Jon nods slowly. 

"We will destroy this Night King together. I will fight with you," she pledged with a teary-eyed smile. 

"Thank you, Dany," he replied with a soft smile. 

"The last man to call me that was my brother Viserys," she said. 

"I'm sorry, maybe My Queen would be more appropriate," he said softly. Her eyes went wide at the sound of her title. 

"What will the Northern Lords think?" she asks. 

"They'll come to see you for the good person that you are, just as your sister has helped me to see it," he answers, making her smile. 

"About what I said in the caves...I should never have tried to use my sister against you...or you against her" Dany admits, causing Jon to give her a confused look. 

"She didn't tell you?" Dany asks in surprise. 

"Tell me what?" he asks. 

"About the offer I was going to make you...before all of this happened. I was going to offer you my sister's hand in marriage, in exchange for my allegiance and the North's allegiance," she said. Jon immediately pulled his hand away from her's. 

"You were going to make her pick a side?" he asked. 

"I didn't mean it to turn out that way but..." 

"I think you should go...I need to rest after everything that's happened," Jon said stiffly. Dany rose to her feet immediately and moved towards the door. 

"I'm sorry," she said softly as she left the room. 

After a day or two of sailing, Jon was able to gather the strength to rise from his bed and make his way to Emeyla's cabin. He stumbled down the halls and steps, bracing himself against the walls from time to time. Eventually, he made it to her cabin door, half naked with his furs draped haphazardly around him. He almost fell into her room as he opened up the door, the ship seeming to jerk about underneath his feet. He was able to stumble into the chair on the left and take a shaky seat. Once he was settled, his eyes landed on the sleeping form in front of him. 

She was pale, paler than usual. Her hair was out of its usual braid and instead was cascading around her, the silver hair framing her face and making her seem all the paler. There was a scratch on her left cheek that was mostly healed. Aside from a few bruises on her arms, Jon couldn't see any wounds. Part of him wanted to believe that he only dreamed about her getting stabbed, but he knew better. 

He sat and watched her, checking to make sure that her chest was still moving. He didn't know how long he sat there, wrapped up in his furs watching her. He must have dozed off at some point because he jerked in his seat when he felt her fingertips brush against his hand. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," she mumbled, looking at him with a lazy smile. He pulled his chair closer to her and grasped her fragile hand in his. 

"How are you feeling?" he asks, rubbing his thumbs over the tops of her warm hands. 

"Alive" she stated simply with a slight laugh.

"Gods Jon you're hands are freezing," she said, pulling her hand away from his. She scooted away from him, making room in the bed for him to join her. 

"You're still healing. I couldn't..."

"Please? You're freezing, and I've missed having you in bed with me," she offered, doing her best to pull back the covers. He didn't bother arguing with her, knowing he would lose that battle. Instead, he climbed in next to her, adding the furs that were covering him to her pile. She laid her head on his chest, and Jon's body instantly relaxed as her warmth started to radiate through him. 

They laid together in silence, both having too much to say to the other, but neither wanting to be the first to speak. As the silence started to become too much to bear, Jon broke the silence. 

"I'm so sorry. We shouldn't have gone," he stated. 

"No...we probably shouldn't have. But we need to," she replied, slowly moving to face him, wincing in pain the entire time. When she was facing him, Jon moved his hand to cup her cheek, brushing away a few tears with his thumb. 

"Your sister told me about her offer..." he mumbled. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she said quickly. 

"Don't be...I understand how hard it must have been...choosing a side, and I want you to know I would never ask you to choose between your sister and me," he says. 

"I would have chosen you..." she admits, her tears flowing more freely. A smile flashed on his lips. She smiled through her tears, and Jon had never seen her look more beautiful. 

"Marry me."

She was taken aback at the statement and looked at him, feeling more confused than ever. 

"I couldn't...I can't. After this, I don't know if I can have children, I couldn't give you a family or heirs. You're a King," she mumbled. 

"I don't care about all of that...I don't need children or heirs or titles. I just need you by my side," he said, brushing some hair away from her face. 

"When we get back to Winterfell...will you marry me?"


	29. Chapter 29

I had slept for two days, and yet my body felt like I hadn't slept in weeks. I was limping. Every step I took seemed to pull on my bandaged wound and would cause pain to radiate throughout my body. Dany had left for Dragonstone on her dragon after I swore her to secrecy about my injuries. Well, secrecy aside from Tyrion and Varys. We were set to arrive in King's Landing in a day or two, and I was trying my best to seem presentable. 

Jon helped me to the deck of the ship despite his disapproval at me leaving my bed. I told him that I needed to practice walking for when we arrived. I had to seem perfect in front of Cersei. I couldn't give her anything to find fault with. I had to show her that I had learned how to play the game and that I was about to win it. Jon was sitting on one of the crates as I slowly paced back and forth across the ship, trying my best to mask my pain and to walk normally. But I couldn't. It wasn't just my wound, my right leg that had never healed properly was hindering me too. 

"Oh, seven hells!" I cursed as I stumbled yet again. I was barefoot dressed only in my leathers and I was tripping over air. How could I walk in front of Cersei with shoes in a dress?

"You were stabbed two days ago, you need time to rest" Jon called. 

"We don't have time, I don't have time. We'll be in King's Landing in a day, I can't look...broken" I mumbled trailing off. 

"You are not broken," he says sternly, rising to his feet to stand in front of me. 

"Look at me, Jon...I can barely stand up straight, let alone walk all the way from the docks of King's Landing to the dragon pits" 

He took my hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze. He looked at me, his brows furrowed only slightly to signal his concentration. It was a difficult task. I couldn't ride in on Visenya, getting on and off of her was guaranteed to reopen my wound and cause unimaginable amounts of pain. Being carried in by a litter was too pompous and made me seem above everyone else. 

"You are a Princess, why don't you ride in on a mare?" he suggests. 

"I've told you before Jon, horses don't like me very much. They'd likely buck me off the moment I got on" 

"We'll find a strong horse that isn't easily spooked when we arrive in the city. You can ride, at the very least to the outskirts of the dragon pits" he offers. 

"I'll need help getting on and off"

"I can help with that, but for now it's the best idea we have," he says his eyes softening as he looked at me. 

"I'll still need to walk to my seat, in front of Cersei and everyone else" 

"I'll escort you," he says, offering up his arm for me to take. I smile as I take his arm and he leads me back and forth across the ship. The first couple of times were difficult. I would stumble and almost fall from time to time and Jon would need to help steady me. After five or six times Jon was able to predict when I was about to stumble or when my leg would go weak and he'd be able to subtly offer me support. Soon enough I was able to cross the ship without wincing or openly limping. 

We stopped and Jon helped me back down to my cabin for some much-needed rest. I opened the door and before I could step inside Jon scooped me up in his arms making me laugh. He carried me across the room and laid me gently down on the bed. He was about to move away when I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him towards me, connecting our lips. 

It felt like it had been ages since we'd done this. He gently crawled on top of me, both of us laughing during the kiss as he did so. He balanced his weight on his arms by my head as we kissed. Once we broke away for air, I looked down at his shirt and quickly started undoing the laces. 

He moved his hand to cup my cheek, stopping my simple action. 

"You're still healing...I don't want to hurt you" he says, moving his thumb across my cheek. 

"You won't...you'll be gentle...but please Jon...I need you" I begged looking up into his chocolate eyes. 

He stared at me, a smile moving to his lips before his lips came crashing down onto mine. My hands moved back to his shirt, frantically tugging off the material. Once his shirt was gone our lips broke apart. We very slowly and somewhat awkwardly changed positions so I was straddling his waist. The action pulled on my wound but only slightly. I ran my hands down his toned chest, taking my time to trace over his scars. I traced down to the waistline of his pants, but before I could move my hand further down he sat up and moved his hands to the front of my shirt, slowly untying the laces. 

I looked down between us, watching his hands in fascination as they undid the front laces. His hands then moved gently to the bottom of my shirt and slowly helped me out of it. I watched as his gaze traveled to my bandaged wound on my right side. It had bled through the binding a little, but nothing that required immediate attention. I moved my right hand to lift up his chin to look back at me. Once he did I kissed his cool lips. His right hand moved to the back of my loose hair, tugging on it gently. I tilted my head back and moaned as his lips met my neck. The cool feel of his lips shocking my senses as his lips trailed down. His left hand moved up to cup my right breast, gently massaging it as he continued to move his lips down. 

I closed my eyes in pleasure and absolute bliss. I moved my left hand to the back of his hair, tugging his knot loose and running my fingers through it as his lips moved to my left breast. His left arm wrapped around my waist, allowing me to bend back as he sucked and nibbled and kissed my sensitive chest. I bit my lip hard, trying to contain my moans as he moved his lips to my other breast. Once he was finished his lips moved back up to connect with mine in a passionate, frenzied kiss. His hands moved down to my britches and slipped them along with my small clothes off my body. I maneuvered my body as best I could to help him. 

Once they were gone I moved my hands down to untie the laces of his pants. I moved so he could tug them off and then it was just us. Skin against skin with his heart beating in time with mine. For a moment we just looked at one another. Him holding me with my arms draped loosely about his shoulders. I was getting lost in his eyes and the way he was looking at me. He looked at me like I was the air he breathed. Like I was the only thing tying him to this world. It was a look that both terrified me and excited me because I knew I was looking at him in exactly the same way. 

He moved his hand down between us and shifted himself so he was at my entrance. I kept looking in his eyes as I slowly took him inside of me, but I couldn't for very long before the pleasure consumed me, making my eyes close and a moan leave my lips. He made me feel complete, especially when we were together like this. 

He wrapped his arms around me and gently rolled us over so I was back on my back with him hovering over me. He gently thrust into me and I was completely lost in him. He took his time with his movements, staring into my eyes as he made sure I felt every inch. My hands moved to his back, my nails lightly digging into his flesh as he made a particularly hard thrust. I moved my right hand to his cheek, lightly bringing his face closer to mine so our lips could meet. 

Our lips danced together and I could feel myself reaching the end with him. I could feel myself clenching around him and he moved his lips away from mine, placing his head in the right crook of my neck, grunting against my skin. I moaned in pleasure as we both came undone. He lazily placed kisses around my collar bone before resting his head in the valley of my breasts, moving his body so that only the top half of him was laying on me. 

As we lay there catching our breath I ran my fingers through his unruly curls. His hair had gotten long and was full of knots, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed the feel of his head laying against my chest. Of being totally lost in him, but it didn't exactly feel like I was lost. It was just me and him, the ship, the dragons, our scars, they all just faded away. 

We both ended up falling asleep and I woke up sometime later with my head on Jon's chest and his arm draped loosely around me, holding me close to him. 

I slowly moved to sit up, cringing in pain at the simple action. I watched Jon's eyes flutter open with a touch of a smile on his lips as he looked at me. 

We arrived in King's Landing early the next day. The Lannister army was out and ready to meet us. The Unsullied and Dothraki had arrived earlier and were already lined up outside the city walls. They were waiting and prepared to attack if any harm should come to our party. 

I was wearing a dark red dress, different from my silks, with my black cape draped over my shoulders. I was wearing boots that came up to the knee of my legs. I had my three-headed dragon broach on my right up by my shoulder, keeping my cape in place. My direwolf pendant was tucked safely under my dress, while I wore my ring proudly on my finger. My hair was loose but braided in the Dothraki fashion. A braid for each victory. 

I exited my cabin and shakily made my way to the top deck of the ship once I was ready.

I arrived on the top deck to see our small party getting ready to depart. Grey Worm and Missandei were talking by the side of the ship. Tyrion and Varys were whispering to one another and glancing at me. No doubt my sister had told them about my injuries. They needed to see me at full strength just as Cersei needed too. In the center stood Jon, looking out over the other side, towards the town. 

My legs trembled a bit as I walked over to him. He looked at me and smiled as I moved to stand by his side. 

"You look beautiful," he tells me smiling as he looks me over. 

"Like a princess?" I ask with a hopeful smile.

"Like a Queen" he replies, making me blush. 

"You look like you're waiting for something" I mumbled, moving to look out over the town as well. 

"Only for that" he answers. I glance at him confused before I turn back to look out over the town. There was a man walking towards us, leading a white mare to our ship. As the man got closer he started to become more familiar in his features. As he got closer to the boat he passed off the mare to one of the Dothraki to hold as he raced up to me. 

"Monell?" I called in surprise as he ran up and embraced me in a gentle hug. I winced in pain as he wrapped his arms around me, causing Jon to step in and make Monell back away. 

"She's still healing," Jon told him sternly. 

"How are you doing Princess?" Monell asks, completely ignoring Jon. 

"I'm not dead. What are you doing here? I thought you'd still be on Dragonstone" I ask. 

"When the Queen returned and told us what happened I loaded up my crew and sailed straight for King's Landing to see you," he tells me looking at me with caring eyes. 

"Yes well, I'm fine. Hardly a scratch" I reply with a smile that felt much too big and forced. Monell's caring look turned into a confused one. 

"There were rumors that-"

"Yes and that's all they were, rumors. I'm fine, really" I say cutting him off with another large smile. 

"If you say so, Princess" he mumbles, stepping back to give me a respectful bow before moving off the ship and back down towards the horse. 

"Why didn't you tell him?" Jon asks offering me his arm. 

"No one knows about my...injury, aside from you and Daenerys, and I'd like it to stay that way" I explain quietly as we start moving off the ship and towards the horse Monell had brought for me. 

"Jon do you have-"

"I have it on my other hip," he says quickly with a smile. I had wanted to carry Black Sister with me today, but it likely would have made my injury worse. 

"Thank you" I reply. Even if Jon was carrying it, having my weapon close by gave me some comfort. 

Once we reached the horse, Jon gently placed his hands on my waist, being sure to avoid my wounds. He lifted me up onto the mare and placed a hand on my leg in reassurance as I adjusted myself. I draped my cape behind me and made sure my dress was properly in place before I grabbed the reins. I turned to look down at Jon who was smiling at me. 

"You'll stay close?" I ask, trying my best to keep my nerves out of my voice. 

"Always" he answers, giving my leg a squeeze. I urge the horse to turn towards the main road and it does in an awkward, almost nervous fashion. 

I begin the long walk to the dragon pits, with everyone the rest of the party trailing behind me. The horse went no faster than a walk, but I was grateful I didn't have to walk. Even now the jostling bouncing motion of the horse was making my sore muscles and wounds ache. 

I did my best to hold my head up high. To hold in and bite back my winces. In my mind, I was a strong warrior queen. I was Visenya Targaryen. I was a conqueror. I kept these words in my mind as I continued down the pathways. With each step the horse took, I could feel a fit of anger starting to boil inside of me. These people took a potential life from me. If the Lannisters hadn't ridden to Winterfell all those years ago. If Cersei hadn't locked me up like a pet and if I wasn't forced to run, my daughter might be here with me. Robb, Caitlyn, and Rickon might still be alive. Ned might be here. Jon wouldn't have left for the wall and we would have been happy. 

The horse was starting to become nervous underneath me. It wasn't walking as straight and kept shaking its head and whinnying.

"Princess are you alright?" I heard Monell call from behind me. 

"Fine" I answered with a huff, doing my best to calm down. I took a deep breath. 

In the end, I suppose these things needed to happen. If they didn't happen, I would have never crossed the narrow sea. I wouldn't have gotten Visenya or have met Monell and my sister. I wouldn't have discovered who I am. All these horrible things, shaped me, as much as I hated every minute of it. I took another deep breath and I could feel my almost boiling anger start to simmer, which caused my horse to relax. 

We arrived at the pits and made our way towards the entrance. As we did so the Lannister army started to approach. Jamie Lannister with his golden hand was walking near with Brienne walking alongside him. Both armies stopped to face each other. Neither of us was sure if we would be reaching for our blades. If one of us had laid out a trap. Thankfully it didn't seem like it. 

"Ah, Queen Daenerys. Forgive me but I thought you'd be riding a dragon instead of a horse?" Jamie Lannister calls out to me with an almost mocking tone. 

"You're mistaken. I am not the Queen, I'm her sister. I don't know why I thought you would recognize me" I call out with a forced smile. He gave me a confused look and moved to step closer, but the Unsullied moved their spears and prepared to strike him if he took a step closer. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. I may not be a Queen but I do believe threatening a Princess is just as bad" I called out to him. He looked at me with realization washing over his face. 

"The Targaryen girl that Ned Stark was hiding. Yes, I remember you" he mumbles. 

"Princess Rhaella Targaryen of House Targaryen. Second of my name. Rightful Princess to the Andals and the First men. There's a lot more but I do believe you understand what my proper titles are?" I quip, raising my eyebrow. 

"Cersei is my Queen, not your sister. You have no titles to me, aside from that girl who couldn't handle a little cold" he retorts. 

"I'd watch your tongue. I may not be the Queen, but threatening her sister would probably yield the same result" I snapped. I could see him clenching his jaw and the angry look in his eyes, but thankfully he stayed silent. 

"The entrance is this way," he said, gesturing his arm towards further around the structure. I gave him and his men another forcefully sweet smile. I called for the Unsullied to lower their spears and I urged my horse forwards towards the entrance. 

I had passed my first test, at least I think I did. However, I knew that Cersei would be a much harder person to pacify. Thankfully it wasn't my job to pacify her. 

Once we reached the entrance of the dragon pits, I brought my horse to a halt, causing the rest of our party to halt as well. I carefully swing my leg over to my right as Jon approaches. I rest my hands on his shoulders as he helps me down off the horse. I could feel my body flinch under his touch. I was sore, and in so much pain I wanted nothing more than to run back to my cabin and rest.

"You're doing great" Jon whispered to me as he set me down. His eyes were encouraging and I tried my best to mirror the smile he gave me. His smiles were starting to seem more and more forced these days, just like mine. 

He offered me his arm and I took it happily, allowing him to escort me into the dragon pits. 

We walked a bit slowly, Jon and I being the first ones to enter the pits. The surrounding walls were crumbling around us. The place looked abandoned, aside from the seating set up in the middle. There were three awnings set up. One for the King in the North, Cersei and for my sister the Queen. I had a decision to make. Would I sit with Jon and align myself with the North? Or would I sit on my sister's right, and present myself as the future Queen I was supposed to be. 

The decision was made the moment I stepped foot inside the pits. There wasn't even a decision to make. Jon led me to the awning across from his own. Once I took my seat, Jon kissed the top of my hand before turning around to go to his own seat. The moment he sat down he turned into his father. Ned Stark sat across from me with a tired look on his face. I did my best to remain calm and took in a deep breath. The moment I let that breath go, Ned, was sitting across from me. That hard fatherly look adorning his face. A look much like Jon's. He was staring at me in a way that made chills run through my spine. An instant later he was gone and Jon was sitting in his place. I could see him looking at me with worried eyes. 

I forced another smile on my face to try and reassure him that I was okay, but I knew he didn't buy it. I watched as the others started streaming in and moving towards their perspective awnings. Tyrion, Greyworm, and Missandei walked towards me, while Davos and Brienne moved towards Jon. 

Tyrion took a seat on what would be Dany's left, giving me a curious look as he walked past me. We all sat there in silence for a while. I'm sure Tyrion had questions for me, but I couldn't answer any of them just yet. Not when I was trying to present myself in an almost perfect way. 

We didn't have to wait very long for Cersei to make her entrance. She walked into the pits, her once long blonde hair was cut short and a crown was on her head. She wore a long black dress and her army was marching in behind her. I watched as she passed in front of me with her party. She gave me a curious look before she moved to her own seat at the center awning. Once she took her seat her gaze turned to me with a sly smile on her lips. 

"I believe you have the wrong seat dear. Although you are only playing at being a Queen. Speaking of, where are your dragons? Or are you only pretending at that as well?" she asks with a smirk. 

I bring a smile to my lips as I turn to face her. 

"I am the Princess actually. We met many years ago, though I doubt you'd remember" I reply sharply. She looks at me in confusion before a realization washes over her face. 

"Ah yes, I remember. You're that scared little girl who couldn't handle the cold. The girl Robert took pity on and who played at being a lady" she taunted. I could feel the heat starting to rise from the pit of my stomach. I tried my best to hold my tongue for fear of what my temper might make me say. 

"Well, it is difficult to pretend to be a Lady when you are actually a Princess by right" I reply. 

She made an airy noise as if she was bored with me and looked away. She turned her gaze to Jon and his party. 

"Ah yes, and your lover if I'm not mistaken?" she says, the hint of a smirk on her face. I bite my tongue, not wanting to encourage her blatant rudeness. We wait in silence for a while more before Cersei speaks up again. 

"Where is she?" Cersei spits turning back to me. Before I can answer, the screeching of the dragons is heard. I smile as I see Cersei flinch in her seat at the noise. We all rise to our feet and I turn to see my sister circling the arena on Drogon's back. I smile as she lands and gets off of Drogon, walking over to her seat. Once she sits we all return to our seats. I bite back a wince as I feel the pain in my wound starts to throb. 

"We've been waiting here for some time" Cersei snaps at Dany. 

"My apologies" Dany replies with an easy smile. Sandor Clegane rises to his feet and walks over to the Mountain who is standing on Cersei's right. 

"What have they done to you brother?" Sandor spits before leaving to retrieve the wight. 

Tyrion rises to his feet to address the crowd when a man saunters into the arena. 

"Theon, I have your sisters. I'll kill them both unless you yield yourself to me" he spits. He turns to look at Tyrion who is looking at him in surprise. 

"What are you looking at dwarf?" he spits before going to his seat. 

I tune out the rest of the conversation. My eyes drift and land on Jon. I feel a wave of pain overcome me and I bite hard on the inside of my lip, trying my best to not show my weaknesses. I can vaguely comprehend what Jon is saying as he rises to his feet to begin his attempt to persuade Cersei. 

But as soon as Jon rises, a figure replaces him in his seat. This time it was Robb in the chair. I almost gasped at seeing him. He looked younger than before. His dark auburn hair catching in the light with that carefree smile on his lips. This was the boy I grew up with. 

I could feel my mind slipping to that day in Qarth. 

I was kidnapped by the warlocks from the House of the Undying, along with the dragons, forced to wander through the chambers for what I thought was going to be an eternity. The first door I walked through led me to what appeared to be a battleground. Soldiers were fighting soldiers and all around me was death. I looked around and there in the midst of battle was Robb, fighting it out with a Lannister soldier. I was shocked. Could this be real? Was Robb really here? He seemed to glance at me and looked at me shocked with wide eyes. His look pierced my heart before a second later he was gone again. 

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the thudding of the crate being turned on its side. I watched as Sandor pulled out his weapon and hesitantly broke off the lock of the box. The wight inside screeched and lunged forward, aiming its attack at Cersei. I saw her gasp and clutch her seat in fear before Sandor was able to restrain the creature with its chain. He yanked it hard, back to the center of the arena and sliced the creature in half as Jon stepped up again, his cloak of furs moving with his movements. The wights upper half was crawling towards Sandor, screeching in what I assumed to be anger. Sandor cut off its outstretched hand and Cersei's maester moved towards it with a look of fascination on his face as the hand withered around in his grasp. 

Jon stepped forward and took the hand from the man and grabbed a torch. 

"We can kill them with fire," he said as he brought the torch to the wight's hand, letting it burn a bit before dropping it. He pulls out a dragonglass dagger and walks over to the wight's upper half. 

"And we can kill them with dragonglass" he says, lifting up the wight's upper half and stabbing it in the heart, the creature's body instantly going limp. 

"That is the fate that every man, woman, and child in Westeros will face if we do not win the war that is to come" Jon states, his voice filling the arena. 

"All other conflicts pale in comparison to the Great War" he continues. 

"I didn't believe it myself until I saw them. An entire army of undead" Dany adds from her seat. 

"How many did you see?" Jamie asks from his place beside Cersei. 

"A hundred thousand at least" Dany replies, causing a look of horror to appear on Jamie's face. 

"Can they swim?" the rude man, Euron I believe asks. 

"No" Jon replies a bit dryly. Euron rises to his feet and turns to face Cersei. 

"I'm taking the iron fleet and we are going back to the Iron Islands. I have been all over the world and I've seen terrifying things, but nothing has terrified me as much as that thing there" he announces, turning to walk away. Before he does he moves over to my sister. 

"You should run back to your island, while I run back to mine. And when this is all over you come find me yeah?" He mumbles before moving and walking out of the arena. 

"I have terms" Cersei immediately states. I turn to look at her in surprise. I thought she might take more convincing than that. 

"I will not withdraw my armies. But they will not hinder any Targaryen or Northern forces during the battle to come" she states, refusing to look my sister in the eyes. Instead, she turns to look at Jon. 

"Jon Snow, you are King in the North and son of Ned Stark. I call on you to keep the truce and that you and the North remain neutral in any future conflicts to come" she continues. I look at Jon who looks at me with an apology already in his eyes. 

"I cannot serve two Queens and I have already pledged myself to the Targaryen claim" he responds. 

Cersei sits in a silent fury for a moment or two before abruptly rising to her feet. 

"Then there is nothing to discuss" she snaps and leaves with the rest of the Lannister entourage in tow. Everyone rises to their feet except me and I watch as Jon walks over with a sheepish look on his face. 

My sister walks over as well with a slightly annoyed look on her face along with Tyrion.

"While I appreciate your loyalty, maybe not making it known while we're trying to secure a truce?" Dany suggests with a bit of a bite in her words. 

"Yes, learning to lie might actually be a good skill to pick up on" Tyrion quips, anger in his voice. 

"If we leave here without an allegiance, everything we sacrificed, my dragon, my sister's wounds, everything will be made worthless" Dany says. Jon turns to look at me as she mentions me. 

"I understand that honesty was what got my father killed, but if no one is willing to speak the truth, then everyone's words are useless. Lies won't help us in the war to come" He says sternly, looking at Dany and Tyrion. He was defending his actions. 

"He's right" I reply making everyone turn to look at me. Tyrion gives me a curious look before turning back to my sister. 

"Allow me to go and speak with Cersei, try to appeal to her. Alone" he suggests. 

"Are you mad? She's just as likely to kill you the moment you step into the room" I say quickly. 

"If I don't at least try then everything we've done to get to this point will be for nothing. Please, at least let me try" he begs. Dany gives a heavy sigh. 

"Go" she replies. Tyrion gives a polite little bow and turns to follow the Lannister party. I slowly rise to my feet and start moving around the pits. I wander towards the outer edges where the bones are. 

After a few minutes alone, Jon walks over and joins me. 

"It's a shame what happened to the dragons" I mumble, my eyes roaming over the skulls and bones. 

"Here one day and gone the next. Like me and my sister...the last dragons. The Targaryen name will die with us" I continue, feeling tears start to well up in my eyes. 

"You don't know that for sure" Jon states, causing me to turn and face him. I force a smile to my lips. 

"You're right...I don't know for sure. But the odds are so slim. It's easier to believe the worst" I admit. 

"Maybe, but the worst may not be true, and even if it is what difference does it make?" he asks, moving closer and taking my hands in his. 

"You still haven't given me a clear answer," he says rubbing the tops of my hands with his thumbs. 

"I do love you, you know that. But with the war to come and everything that would come after...are you sure now is the right time?" 

"It'll never be the right time...but I'd rather face the Night King with you by my side...as my wife" 

I open my mouth to reply when Tyrion walks back through the gates and behind him was the Lannister party. We all walk back to our seats as Cersei returns to hers. 

"I will work with you. Not because I want to but because it is necessary for our survival" Cersei states. My sister begins to thank her but Cersei cuts her off. 

"I will not pull my troops back. I am not that naive. But I will march the Lannister army north to fight beside you. And when this is all over and done with you'll remember that you came to ask me and I sent my forces to aide you" she says. She rises back to her feet and leaves with the rest of the Lannisters. 

We arrived back in Dragonstone, all of us stationed around the painted table, discussing what we would do next. 

"It'll take two weeks to march the Dothraki and Unsullied north. I propose that Jon and the Unsullied sail to White Harbor to meet the Dothraki and march from there" Tyrion suggests.

"There may be some unhappy people who still feel strongly about Robert's Rebellion and think themselves a hero and tries to take out the Queen and Princess with an arrow. I think it would be best if the Queen and Princess rode to Winterfell on their dragons" Jorah says. 

"I think the Queen and Princess should ride with us, so the North knows them as liberators and allies" Jon counters. 

"He's right, but so is Jorah. I will leave for Winterfell on Drogon while Rhaella travels with Jon and the rest of our forces" Daenerys says. 

We spend the rest of the day gathering supplies and preparing to set sail for White Harbor. I spend most of the time resting in my room, my handmaids redressing my wound and packing my trunks. They help me to my cabin and begin unpacking a few things from my trunk before they leave for their own sleeping quarters. 

As it gets later I hear a knock on my door. I shakily rise to my feet and open the door, seeing Jon on the other side. I let him inside and move back to my bed, slowly sitting down. 

"How are you feeling?" he asks. 

"Tired, in pain...but I'm alright" I reply. He looks at me slightly concerned and takes a seat on my left. 

I lean my head against his shoulder and let out a heavy sigh. 

"So this is it...the Great War is almost upon us...And you're right. The time will never be right. I want us to face the Night King together. As husband and wife"


	30. Chapter 30

The boat ride seemed to take forever. Two weeks felt more like two years. It didn't help that I was sick most of the trip, meaning I spent most of the time in my cabin. Thankfully the sickness seemed to be caused by the sea and once we met up with the Dothraki in White Harbor I started feeling much better, if not still a little queasy in the mornings. It wasn't until we landed that I realized how much I missed the North. The crisp clean air. The cold breezes and the vast expanses of land. It was so beautiful 

We stayed a night in White Harbor and we were preparing to ride to Winterfell with the rest of our forces. It was early, early enough that the sun had yet to rise. I was laying in bed, having just barely woken up. I was on my back and I moved my right arm out, feeling the empty spot where Jon would normally lay. 

"Jon?" 

"I'm here" he mumbled from his spot at the foot of the bed. I sat up slowly, a bit confused at the time. I glanced at the covered window and saw only darkness.

"Why are you up?" I asked, slowly moving forward. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, in only his small clothes staring intently into the fire, his elbows were resting on his legs with his hands lightly clasped together in front of him. 

"I can't believe it's finally here..." he mumbles as I inch closer, resting on my knees behind him to his left. 

"That what's here?" 

"The Great War...I've been trying to prepare everyone for this war for years. Most of the time no one would listen. But now that the time has finally come, I don't know if...I'm ready" he admits. I scoot closer behind him and wrap my arms around his waist while I rest my chin on his left shoulder. 

"I don't think any of us are really ready" I mumble, placing a light kiss on his shoulder as I do so. 

"How can I prepare an entire castle for a battle against the dead if I can't prepare myself?" he asks, a bit of frustration in his voice. 

"It won't just be you preparing the castle" I offer, unsure of how to respond. 

"I'm their leader. The Northerners chose me to defend them-"

"And you are defending them"

"Really? By bringing in foreigners. I couldn't even prepare our small party when we went North to retrieve the wight. I couldn't even defend you from those creatures" he mumbles, trailing off at the end of his sentence. 

"There were hundreds of thousands of those things. You couldn't have prepared for something like that" I say pulling away from him. He turns around to face me with a heavy look on his face. 

"No, but I should have. If I was more prepared then we would have made it out without a scratch" he says, a look of pain in his eyes. 

"Jon, you got us out of an impossible situation. We survived, isn't that enough?" I ask. He turns back to look at the fire. 

"I don't know if it'll be enough this time" 

As everyone was getting ready to leave I made my way to the maester's home. I still wasn't feeling all that well and I had hoped he could give me some herbs to help calm my stomach. I walked over in my brown and black fur-lined dress with my white cape draped across my shoulders and the white fur-lined hood pulled up to cover my hair. Once I reached his house I knocked on the wooden door and waited patiently. 

I could hear him shuffling around and what sounded like the breaking of a pot. After a few minutes, the door opened, revealing a pale older man with a white mustache. 

"Hello dear, how can I help you?" he asked in a bit of a gruff voice. 

"I wanted to know if you had any tonics or herbs for the stomach?" I ask. 

"Ah yes, come in come in," he says opening the door wider, allowing me to step inside. 

I stepped inside the old man's home and took in the chaotic state. Bits of cloths, dirty bowls, and random herbs and plants were scattered about in what seemed to be organized chaos.

"My name is Ludlow, and as I'm sure you know I'm the maester of White Harbor, and what is your name dear?" he asks, beginning to sort through the piles of clutter. 

"Rhaella Targaryen sir" I reply, pulling back my hood. He turns and looks at me with wide eyes. 

"Your Majesty. Forgive me that I didn't recognize you sooner" he mumbles. 

"Isn't White Harbor pledged to house Stark?" I ask, turning as he pulls up some chairs from the clutter. 

"Yes, but I am pledged to serve whoever is in need of me," he says with a polite smile, offering me a seat. I smile back and take a seat as he takes a seat across from me. 

"Now, what seems to be troubling you my dear?" he asks. 

"I've been having stomach issues. I'm sick in the mornings and I haven't been able to really eat" I explain. 

"Hmm...let me see what I have in my stores" he mumbles, rising back to his feet and turning to dig through the mess of herbs on his table. I watch as he prepares a tea and walks back over to me. He offers it to me and I take it, but before I big the mixture to my lips I wrinkle my nose in disgust. 

"It smells terrible," I say. He eyes me curiously. 

"Tell me, dear, when was the last time you bled?" he asks. I can feel the heat rise into my cheeks. 

"About a month ago" I admit, lowering the cup of tea. 

"Hmm," he mumbles, taking the thing of tea from my hands. 

"What I made was a curious mixture with a couple of herbs from Dorne. Now the Dornish believe that if you mix these herbs just right they will produce an odor that only keen senses can detect" he explains. I furrow my brow in confusion, not completely sure when he meant. 

"Typically...only pregnant women can detect the smell," he says with a bit of a knowing smile. I laugh at the idea. 

"No, that's impossible" I reply, rising from my seat. 

"Was it only just recently you've been getting sick in the mornings?" he calls. 

"Yes...but we were on a very long boat ride. I'm sure it was just seasickness" I reply. 

"Of course...let me prepare you a mixture. You can put it in your tea and it should ease the sickness if it continues" he says, moving back to his pile of plants. 

I turn to look out the window, watching everyone begin loading up wagons and horses. I can see Jon, dressed up in his furs, making sure everyone was ready to go. 

I couldn't be pregnant. Even before my injury, we had been careful. Besides, even if I had been pregnant, getting cut by that wight should have...It just wasn't possible. 

I turned back around to face the maester who held up a small bag for me to take with a smile. I smiled back and thanked him for the herbs before leaving his home. I stood on the doorstep and pulled up my hood, making my way back to the inn that Jon and I were staying in. 

Most of my things were already packed up and ready to go. No doubt my handmaids had helped pack up my things. The room, for the most part, was empty. We were going to leave within the hour and I should have been out there helping everyone pack, but I just couldn't. I took off my cloak and draped it across a chair. I walked towards the dying fire in the fireplace and crouched down. I hovered my hand above one of the logs and summoned a flame to the palm of my hand. The flame danced from my hand to the log, reigniting the fire and instantly warming up the room. I stepped back and took a seat on the edge of the bed. 

My mind was so full of worries already. Worries of the Great War and the War from the Throne that would come after. I worried about my sister and Jon and everyone else in my life. I had no idea when the wights and Night King would attack and I wasn't sure we would survive it when it happened. Let alone how long the war afterward would last or if my sister would win it. Now there was this. A child. I didn't want to believe the maester or his methods for determining if I was with child, but he had his chains. If anyone would know if I was pregnant it would be him...

I looked up at the opening of the door. Jon walked in with bits of snow in his hair and cloak. He closed the door and turned to look at me. There was a bit of surprise in his eyes. No doubt he thought I was outside helping the others. 

"Where were you this morning?" he asks curiously. 

"Just went to the maester to get some herbs" I reply with a smile. 

"You're stomach is still bothering you?" he asks walking over to me. He crouches in front of me and takes my hands in his. 

"Only a little" I mumble squeezing his hands lightly in mine. He squeezes back and gives me a worried smile. 

"Are you ready?" he asks taking a deep breath. 

"Are you?" I reply. A bit of a smile tugs on his cheeks as he glances at our hands before looking back up at me. 

"No" he answers simply, making my smile grow all the more. 

"Neither am I" I answer. 

"Well we better get going...we can't leave everyone waiting," he says rising to his feet and helping me to mine. 

"Of course we can, it's not like we're the King and Queen" I reply making him chuckle. 

"You are my Queen, and that's all that really matters," he says kissing me gently on the lips. I smile as we break apart and move my hand to brush away some of his hair out of his eyes. 

"Well then my King, your kingdom awaits," I say in a bit of a joking tone, making his smile reach his eyes. He leads me out of the room and over to our horses that are already saddled up and ready to leave. 

He helps me onto my horse, and I try my best to mask the pain the simple action inflicts. I could feel my wound throbbing as the moving of my leg pulled on it. I sat and waited as Jon and some of the other Dothraki and Unsullied officers got their men inline. Then we began the march. Jon and I rode in the middle of the Unsullied with the Dothraki trailing behind us. We kept a steady pace as we rode up to the King's Road to Winterfell. I rode on Jon's right, watching as we got closer and closer. As we rode through the neighboring village the small folk stared up at me with curious looks. It was strange, riding through this town as a stranger. I remember riding into this town with Robb and Jon and Theon as kids. The adventures and fun we'd have. The townspeople would give me weird looks but I never noticed before. 

I was coming home a stranger which made me question, was it even home to begin with? 

"I warned your sister that the Northerners wouldn't be respective of foreigners" Jon mumbles. 

"This seems like a lot more than just being unwelcoming" I mumble back. As I finish my sentence there's a screeching heard of head and I can see a look of fear and terror on the townspeople. I glanced up and saw the dragons flying in, with my sister riding on Drogon's back. I smiled at the sight of the dragon's flying in overhead. It gave me comfort to see them. They made me feel safe and protected in a way that no one else could. 

The gates flung open as we began our ride into Winterfell. I imagined this is how the King arrived in Winterfell all those years ago. It made my stomach turn a bit at the thought. I could feel the old me rising to the surface. The one who hid all those years ago at the King's arrival. I felt myself shrink a bit in my saddle before I forced myself to sit up straight. I would not return here the girl I was, I was a Princess. A future Queen. 

We entered the innermost gate of Winterfell and standing there waiting was Sansa with Bran sitting beside her, along with some others scattered behind them. Jon dismounted quickly and moved towards Bran, engulfing him in a crushing hug. I heard a screech of a dragon and turned around in my saddle, seeing Drogon take off and my sister walk through the gates. 

I smile as I see Jon exchanging a few words with Bran and then hugging Sansa. I slowly slide off of my horse and make my way over. I walk over to Bran with a smile. He had grown so much from that boy I left in Winterfell. He gave a spacey smile in return. 

"Hello Emelya" he replies. I lean down and give him a hug, kissing him on the cheek as I move away to face him. 

"You've grown so much since I last saw you," I tell him, feeling a few tears prick my eyes. 

"I suppose I have" he answers in an emotionless voice. I turn to look at Sansa who is eyeing my sister with a curious queenly gaze. Dany walks over to us with a smile. 

"Sansa, this is my sister, Queen Daenerys. Dany, this is Sansa, Lady of Winterfell" I say introducing them with a polite smile. 

"You are even more beautiful than your brother and my sister described," Dany says happily. 

"Winterfell is yours, Your Grace" Sansa replies with a cool tone. I can see the smile on Dany's face falter. 

"Thank you" Dany replies. Sansa gives a forced smile in return. 

"You all must be tired. I've had rooms made up for you so you can...refresh yourselves before the meeting" Sansa announces before she turns and leaves. 

"She hates me" Dany whispers in my ear. 

"She just needs some time, that's all," I tell her. She glances over my shoulder and smiles. 

"Come find me before the meeting?" she asks. 

"Of course" I reply. She gives a dim smile and nods before making her way inside the castle. I turn around to look at Jon. 

"I think it went well," he says with a heavy sigh. 

"Time will tell," I say back with a smile. I'm about to say more when I feel something nuzzle my leg. I turn back around and see Winter behind me. 

"Hey girl," I say excitedly, leaning down to run my fingers in her fur. She nuzzles against me more, licking my cheek happily and pressing her cold nose in the crook of my neck, making me laugh. 

"I've missed you too," I tell her, trying my best to contain my laughter. 

I rise back to my feet, turning back towards Jon with a small smile on my face. He smiles back. 

"Should we go freshen up?" Jon suggests. I nod and follow him inside. A maid leads us up to the stairs, into the Lord and Lady's chambers. Everything is already made up and the fire is already providing a wonderful warmth to the room. On the bed are two fresh sets of clothes and there is a bowl on the vanity with cloths next to it. 

"The Lord's chambers. I suppose it should be the King's chambers now" I mumble walking over to the bowl. 

"The King's and Queen's chambers you mean" Jon replies walking up behind me and sets his hands on my waist. 

I smile as I allow myself to get lost in his embrace. I close my eyes for a moment before I break from his embrace and turn around to face him. 

"We need to get ready," I tell him, placing my hands lightly on the front of his chest. He smiles and bit, giving a slight nod before turning to the clothes on the bed. We cleaned up and got dressed in silence. I pulled on a furlined white dress with leather gloves, while Jon pulled on a fresh tunic and trousers, along with his black cloak. 

We made our way downstairs, with Jon's hand holding mine and helping me down the stairs. Just as we were about to enter the hall, I stopped. Jon turned back to look at me, with confusion in his eyes. I fiddled with my ring as I took a deep breath. 

"Are you sure you want me in there...by your side?" I ask, looking down at the ring on my finger. 

"You've been by my side before-"

"But this is different. You're telling them you bent the knee to my sister. Maybe it would be best to distance yourself from me. I'm sure that if I walk in with you the people will think that I seduced you into it or that I bewitched you into following my sister" I babble. He gives me a soft look, a small smile on his lips. 

"Who cares what the people will think? You're going to be my Queen, and I want you by my side. No matter the cost" he replies, stepping forward and taking my hands. He squeezes them in reassurance, before letting them go. He walks back over to the entrance and offers me his hand. I step forward hesitantly, slowly placing my hand in his. 

We enter the hall. Jon's hand in mine as he leads me to my seat. The hall rises when we enter, but I could feel the tension in the air. As I looked around I could see the men I once called companions were giving me angry looks. Dany was seated at the end of the head table on the far left. Jon was in the middle, and I was on his right with Sansa on his left and Dany seated next to Sansa. 

Jon remained standing while the rest of us took our seats. Immediately the hall disrupted into chaos. Lyanna Mormont was able to settle the crowd as she spoke. 

"We made you our King and you left. You left and you bent the knee to a foreigner. Why?" she questions, anger in her voice. 

"You made me your King, but I never wanted to be one. But I would do whatever it took to protect the North. My home. Now we know what's coming, and we know that we have no hope of defeating it without allies" he states in a commanding voice. He may not have wanted to be a King, but he played the part of one perfectly. 

"When you left me in charge I didn't think I'd need to prepare extra provisions to feed her army of over a hundred thousand men, all their horses, and three dragons. What do dragons even eat anyways?" Sansa scoffs, a bitter tone in her voice. 

"They eat whatever they want" Dany replies with an even tone. 

"If it wasn't for Jon, your King. We'd probably all be dead. The remaining Lannister army will be arriving soon to reinforce our armies" Tyrion states from the side of the hall. At his statement, the rest of the hall goes into a frenzy. The Northern lords seeming to be even angrier than before.

With a heavy sigh, I rise to my feet. 

"Silence! All of this arguing is pointless when it comes to the Undead Army!" I shout, causing the room to fall into silence. 

"And why should we listen to you?!" one of the northern lords shouts, creating a chorus of agreement around him. 

"Because she is your future Queen" Jon snaps back. There is a collective mumbling throughout the room. Looks of shock coming from Tyrion, Monell, and my sister, along with everyone else in the hall. 

"Her?! You couldn't choose someone from the North? One of your own?" another man shouts. 

"I am from the North" I reply, trying my best to keep my temper. I quickly look over everyone in the room, making sure I have their full attention before I continue. 

"I may not have been born here, but I was raised here. I was brought up by Lord Eddard Stark in this very castle. He taught me the way of the North, the Old Ways. And I followed them. For 16 years I lived and grew here. I may not have the Northern blood running through my veins but I am just as much a Northerner as anyone else here" I state. The room remains silent for a good while after I finish. Slowly they start filing out of the room until it's only the ones at the head table and the rest of Dany's entourage. 

Tyrion storms over to the table and slams his hands down. 

"Don't you think it would have been wise to tell us first of your plans to marry before announcing it to the entire North?" he hisses in anger as I take a seat with a heavy sigh. 

"Our...intentions, do not concern you" Jon replied, a bit of a bite in his voice. 

"They do when you're the King and Princess" Tyrion snaps back, looking between the two of us. 

"When did you decide this?" Sansa asks from her seat, staring off into the distance as if we didn't exist. 

"A couple of weeks ago, maybe more?" I answer, beginning to fiddle with my ring. 

"Weeks? You've known that you were going to do this for weeks and you didn't tell me?" Dany asks with a hurt look in her eyes as she walks over. 

"I'm sorry I didn't clue you in so you could find a way to come between us" I snap at her. She looks a bit surprised at my tone, but she remains silent. 

"Since you announced it to just about everyone in the North...it's done. If anything a wedding might help cheer everyone up before the battle" Tyrion mumbles. 

"Can we discuss this later? There are more important things to take care of than party planning" I grumble. 

"Of course, we can speak later tonight and you can divulge any other secrets that might jeopardize your sister," Tyrion says smartly before walking away, along with Jorah, my sister, and Monell. 

Sansa quickly rises to her feet, exiting the room in silence. 

I stand up as well. Jon turns to look at me with a heavy sigh. 

"Well that could have been worse" he states.

"I can't see how" I mumble back. 

"How about a walk?" he suggests. I nod. It would be nice to take a walk. Even if everyone treated me like a stranger this was still my home. 

I followed him outside and took his arm in mine. We walked in silence, outside the walls and towards the Wolves Wood. Everything was covered in snow. A world of white. I couldn't remember the last time I spent a winter in Winterfell. I forgot how beautiful everything was. The way the light would reflect off the snow. The soft, powdery white seeming to be delicately painted onto the leaves and branches of the trees. The ground being untouched, without a single blemish across the cold surface. Part of me longed to sink my bare feet into the snow, my current attire making me too hot. I felt trapped in my own clothing. 

We started making our way towards the Godswood. The red leaves of the Wirewood tree seemed to glow in the world of white. I stopped for a moment once I saw who was there. There, leaning against the tree with an easy smile was Robb, and sitting on the ground beside him was little Rickon. They both were smiling at me, a smile that sent chills down my spine. Jon who continued forward, turned around to look at me. But I couldn't meet his eyes. I was too busy looking at Robb, who was staring at me. His once easy look starting to turn dark.

"What is it?" Jon asks, but I couldn't bring myself to answer. Even if I could I knew it would sound mad. 

"Just thinking..." I mumble back, trying to will the boys to disappear from under the tree. 

"About?" Jon prods, trying his best to get me to open up. 

"This was the last place I spoke to Robb" I reply, as we continue walking towards the tree. Jon stays silent. 

"I think about him a lot. About how much better he would be at this" Jon says as we stop under the red leaves at the base of the tree. The ghosts already gone. 

"I think he would be proud of what you've done," I tell him, turning to face him. A small smile graces his lips as he looks at me. I look around at the frozen landscape surrounding us. 

"I use to think about this a lot" I mumble. 

"About what?" he asks. 

"About us standing here in front of this tree. With all of the Starks and the smallfolk and our friends as we said our vows underneath its branches like so many others have before us" I answer. He smiles and chuckles a bit. 

"What?" I ask, a bit confused by his laughter. 

"I thought you detested the idea of marriage?" he asks. 

"When I thought Lord Stark was gonna marry me off to some random Lord, yes I did detest it. But you made me think differently" I tell him with a smile, raising up my right hand to his cheek, running my thumbs lightly over his skin. 

"I knew that if I married you, you wouldn't force me into a life of servitude. That our life together would be an adventure, and that we would be happy because we had each other" I continue. He pulls me into a soft kiss, wrapping an arm loosely around my waist as he pulled me closer. Suddenly he pulled away, startled.

"Well don't let me stop you" 

I turned around and there standing a few feet away was Arya Stark. I could feel my heart stop at the sight of her. 

I couldn't believe it. Part of me didn't want to believe it. It had been 6 years since I had seen her last, and she was only a girl then. A girl playing at swords. I thought that she would be dead or somewhere across the sea. Yes, we had gotten a raven about her return to Winterfell, but I feared she wouldn't wait long for us to return. But of course, how could I have forgotten? She would stay for Jon. Jon, who despite being a bastard was always a brother to Arya. She'd stay for him. For me, I wasn't so sure.

Jon and Arya stood still, watching each other with curious eyes.

"You used to be a lot taller," she remarked with a sly smile. Jon stood still, in shock and awe, as if he was seeing a ghost.

"How did you survive a knife to the heart?" she asks.

"I didn't"

They simultaneously started moving towards one another. Arya was quicker, running forward and propelling herself into Jon's outstretched arms. He hugged her tightly, laughing and smiling as brother and sister were finally reunited.

I stood by the tree, silent. Not wanting to interrupt their moment. I already felt like I was intruding. Sure Arya and I were as close as sisters. But years had passed. And I'm sure she believed I had died in childbirth.

One they broke away Arya was grinning.

"When did you become so sneaky?" Jon asks, a smile still gracing his lips.

"Back in Bravos"

"You went to Bravos?"

"Among other places" she replied simply. It was then she turned to look at me. 

"I heard you were dead" she states. Her tone was almost emotionless. 

"Yeah, I heard that too" I answer. She smiles and walks over. We hug tightly and we both smile as we move apart. 

"I saw in the village. You both looked very King and Queenly" she tells us. 

"I don't think we saw you?" I mumble, turning to look at Jon who shakes his head no. 

"It doesn't matter. I've found I'm good at hiding" she explains. I smile at them both. 

"I think I better go check on our men" I mumble with an awkward smile. 

I turn and walk out of the Godswood and towards the front of the castle, where most of our troops are camped. What once had been untouched land, was now covered with tents and people. Everyone was preparing for the Great War to come. I walked around the shared Dothraki and Unsullied camp, talking with soldiers as I passed by and chatting with some of the women. 

Tyrion walked across the tops of the castle, looking down at the people and things below. He would never admit it to anyone else, but he liked being up high. He wasn't a dwarf when everyone was so far down below. He was just another man who was above other men. He walked farther up the steps to Sansa, who was watching the people down below. She fit the role of a lady well, some could even say she looked more like a Queen than a lady. 

He approached her slowly. She seemed a bit lost in thought as he moved closer, but once he was within a foot or two of her, she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. 

"Lady Sansa of Winterfell. If anyone could have done it it would have been you" he remarks with a smile. She forces a small smile to her lips, a smile that could have been a smirk if Tyrion wasn't mistaken. 

"Lord Tyrion. A pleasure to see you here" she replied, not bothering to look his way. But from the sound of her voice, it didn't seem like it was much of a pleasure at all. 

"I haven't seen you since Joffrey's wedding. Very nice of you to just leave me after his murder. Not suspicious at all" he remarked the sarcasm lacing his voice. He forced a smile of his own, a smile dripping with sarcasm. Too bad she wouldn't turn around to witness it, in all its radiant glory. The smile quickly turned back to a frown as he cleared his throat. 

"I heard about your marriage to Ramsay...are you alright?" he asks. He could detect a hint of pain flash across her face at the mention of his name. Ramsay Bolton had developed a bit of a reputation over the years, and it wasn't a very kind one. 

"I have experience being married to monsters" she replied, her voice slightly teasing as she finally turned to face him, regal as ever. 

It was hard for Tyrion to imagine her as the scared little girl he tried to protect for prince Joffery. She had changed so much over the years. That little girl naivety was gone, and that bright smile she once had was replaced with a hardened mask.

She turned back after a moment, turning her steely gaze back to look out over the battlements. He could see the worry in her eyes. It took him a moment to see it, but he did. She didn't think that they would win this fight. That look in her eyes, it was a hopelessness, and he knew it well.

"Don't worry, once the Lannister forces arrive, we'll stand much more of a chance" Tyrion told her, trying to offer her a bit of hope.

"If you honestly think that Cersei is going to send her forces here, then you are not as clever as everyone believes you to be" she snaps back coolly. Tyrion was a bit taken back by the statement, but she wasn't wrong.

"I have hope that she'll do the right thing" he replied after a long moment of silence, and it was silent again.

"You know, if we would have stayed married, we would have made a good match. With both of our cunnings minds we would be unstoppable" he remarked, trying to end on a lighter note.

"It wouldn't have worked for long. Especially because our lives went in such different directions. Even now, you're a hand to a foreigner and I'm the Qu-"she froze, eyes a bit wide at what she was about to say. She had hoped he wouldn't catch it, but nothing got past him.

"The Queen?" he asks, eyebrows raised. He couldn't say he was surprised that that was how she saw herself, but never the less it was a dangerous statement to make.

"Jon...the King just returned and I've been acting...Queen in his absence. It just took me a moment...that's all" she replied, choosing her words carefully.

"And now he's chosen a new Queen...not that you were ever actually the Queen" he told her, trying to tempt her temper. He watched as her cheeks and knuckles turned a faint shade of red, her nostrils flaring in a silent anger.

"I never expected to become Jon's Queen. He's my brother"

"Half-brother, and I'm sure the Northerners would understand if he chose you as a Queen outside the realms of marriage" he proposed, but she didn't look surprised. She's thought about this before.

"He's already chosen his Queen" she states after a moment.

"Ah yes. Your adopted sister. And how do you feel about that? You didn't seem too thrilled when they made the announcement"

"You didn't seem very happy about it either" she commented, turning to face him once more. A look of anger, betraying her attempt at a calm demeanor.

"They announced their intentions to all the Northern Lords before speaking to their advisor. I have nothing against their relationship. It's obvious that they love each other. It's the timing that was the issue, but for you...I doubt your reasoning is as justified as mine"

"It doesn't matter what my opinion on their pending marriage is. They are going to do it with or without it so what's the use?" she replies simply.

"Would you care to enlighten me about your reasons?" he asks, curious about her objections. Surely it wasn't just so she could be Queen of the North. No, he could tell. There was something else.

"Why just so you could go running to Jon and her to tell them and turn them against me?" she asks, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Your complete lack of faith in me is astounding!" he laments, in mock surprise. She only gives him a look, before turning to look away yet again. She released a heavy sigh and took a deep breath.

"Men don't make the smartest decisions. Especially when they are blinded by love"

"Fair enough. But why would their decision to marry be a bad one?"

"Because...she isn't a northerner. She isn't one of us, and when they marry whose to say that they'll stay in the North. Because that is where he should be. Not in Kings Landing with some girl because he's blinded by his feelings" she states, her emotions starting to get the best of her.

"Not one of you? From my understanding, she's lived in the North since she was a babe. She grew up beside you and your brothers. And your father"

"Yes, but she isn't a Stark. Her white hair and purple eyes say as much, and when she left King's Landing where did she go? Not to Robb or to Jon. Not to Bran or Rickon. She left us to go join her sister across the sea. What Northerner, what Stark would do that to their family?" she asks, her bitterness finally shining through.

Tyrion remained silent. He understood. She felt abandoned. Abandoned by a woman she used to call a sister. He stayed still, choosing his words carefully before he began to speak again.

"And let's say she decided to stay with you in King's Landing, or that she returned to Winterfell or joined your brother Robb on the road with his army. She would have been persecuted by the Lannister's, or my sister would have just had her killed for the same reasons you claim she isn't a Stark. She would be dead"

"Maybe...or maybe my brothers, my mother, and father would have lived"

There was no making her see reason. There was nothing more to argue. They stood in silence; Tyrion unsure of what he should say.

"If that's how you feel...Then there is nothing more I can say to change your mind" he replied. He gave a small nod of respect before continuing his way up to the tops of the walls. Where Davos and Varys were waiting. He saw them staring off into the distance. 

"Watching the battle preparations?" Tyrion comments as he walks closer to them. 

"Yes...if you could consider it battle preparations" Varys mumbles. Tyrion gives him a confused look before peering out over the walls. He looked down and saw Rhaella and Jon walking about the camp. They looked happy, despite everything that was going on around them. 

"Ah yes, the young lovers" Tyrion replies. 

"You could call them that, or you could call them our newest problems" Davos replies. 

"The Northerners are already talking about Jon's foreign...whore I believe was the word," Davos says. 

"Are we honestly surprised? After everything, the North has been through and is about to go through? Of course, the announcement wouldn't go over well" Varys states, a small trace of anger in his voice. 

"And what can we do about it? We can't take it back. We can't very well contain it...all we can do now is try to control the backlash" Tyrion replied with a sigh. 

"I had hoped we could marry Jon off to our Queen, instead of to her sister" Varys sighed. 

"He wouldn't have agreed to it. He loves her, and she him. Actually I think they are a pretty good match when it comes down to it" Davos pitches in, smiling as the young lovers down below started laughing and smiling. 

"I think they are a good match too. They balance one another out and they make smart decisions together...but, royal lines must continue" Tyrion states, turning to face them. 

"You don't think she'll be able to have children?" Davos asks. 

"She got quite the wound to her lower abdomen when they went beyond the wall. If she manages to get with child...I'd be most surprised" Varys states. 

"Not to be rude, but I don't think Jon would care, and I don't think it should matter that much" Davos argues. 

"You're right, it shouldn't matter that much, but it does" Tyrion replies. The three men go silent, each quietly thinking about the young pair below them. 

Meanwhile, the young couple was wandering through the tents, reminiscing about their childhood. 

"Do you remember when Robb convinced us that the horses were actually shapeshifters?" I asked with a laugh. 

"Yeah, and he made us stay up all night in the stables because he told us they change form in their sleep" he laughs. 

"We were in that stable for days! Waiting to see the horses change" I continue with a smile. He smiles back as we continue to stroll through the camp. Occasionally stopping to make comments on the things being done. 

"Princess! Princess!" One of the Dothraki guards shouts from behind us. I turn around to face them. 

"What has happened?" I ask calmly. 

"The Dragons. They aren't eating like they normally do. The Queen wants you to check on them" They tell me, worried looks in their eyes. I nod, silently dismissing them. They bow and turn around, heading back to my sister I suspect. She had been keeping a close eye on me as of late as if she thought I wouldn't notice. I take a deep breath and turn back to face Jon. 

"Is everything alright?" he asks. 

"It's the Dragons. Dany wants me to go check on them" I tell him. 

"Then let's go," he says, making me smile. We may not have been married, but already everything was we. I couldn't express how happy that made me. For years it felt like I was in this alone, but now we were in everything together. We walked along the beaten path towards the caves by the cliffs, where the dragons were. As we approached, the dragons began to stir. They were laying on the snow, in an almost lifeless manner. In front of them was a patch of black with only a few charred bones between the three of them. Jon stayed back as I walked closer. Drogon raised his head slightly, while Visenya moved her head closer to me. Rhaegal stayed perfectly still, his eyes following me as I got closer. I moved to Visenya's snout, placing my hand on the top. 

I closed my eyes, feeling her warmth radiating through my hands. I could hear her breathing, and it felt shallow and sad. She didn't feel as warm as she once was. I did the same with Drogon, who stared at me curiously the entire time. He was always curious about me. He had a much stronger bond with Dany, and it almost seemed at times that he was confused by me. Rhaegal didn't even bother to open his eyes as I examined him. Once I was finished I walked back over to Jon. 

"Well?" he asks.

"They're sad. They don't like it up here" I answer, looking over the dragons. I took off my boots, setting them in the charred circle. 

"What are you doing?" Jon asks me curiously. As I sink my bare feet into the snow I let out a sigh of relief. The snow melted instantly around me, and I could feel my body temperature starting to level out. Not feeling as overheated as all the furs and my shoes made me feel. I walked over to Visenya, who made herself ready to fly as I mounted her. 

"Would you like to join me?" I ask. He eyes Drogon warily, and Drogon seems to do the same to him. 

"Rhaegal will be kinder," I tell him, with a smile. He walks over to Rhaegal, a scared, worried look overtaking his features. 

"What if he doesn't want me to?" He asks nervously. 

"Then I suppose it's over between us," I say with a teasing smile. He tries to smile back, but it ends up being a look of fear. I watch as he slowly places a hand on Rhaegal's snout, before proceeding to climb up onto his back.

"What do I hold on to?" he asks. 

"Well, whatever you can" I reply, edging Visenya forward. She starts moving forward, faster and faster until she takes to the sky. Behind me, I can hear Jon shouting, both out of fear and joy. I smiled as we soared through the air. A feeling of weightlessness and freedom started to overtake me. The wind rushing through my hair, the feeling of there being absolutely nothing in this world, but me and Visenya. 

We landed near a waterfall. We dismounted and walked closer to the water, but we stopped about halfway there. 

"So what did you think?" I ask. 

"It was amazing. I didn't think it would make me feel like that" he says, turning to face me with a smile. 

"Like what?" 

"Free"


End file.
